Chapter 39: a Heated Chase.

(Important Note: this takes place at the same time as Chapter 38.)

Lizzie runs through the trees of the once zombie-filled forest, desperate and intent on getting away from this horrible place with her life intact.

Meanwhile, far behind her, Stacy and Stampy burst through the front doors, their eyes dazzled by the fresh, potent daylight shining down on them as morning begins to ripen.

"Whoa!" Stacy shades her eyes "heh, quite the difference from the dark, gloomy mansion room, isn't it!?" there was pleasure and an adventurous hint in her voice.

"I never wanna see this place again as long as I live!" Stampy remarks.

"Aye...!" Stacy grins deviously, "and you won't!" she holds out her hands "give me Stampy Kitten! or the fucking flint and steel, whichever you prefer referring to the inanimate object as!"

"I have no preference!" he shoves them into her hands.

"Oh-ho-ho! then flint and steel it shall be!" Stacy laughs, "burn, baby! BURN!" she turns around and steps back inside the mansion.

Click-click-click-click-click-click-click-click-click-click-click-click! Stacy goes pyromaniac, setting the whole room on fire.

"What the...!?" Dan gapes in shock as he runs into the room only to find himself cut off from the door by flames.

"HA! were you trying to fucking get away, Dan!? hahahaha!" Stampy laughs at his nemesis suffering such peril.

"N-no...!" Dan breathes in horror, stepping back slowly as the flames spread "no, no, no, no, NOOOOOO! what did you fucking do!? you're BURNING it!"

"With YOUR flint and steel!" Stampy jeers, "bye, bye, now!"

"Yesss...!" Stacy hisses, sounding exactly like Jesse, because the darkness has consumed them just like they knew it would if they didn't stop it when they had the chance "looks like Dan TDM is going to be Dan T-O-A-S-T!"

"And the mighty Dan TDM is currently Dan Totally Damned Motherfucker!" Stampy adds, "come on, Stacy! let's leave this place to burn to the ground!"

"Of course! hahaha!" Stacy laughs as she backs safely out of the building, completely untouched by the flames.

"NO! WAAAIT!" Dan calls after them, running forward a bit, but not too far because he's STILL NAKED and fire fucking hurts "wh-why are you even still here!? what happened to hunting down Lizzie!?"

"Fuck that! that's Jesse's work, we're in it for number one and two, baby! Lizzie can go do whatever she wants for all I care, we're gonna burn you all to a crisp and run away laughing because we're, going, home!" Stampy cheers, "have fun with the flaming hot psycho rapists, Minecart! I'll tell your subs you said goodbye!"

"World's number one Minecraft-YouTuber my ass!" Stacy laughs, swooning over to lean on Stampy "his throne is finally going to be yours, honey!"

"And you'll be queen by my side, StacyPlays!" Stampy holds the side of her head and passionately kisses her.

"NAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Dan flips at the sight of his worst enemy gettin' some while he's about to die.

"What are you gonna do about it!?" Stacy laughs evilly at him "call for help from your BOYFRIEND?"

"ERRRRRRRRRRRRM!" that burns Dan up deep down inside.

"Now for the candle on this cake...!" Stacy sounds more and more identical to Jesse by the minute as the darkness consumes her very soul "let's close the door on him, not watch him die, and assume it all just went perfectly according to freakin' plan!"

She has now just reached superspy movie villain status.

"Until next time, Minecart...!" Stampy laughs, putting his hand on the edge of the door in preparation to swing it closed, "ENJOY THE AFTERLIFE!"

SLAM! the door shuts violently from across the blazing room, leaving Dan alone, caught between smoldering demise, and the hopelessly cruel tormentors that held a fate worse than death, or, in this scenario, possibly the most horrible death he could imagine, what, oh what, will little Dan do now?

Click-click-"Ha-ha-ha!" Stacy chuckles as she sets both the left and right sides of the door itself on fire "I'd like to see him try to get through THAT."

"I love you so much, baby!" Stampy relishes Evil Stacy.

"Yesss, I love me too." Stacy nods "did you want to even bother the slightest bit with chasing Lizzie down? I'm good with just... blowing that off, I mean, Dan, Cassie, and Jesse's gang are all people I'd rather have die, and we've pretty much already ensured that, but we could still kill her and become the sole survivors of this if you want to."

Stacy before: we need to make peace with Dan! or else we'll turn EVIL.

Stacy now: we can KILL HER UNNECESSARILY if you wanna, I don't, but you're all the reason I need.

"Tsk! what do we care? we'll just leave her to do whatever she wants, hell, it could even take suspicion off of us this way, might seem dodgy if you and me are the only ones left." Stampy shrugs.

"And she KNOWS that it was Cassie, and Jesse's gang, so she has no reason to try to accuse us." Stacy agrees "especially if we blatantly help her escape by not going after her like we said."

"Hm-hm, we'll just let her be, no need to ruffle any more feathers." Stampy concurs, "did you wanna head home, now? we could make a lovely breakfast."

"I wanna fucking sleep for a week..." Stacy heaves, smiling slyly at him with tired, half-closed eyes "but a lovely breakfast with you sounds great too, Stampy."

"We could go out to eat, and collapse in bed by eight." Stampy proposes.

"Well, I suppose we ARE going to have to spend all those extra emeralds you're going to get when everyone jumps on giving you Dan's gigs on something." Stacy agrees "it sounds wonderful, honey, let's go."

"Alright, baby." Stampy nods, walking along with her, "I still can't help but envy Dan, though, he's going to sleep like the dead."

"HAAA!" they laugh like bastards as they leave "HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA!"

Poll Results!

"What will happen once Dan catches up with Stampy and Stacy?"

1. Stampy and Stacy will use Stampy Kitten to create a flame barrier between themselves and Dan. 0 Vote(s). (0%)

2. Stampy will shiver in the corner while Dan and Stacy swordfight. 0 Vote(s). (0%)

3. Dan will cheap-shot Stacy and then he and Stampy will swordfight. 0 Vote(s). (0%)

4. Someone will activate one of Cassie's traps. 1 Vote(s). (50%)

5. Dan will reach the other two to find that they've already caught up to Lizzie. 0 Vote(s). (0%)

6. Something totally unexpected. 1 Vote(s). (50%)

Total Votes: 2.

Total Voters: 2.

Apology Note: Due to technical and connection issues, we had to create this poll three times before it would work. The first time failed due to lost internet connection, the second time failed because fanfiction just kinda... broke. On the third time, we apparently forgot to flip the Allow Multiple Selection choice to 'On'. You were supposed to be able to select up to two options, because we're rather fond of our 1/3 system. We apologize for the mistake.

Thank you once more to everyone who voted, unfortunately nothing totally unexpected happened, nor did one of assfuck-bitch's little pussy traps get sprung. Instead, the correct answer was the flame barrier, as Stacy went more crazy with Stampy Kitten than Dan allegedly did on his creepiest nights. And now, the mansion is on fire!

The, MANSION.

Is, on, fire.

And Dan... is trapped inside.

Which leads us to this week's huge, shocking announcement.

We are proud to present to you, dear viewers, that we are now introducing a whole new level of upload awesomeness: DAN TUESDAYS! For the next while, (though not forever), we will be uploading TWO chapters a week! That's twice the Female Jesse, just for you! We will upload a new chapter detailing Dan's solo adventures on either Monday night or Tuesday morning, while still keeping up the regular Friday Night/Saturday Morning uploads to show what's happening with the rest of our colorful cast! The first DAN TUESDAY chapter comes this following week, three days from now, as Chapter 40. Please, enjoy!

(The next chapter is also, still, happening simultaneously with Chapter 38. So both halves of the 39/40 side of the story get uploaded in the same week, which is nice.)

Our new poll is, of course, "How do you think Dan will escape from the burning mansion?" You only have THREE DAYS to vote, so be sure to do so before the time runs out!

DAN TUESDAYS.