Dan Tuesday.

Chapter 44: Dan's Hitchhiking Adventure, Part 2.

(Important Note: takes place mostly at the same time as Chapter 43, just a little bit ahead.)

"AHHHHHH-OOF!" Dan screams as PwnKang catches up to him, grabs him, and forces his face into the ground.

"Runnin' ain't gonna save you from this, boy." PwnKang growls.

"D-DOOON'T!" Dan cries "pleeease...!"

"I told you not to lie to me, but you did, you done did and now you gotta pay the consequences, boy." PwnKang shakes his head as he unzips his pants.

"NOOO! I told you the truth! I, SAID, THE, TRUTH!" Dan begs.

"Now I know this goes without sayin', but I'll say it anyway..." PwnKang remarks as he whips out his dick "TorqueDawg was the straight twin, and I... am the gay twin."

"Noooooo...!" Dan tries and fails to resist "y-you can't! I've already been raped in the ass, twice last night."

"I can see that you like takin' it up there, boy, I have eyes, you got some man sauce all over your soft little cheeks already, what's one more load?" PwnKang questions.

"B-b-but...!" Dan whines "it'll be like you're fucking him!"

"...say what now, boy?" PwnKang blinks.

"The killer who raped me there twice, if you fuck me in the ass after he did already, then you're pretty much fucking him!" Dan explains.

"..." PwnKang frowns "wut, da fuk?"

BAM! he punches Dan.

"You talkin' nonsense, boy! who the hell ever told you that's how it works?" PwnKang demands.

"The killers did...!" Dan answers.

"STOP LYIN' TO ME, BOY!" PwnKang cannot fucking stand hearing anything relating to 'the killers'.

"I'M...! NOT...! LYING!" Dan screams at him.

"OOOH, YOU IN FOR IT NOW, BOY." PwnKang screams back "I'mma tear you apart!"

Wham! PwnKang thrusts his dick up Dan's ass.

"GAAAAAAHHHHHH!" Dan screams in pain, frustration, anger, and disbelief "NOOO! NOT AGAIN!"

"Mmm! you feelin' pretty good on my dick, boy." PwnKang muses, thrusting in and out, fuckin' Dan's ass "a little loose, but that's to be expected judgin' from the jizz on yo' butt."

"NOT AGAIN!" Dan tries to twist away, "GET OFF!"

He does not plan on just taking this like he did Lukas.

"Not until I'm done!"-Bap! PwnKang snarls, kicking Dan in the stomach "now just be quiet and take it like a good boy."

"Gahhh...!" Dan groans, feeling himself go limp from the blow.

It-it's no use...! Dan realizes in horror, I'm WAY too exhausted to deal with this right now! he's... too... fresh...!

"Oomph! ooh! ugh! oh yeah! urgh! fuck! urgh! urgh!" PwnKang grunts with each pleasurable thrust into Dan "shoulda just got down and fucked you when I found you, boy."

"Ugggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhnnnnnnnnnnnn...!" Dan feels sick "WHYYYYYYYYYYYY!?"

"WHY!? you askin' fuckin' WHY?" PwnKang barks "because you fuckin' lied to me! and this is what men who lie to PwnKang get, a fine, good ol' fashioned, assfucking!"

Why...? Dan thinks tiredly, ignoring PwnKang, Why did I have the strength to fight this off, back when I couldn't resist, but now that I can resist, I don't have the strength to?

"Mmph-mmph-mmph-mmph-mmph-mmph-mmph-mmph-mmph-mmph-MMPH-MMPH-MMPH-MMPH-MMMMMMMMMMMMPH!" PwnKang finishes quickly because he doesn't get much sex so he has low stamina, "OHHH YEAH!" he pulls out specifically to shoot his jizz all over Dan's asscheeks.

WHAAAAAAAAAAAAH! Dan cries in his head, HE FUCKING DID IT! HE FUCKED ME UNTIL CLIMAX DESPITE MY RESISTING! NOOO! I... I CAN'T BELIEVE IT...! SOME MONSTER JUST GOT PLEASURE OUT OF RAPING ME FOR THE THIRD, FUCKING, TIME! I should be KILLING these people, NOT PLEASURING THEM!

"Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!" PwnKang stretches relaxfully "whoooooo-whee! that was good, boy, mmm-hmm, now why don't you just take a moment to reflect on whether or not you wanna tell me the truth? I'm gonna go prepare myself..." his smile widens "for, ROUND TWO."

Dan gapes, "R-Round Two!?"

"Of course! you think I'm gonna be satisfied with that? hell no, we need to go it again, I'll take it easier on ya if you tell me the truth doh, just, think about it..." PwnKang snickers as he turns away and returns to his horse.

Dan rests, watching as PwnKang retrieves three porkchops from his horse's saddle and munches them up.

"I'm not going Round Two...!" Dan hisses quietly to himself "I'll die before I let a man get pleasure from raping me a fourth time...!"

Dan looks around, he had successfully ran from PwnKang far enough that he was at the edge of the woods, there was a large tree only a short distance away.

Groaning with the effort, Dan climbs slowly to his feet and starts limping towards it.

"You not thinkin' about runnin' away again are you, boy!?" he immediately hears PwnKang snap.

"N-no, Sir...!" Dan whines, glancing back "I was just... going to gather some apples to eat, if that's alright with you."

"Hmmmmmmmmmmmm, I guess so..." PwnKang allows, still suspicious.

Dan reaches the tree and begins tearing up the blocks of leaves, after a moment he digs up a couple of dirt blocks and uses them as stepping stones to reach higher.

"Hrmph." satisfied, PwnKang turns back to his horse.

The moment his tormentor is distracted, Dan frantically chops off a couple of the wood blocks that make up the branches of the tree, purposefully leaving the trunk intact, he scoops them up and hides them in his hot bar.

Author's Note: how we've decided this works is that when somebody has a suit of clothes on, they have their hot bar and inventory, but when they're naked, like Dan is, then they only have their hot bar.

Dan continues to dig through the leaves until he has a few apples, he sits down to eat them, glancing repeatedly over to PwnKang.

PwnKang notes that Dan is eating, and walks a little ways off, his back to Dan, to take a piss, right there, in the open.

Seizing his chance, Dan takes out his wood blocks and gets to work crafting.

Come on, I'm the #1 Minecraft YouTuber of all time! I can do this, put those skills and experience to use, you're the best, you're a diamond, Dan, YOU, ARE, A DIAMOND! Dan thinks as he turns the wood blocks into wood planks, and then some of the wood planks into a crafting table, ...and they will see you shine.

Dan breaks some of the wood into sticks, and uses his resources to craft a wooden pickaxe, he then runs over to the hole he had dug out with the dirt blocks, at the bottom he finds stone blocks and he works fast to grab up a couple of them, he then returns to his crafting table and forges up a stone sword, he then hides everything back into his hot bar and sits there eating his apples.

"Ahhhhhh, okay, boy, have you considered telling me the truth yet?" PwnKang inquires as he returns to Dan's side, his creepy rapey-eyes looking down at the young man hungrily.

"I've already told you the truth." Dan states calmly "a gang of four psycho killers crashed the party last night, they killed your brother, Captain Sparklez, and probably Cassie Rose judging from the last time I saw her, which was being raped by them like I had been beforehand, their names are Jesse, Petra, Ivor, and Lukas."

PwnKang frowns, "Boy..." he leans in close "you told me yo' name, was Lukas."

"...uh, yeah?" Dan nods "because at that point I was just going along with whatever you seemed to want to hear, I'm not Lukas, that was the only lie I told you, I, AM Dan TDM, Lukas is one of the killers, in fact, he's the one who raped me twice, you've pretty much fucked him."

"..." PwnKang stares at Dan, first surprised, and then steadily angry "grrrrrrrrrrr, WHY YOU LYIN' TO ME, BOOO-!?"

Shing! Dan whips out his stone sword and stabs it right through the wide, open, 'boy' yelling mouth of PwnKang, the sword isn't very sharp so it doesn't go through the back of PwnKang's head, but it does jab deep into his sensitive flesh, and makes his eyes shoot wide in shock.

"This time...!" Dan growls "I shove my shaft, down YOUR throat!"

"I...!" PwnKang gurgles around the sword "n-never... touched... your throat, b-boy...!"

"Nobody did, but that doesn't matter, what matters is that I get my cool moment." Dan shakes his head "and really, you all pretty much did, it's like, a small difference."

Dan notices PwnKang's hand sneaking towards his hot bar.

"NO!" Dan grunts, ramming his shoulder into PwnKang and knocking the larger man over, "stay away from me!" he demands, pulling his stone sword out of PwnKang's mouth and backing away towards PwnKang's horse.

Shing! PwnKang pulls out his 'flashy' gold sword and gets to his feet, the stab in his mouth hurt, but it hardly impaired his body's fighting abilities.

"I told you stay the fuck back...!" Dan hisses.

PwnKang just walks towards him faster.

"Ugh!" Dan turns tail and runs, knowing that he can't take on an opponent who has superior armor and weaponry.

"Comin' for you...!" PwnKang grunts as he gives chase "then I'm REALLY gonna tear up that pretty little ass."

"Come on, come on, ride, ride, ride, damn it!" Dan hops onto PwnKang's horse and tries to get it to run.

"My horse is loyal to me, Lukas." PwnKang laughs "he'd never-"

Clop-clip-clop-clippity-clop-clop! Dan rides out of there on the horse.

PwnKang would scream, but that would be pushing himself too far.

"STOP!" Dan suddenly stops the horse, and turns it around to face PwnKang, refusing to just run off with what he can get "let's finish this...!"

Dan grabs PwnKang's bow and arrows from the horse's satchel, PwnKang bends his knees in preparation to dodge.

Twang-twang! Dan fires two arrows at PwnKang, one directly and one to PwnKang's left, PwnKang just rolls right and stands back up untouched.

"Ooh, you're good." Dan narrows his eyes.

"I'm the best, son." PwnKang snarls as he runs to close the gap between them.

"NO!" Dan flips out "THAT'S ME! I'M THE FUCKING BEST!"

"You's just a diamond minecart wannabe!" PwnKang taunts as he reaches Dan and grabs his leg.

"Oooh-!" Dan breathes as PwnKang pulls him off of the horse, "-oof!" he hits the ground on his back.

Dan is so fucked now.

"You shoulda just ran, boy...!" PwnKang growls as he slowly creeps down on his prey.

"SPLEEF!" Dan screams.

"...wut?" PwnKang's confused.

"I challenge you to a duel in Spleef!" Dan roars "if you're really the best, you should be able to beat me no problem, if you refuse, then you're just a coward!"

"Boy! I just beat you in dis!" PwnKang barks "you had my horse, you had my weapons, and I fuckin' beat you!"

"Do you accept, my challenge?" Dan demands.

"..." PwnKang glares down at him, furious "...I hate you, boy."

"YOUR ANSWER!" Dan demands.

"Fine! I accept your muthafuckin' challenge!" PwnKang rages, turning away and kicking a flower "and I'll beat you too! and then we'll see who's the fuckin' best, agreed?"

"Done, and DONE." Dan nods, standing back up.

"Alright, we're gonna build the stadium out of dirt blocks, we fight with shovels only, no snowballs!" PwnKang decides.

"NO, a TRUE master would be skilled in both shovels AND snowballs!" Dan pushes "we shall use both!"

"URGH, how the fuck we gonna get snowballs out here then!?" PwnKang demands "I don't have any, do you!?"

"I am naked and have nothing!" Dan points out.

"I KNOW THAT, IT WAS A FUCKIN' RHETORICAL QUESTION, DUMBASS!" PwnKang rages "we don't HAVE snowballs, so we can't use any!"

"Urgh, fine then!" Dan rolls his eyes "shovels only, and what do we have under the stadium?"

"Fuckin' lava, what else?" PwnKang snarls.

"Do you HAVE lava?" Dan questions.

"O' COURSE! otherwise why would I fucking SUGGEST IT!?" PwnKang yells.

"Alright then!" Dan agrees "lets set this shit up!"

They get to work building the stadium.

Poll Results!

"What do you think PwnKang's going to do to Dan?"

1. Punch him in the face. 1 Vote(s). (33.3%)

2. Kick him in the stomach. 1 Vote(s). (33.3%)

3. He's just going to fuck him in the ass, that's what they always do. 0 Vote(s). (0%)

4. Grab his leg and use it to swing him against the ground. 0 Vote(s). (0%)

5. All of the above and below. (Except for Dan's escape of course.) 0 Vote(s). (0%)

6. He won't do anything because Dan's going to escape. (Unlikely.) 1 Vote(s). (33.3%)

Total Votes: 3.

Total Voters: 2.

Oh-no! Poor little Dan, PwnKang did everything to him! The correct answer this time, was ALL OF THE ABOVE! D:

Dan did ALMOST manage to escape, but he screwed that up. Luckily, he's bargained himself a fighting chance! What will happen when he and PwnKang go head to head in minecraft's most deadly popular sport!? Find out next week, in the epic, exciting, world-ending conclusion of DAN TUESDAYS! That's right, the next Dan Chapter... will be the last.

In the meantime, let's steer the focus back over to our villains, Jesse and the gang, who have just survived Cassie's Ender Storm TNT attack using Ivor's obsidian blocks. As one might aptly figure, the new poll is about them! "What do you think is going to happen once the dust settles?" Vote now!