Chapter 53: Stampy's Greatest Moment.

The whole time Stacy and Dan had been fighting, Stampy was only vaguely aware of it. He layed on his side, eyes shut, crying and holding the cut on his face, applying pressure and trying to block the flow of blood.

It wasn't working too well for him.

"P-potion...!" Stampy whines, taking one hand off and rummaging around in his inventory, his heart sinks as he remembers that he ran out of his precious lifesavers "ohhh...!"

But then his hand feels the bottle of a potion.

"Hm...?" he pulls out it "oh bother, what are you? probably something useless."

He finds that it's his health regeneration potion that he had forgotten about.

"Oh..." Stampy's eyes light up in realization, "okay...!"

He pops the cap and gets ready to drink that sucker.

SWOOSH-CLANG! his ears catch the clear, loud sound of Stacy's and Dan's battle.

He pauses, and twists to gaze over at them.

It's hard to see in the darkness of the rain and his watery, pained eyes, but he see's Stacy's and Dan's swords beating the shit out of each other, Dan backs off and Stacy limps after him.

What if... the thought crosses Stampy's mind ...Stacy winds up needing this more than I do?

He sits for a moment, looking down at the little regeneration potion, and thinks.

In their current conditions, Stacy had a smacked and shot through head and a stabbed knee, and Stampy was bleeding from both his wrists, and especially heavily from the wound on his head, however, even if the battle were to end right then with the both of them carrying on back home just as they were, Stampy knew that Stacy's knee injury was much more likely to persist and bleed the whole way back, that paired with the fact that Stacy was still currently fighting this very moment, made it pretty clear what had to be done.

"I'll save you." Stampy shoves the cork back onto the bottle, and places it into his hot bar, "if either of us get badly hurt or bleeds out too much, they'll use it as quickly as possible, if we wrap things up without further injury, Stacy gets it, if we both bleed out or get hurt bad, Stacy can have it then too, since she'd even have a better chance of getting me to a hospital or whatever then I would with her, so... yeah, yeah, I feel pretty good about this." he nods approvingly to himself.

He looks back over to the battle field, wiping his eyes to try to see clearer.

"AAAAAAEEEEEEEEEEEEIIIIIIUUUUUURRRRRRGGGGGGHHHHHH!" Dan wails, falls to his knees, and gets his face slashed by Stacy, making it rain blood down as she laughs manically.

"OH-HO-HO!" Stampy immediately breaks into a grin.

"Look, Stampy...!" Stacy calls gleefully to him, walking around to behind Dan, grabbing his wet, messy hair and pulling his head up into perfect view "we did it!"

"YAAA-!" Stampy starts to cheer and then stops abruptly.

Boom, boom, boom, BOOM. Stampy's eyes widen as his gaze zooms farther and farther onto Stacy's face, her eyes bright with sick glee, her slasher-smile uncontrollably wide, her skin tanned with a layer of light mud, and a lock of her hair bright red with Dan's blood.

"Come on, Stampy...!" the woman he can only see as Jesse coaxes "let's finish this fuckboy! then we can finally go home, and live happily ever after, together."

Stampy swallows, frozen with fear and shock, his eyes flicker and twitch but don't dare move from the terrifying sight before him, his lips tremble, unable to speak.

"Did you wanna fuck him in the ass with this!?" 'Jesse' offers Stampy her diamond sword.

Stampy felt droplets running down his face, he wasn't sure if he was crying, or if it was the rain, or his own, or even maybe Dan's, blood, but he really, really couldn't care less.

What was he even looking at? he felt insane, perhaps he had lost too much blood, maybe he should have just taken the potion himself, if it was even ever real, what he saw seemed so authentic, but so surreal and impossible, and so horrible, that his brain couldn't fully process or accept it.

Not until he was wailing at the top of his lungs, anyway, which he was now.

"WAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Stampy loses his shit as he rolls onto his side, rocking back and forth in hopeless trauma.

"Holy shit!" 'Jesse's' immediately on this, she runs over, bends down, and throws her arms around Stampy, "Stampy! what's the matter!? don't cry, baby...!" she comforts him.

BOOM. Stampy remembers.

"AHHHHHHHHHHHH!" he cries/screams even harder.

HOW!? Stampy thinks, blocking out the rest of the world and focusing on just his thoughts, How is she JESSE now!? they're nothing alike! th-this doesn't make sense, NOTHING ABOUT THIS MAKES SENSE!

Stampy's mind freezes, tense, but calm, as his panic triggers a series of memories.

...

"Truthfully speaking, I think we need to, not even for him, but for us... because if we see him fall this far, and then die, and be gone forever, without you and him ever making peace, and you don't feel anything, or worse, feel good about it... then I'm terrified at the prospect of what we might become further down that road... like people always say, 'once you definitively step down the path of the dark side, there's no going back, it will consume you forever'..." Stacy warns.

...

"Okay..." Stampy accepts, "but what about the restraining order?"

...

"...fuck, we tried." Stacy shrugs.

...

Oh... my... god. Stampy realizes, Sh-she warned me that this would happen, she said, stressed, that we would become monsters if we... if we didn't do the right thing... monsters... just like... the ones we were trying to escape from.

Stampy's heart sinks, his chest feels tight, and it becomes harder for him to breathe as the full weight of the realization hits him, that it was his own reluctance to put in the effort it takes to do the right thing, that lead to them blatantly doing the wrong thing, and NOT being good people as they lied to themselves as being. It was in fact, his fault that the woman he loved... had transformed into a second woman that he could never love.

As Stampy's entire body stresses with the guilt and horror at the consequences of his actions, a small, shining, beacon of hope comes to him in the form of the tiny, jolting realization that maybe, just maybe, since he was feeling this way now, it wasn't too late to change things yet.

He knew what he had to do.

"Get off! GET OFF!" Stampy cries as he shoves 'Jesse's' arms away from him and stumbles messily to his feet.

"Stampy!?" 'Jesse' doesn't know what the fuck is going on.

He walks weakly but determinedly over to Dan.

"Minecart!" Stampy grabs his arch enemy's bare shoulders and pulls him upwards, "stand up!"

"Oooh!" 'Jesse' grins, liking where this is going.

"Enjoy... your... blood-soaked... subs..." Dan groans, defeated and expecting those to be his last words "I hope... they were worth... your souls..."

"Drink it!" Stampy equips the regeneration potion and holds it forcefully out to Dan.

"Oh-oh-oh!" 'Jesse' raises her hand "what is it!? potion of slowness!? poison!?"

"Make me..." Dan refuses.

"Dan...!" Stampy's eyes widen seriously, "I'm SORRY, just drink it." he grabs Dan's hand and places it on the potion.

"Sorry?" Dan repeats "for... what? not... doing this... sooner...?"

"I'm not going to let you die, Minecart, not here, not to me..." Stampy shakes his head, looking into the superior celebrity's eyes seriously, "this was a mistake! this was all a mistake! I never should have wished any harm onto you or anyone else! just drink it and go home, Dan!"

"..." Dan narrows his eyes, "oh you sick, little fuck... fine... I'll drink... your thing..." Dan takes the potion "but I'm... not falling... for your... act..."

Glub-glub-glub. Dan drinks the potion of regeneration.

'Jesse' eagerly runs up beside Stampy to see what happens.

After a moment, Dan's eyes stretch with surprise as he feels his pain easing and his wounds regenerating back to their healthy, unharmed state.

"You...!" Dan breathes "why are you healing me!? what's your game, kittenman!?"

"YES! we're gonna torture you, ALL OVER AGAIN!" 'Jesse' cheers "thank you, Stampy! I love this shit!"

"Not anymore you don't!" Stampy snaps at her then turns back to Dan and drops to his knees, "see!? I'm sorry! I'm so, so sorry, okay...!?" he's crying, "I know what I did was wrong and you have the right to fucking hate my guts and wish me to hell for the rest of your life, Dan, but please, just, if you can ever find it in your poor, victimized, tormented, but hopefully still loving heart, to forgive me, then I swear, I swear, I'll be your loyal friend and never do anything to hurt you ever again!" he takes out Dan's enchanted flint and steel and holds it out to him, "here! take this back! take it and go live your happy life back home or exploring different worlds! enjoy your fame, enjoy your fortune, get together with Lizzie, whatever you want! you deserve all of it! I hope nothing unfortunate ever, EVER happens to you again! I hope you pass away peacefully and painlessly from old age after leading a rich and fulfilled life of nothing but happiness and prosperity!"

Dan stares at him.

'Jesse' smiles.

"...HUH-HUH-HUH!" Dan snatches Stampy Kitten and runs for the hills, slipping and sliding across the wet ground and grass as he goes, slowly drifting out of sight.

"Heh-heh-heh." 'Jesse' chuckles "what are we going to do to him?"

"Nothing!" Stampy grabs her and looks into her eyes desperately, "come on, Stacy! I know you're still in there somewhere! you can't have been completely consumed yet! please...!"

'Jesse's' smile fades, "Stampy...?" she's confused "what are you talking about?"

"Remember what you said!" Stampy keeps trying to get through to her, "we CAN'T do this, Stacy! we can't kill Dan or we'll be slowly consumed by evil as we go down the path of darkness until we just flat out turn into monsters! that's what's happened to you! please just remember! it's me, Stampy! and not the corrupted one either, the original, sweet, innocent, lovey, everyone's friend Stampy! remember me!? I'm the man you fell in love with, Stacy! I'm still here! and I need you to come back! you can't be gone forever yet, just please, please...!"

"What!?" Stacy pulls away from him, her expression twisting with disgust "are, you, KIDDING ME!? what is wrong with you!? you've waited YEARS for the moment that you would finally surpass Dan, and now that it's here, after I risked my life to get it for you, you just, THROW IT AWAY!?"

"You look... like... Jesse!" Stampy stresses, pulling her by the shoulder towards a puddle so she could see her reflection.

"..." Stacy stares at it, silent.

"You ESPECIALLY look like Jesse when you're laughing and hurting people and asking if I want to fuck Dan in the ass with a sword!" Stampy adds.

"...EWWWWWW!" Stacy reels back, immediately wiping her face clean with her arms as much as she can.

"YES! yes, baby, you're back!" Stampy throws his arms around her and smothers the side of her face with kisses, "mwah-mwah-mwah-mwah-mwah!"

"Get off of me!" 'Stacy' isn't completely back, so 'Jesse' roughly shoves him away "yes, I looked LIKE her, superficially, thanks to circumstance, but I am NOTHING like Jesse! I've never been! laughing is something almost everyone does, and hurting people doesn't put me on the same level as her! I am INSULTED, Stampy."

"But it was a sign!" Stampy pushes, "even if you didn't reach her level yet, THAT'S what's going to happen to you if we keep going on like this!"

Poll Results!

"What do you think will happen now that the Stacy/Dan fight is over?"

1. Stacy will execute Dan in yet another horrid act of brutality. 0 Vote(s). (0%)

2. Stampy and Stacy will smugly boast about their victory as they watch Dan bleed out and die. 0 Vote(s). (0%)

3. Stampy will fuck Dan's ass with Stacy's sword, 4 da lulz. 0 Vote(s). (0%)

4. Stampy and Stacy will embrace, their displays of affection for each other serving as a final way to spite Dan as he dies alone. 0 Vote(s). (0%)

5. Jesse and the gang will arrive just in time to see that Stampy and Stacy have finished off Dan, they gleefully greet their partners-in-crime and the group discuss what to do next. 0 Vote(s). (0%)

6. Stampy will realize he has one potion left that can heal somebody, and he uses it to fix himself or Stacy while Dan helplessly watches. 1 Vote(s). (33.3%)

7. Stampy will realize he has one potion left that can heal somebody, and he uses it to fix Dan up JUST so they can kill him a third time. 0 Vote(s). (0%)

8. Lizzie will suddenly come to Dan's rescue, successfully distracting/crippling Stampy and Stacy long enough for her to heal Dan and just barely save him from death's doorstep. 1 Vote(s). (33.%)

9. Something totally unexpected. 1 Vote(s). (33.3%)

Total Votes: 3.

Total Voters: 1.

Ta-da! Congrats, voter, you got it right! Despite the huge list of deliciously wicked and assfuckingly horrible things they could have done to Dan, the totally unexpected happened. Stampy realized that allowing themselves to end Dan's life this way would destroy not only what he hates most, but what he loves above all as well.

So Dan has been allowed to scamper off once again, but what will happen to him now? Smells like a NEW POLL to us! What will happen to Dan? Vote for your favorite choice!