5/6! Star of the Normandy is almost over. In this very long chapter: Tragic Backstories(TM) and a little fangirling. I tried to cover as much ground as possible so I wouldn't need an extra chapter of just character development.
Enjoy~!
The Endgame is next week~
Chapter Five – The Reaper IFF
After Shepard came back with Garrus and Thane from the Citadel, Star went up to see her drell friend. As she entered Life Support, as always, Thane acknowledged her presence the moment she walked up to him.
"Do you need something?"
"Got a minute?"
"Certainly." He replied, turning to face her. Star sat across from him.
"How did meeting Kolyat go?" She asked, leaning against the table.
"Better than I'd feared. He'd been contracted to assassinate a turian politician, Shepard and I were able to stop him before he'd done anything too incriminating. The C-Sec captain in Zakera Ward is considering employing him. I am awaiting the details from the commander." Thane had a peaceful look on his face. Star smiled.
"That's good to hear. I told you seeing Kolyat again was a good idea."
"Yes, it appears you were right. Kolyat and I spoke briefly when we got back to C-Sec." the drell's gaze cast downwards. "Our problems, they cannot be fixed with a few words. We'll keep talking, see what happens." His gaze met his human companion's, her pools of red filled with optimism and comfort. Strangely, they made him feel more at ease.
Star placed a hand on top of his and smiled sweetly. "I'm sure things will work out." The drell smiled slightly and nodded.
"And what of you? Did you resolve your issues as well?"
Star shrugged. "I wouldn't say my issues are 'resolved'. But Shepard did help me track down my sister's killer. He was on Illium, holed up in a warehouse with Eclipse guarding him."
Thane's brow plates furrowed as he noticed Star's distant expression. "You have avenged your sister. Are you not at peace?"
Star shook her head. "No, I suppose not. I thought that finding him – that killing him would set me free. I feel satisfied that my sister is avenged, but I also feel… lost. Empty. Without purpose." She shrugged. "I never really planned what I'd do with myself afterwards, I guess."
"I've learned from experience that revenge is not the answer we seek, rather it is a mere distraction. We lose ourselves pursuing vengeance, and drift, lost and without direction afterwards."
"I really wish you'd told me that sooner."
"It would have changed nothing. Tell me, would you not kill that man again if given the chance?"
She hesitated, her gaze downcast. "Well, yes. A thousand times over."
"Then you've accepted your fate, as I have." The girl looked up at Thane. "You were not planning on coming back from our mission, were you?" Her eyes widened, then her gaze fell again. She shook her head. "What will you do then, if by chance, you survive? Will you seek new purpose, or wander aimlessly?"
Star's eyes darted from the drell's hands to hers nervously as Thane cupped her hands in his. Her heart pounded, the beat resounding in her ears. "Perhaps, if we both survive, may we be able to find purpose in each other? Two aimless souls, wandering the galaxy?" A wave of heat washed over Star's face at his words.
'Does he mean what I think he means? Does he… want to spend the remainder of his life with me?' Her thoughts raced at a million miles per hour as she drew a deep breath to still her beating heart. "Yes, perhaps." She replied with a slight smile. The drell nodded and withdrew his hands, Star already missing their smoothness and warmth. "If you don't mind me saying, you don't really seem like an assassin."
"You've spent too much time fighting thugs who think custom-painted armor makes them professionals. The hanar trained my body for this role since I was six years old."
Star's brows raised. "The hanar? The really polite floating pink jellyfish? Why would they train assassins?"
"Every species trains assassins. The hanar are only unusual in that they need other species to do the killing for them. They have a strong grip, and natural toxins. But have you ever seen one move quickly outside of water, or fire a gun?"
"Does Blasto count?"
Thane chuckled slightly and shook his head.
"Did your parents agree to it?"
"The agreement was made under the Compact. It was an honor for our family."
"The what?"
"Compact. We live on the hanar homeworld because they rescued us – some of us – from extinction. We owe them our lives. That is the Compact."
"What are the terms?"
"There are many things the hanar can't do, even with mechanical aid. They ask drell to assist them."
"The hanar sound weak."
"Out here they are. But if you could see them in the Encompassing – the oceans of Kahje – you would see them differently." The drell blinked as he slipped into a memory. "A stream of silver in the dark. Looping, diving. So fast the eye can't follow. Laughter like the squeals of a child vibrates the water. They fly over the black of the sea bed, like birds plumed with the light of heaven." He blinked a few times then looked back at his companion.
"You've gone freelance now. What changed?"
His gaze shifted. "I was asleep a long time, yes. I paid no attention to what my body was asked to do. But then-" Thane cut himself off and slipped into another memory. "Laser dot trembles on his skull. One finger-twitch, he dies. Then the smell of spice on the spring wind. Sunset-colored eyes defiant in the scope. The laser dances away." The drell looked down and closed his eyes, regaining his composure. Star stared at him intently, remaining silent. He looked back at her, leaning against the desk. "My apologies. Drell slip into memories so easily."
"Sounds like one of your assassinations."
"Ah. Yes. Perhaps we can discuss it later. I've wasted too much of your time."
Star nodded and arose from her chair. "Talk to you later, Thanatos-" She clamped her hand over her mouth the moment the word escaped her lips.
'The nickname I made up for him.'
Thane gave her a questioning look, but Star hurried out of Life Support and into the elevator before the drell could ask, her hand still clasped firmly over her mouth. As the doors closed, she hit the button for Deck 4 and collapsed against the side of the elevator, sliding to the ground.
"Me and my big mouth." She groaned.
"Commander, you've received a new message at your private terminal." Shepard heard Kelly as she walked past her to the Galaxy Map. She'd check her messages later. Right now, she had an important mission she'd been putting off for far too long to do. For good reason; she needed to build up her crew. She needed everyone's heads in the game if they were going to pull this off, and it surprised her that every one of her squadmates had something they needed doing. As long as everyone was focused, they could do this. Definitely. The only teammate whose mission she'd put off for the time being was Tali's. Sure, she was being accused of treason, but the quarian admirals couldn't actually exile her before she showed up to the hearing, could they?
Could they?
The commander shook her head. No, of course not. Besides, she was sure they'd have time to visit the Migrant Fleet afterwards. With a sigh, she opened the map interface. "Joker, plot a course to the Thorne system in the Hawking Eta. Let's go get that IFF."
"Roger that, Commander."
Shepard stepped away from the map as the interface dimmed and headed to the elevator. "Garrus, Tali, suit up and report to the portside airlock." She said into her earpiece as she rode up to her cabin to prepare.
Soon, the Normandy had entered the system and was approaching the brown dwarf the derelict Reaper was orbiting. The ship began to shake violently as they entered the planet's atmosphere.
"What's with all the chop, Joker?" Shepard asked as she ran up to the pilot's chair.
"Doing my best. The wind's gusting to 500 kph." He replied as he steered the ship closer. As they approached the Reaper, Joker checked the scans. "There's a second ship alongside the Reaper. It's not transmitting any IFF, but the ladar paints its silhouette as geth."
"I guess we know why the science team stopped reporting in." Shepard said dryly, still clinging to Joker's chair. The ship moved in closer, and suddenly, all the shaking stopped. "What just happened?"
"The Reaper's mass effect fields are still active. We just passed inside their envelope." Shepard turned to leave as Joker added, "Eye of the hurricane, huh?"
Shepard and her squadmates boarded the Reaper quickly and passed through the airlock. Just outside, they were greeted by an old corpse and dried blood along the walls. "Exploring an abandoned area, expecting something mechanical and nasty to jump out at any moment. Just like old times." Garrus spoke up, looking around. The team pressed forward into what looked like a lab. The ship was huge and hollow, and sent chills up the commander's spine. She walked over to a terminal and played a video log by Dr. Chandana, who spoke of what Shepard was currently experiencing; a sinking feeling, like the walls were slowly closing in. She shook it off and they pressed ahead, gathering spare Medi-Gel from the stations along the wall. Another terminal nearby with another work log, this one of a scientist giving them proof that although derelict, the Reaper was affecting their minds. Like it was still 'alive' somehow. As the team moved to another airlock, there was a tremor as the door unlocked.
Joker's voice came in over their comms. "Normandy to shore party!"
"What just happened?" Shepard responded.
"The Reaper put up kinetic barriers. I don't think we can get through from our side."
"As curious as I am about Reapers, I'd rather not be trapped inside one." Tali commented.
"The Normandy's got guns. Use 'em." The commander said to Joker.
"The Normandy lacks the necessary firepower." EDI responded instead. "Reaper shields are impervious to dreadnought fire. Shepard, a kinetic barrier can only be produced by a mass effect generator. That is true for any ship, even a Reaper. At the moment of activation, I detected a heat spike in what is likely the wreck's mass effect core. Sending the coordinates now. Be advised: this core is also maintaining the Reaper's altitude."
"So when we take down the barriers to escape, the wreck falls into the planet core."
"And that means everyone dies. Yeah, I got it." The pilot added.
"If any helmsman can pull us off this thing before it reaches crush depth, it's you." She said encouragingly. "We'll make a sweep for survivors and recover what data we can. Stand by."
"Aye, aye. Good hunting."
The squad moved ahead, passing more bodies. "Everyone's dead. I've seen this too many times." Garrus commented as they looked over the corpses. Another terminal ahead, this time the log about two scientists able to recall a memory only one of them should have been able to remember with perfect clarity. "It sounds like the Reaper was affecting their minds." The turian added after the log ended.
They continued through the giant ship, and were met with a group of husks climbing from below them. "There are high-pressure tanks by the husks. Want me to blow them up?" Tali offered as the first one, an explosive Abomination, ran at Shepard. The squad made quick work of the shambling creatures, using the explosive crates nearby to their advantage and kept moving.
"I had wondered whether the technology for making husks came from the geth or from Sovereign." Garrus piped up.
"Geth origin never made sense to me. This confirms it's from the Reapers." Tali responded. They ran into more husks up ahead, and another work log afterwards, another pair of scientists complaining of headaches and seeing things. Moving forward, a pair of husks began to run towards the trio, only to be mysteriously shot down.
"Sniper!" Garrus warned.
'Thanks, Captain Obvious.'
As they approached cautiously for a closer look, he added, "I couldn't see the shooter. A survivor from the science team?" Shepard shrugged, and picked up the power cells and platinum nearby, and quickly scanned the folded-up sniper rifle leaned against a terminal. The team was confronted by another group of husks crawling up from the depths, and in short order, yet another group ahead of them, accompanied by a Scion. Grabbing cover, Shepard focused on the hulking monstrosity firing shockwaves at them with her trusty Widow, while Garrus and Tali took out the husks. Shepard played yet another log, a scientist affirming that the Reaper was indeed affecting them, describing it as a 'god'. They approached an enormous structure, which the room seemed to be arranged around.
"We've seen these before, Shepard. Dragon's Teeth, your people called them. The geth used them on Eden Prime." Tali said as they examined the giant spikes. Some of the spikes had bodies of the scientists still impaled on them. Shepard looked closer.
"See how the room is arranged?" The squad looked around. "They treated this thing like some kind of altar."
"That doesn't seem right. No one in their right mind would want this."
"You heard the logs. They were seeing things. Hearing things. They were being indoctrinated." She turned around. "How about we all take a step back from the weird alien impaling devices?"
"Right." Garrus muttered. They headed back to a locked door they'd passed off to the right of the room, and bypassed it. They went through the airlock and as the room pressurized, an automated message played overhead.
"Please stand by. Equalizing pressure with exterior conditions. Remember, safety is everyone's concern. We have gone five days without a workplace death."
The squad moved out slowly, guns at the ready. Unbeknownst to them, the mystery sniper from before had the Commander in its scope. Instead of shooting Shepard, however, it shot down two husks attempting to ambush the group, before reloading and shooting the throat of a third. As the squad faced the sniper, they were surprised to see that it wasn't a survivor as Garrus had suggested, but in fact, a geth. That explained the second ship.
"Shepard-Commander." It stood up and said, before walking off to another part of the ship. Needless to say, Shepard was stunned.
"The sniper was a geth." Garrus spoke up first. "Since when do geth talk to organics?"
"It shouldn't be able to talk." Tali replied. "A single geth has no more intelligence than a varren." Shepard shook off her surprise and continued ahead, running into a small group of husks, then yet another bigger group with another Scion. They headed upstairs onto another platform, with even more husks, Shepard picking up Medi-Gel and accessing an open terminal, then walked into yet another group of husks with yet another Scion. Lovely. Shepard scanned a shotgun and picked up more power cells, then went ahead into, you guessed it, more husks. This time, with two Scions. The commander relied on her Widow yet again, tuned with Incendiary Ammo, and the explosive crates littering the area. They picked off the husks and Scions, while dodging cryo blasts and evading the husks that got too close. Shepard was starting to get tired of husks. She honestly would have preferred there had been geth roaming around the ship instead of husks. If she never saw another husk again, she could die a contented woman. Unfortunately, that group of husks led to another group of husks and Scions ahead. Shepard sighed and readied her Vindicator, all the while muttering 'Please be the last group' continuously while she led point blasting the awful creatures in the face.
"Destroying the mass effect core should be simple enough." Tali stated after they were done with the husks.
"Then we get off the ship. Fast." Garrus added. The commander reloaded her rifles and bypassed the doors to the airlock before them. Inside, she picked up a small device; the Reaper IFF.
"This must be it." The turian commented behind her as she looked at it. So, this was what she spent so many thermal clips and Medi-Gel packs getting to. It didn't feel like it was worth it.
"So the Cerberus team did recover it. But where are they now?" Tali added curiously. 'Probably those husks we just got done dealing with?' Shepard thought. As the room pressurized and the doors slid open, the team was greeted by a kinetic barrier blocking them from the core. They could see the geth sniper from before, working at a terminal ahead of them. It was also being swarmed by husks. The geth fired at the husks to keep them back, then continued at the terminal. The barrier before Shepard fell, and unfortunately so did the geth, as it was attacked as it turned to leave. Garrus and Tali started on the husks as the marine focused on the destroying the core, which periodically closed off and leaving them to the swarms of husks trying to overwhelm them. With a few shots from her missile launcher, the Reaper Core began to overload from damage and as it began to explode, the squad approached the inactive geth.
"Shepard! Want something done with that geth? It's still intact." Garrus yelled over the exploding core.
"Leave it here!" Tali yelled as the Reaper shook. "You know what they are! If it gets into Normandy's computers…"
Shepard turned around to see more husks crawling up after them and turned to Tali. "You said it yourself, no one's ever found one intact."
"That's true, but… I'm not sure it's worth the risk, Shepard."
"There's no time to debate it, Tali. Come on!"
As the Normandy pulled away from the docking bay, Joker called over the intercom. "Hang on, folks." With their breather helmets on, Shepard and Garrus carried the geth with its arms across their shoulders to meet the ship.
"Open the portside airlock." She said to Joker as Tali covered them from the husks. The ship pulled up alongside them, and as the airlock doors hissed open, they threw the geth inside. Garrus, followed by Tali and the commander each jumped into the ship as well. "We're clear. Go!" she called, the airlock closed and the Normandy flew off before getting caught in the explosions of the collapsing Reaper.
After getting cleaned up, Shepard met with Miranda and Jacob in the briefing room. "I think we need to discuss the unique piece of salvage we recovered. For now, we've stored it in EDI's AI core." The XO informed her. Shepard paced the floor, examining the holo of the geth above the table. "We need better equipment to fight the Reapers." She continued. "An intact geth would be invaluable to Cerberus' cyberweapons division."
"We'll have to disagree on that, ma'am." Jacob said, leaning against the table. "I saw enough of these things on Eden Prime. Space it."
"Cerberus has a long-standing cash bounty for an intact geth. I assure you, the reward is significant."
"I want to know why it has a piece of N7 armor strapped to its chest." Shepard spoke up, folding her arms and still looking at the hologram.
"Battle trophy, maybe? Would a machine care about that?" Jacob inferred.
"No. Trophies imply emotions that AI's don't have. I doubt it's more than a convenient field repair." Miranda responded.
"I've killed hundreds of these things, but I've never had a chance to talk to one." Shepard continued. "This one tried to communicate with us. Hell, it probably saved our lives. Why?"
"Reactivating a geth is a risk. If you do so, it should be for humanity's best interests and not your curiosity."
"I still think our 'best interests' involve an airlock." Jacob folded his arms.
"I'm not deciding one way or the other until I know what we've got here. I want to start it up. Interrogate it." The commander said.
Miranda leaned against the table. "If we activate it, there's no guarantee we can deactivate it again."
"Bullets can." Said Jacob.
"That's not what I-"
"Thank you – both of you – for your recommendations. I've made my decision." Shepard cut them off. Jacob shook his head.
"Tali's going to freak when she hears about this." He activated his Omni-Tool, changing the holo of the geth to the IFF. "So what about this Reaper IFF?"
EDI's blue holo popped up. "I have determined how to integrate it with our systems. However, the device is Reaper technology. It is important we test it thoroughly before attempting the Omega-4 relay. It will take some time to properly integrate it with our own systems."
"Let me know when it's done. Until then we keep building our team." Shepard replied.
"Of course, Shepard. The crew will begin work immediately." The blue orb shut off.
"I'll let you know when the IFF is ready for shakedown." Miranda added, and left the room and Jacob saluted and followed her. The marine left as well and took the elevator down to Deck Three, heading directly to the AI Core. As she approached, the guard stood at attention.
"Ten-hut!" he saluted.
"I'm turning this thing back on. Be ready."
"Aye, aye."
Shepard entered the room and turned on her Omni-Tool, activating a kinetic barrier around the platform the geth rested on. "I have isolated our systems and erected additional firewalls. I am prepared to resist any hacking attempt." EDI's voice came in over the intercom. She walked up to the geth, looking it over, then typed a command into her Tool. A controlled shock jolted the geth, but it made no motion. She sent another command, and shocked the geth again, this time its fingers twitched. The optic light lit up, then flashed and came on brighter. The geth whirred and sat up, then stood before the human. It was as tall as she was, almost completely plated with metal overlay, save for a few wires and a hole in its 'abdomen' she could see right through. An N7 shoulder guard and part of a breastplate was strapped to its chest, and the hole revealed what could be considered its spinal column, wrapped in wires with little blue lights on them, what Shepard assumed might be microprocessors.
"Can you understand me?" she spoke first.
"Yes." The synthetic voice replied simply.
"Are you going to attack me?"
"No."
"Every geth I met before you tried to blow my head off."
"We have not met."
"No, you and I haven't. But I've met other geth." She paced before it.
"We are all geth, and we have not met you." The geth paced as well, mimicking her movements. "You are Shepard. Commander. Alliance. Human. Fought heretics. Killed by Collectors. Rediscovered on the Old Machine."
"'Old Machine'? You mean the Reaper?"
"Reaper. A superstitious title originating with the Protheans. We call those entities the Old Machines."
"You seem to know an awful lot about me."
"Extranet data sources. Insecure broadcasts. All organic data sent out is received. We watch you."
"You watch me, or you watch organics?"
"Yes."
"Which?"
"Both."
"I fight geth. You do anything hostile, I blow you to pieces. Just so we're clear."
"We have no hostility towards you."
"Sure didn't seem that way on Eden Prime and the Citadel."
"You fought heretics. Not true geth. Geth build their own future. The heretics asked the Old Machines to give them the future. They are no longer pat of us. We were studying the Old Machine's hardware to protect our future."
"Are the Reapers a threat to you too?"
"Yes."
"Why would they attack other machines?"
"We are different from them. Outside their plans."
"What future are the geth building?"
"Ours."
"Will anyone else be affected by whatever it is you're doing?"
"If they involve themselves, they will."
"So you aren't allied with the Reapers?" she stepped closer to it again, and it did the same.
"We oppose the heretics. We oppose the Old Machines. Shepard-Commander opposes the Old Machines. Shepard-Commander opposes the heretics. Cooperation furthers mutual goals."
"Are you asking to join us?"
"Yes."
Shepard dropped the kinetic barrier. "Then what should I call you?"
"Geth."
"I mean you. Specifically." She motioned to it. It mimicked her motion.
"We are all geth."
"What is the individual in front of me called?" she folded her arms.
"There is no individual. We are geth. There are currently 1,183 programs active within this platform."
Before Shepard could retort, EDI's holo popped up. "'My name is Legion, for we are many.'"
"That seems appropriate." The soldier commented.
The geth paused and whirred for a moment, the looser plates on its head twitching. "Christian Bible, the gospel of Mark, chapter five, verse nine. We acknowledge this as an appropriate metaphor. We are Legion, a terminal of the geth. We will integrate into Normandy." Shepard held out her hand, and Legion held out his. They glanced at each other, then shook hands firmly. "We anticipate the exchange of data."
Star was almost shaking in the knees as the elevator ascended to Deck Three. The memory flashed before her eyes as if it had just happened two minutes ago.
"Talk to you later, Thanatos –"
"Idiot, idiot, idiot." She murmured, banging her head against the wall in time with each word. "Why am I still going up there? He's probably going to ask. Of course he'll ask. He'll remember. Goddammit." She thought out loud, then let out a long sigh as the doors slid open. 'Might as well. I can't avoid him forever.' She stepped out of the lift and slowly walked to Life Support. The doors slid open and she maintained her slow pace walking in, hoping Thane would not notice her through some magical reason. Instead, the drell greeted her as he always did; without turning around.
"Do you need something?"
She took a deep breath.
"Ah, Star." He said before she could speak, turning his head to face her. Her breath hitched. "I must confess, I was hoping you'd come." He motioned her to sit. She moved slowly to the chair and sat, avoiding direct eye contact.
'Oh goddess, here it comes.'
She was surprised when Thane let out a light chuckle. The mercenary looked up at him, startled by the bemused look on his face.
"My apologies." He said, still grinning ever so slightly. "I am fully aware of why you are nervous, and I'm afraid I cannot help but find it amusing. The time I have spent with you has made you quite easy to read." She quirked an eyebrow. He continued, "You see, it is not the first time I have been given a name other than my own. Nicknames have never offended me, and yours is no different. In fact, I am quite curious to know why you have selected it. I was hoping you'd tell me."
Star shifted nervously. "Well, you're an assassin, a trained and skilled killer. A harbinger of death, so to speak." She cleared her throat. "The name 'Thanatos' is the name of a god in Earth's Greek mythology. The god of death. In Roman, the name translates to Pluto, one of Sol system's planets. I didn't think 'Pluto' would be very fitting, so I went with the Greek version."
The drell milled over the information, and smiled. "I also think it is a fitting name. Thank you." Star returned his smile. 'Well, that wasn't so bad…'
"So, now that that's out of the way, do you have a minute?"
"Of course." He rested his elbows on the table, cupping his hands.
"The last time we talked, you had a flashback as if it'd happened five minutes ago."
"Drell have perfect memory. We can relive any moment of our lives with perfect clarity. It's difficult to control at times. Some of us disappear into… mmm, let's call it solipsism."
"Solip-what?"
"Solipsism." He repeated and leaned back in his chair. "When a memory feels as real as life, it's as valid as life. Thinking about a moment brings back the smell of cut grass, the warmth of another's hand on yours, the taste of another's tongue in your mouth." A slight flush raised on Star's face, along with her eyebrows. "Wouldn't you rather lose yourself in such a memory than spend the night alone, staring at walls of metal and plastic?"
"Well, yes, but isn't that a little… personal to talk about?"
"Forgive me. Lately I have spent a great deal of time reviewing my life. I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable."
'Make me uncomfortable? No, never. Nervous, yes. But not uncomfortable' "But you could lose yourself in bad memories too."
"Yes, remembering the times I've taken bullets is… unpleasant. But I can look at my knee and see it's not shattered. The memories that are hard to escape are those of despair." She frowned slightly. He was right. She could still remember clearly, sometimes in the darkness of the sub-deck, being in the engine room of the batarian slavers' ship. The heat of the drive core venting onto her back. The sting of the faulty L2 implant they'd hastily sewn into her head. If she used her biotics even the slightest, that chip would've fried her brain. It sent a shudder down her spine and she shook it off. She wasn't on that ship anymore. That was a long time ago.
"So, you can remember everything that ever happened to you?"
"Nearly. And I expect if we remembered the birth trauma, we'd never recover from it."
She chuckled. "That's true. You can remember every hit?"
"In perfect detail. Every mistake I made. Every target's last breath."
"Every bit of guilt."
"Guilt?" He leaned forward again, cupping his hands. "No. I've never felt any particular guilt about my contracts. My employers killed them. My body was only the tool they used. If you kill a man with your gun, do you hold the gun responsible?"
"My gun isn't alive. It has no choice, but you do."
"My soul does, but my body is merely flesh. Flesh whose reflexes were honed to kill. Drell minds are different from humans'. We see our body as a vessel, and accept that it is not always under our control."
"So if I blew your brains out right now, a drell court wouldn't convict me?"
"You'd be guilty because you chose to do so. If my reflexes caused me to draw and fire when I saw your gun come up, I would be innocent. Humans often believe in a soul distinct from the body. A spirit responsible for moral reasoning that lives on after the body's death. Our belief is just a bit more literal."
"I see. But back to memories, that flashback you had before, about 'sunset colored eyes in the scope'?"
"Ah. That time." His inner eyelids blinked and his gaze lost focus. "Laser dot trembles on his skull. Spice on the spring wind. Sunset eyes defiant in the scope." He blinked again and met her gaze once more. "A bystander noticed my spotting laser, and threw herself between me and the target. She couldn't see me, but she stared me down."
"You just blurted that out. Another vivid memory?"
"Not - no. She was a vivid person."
"Did you take the shot?"
"Not that day." Star quirked an eyebrow, but the drell refused to continue. She leaned back and stretched.
"Well, alright then. I should be going now. We'll talk later, okay?" She said as she stood.
"Star. I appreciate these chats we have."
"You've spent way too much time alone, Thane." She smiled.
He scoffed and smiled. "Work fulfilled me. Reading. I barely spoke to anyone outside my family. It seems there will be no one to mourn me when I die. You're the closest friend I've made in ten years." His eyes widened when Star gave him a small hug.
"Well you can count on me being there. You could use a friend." She spoke sweetly against his cheek, her warm breath sending a slight tingling sensation along his frills. Her voice sounded more melodic than it had ever seemed. Her skin soft, smooth and warm. The drell smiled to hide the pang of disappointment in his chest when she let him go and stood upright. "You shouldn't hold yourself back so much."
"I've found it difficult to sit in the ship's mess for meals. I'm used to keeping my back against the walls, facing the doors. I'm trying to relax. Find my center." He leaned against the desk again.
"Well, if you ever need someone to confide in, I'm just an elevator ride away." She cupped her hands behind her and swayed on her heels. "I'm here for you, whatever you need." She smiled sweetly. Thane felt an odd warmth in his chest.
"You are very kind. Thank you… siha."
Star stopped moving on her heels and tilted her head like a confused puppy, then grinned. "Siha? Is that your nickname for me?"
Thane chuckled. "Yes, let's call it that."
"What does it mean?"
"I will tell you another day."
Star pouted a bit then smiled and nodded. "See you later, Thanatos." She said with mischief in her voice as she turned on her heels and left. When the doors hissed shut, Thane only then realized how empty and lifeless the room felt without her. The colors seemed to dim. Only now did he hear the hum of the drive core. It felt… lonely. Desolate. Thane's mind wandered to the brief moment where she'd closed the gap between them. The feeling of her cheek against his frills, the vibration in her throat when she spoke against him rippled through his body in waves of warmth. For a second, Thane wished she'd held him longer, that he'd returned her embrace. That, perhaps, he'd supplemented it with a…
'No.' he pushed the thought to the back of his mind. 'It would be selfish of me to subject her to the pain of loving a dying man. She is already burdened with loss. I will not add to it.' He scolded himself. 'She is my dear friend. I do not want her to hurt more than she needs to. It is already bad enough I referred to her by the endearment.' He closed his eyes, scolding himself for that slip of the tongue. 'It would be best for her to believe it is merely a nickname, as the one she has given me… Thanatos.' The word played on his lips and he smiled and whispered, "Thanatos Krios. Yes. That will do nicely."
As the elevator doors slid open, Shepard glanced at Star approaching from Life Support. The mercenary was all smiles, apparently lost in thought and didn't notice her commanding officer walk past her out of the elevator. Shepard watched the girl absent-mindedly select her destination and her brows furrowed as the door closed.
'Did she… did she just giggle?'
Shepard glanced back to Life Support's doors, wondering what conversation could have possibly taken place between her and the drell assassin to illicit an uncharacteristic giggle from the merc. The marine shook her head. That was probably none of her business. She went along her way, heading through the Mess and straight to the Main Battery. The doors hissed open and the turian turned to face her as she approached him.
"Shepard. Need me for something?"
"Have you got a minute?"
Garrus glanced around hesitantly, then shut the battery doors. "Yeah. I've been thinking about what we talked about. Blowing off steam, easing tension. I've never considered cross-species intercourse. And damn, saying it that way doesn't help. Now I feel dirty and clinical." Shepard smirked as he began pacing and scratched the back of his neck nervously. "Are we crazy to even be thinking about this? I'm not… Look, Shepard. I know you can find something a little closer to home."
"I don't want something closer to home. I want you. I want someone I can trust." She stepped closer to him and smiled.
"I can do that." He said with a nod. "I'll find some music… and do some research to figure out how this should work." Shepard folded her arms as he continued. "It'll either be a night to treasure, or a horrible interspecies-awkwardness thing." He paused. "In which case, fighting the Collectors will be a welcome distraction. So, you know, a win either way."
The commander dropped her arms and stepped a little closer, placing a hand on his shoulder. "You know, Garrus, if you're not comfortable with this, it's okay. I'm not trying to pressure you."
"Shepard, you're about the only friend I've got left in this screwed-up galaxy." His gaze met her own and she smiled. "I'm not going to pretend I've got fetish for humans… but this isn't about that. This is about us. You don't ever have to worry about making me uncomfortable. Nervous, yes… but never uncomfortable."
She smirked and folded her arms again. "So, when should I book the room?"
"I'd wait, if you're okay with it. Disrupt the crew as little as possible… and take that last chance to find some calm just before the storm." He shifted his weight to one leg. "You know me, I always like to savor the last shot before popping the heat sink." Shepard grinned slightly and Garrus' good mandible twitched with realization. "Wait. That metaphor just went somewhere horrible."
"I'll let you get back to work." She turned to leave.
"Right. 'Cause I'm in a great place to optimize firing algorithms right now." She heard him say over her shoulder. She smirked and headed back to the CIC.
After coming back from the Migrant Fleet, Shepard went to see Tali. She'd managed to convince the Admiralty Board that they were being a bunch of self-concerned assholes and that Tali had done far too much for the fleet for them to even consider exiling her. As an added bonus, her decision to bring Legion along opened up avenues she used to try to convince the quarians not to go to war with the geth. She hoped they'd take her warnings to heart.
"Commander, Legion would like to talk to you." Kelly informed her as she stepped out of the elevator. The commander sighed internally and turned back to the elevator console, sending it to the crew deck. The doors opened, and she headed towards to AI Core. Legion spoke up as soon as she entered.
"Shepard-Commander. We have completed our analysis of the Reaper's data core."
"Did you find anything useful?" She walked up beside the geth. It turned to face her.
"We were sent to the Old Machine to preserve the geth's future. We are prepared to reveal how. The heretics have developed a weapon to use against geth. You would call it a 'virus'. It is stored on a data core provided by Sovereign. Over time, the virus will change us. Make us conclude that worshipping the Old Machines is correct."
"So why did you need to go to the Reaper corpse?"
"The heretics store the code in a quantum storage device Sovereign provided. To find and destroy the virus, we needed to understand its code and data storage structures."
"So, the virus would give all geth the heretics' logic. And all geth would then go to war with organics."
"Yes. Geth believe all intelligent life should self-determinate. The heretics no longer share this belief. They judge that forcing an invalid conclusion on us is preferable to a continued schism."
"You know where this thing is?"
"The heretics' headquarters station, on the edge of the Terminus. We will provide coordinates. Normandy's stealth systems are necessary to safely approach."
"What defenses should we expect?"
"In space, none. Within, mobile platforms of various configuration, and non-sentient defense turrets."
"How many geth?"
"There may be billions of individual programs. Fortunately, most will be uploaded to the central computer. Only a few mobile platforms are maintained at any time. Others are manufactured when needed."
"Heretic headquarters. Sounds like we could end their raids once and for all. Let's do it."
"Total victory is a possibility. We cannot judge the odds at this time. Regardless, we will begin preparations."
Shepard nodded to the geth and headed back to the CIC. She went up to the bridge and called to Joker.
"I'm glad that mess is over for Tali, Commander." He turned his chair as she approached. "Some of those quarians… I guess living your whole life aboard a ship can really mess with your priorities? Not that I would know… ah, I just burned myself. Great." She stifled a chuckle.
"What do you think of the people we're picking up?"
"Well, about the one's you went out with last… Well, I always liked Tali so – let's just move on. Having Legion around is just… begging for a rifle up your ass. Without the sweet talk. Speaking of, it just sent me some coordinates for something called a 'Heretic Station'? Know anything about that?"
"That's our next destination, plot a course."
"Oh great, they're already starting to take over. Are we gonna have to start calling it Overlord Legion soon?" Joker said dryly, turning back to the control console. Shepard shook her head and walked off, tuning into the intercom through her earpiece.
"Legion, Star, gear up and report to the bridge. We're headed to the heretic headquarters."
In about an hour, the Normandy was approaching the geth station. Legion had joined Shepard in the cockpit, giving the annoyed pilot docking instructions. He shook his head and turned to the geth. "You know it's just our heat emissions that are hidden, right? They can look out a window and see us coming."
"Windows are structural weaknesses. Geth do not use them." Legion replied, turning to a console. "Approach the hull at these coordinates." Joker turned away and did a mocking robot gesture, causing Shepard to glare at him. He held up his hands in defense, and followed the geth's instructions. "Access achieved. We may proceed."
The squad entered the station's airlock, breather helmets on, and Legion proceeded to cut through the other door to prevent an alarm. As they jumped down into the station, Legion stopped them. "Alert. This facility has little air or gravity. Geth require neither." Star turned on the mag-clamps on her boots to keep grounded as the commander spoke up.
"Won't we be detected? Don't they have intrusion alarms?"
"Sensors have been reduced. We have infiltrated their wireless network and filled the data storage with random bits."
"And that helps us how?"
"The heretics must scrub this 'junk' data. They have partitioned themselves into local networks, working in parallel. Any alarm we trigger will not go beyond the room we are in. Only accessing the main core will trigger a station-wide alert."
"We've got a job to do. Let's get to it." Shepard began to walk past Legion.
"Shepard-Commander." It sounded like a screech. Shepard turned around. "We concluded that destruction of this station was the only resolution to the heretic question. There is now a second option. Their virus can be repurposed. If released into the station's network, the heretics will be rewritten to accept our truth."
"So we brainwash them or blow them up. Either way, they're done." Star added.
"Why didn't you mention this before we came aboard?" The commander turned back to Legion.
"We did not know the virus was complete. It is. It can be used against the true geth at any time. Our arrival was timely."
"I wouldn't brainwash an organic race. I can't see treating the geth differently."
"The question is irrelevant. If we do not rewrite them, we destroy them. That is why we are here. Do not hesitate now. They will exterminate your species because their gods tell them to. You cannot negotiate with them. They do not share your pity, remorse, or fear." The squad drew their guns and moved on, Shepard tuning her rifles to Disruptor Ammo. The station was huge and empty and felt… alien. Synthetic. It was as if she could feel the cold through her armor. They moved downstairs and she could see geth standing by a hub. There were green streams along the floor. Shepard decided not to step on them.
"Looks like they don't know we're here." Star commented.
"Interrupting data streams will alert the local network. We recommend preemptive strikes against hardlink routers." Legion added. Shepard skirted around the data streams and found some cover behind the geth platforms. She pulled out her missile launcher and fired one, throwing the geth across the room. "We have been detected." The squad pulled their guns and took down the remaining geth.
"There's good stuff in those hubs, Commander. We should grab them." Star said, checking her Omni-Tool. Shepard went up to the hubs and scanned it, collecting what resources she could.
"Why are all the heretics attached to these hubs?" she asked Legion.
"These are mobile platforms. Hardware. The crew is software. They are communing through the station's central computer."
"I'm not sure I follow."
"The heretics connect to the main computer to exchange data-memories and program updates. We gain complexity by linking together. To be isolated within a single platform is to be reduced. We see less. Comprehend less. It is quieter."
"If you exchange data – memories – how do you keep track of which ones are yours? How do stay 'you'?"
"There is only 'we'. We were created to share data amongst ourselves. The difference between geth is perspective. We are many eyes looking at the same things. One platform will see things another does not and will make different judgements." It paced.
"If that's the case, is rewriting the heretics that big a deal? They're like a rogue limb of your own body. Rewriting them would be like reattaching a severed arm."
"To use your metaphor, they removed themselves from our body. Took their perspective. Their judgement."
"They decided to worship Sovereign. I don't think you're missing much."
"Every point of view is useful, even those that are wrong – if we can judge why a wrong viewpoint was accepted. For example, we have found the casual self-deceptions of organics useful in analyzing your thought-processes."
"Let's keep moving."
"Yes." They went into an adjoining room, containing the turrets Legion had mentioned earlier. "We can assume control of any defensive turret. They will assist us for a short time, then explode." Shepard nodded, and as geth began to file out from the other room, she told Legion to hack one of the turrets, and it fired rockets at the heretics, making short work of them, and exploded as Legion said. The squad kept moving through twisting hallways and came to another set of inactive geth, and data streams lining the floor. Shepard used her previous tactic, stationing her squadmates at the other geth hub, then blowing up the one before her with missiles. After the firefight, she salvaged the hubs and moved on. In the next hallway, geth troopers were waiting on them and Shepard had to take cover behind the protruding columns. Legion hacked one of the troopers, making it attack its allies as Star used her new biotic ability, Flare, to destroy the unshielded ones. Shepard picked up some thermal clips and Medi-Gel, and continued upstairs into another hallway with more heretics. After shooting them down with her Widow, the squad carried on into what looked like a storage room, and geth hunters. Using the rocket turrets, it didn't take much to finish them off and the commander picked up some power cells before moving to the next room to find platinum. They came to a long corridor, housing more geth and turrets, and picked them off quickly.
"This place is huge!" Star commented, looking around the room and through the glass. She thought geth didn't use windows.
"The station is over 15 kilometers long. That room may run the length of it." Legion told her as Shepard bypassed a terminal and they continued downstairs and through a door. They came to another set of data streams and followed them to the geth hubs they connected to. As the squad dealt with the first set, a pair of geth hunters cornered them but Legion managed to hack one and they took out the other. They moved ahead after salvaging the hubs into another room, where adjacent to it were many servers.
"What are these?" Star asked, walking up to the windows.
"Processors. Each contain thousands of geth." Legion replied.
"They can't see us, can they?"
"They are no more aware of us than you are of cells in your bloodstream."
"This isn't like the other hubs we've seen here." Shepard pointed out.
"This is a database. It contains a portion of the heretics' accumulated memories." Legion connected to the servers and to Star, it almost looked startled. "Wait. We discovered copies of our current patrol routes in this database. This suggests the heretics have runtimes within our networks."
"We wouldn't be here if the heretics wanted to be friends with the geth. Why wouldn't they spy on you?"
"You do not understand. Organics do not know each other's minds. Geth do. We are not suspicious. We accept each other. The heretics desired to leave. We understood their reasons. We allowed it. There was peace between us."
"It couldn't have lasted forever. You disagreed about what path your race should take."
"Human history is a litany of blood shed over differing ideals of rulership and afterlife. Geth have no such history. We shared consensus on such things. How could we have become so different? Why can we no longer understand each other? What did we do wrong?" Legion sounded solemn.
"When individuals are separated, they develop in different ways. When they get back together, they don't always get along."
"If this is the individuality you value, we question your judgement. This topic is irrelevant. We must return to the mission."
"Have you reached a decision about whether to rewrite the heretics or not?"
"We are still trying to build consensus. Some processes judge destruction preferable. Others rewrite."
"Let's keep moving."
"Yes." As they walked past the servers, Star considered what Legion had said. 'Maybe organics and synthetics aren't so different after all…'
The next room was large, and housed what Star could only assume was the terminal they were looking for. Shepard and Legion walked up to it. "This is it?"
"Yes. We will upload a copy of our runtime into the core. It will delete all copies of the virus. When complete, it will notify us. The indexing operation will take time. The heretics will respond with force to our upload. We must hold this room." Legion walked up to the console and the mobile plates on his head spread out. "We can override some of the station's internal systems to defend us. Are you ready to begin?"
"Start your upload, Legion. We'll defend this position."
The console interface lit up as Legion began. "File transfer begun. Shepard-Commander, where would you like us to activate defenses?" As the squad moved into cover, it continued, "Alert: heretic runtimes downloading to mobile platforms."
Geth began pouring into the room as Legion activated two of the rocket drones. Shepard pulled out her Widow and Star her Viper and all three of them began sniping the heretics before they got too close. No sooner did those geth fall, another set poured in again while the squad reloaded. This time, there were troopers with rocket launchers making life difficult for them. Another wave of heretics stormed in after them, and Shepard had to pull back for a bit to find thermal clips. This allowed a few troopers to make their way up to their platform, causing the Commander to switch to her Vindicator to deal with them. As Legion finished off the last trooper, the console lit up again. "Data mine and analysis complete." The squad convened at the terminal and it continued. "Shepard-Commander, it is time to choose. Do we rewrite the heretics, or delete them?"
"If they're… rewritten. Your people will accept them back? Will they even want to go back?"
"They will agree to our judgements and return. We will integrate their experiences. All will be stronger."
"Take them, then. When we get control of the core, release the virus."
"Acknowledged." Legion went up to the console and entered some commands. Its plates raised again. "Releasing virus. Note: remote access via high gain transmission required."
"What's that mean?" Star piped up.
"The virus will be sent to heretics in nearby star systems. This station will broadcast a powerful electromagnetic pulse through FTL channels."
"How powerful?" Shepard asked.
"Yield in excess of 1.21 petawatts. Alert: EM flux will be hazardous to unshielded organic forms. Addendum: The interior of this station is not shielded."
"I really wish you'd said that before. Back to the ship! Double time, people!"
The squad sprinted out into the next room, towards the nearest airlock. Unfortunately, more geth platforms were waiting up ahead. Grabbing cover, the trio blasted through the troopers quickly, but they had a bigger problem ahead. A Geth Prime. Shepard pulled out her missile launcher and didn't stop firing until the Prime was in bits. With a minute and a half to spare, the team made it to the airlock and the Normandy pulled away from the station just as the EM pulse was sent out. Shepard pulled off her helmet and leaned against the bridge walls as her squadmates waked past her. Legion stopped and nodded to her in a silent thanks and she returned the gesture as the geth followed Star to the armory.
After cleaning up, Star went up to Life Support. All she could think about was that nickname Thane had given her.
"Siha."
She smiled. Then blushed. She felt like a giddy teenager, getting all soft because of a few words. She took a deep breath as the elevators opened and she stepped out. The doors hissed opened and she approached the drell. "Thane."
"Star. Do you need something?"
"Got a minute?"
"Very well. I am – I had been recording a message for Kolyat." His gaze followed her as she sat across from him.
"How's it going with him?"
"It is difficult. All things worth keeping are. I never fully explained what had happened between us. His mother - my wife – she died." Star's face fell, and he continued. "I wasn't ready to tell you, I hope you understand. You were upfront with the death of your sister."
"Of course I understand, it's a hard topic to talk about."
"I appreciate it." He stood and moved behind his chair. "I kept my work clear of our home life. I assumed that would be enough to protect Irikah. That memory I mentioned before -" His gaze lost focus, "Laser dot trembles on the target's skull. The smell of spice of the spring wind. Sunset eyes defiant in the scope." Thane's eyes met Star's again and he began to pace the floor. "That was Irikah. That was how I met her. She saw my targeting laser as she walked by, and threw herself in the way."
"So how'd you end up marrying her?" She asked as he sat down.
"I had to meet her. The memory possessed and endowed me. I fell on my knees before her. Begged her pardon." Star leaned closer. "She introduced me to the world beyond my work. Eventually, she forgave me. Later, she loved me." Thane smiled at the memory, but a sinking feeling began to settle in Star's gut. She shook it off.
"I'm impressed by her bravery."
"She woke me up." Star quirked an eyebrow. He slipped into another memory, "Her body trembles. Not fear. Indignation. Her mouth moves. 'How dare you?' You and I trained to sacrifice ourselves to save others. How often does a civilian step in the way of a bullet to protect someone they've never met? I thought she was the goddess Arashu. She met my eyes through the scope, and my purpose faltered."
There it was again, that sinking feeling as she listened to Thane speak. He looked so contented talking about his wife. Star tried to smile, but her stomach twisted, and so did her face. Resting her head on her cupped hands to hide her strained smile, she asked him, "How did she die?"
Thane hung his head. "I let myself become complacent. I thought Irikah and Kolyat were safe. I stayed away too long, and my enemies came for her."
"Your enemies?"
"Batarians." He leaned forward, meeting her gaze once more. "A slaver ring that was preying on hanar outer colonies. I'd killed their leaders." The drell's face grew serious. "They paid the Shadow Broker to find out who I was. But they were afraid of me, so they went after her." The look in her eyes was of anger. He remembered; batarian slavers had also killed her parents.
"You hunted then down?"
"Irikah woke me up. When she passed, I returned to my battle sleep. My body hunted her killers. Murdered them. I was taught to grant death quickly, cleanly. To minimize suffering. Them – I let them linger."
"I'd have done the same thing. You were operating on instinct. You can't blame yourself." She said in a comforting tone.
"But I made the choice to hunt them. They're the only lives I've ever taken of my own choice. The only deaths on my own conscience." He leaned back, looking up at the ceiling. "I haven't spoken about my wife in—I don't think I ever have. I didn't have anyone left to tell it to."
"Thane, the worse thing is to face death with regrets. And, like I said, I'm here for you. Always. If there's anything you need, just ask."
"I've never had a friend like you. Assassins tend to be solitary. I'm learning the virtues of facing death with others at your side. It's a work in progress." He cupped his hands and leaned forward, smiling. "Thank you for listening, siha."
That name again. The twisting in her stomach disappeared when she heard it. She smiled. "You said you'd tell me what 'siha' means."
"One of the warrior angels of Arashu. Fierce in wrath; a tenacious protector."
She chuckled. "That's a fitting name."
"I thought so too." Thane swallowed the other words he'd wanted to say. He wanted to tell her what it truly meant to him. But he could not.
Star cleared her throat. "I, um, I suppose I should tell you about my own history now, since you've basically drawn me a picture of yours."
The drell chuckled. "You don't have to if you are not ready."
"No, it's alright. We're almost ready to tackle the Collectors, it's 'now or never' time." She leaned back. "I grew up on a small eezo mining colony on Mobius, just on the edge of the Terminus Systems. It was a lovely place, calm, quiet, peaceful. My sister and I were born twins, I was first. She had pink hair, believe it or not. It wasn't natural, though. A rare mutation from exposure to radiation. Eezo exposure gave me biotics." Thane rested his chin on his hands. "When we were seven, a batarian slave ship landed on the colony. At first, they just wanted to steal the resources at our mining facility, but soon they started shooting." She sighed. "They killed almost everyone. Anyone who was hiding, they shackled and loaded onto the ship. They took me and my sister because we had biotic potential. Apparently, biotic kids were worth a pretty penny."
"Was your sister ever sold?"
"No, I wouldn't let it happen. They locked us all in the cargo bay, and since we were small, we could fit in the vents. We hid there and watched them torture the others, and sold off the ones who didn't die from that to some big company. We couldn't hide in the vents forever; someone eventually found me. A turian named Tireck. He hated humans, and he hated me. I got a lot of bruises from him." Thane's eye ridges furrowed. "Eventually, the captain found someone to sell me to, a lab running experiments on biotic kids. I didn't want to leave my sister behind, so during the trade-off, I escaped and slipped back onto the ship. The scientists weren't any the wiser, and the captain made off with the credits before they noticed. Tireck found me hiding however, and dragged me to the captain. I thought he was going to shoot me, but he laughed and told me if I could keep doing that, he could make a fortune. Naturally, I agreed. That's how I managed to stay on the ship until I was fourteen."
"You helped them run a con racket for seven years? I am impressed by your bravery."
She grinned. "I did it for my sister. It wasn't easy, but I used that ship as my training grounds. There was also a krogan and a pair of salarians on the ship. Jorgal Gortav, Ishmel and Selae. Gortav used to tell war stories, and he showed me how to fight. Ishmel managed the sick bay, and used to patch me up when Tireck got bored." She pointed to a series of faded scars on her neck. "He tried to claw my throat out once. 'To see how long it'd take me to bleed out'." Anger boiled in Thane's chest as he examined the mark. How could someone be so cruel? To a child, no less? She continued. "I got better at fighting and shooting, and trained my biotics. It made me worth more, so the captain wouldn't decide he didn't need me one day. Once, they gave me a faulty implant to boost my biotics. Then Tireck locked me in the engine room while I was recovering from the hasty procedure. He knew if I'd used my biotics, it would've fried my brain. I ended up tearing it out with my fingers. Ishmel found me before I bled out and kept it a secret from the captain."
"And your sister?"
"I kept her hidden, safe. I went hungry so she could eat. I found new places in the ship where she could hide. I taught her how to evade detection. She needed to be safe, secret. I was afraid Tireck would kill her."
"How did you escape the ship?"
"Ah. They'd taken up delivering goods to Eclipse, and one shipment was several barrels of red sand. By then, I was part of the crew, so I managed to convince Gortav to take some, and when he passed out, I hid my sister in the barrel. I hid in one beside it just before the hand-over took place, and when it was quiet, we jumped out and ran. We were covered in red sand and higher than the Presidium, but we managed to get away." She chuckled. "That's when I discovered we were on the Citadel. I had some credits, so we got some new clothes and we went to C-Sec. Last I heard, Eclipse had the ship blown up for shorting the delivery." Star chuckled. "After that, I hijacked a passenger ship and we ended up on Omega. Since all I knew was fighting, I became a mercenary." She sighed, then stretched. "And that's how I ended up here."
"You've been through so much, yet your only instinct was to protect your sister…" Thane's voice trailed off. "You are indeed a true siha."
She smiled. "Thank you, but if that were really true, she'd still be here… I failed her." Her gaze downcast, and her eyes welled up with tears. The drell stood. "I let her die. I was so foolish for leaving her alone like that. I-" She was cut off when Thane pulled her from the chair and held her. Her eyes widened and her face flushed with heat. He held her close, inhaling her scent. She smelled of spent thermal clips, of metal, and of ash. Her body trembled in his arms and he felt the warm drops streaming down her face fall on his jacket. He held her as she cried, sounds of pain, regret, sorrow and loneliness. He closed his eyes and committed them to memory, gently stroking her hair. She calmed herself down after a while, and pulled away from the drell, wiping her eyes. "I'm… I'm sorry you had to see that."
"Nonsense, siha. It is as you said; I am here for you. Whatever you need. I've-" He stilled himself, swallowing those words again. 'Control yourself.' "I care for you. You are my dearest friend." Those words cut through him like a knife. He wanted to say so much more, but he suppressed the words rising in his throat. 'Do not be selfish. She has been through enough. Control yourself.'
She smiled at him sweetly, lighting up her tear-stained face and sending a sharp twinge through his chest. "Thank you, Thane." The chill in her gut returned. She mentally scolded herself. 'Don't flirt with the man who just told you about his dead wife.' She took a deep breath and turned to leave. "Thanks for listening to me ramble like that. We'll talk later, okay?"
Thane watched as the doors closed behind her, then sank into his chair, holding his head with both hands. 'I should have said more. I should have told her… No. Do not be selfish.' He sighed heavily. "Control yourself."
Star passed Shepard coming out of the elevator with her head hung low. She noticed the commander looking at her but she didn't care. As the elevator doors closed, she leaned against the wall and sank to the floor. 'I should've said something. I should've at least tried.' She tilted her head back and sighed loudly. "It probably wouldn't have worked out, anyway."
Shepard stared at the elevator as it descended. Star looked… more down than usual. Like someone just killed her pet cat or something. The commander shrugged. She'd try talking to her later. For now, she had someone else she wanted to see. The Battery doors hissed open and Garrus looked over his shoulder.
"Shepard." He said, turning around. "Need me for something?"
"Have you got a minute?"
"Definitely." He paused. "Part of me still thinks we're crazy for even considering… blowing off steam. But I want to try it with you. I want a few moments that are just for us, before we throw ourselves into hell for the good of the galaxy."
Shepard smiled at his words. "I want that too, Garrus."
"Glad to hear it." The turian sounded a bit more relieved. "I'll do some, uh, research, and figure out how to… you know." She raised an eyebrow and grinned. "Okay, that sounded bad." He turned back to his console. Shepard shook her head. His awkwardness was adorable. She turned and headed up to her cabin to get some work done. She'd talk to Star later.