**Warning** This hasn't been edited so I'm really sorry if there's any mistakes. If you see a giant error in this, feel free to PM me. Thanks everyone! I just couldn't leave you guys hanging for long!

Chapter 29

His hand is warm in mine. While I watch him sleep, his eyelids fluttering as he remains deep in a dream, my heart breaks for him. His injuries aren't as bad as I had imagined, but still … With a comminuted fracture in his tibia, he'll need surgery soon. Soon, but not yet. With his amount of swelling, surgery will have to wait. Staring down at his external fixator, tears prick my eyes. I want to be strong for him, I want to suppress them, but I can't.

He's not even awake … Why are you holding yourself together? Let it go … let yourself fall to pieces. Do it while he's asleep. Then, you can be the strength he needs.

Slowly, the tears begin to fall and then they come all at once. I can't control them; I don't want to. I need this release. Everything around me feels so surreal-like one horrible dream I wasn't waking up from. His form became fuzzy through the tears, mixing with the lights and colors around him. Everything became a haze as the emotions in my body escaped through my tears.

In his sleep, he looks peaceful. In his sleep, reality doesn't matter. He looks so young like this, so unaffected by the world around him. Despite his injuries, in his sleep, his body is completely relaxed. I suppose the drugs have a little to do with that … Silently, I pray he will look just as peaceful when he wakes up. I pray this injury won't fracture his spirit.

He's so strong. He's strong but right now … God, he looks so vulnerable. What I wouldn't give to switch places with him …

My head falls to my hands, and I cover my face. I can't look at him anymore. Closing my eyes, I push everything away, attempting to dull each one of my senses. I try to ignore the smell of iodoform; I try to close my ears to the sounds of beeps and muffled chatter. I attempt to imagine I'm someplace else.

"How are you holding up?"

My head whips around at the sound of our nurse's voice. She's been such a comfort today and I wish I could appear strong for her. For some reason, I always felt embarrassed crying in front of others; showing emotion made me feel uncomfortable-exposed. Whenever I got close to someone, I felt naked. Edward's the only person who I felt comfortable sharing part of my soul with. Which only makes this moment more painful.

Quickly, I wipe away my tears, allowing my hair to fall down around my face, blocking my expression. I nod my head but don't turn to look at her. Instead, my eyes train on the sleeping man beside me.

"I'm fine. Just tired."

"You're allowed to be tired," she says as she steps forward. "We should be able to get him into surgery as soon as his swelling goes down." She takes another step forward and I feel her peering down at Edward's leg. Too afraid to take my eyes off of him, I don't turn my head to look at her. "It's looking a lot better. It shouldn't be too much longer."

"It feels like we've been here for days," I respond with a sad laugh.

"Time always seems to drag when someone you love is in pain." She turns on her heel but pauses for a moment before she walks away. "Can I get you anything to drink? You've been sitting here for so long, you must be thirsty."

She sounds like she wants to say more but doesn't. It seems like she wants to reassure me, but something's holding her back. Perhaps it's unprofessional? Perhaps she doesn't know if the surgery will go well? Perhaps-No! Stop thinking this way! You're going to drive yourself crazy with worry if you keep over analyzing everything.

"Sorry. I saw the vending machines earlier but I couldn't bring myself to leave him," I begin as another pathetic, tired laugh escapes me. "If it's too much trouble-"

"It's not, Ms. Swan."

Now, I turn to her. Her warm eyes calm me down slightly and I feel my body relax in my chair. Although I've never met her before, something about her feels familiar to me. Maybe it's just her warmth and friendliness. Something about her aura puts me at ease. She smiles slightly and for some reason, I feel like everything will be okay. She chose the right profession. She has such a way about her … I'll have to thank her when this is all over.

"Maybe just a bottle of water, then?" It comes out as more of a question.

"Sure thing. I'll be back in a moment."

With that, she leaves the room and I return my attention to Edward.

"Gosh … When this is through, let's run away together," I murmur as I reach forward and take his hand in mine. "Elope maybe?" I laugh at myself. After running away from every commitment I've ever been faced with, the idea of giving myself to someone now was almost foreign. However, it strangely felt like the most natural thing in the world. "God, what am I saying? You'd think I were the one who was all drugged up." I toy with his fingers, smiling as the warmth from his palm tickles my skin. "Eloping does sound nice, though. Besides, you'll have some time off soon. Unfortunately."

Tears fill my eyes again and before I can stop them, they spill over. Like this, he can't do anything for a long time. This will kill him. When he wakes up… It's like a painter losing their vision; like a composer gone deaf. What I wouldn't give to trade places with him. I could handle it. I could handle it just fine if it meant he would be okay. If it meant he would ride again.

"After this, let's do something that will bring you joy, baby. I won't let this bump in the road get you down. Because that's all this is … a bump in the road. You'll ride again. I promise."

I feel silly talking to him while he's sleeping but I would like to believe that he can hear me. Maybe if I say the words enough, he'll believe them. This is just a bump in the road, after all. It's not the end for him. He has so much left to give; so much left to show the world. I won't let that potential go to waste.

My eyes are trained on the floor, memorizing the patterns of the tiles beneath my fidgeting feet. The sounds around me form one big blur and while I focus on insignificant details, avoiding the bigger picture. The energy in the waiting room weighs heavily on me. I can't escape it or ignore the anxiety it inspires.

Shouldn't he be out by now? How long does a surgery like this take?! Staring down at the time on my phone, I suddenly feel silly. Wow, it's only been fifteen minutes. I need to stop worrying. Standing up, I leave the room and move down the hallway toward the vending machines. My gaze remains trained on the multicolored tiles the whole way. I fear if I look up and see a doctor or any other employee, I'll become even more nervous. As soon as I reach the machines, my gaze dances back and forth between sodas and snacks. My breath catches in my throat as my eyes come across a bag of Bugles as my mind transports me back to the road trip Edward and I shared together. Things were so much easier then. Now that I'm so attached, everything hurts. And yet, everything is better, too. Is this what love feels life? Why do people chase after love if it has the possibility of causing so much pain?

I purchased the chips and moved back to my seat. I don't care how much pain love causes, I want it. So, I try to calm myself as I wait for him. My stress won't help a thing. My anxiety won't turn back time or fix Edward. He'll need me when he gets out of surgery. God, what will I even say to him? I can't imagine what he's going through. I would compare this injury to if I broke all my fingers and couldn't paint but I know that wouldn't be a fair comparison. While I love painting, I haven't dedicated my life to it. I hadn't given it everything I had like Edward had given everything he had to bull riding. I never bled for my art-my passion. Edward had bled for his. Therefore, his pain should be greater than anything I could ever imagine.

An hour flies by like a day and I wonder how much longer I'll be able to sit here. I keep staring at the doors surrounding the waiting room, waiting for someone to pop out and give me some news. So far, nothing has happened. However, I can't seem to tear my gaze away. The hardest thing is waiting for some news concerning someone you love. Slowly, I allow my eyes to close as I lean back against my seat. Maybe I can rest for a while. If I'm asleep, time will move by faster for me …

The noises in the room fade away as I allow my mind to wander. With closed eyes and a stiff body, I move from one thought to the next. I think of the past, the present, and finally, the future. A future filled with Edward. I was always afraid of falling in love, of giving myself to another person, but now, I want to throw all those fears out the window and chase after the one man who has captured my heart completely. I see a future for us. I see it as clear as day. An engagement, a wedding, a pregnant belly leading to our very first child together, a house surrounded by nothing but trees and open fields, animals everywhere, and horses for our child to ride … I see it all as if I were watching a movie. Every image is beautiful and every image is mine.

"Ms. Swan?"

My eyes open at the sound of my voice and I turn to see a tired nurse smiling at me.

"You can come back now. He's just woken up and we moved him back to his room. He needs to fill out some paperwork and talk to the doctor about medications and then he'll be able to be discharged soon. Do you know where you plan on staying?"

"We have a hotel. It's not too far."

"Have him take it easy. He could stay overnight-"

"No, he'll want to leave. I'm sure he doesn't want to stay here," I interrupt her. Blushing, I wonder if that's what Edward would really want. I couldn't imagine him wanting to stay at a hospital but if he's in too much pain, I'm not sure if he'll want to go back to a hotel. "Of course, I can't speak for him …"

The nurse smiles at me and ushers for me to follow her back. I stand from my seat and with shaky legs and a rapid heartbeat, I follow her back down the hallway, through the doors, and back to Edward's room. As we reach the door and I can see him lying on the bed, gazing out the window, I'm not sure if I want to venture inside. I want to see him, of course, in fact, I want to throw my arms around him and cry into his chest, however, another part of me is afraid of what I'll find. I'm so worried this injury will break him.

"You can see him now," the nurse says with a smile in her voice, standing by the door at my side.

My flush deepens and my heart speeds up. "Sorry," I mumble as I move into the room.

"I'll give you two a moment. I'll be back shortly."

With that, she turns to move back to her nurse's station, leaving me alone with Edward. To my dismay, he doesn't acknowledge me at first. Silently, he continues to stare out the window. The only sounds in the room are coming from the monitors surrounding him and the TV near his bed. The television displays some run-of-the-mill daytime drama. Apparently, Edward hasn't wanted to change it. He looks so defeated and, before I know it, tears are filling my eyes. I quickly wipe them away, wanting to appear strong for the man before me.

"Baby?" I ask as I step forward.

One foot in front of the other, I move toward him. I'm hesitant, scared even, but that doesn't stop me. He needs me. I know he won't say that aloud, but I can feel it in my bones. This man needs me and I'll do everything in my power to be there for him.

"Edward," I say in a clear voice as I move to stand by his bed.

I rest my hand on the chair at his bedside and wait for him to turn his attention toward me. I can't tell if he's still disorientated from his surgery and the medication or if he's too emotional to talk to me. I hope it's the first. I hope he understands that he can open up to me, expressing every bit of himself. There isn't a part of him I wouldn't love or would consider weak.

He doesn't answer me and I decide to give him time as I quietly take a seat. Reaching out, I take hold of his hand and trace the veins with my fingers. I smile, thankful to finally know that he's safe. He made it through surgery and now he'll have to make a full recovery. He'll be fine. He's safe … Oh, thank God.

"You really scared me today," I begin, smiling at the feeling of his warm, slightly flushed skin. "But, I wasn't scared too badly. I knew you were strong and because of that, I didn't have to worry about you too much."

I had worried a great deal; however, Edward doesn't have to know this. I should have had more faith in him but loving him as I do, it would have been impossible to be emotionless.

"How are you feeling?" I ask, becoming uncomfortable by his silence.

A few heartbeats pass before he answers.

"Fine, I guess."

I smile, happy to hear his voice. He spoke in a monotone but something is better than nothing. I'm just happy he's responding to me again.

"You look better than fine," I gush as I lean forward in my seat. "For a man who's just had surgery. You-"

"Bella," he stops me. He turns his gaze toward me and for a moment, I believe he's going to tell me to hush. However, as he looks at me, his gaze softens. "I love you," he whispers. "Thanks for being here."

"Where else would I go?"

He smiles slightly, but the smile doesn't reach his eyes. His eyes are sad and his mind seems to be somewhere else entirely.

"I guess I can't compete for a while," he sarcastically states with a jaded smile.

"But you will compete again. I know you will," I insist, leaning down to press a kiss against the back of his hand.

"Once I hit twenty-six, I was worried about getting injured. It wasn't a debilitating worry, but it was always in the back of my mind when I wasn't on the bull. I had a minor accident. I was lucky then …" He shakes his head, looking back toward the window. "I wasn't as lucky today. If I had someone coaching me, I'm sure they'd say this is the end of the road for me. I guess it's a good thing I haven't had any help for a while now." Another humorless laugh escapes his lips.

"I don't think it's the end of the road for you, baby. It's just a bump in the road. You'll be riding again soon. I'm sure of it."

"I guess now I can focus on some other things I've been meaning to do."

"What else have you been meaning to do?"

He turns back to me and gives me a sleepy smile. "I don't know … I've got ideas."

"Do those ideas involve me?"

"Of course they involve you. That is … if you want to stay with an old man like me."

He gives me a teasing smile which fills my heart. He's going to be all right. He couldn't smile like this if he were truly broken. Everything is going to be just fine.

"I'll always be by your side. Even when your old, gray, and moody," I joke, leaning down to press another kiss to his hand.

"That's good to hear. God, baby, if you weren't here right now … I don't know what I would do. Facing this alone … I don't even want to think about it. I'm lucky to have you."

"I'm lucky to have you, too. You ready to get out of here soon? The nurse said you could be discharged tonight if you wanted."

"Yeah, I'm ready to get the hell out of here." He laughs and then flenches before he relaxes against the bed. "God, I feel weak."

"You just had surgery," I point out. "You're doing a lot better than I thought you would be doing."

"Come on, Bells. I thought you had faith in me. I'll make a speedy recovery. I'm sure of it." He looks down at his leg for a moment before he returns his attention to me. Smiling, he says, "I guess you'll have to be on top for a while."

I flush, staring at him in disbelief. After everything that's happened today, this man is still thinking about sex.

"Aren't you too worn out to even think about that?"

"Do I look worn out to you?"

I roll my eyes, happy that he's joking around with me.

"You should be."

"I'm only kidding, Bells. Tonight, I just want to hold you."

"I think we can manage that." I smile.

"Hopefully we can manage that forever because I want to hold onto you for that long."

A/N: Okay guys, I'm not a doctor and despite doing a little research on Google and having a few surgeries myself, I'm not an expert. So, excuse me if any of this is wrong. I know if you work in the medical field, you might be cringing at some of these mistakes. So, sorry about that!

If everything goes according to plan, this story should only have four more chapters to go! Yay! Thanks for sticking with me everyone. I've never encountered such terrible writer's block but I really wanted to push through and finish this story for you. I hate reading WIPS that haven't been updated in years so I really don't want to do that with any of my stories. So, my resolution for this year was to try to finish all my current WIPS and not start any new ones until that goal is reached. When I first started writing fanfic a few years ago, I wanted to post every single idea I had. Now, I've really calmed down a lot. I published my first fanfic in November of 2016! I can't believe I've been part of this awesome community for this long! (I really hope my writing has improved lol).

Thanks again, everyone! Please review. :)