5. A loss, a birthday and a wedding

Megan woke up a few minutes later, crying from the pain she was in. After she was prodded and poked a few more times, a healer eventually made the decision to take her to St. Mungos.

'Ms Lupin' a healer said, once she was settled in her room – the pain was starting to ease off with the medication so she could at least focus on him 'We believe you have had a miscarriage. We just need to do another test to check and we want you to stay in over-night.'

Megan didn't say anything, she knew what he was saying, but she wasn't processing it. 'Megan, sweetheart, the Healer needs to know if they can do the test now?' George asked quietly, holding her hand. Megan looked up at him, her eyes were empty, but she nodded.

The test didn't hurt but it did confirm what they thought; the baby was gone. Megan was silent – she didn't cry, she didn't scream, she didn't even talk to anyone. She was just silent. George stayed with her all night, however neither of them got any sleep. They lay there, silently, thinking about what had happened.

…

'George, I want to go to my Dads.' Megan said quietly as he got her stuff ready for leaving the hospital.

George nodded 'Of course. I let them know what had happened – I'll get in touch again to let them know you'll be going there.'

'We'll.'

'What?'

'Let them know we'll be going. Please? Unless you wanted to go to the Burrow. It's ok if you do, I'll just go alone.'

'No, of course I want to come with you…I didn't know if you wanted me with you.'

Megan looked at him and just nodded. Of course, I want him with me. She thought, Why wouldn't I?

George left the room to send a message to her dads and then on to his own family. He then made his way back to Megan's room – he stood in the doorway and watched as she looked at herself in the mirror, rubbing her stomach. When she noticed him watching her, she started to tear up, but stopped herself.

Don't lose it here Megan. Don't lose it. She was thinking over and over.

…

As soon as she stepped out of the fireplace, her Dads rushed over and hugged her.

'We are so sorry Megan. Are you ok?'

She nodded numbly but refused an offer of food and drink. 'Do you mind if I go to bed. I didn't sleep well last night.' She asked them.

'Of course not honey – you go. I'll bring up some food later.' Remus said, kissing her forehead.

Megan made her way up to her room and started to change for bed. Suddenly, it hit her. Her baby was gone. The baby she realised she was having right here in this room, just 9 short weeks ago, was gone. She broke down and fell to the floor sobbing.

That was where George found her ten minutes later to check on her and he sat down beside her, holding her until she was ready to get into bed.

Once in bed, she pulled him in with her and just lay there, sobbing into his chest – George could feel his tears starting too but tried not to get too upset – he had to be strong for her. She eventually cried herself to sleep and they both got about 4 hours sleep. When Megan woke up, she momentarily forgot what had happened and when she remembered it hit her all over again. George woke to her sobbing, curled up in a ball.

'I don't know what to do, I don't know what to say to you. Nothing I do or say could be enough.'

'I'm sorry.' She choked out.

'What? No, I'm sorry. I should know what to say. I just want to be there for you.'

'No' she said 'I'm sorry that I had a miscarriage. I'm sorry that my stupid body couldn't even carry a baby.'

'What? No, Megan – this wasn't your fault. If anything, it should be me that's sorry. That stress I put you through yesterday by going to get Harry didn't help.' He said, starting to sob as well. 'I'm so sorry.'

Megan sat up then 'George, we can't do this. We can't play the blame game. I love you and you didn't cause this – please believe me?' she begged.

'Only if you believe me – this isn't your fault either.' He responded, pulling her down to him and holding her.

'It's my body that failed.'

'You two, we don't mean to eavesdrop, but we couldn't help it.' A voice came from the doorway – Megan looked over to see both her dads standing there. 'It's nobody's fault ok? You two need to be there for each other now – you're going to need each other more than ever now.'

Megan and George looked at each other and nodded.

'Do you two want some food?' Sirius eventually asked.

'We'll be down in a minute.' Megan answered.

'George, I think they're right. We have to agree it's no one's fault – we can't blame ourselves or each other. I love you.' She told him.

'I love you too.' He responded and she took that as an agreement regarding the blame.

…

'Guys, it's Harry's birthday tomorrow and Molly has invited everyone to the Burrow to celebrate. Now, obviously Sirius and I are going, but you two don't need to come if you don't feel up to it.' Remus told them, as he got them some soup.

Megan said 'No, I want to come and see Harry.' Just as George said, 'We'll think about it.'

'George, Harry is like my brother – I want to see him on his 17th birthday. Plus, Bill's wedding is the day after tomorrow – we're definitely going to have to go to that.'

'Ok, I just didn't want you to feel overwhelmed.' George told her. Megan grasped his hand across the table and smiled at him.

'I know. But I will need to see them sometime.'

…

George watched Megan as she sat at her dressing table drying her hair with her wand. Next, she started to put some make-up on.

'You don't need that you know? You're so beautiful without it.' He told her.

Megan smiled 'Thank you, but I do. I look like a zombie today.'

'Meg, we really don't need to go if you don't want to.'

'George, I told you I'm going. Is there a reason you don't want me to go? Are you ashamed or something? You don't want to take the stupid girl who couldn't even carry a baby back to your house?'

'What, woah! I never said any of that. I don't even think that – you know I don't! I'm just worried that you will be overwhelmed with everyone there.'

'I'll be fine.' She snapped.

'Ok. Meg, I'm going to go just now because I'm just making you mad being here. I'll see you at the Burrow later. I love you.' He said, as he walked out the door.

Megan stared at herself in the mirror why are you such a bitch Megan? She thought. The man you love has just walked out on you because you're a cow. As she thought that, she started to cry again.

'Megan, what's going on?' Sirius asked, stopping as he was making his way downstairs.

'I'm a bitch' she cried.

Sirius looked at her confused. 'Where's George?' he asked.

'I was horrible to him, so he went home.'

'He left you?!' Sirius asked, getting angry.

'Yeah but only because I snapped at him. He was trying to make sure I was going to be ok for today and I snapped at him. I don't even know if I will be ok today.' She said, shaking. 'I just want to be ok. I want to be normal.'

'Oh beautiful girl, come here.' Sirius said, opening his arms. She crossed the room and was sat next to him sobbing when Remus appeared.

'What is it? Are you ok?' he asked, sitting on her other side.

'yes. No. I don't know' she wailed.

'Megan, you don't have to go today – if it's too much yo-'

'But it can't be too much. I have to start getting back to normal.' She answered.

'Who says?' Remus asked. 'Who says, one day after having a miscarriage, that you have to go back to "normal"?'

'I don't know. I just feel like I should be.' She said.

'Look, we are going to leave in about 15 minutes – only come down if you're ready. Ok?'

Megan nodded and her dads left her alone to think. She had to go – first to say Happy Birthday to Harry but then to apologise to George. Mind made up, she went downstairs and joined her dads at the fireplace.

'The burrow' she said, as she got in.

…

'Happy Birthday Harry!' she said, as she came in to the living room where he was sitting.

'Megan, you're here!' he shouted, getting up from the chair. From the corner of the room, she noticed George slipping out and couldn't help but feel upset that he would just leave. 'Are you ok?' Harry asked, bending down to kiss her cheek.

'I'm fine little bro – just a bit tired. So, what have you got so far?' she asked and listened as Harry excitedly rattled off what he had received from everyone.

'Harry, I got you a little something too' she said, handing him a small box. Inside was a ring with the Potter signet on it. 'My mother had it in with her belongings – no idea why – but it's yours and I wanted to give you it at the right time. Your 17th Birthday seemed like a good day.'

'Megan, thank you!' he smiled, sliding the ring on to one of his fingers.

'No problem. I also got you this' she added, handing him a hamper made up with all different sweets he loved.

Harry smiled at her and kissed her on the cheek again.

While everyone else was pre-occupied with the Birthday Boy, Megan snuck out to find George. He was nowhere on the ground floor, so she made her way up the stairs, stopping at the door to his bedroom.

'Can I talk to you?' she asked, standing in the doorway. He was lying on his bed, looking up at the ceiling. He nodded so she sat down at the end of his bed.

'I'm sorry.' She started. 'I was a bitch to you. I just wanted to be ok and you repeatedly asking me if I wanted to come today just made me realise that I wasn't ok, and I didn't know how I was going to cope here. But I just wanted to be normal – I wanted to be fine. I'm not though George, and I really need you just now.'

'Come here.' He said, holding out a hand to her. She took it and he pulled her down, so she was lying next to him, her head on his chest. 'I am here for you. I will always be here for you. I didn't want to leave today but I knew I was just upsetting you by being there. That's why I made sure I told you I love you before I left – I didn't want you to think I didn't.'

'George, I'm scared I'll never feel normal again.' She whispered, her voice shaking.

'I think you will be. You just need to grieve ok? Let yourself grieve.'

'I feel weak though. Like I'm always crying.'

'But it's not for no reason Meg, you're crying for a good reason and you're not weak. You're 17 and your body has gone through a hell of a lot – you cry as much as you like, ok? Plus, we have had a lot of loss over the last few days. It's natural that you would be upset. You cry if you want to ok? I will always be here to hold you.'

'I love you so much George. I loved our baby too! I was scared at first, but I had grown to love it.'

'I know, I feel exactly the same.' He responded. After a moments silence, he said 'Meg, if we both still want a baby in the future, we can try again you know? Not anytime soon, just one day.'

Megan smiled and curled up closer to him. 'We should really go downstairs for dinner.' George said to her.

Megan stretched out and sat up. 'George, how was your mum when you told her?'

'She cried, but she was there for me. She's a strong woman my mum.'

'She is. Do you mind if I go and speak to her?' she asked.

George shook his head – he knew one of the reasons she had been so upset was because her own mum wasn't there to comfort her.

'See you downstairs.' She said and made her way down to the kitchen.

'Molly' she said, as she entered the kitchen – luckily the woman was alone.

'Hmm?' Molly said, not realising who had spoke until she looked up. 'Oh, Megan dear! Come here, how are you feeling?' she asked, tears in her eyes.

'I feel shit, to put it a bit bluntly, she said. 'I love George and my dad's – but they don't give hugs like a Mum.'

Molly was in front of her as quick as a flash and had her arms wrapped around her. 'I am so sorry this happened to you.' She said, rubbing Megan's back.

'I'm scared Molly – I'm scared I'll never get over this.'

'You'll never forget this baby – I promise you that – but the pain will get easier over time.'

'Molly, have you gone through this?' she Megan asked, wiping away her tears.

'Yes, sweetheart. Arthur and I had a miscarriage after Percy was born.'

'I'm sorry.'

'No, no. You don't apologise for that – I'm just sad you're going through this too.'

The women chatted for a bit longer and then Megan helped to take food out to the garden for Harry's birthday dinner. She sat next to George, holding his hand. She knew she wasn't over it, but she did feel a little bit more at peace.

…

Bill and Fleur's wedding was beautiful. George looked handsome, Megan looked beautiful in a floor length green dress that set off her hair. They danced, they chatted, they smiled. At one point they did have to go in to the house to let Megan calm down as she was getting upset again, but she was ok after ten minutes.

That's when they appeared. Deatheaters. Everywhere. She saw Harry disapparating with Hermione and Ron and then George was grabbing her hand – he disapparated.

'George, no, we have to go back.'

'No Megan, you've gone through enough this week. You're not going back.' She was about to argue when she heard a crack behind her, and her dads appeared.

'Thank god.' She cried, running to hug them.

'Everyone from the wedding is ok.' Sirius said. 'The ministry has been taken over though. We're pretty sure we're being watched now.'