¯\_(ツ)_/¯

-o0o-

Allen had never quite understood the festive season. However, something that proved even more mystifying to him was the minds of rich people.

By now, Christmas and New Years had both passed, with Monopoly and shrine visitations and whatnot. Apparently, the latter was something of a tradition around here; Allen vaguely recalled his classmates mentioning something of the sort.

Speaking of his classmates, Allen had actually ended up running into a few of them around New Years. They seemed relieved to see him, yet also somewhat annoyed, scolding him for not responding to their messages and whatnot. Apparently, some of them had tried to reach him, for various reasons; some had experienced a bout of guilt and wanted to give Allen a belated invite to join them at the Christmas party, and failing to get a response (because a certain someone had 'accidentally' dropped his phone into an aquarium), they had somehow managed to find out his address and attempted to visit… only to be scared away by the presence of gangsters.

"Allen, are you okay? There are yakuza staking out your house. Do you owe them money or something?"

Allen had forced a smile at that. While certainly appreciating the concern, he hadn't really wanted to see them here, especially not with Road clinging to his arm like a limpet.

Road's presence had obviously raised a lot of questions, and her actions had raised her father Sheril's blood pressure to new heights. Really, if not for Tyki being there to hold his elder brother back, then Allen would likely have suffered some sort of injury. That said however, Allen had clearly noticed his classmates looks, and he could have sworn that he had heard some of the girl whisper something along the lines of "I never thought Allen of all people would turn out to be a lolicon!"

Really. Allen had mostly been able to dispel the misunderstanding though, letting them know that he was in fact here for work. That in turn had brought about an entirely new misunderstanding.

"I always knew he was obsessed with money, but to hire himself out as an escort of all things…"

Well, technically… 'escort' was also a name for 'bodyguard'. Still, Allen was very clear on the fact that this was not the thing they had been referring to.

Thankfully, Road had decided to clear up the understanding rather than add to it. "Allen's really an excellent bodyguard! He beat up a bunch of armed delinquents with his bare hands!"

"Bodyguard?! I thought you said you worked as a bike messenger!"

Yeah. "I got fired for lying about my age…" …And apparently hired for picking fights.

In any case though, Allen had not stuck around very long to catch up; there had been no real reason to after all. He would be leaving the country soon anyway.

"But what about school?" one of them had asked, and what about it, really?

Allen was in the company of people with money and if what he had seen so far served as any kind of indication, they weren't particularly stingy with it either.

In fact, Allen still found it a bit creepy. Granted, Road and her grandfather was in a category of their own, but at this point, even a few of the others had also seemed to acknowledge his continued presence.

Shortly before leaving to celebrate New Years elsewhere, Tyki had brought him aside to give him a few tips on how to survive his new environment. Those tips had proven very useful so far, and Allen thought it was a severe pity that the man was no longer with them… not that he wouldn't be back fairly soon though, if the words of Road and the family patriarch served as any sort of indication.

And, speaking of the family patriarch, the highly esteemed Duke of− "There's no need for such formality, Allen−" said the man in question. "You may call me Grandfather if you like. We are practically family after all."

There was an underlying meaning in those words, and frankly, they made Allen's skin crawl. He inadvertently shivered, and that was enough to get a heavy coat dropped onto his shoulders while a slightly wrinkled hand pressed against his forehead, staying there briefly before brushing his hair out of the way.

Allen was at the hospital again, because his newly appointed 'Grandfather' had insisted. Apparently, some of the other tests that had been taken the last time around had yielded some noteworthy results, because why else would Allen find himself back here again.

He was not being prodded with syringes this time around though, so that was a huge plus. That did not stop him from feeling somewhat faint though, especially not when someone had brought out papers claiming that there was a fairly strong genetical link, and thus a fairly close familial relation.

"It is quite extraordinary, really," said the man. "Of course, now that this matter has come to light, it changes things. There is really only one proper thing to do…"

And maybe a week after that, Allen was handed a new passport along with copies of paperwork to prove that he was now listed as a dependant of the old Duke himself.

"Grandpa, you adopted my bodyguard," Road whined. "Now how am I supposed to marry him when I'm old enough?"

Again, Sheril choked on his drink; this time around, it was tea. Allen also choked, but only on his own spit, and lapsed into a coughing fit.

"My dear Road, for now, I have only claimed legal guardianship," said the Duke, patting Allen's back. "Adoption would take more time, so for now−"

Sheril stood up suddenly, actually having used his own sleeve to wipe away the tea and spit from his chin instead of the perfectly good napkin right in front of it.

"I will get right on it," he announced. "In fact, I might adopt him for myself if that'll make it any quicker…"

Stunned, Allen watched him go, and just as horror and panic began flooding in as the words properly registered, he was pulled into a tight hug by the Duke, and then Road as well. Pressed up tightly against the former's chest, head tucked beneath their chin, Allen was initially too shocked to do anything. Then his thoughts began catching up with the events at hand, and he somehow managed to get his hands up to push away. It proved largely futile though, because the old man was a whole lot stronger than he looked. Did he bench-press during his spare time or what?

"Who said anything about adoption?" Allen protested. "Road promised me ten million yen a year if I−!"

"Ten million yen?" The old man interrupted, sounding both puzzled and disapproving as he released Allen from the hug. "But is that not just over 70,000 pounds?"

"About 71,000 pounds," Lulu Bell helpfully provided. "Just below 6,000 pounds per month, milord."

"But that would be such meagre allowance," said the Duke, putting his hands firmly upon Allen's shoulders, looking down at him with definite pity. "Child, you mustn't think like a pauper. Lulu Bell will double−no, triple the amount."

Bewildered, Allen found himself pulled into another hug, and hands began petting his head incessantly like he was a pet or something.

Right. Pet. Tyki had warned him about this, hadn't he?

Allen closed his eyes.

Oh well.

-o0o-

Oh, and in regards to Cross Marian−

"Oh."

−Allen did end up encountering him a couple of months after the fact, and on an extended cruise at that. It was a pity that even while far out at sea, it was still such a public place.

"It's not that much of a public place," Road argued, sticking about as close as ever. "There are lots of blind spots."

Yeah, Allen had also kind of noticed that. Still− "It wouldn't be easy. If it was that easy, then−"

A hand came down on top of his head, and he cautiously looked up to see that it belonged to Lulu Bell. All things considered, she was likely their assigned chaperone, something that she was not very pleased with.

"But we could make it look like an accident," Road persisted, voice lowered to an intent whisper. "Accidents happen in these places, and if it's out on international waters, then no one really cares."

Cue Lulu Bell grabbing Road as well, effectively manhandling them back into the cabin – or luxury suite, whatever. She obviously did not intend to let them leave, because she herself only left after admitting Tyki into the room, giving him a very stern look before departing.

"Lulu looks like she's about to kill someone and dump their body overboard," Tyki commented after closing the door behind himself. "Anyone up for another round of poker though?"

Allen resolved himself not to think too hard about it all, because… plausible deniability and all that. Still− "I thought you'd already gambled away all your cash though?"

"Sheril gave me additional pocket money," Tyki happily announced.

"It'd probably be cheaper if he'd just fund CBT for you instead," Road commented in turn.

"CB-what now?" Tyki asked, shooting her a puzzled look on top of the cards he was in the middle of shuffling.

"CBT – Cognitive Behavioural Therapy," Road responded, enunciating each word very clearly. Actually, considering her age, it was rather impressive that she knew of such a thing in the first place. "You know," she then added somewhat sweetly. "For your blatant gambling addiction and all…"

Allen privately pondered that Tyki wasn't the only person in need of some type of therapy in this family, Allen himself included. Still− "I guess I could go for another round…"

-o0o-

The End?

-o0o-