What is Allen thinking?What am I thinking? ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

-o0oOo0o-

A lot could happen within the span of a few minutes.

As such, Tyki was not entirely unsurprised to re-enter the train carriage where he had left his travelling companion to find the said companion engaging with a bunch of people Tyki would rather not have on his tail right now. "Boy," he sighed, torn in-between exasperation and resignation, because− "When I said, stay put and don't cause trouble for the other passengers, I−"

The little hellion turned his hooded head around, grinning. "Uncle!"

Tyki had to employ a whole lot of self-control not to cringe. Because honestly, whose idea was this whole ploy? Not Tyki's, that's for sure.

"Ooh, croissants. Thanks, uncle!"

Uncle. Cringe. Double cringe. Triple cringe. Indefinite cringe.

"That twitchy dude's your uncle? Really? You two look almost nothing alike!"

And for that, Tyki was grateful, because the Fourteenth was more than enough. "Small mercies."

The pair seated on the floor both laughed at that. Despite having no greater appetite, Tyki took a bite out of his croissant, averting his eyes from the spectacle that was a hooded Allen Walker seated across from one of the exorcists that had met their unfortunate end by Tyki's hand. The name escaped him though, at least for now.

"Daisya, you want one? I feel kind of bad about taking all of your pocket money."

Tyki closed his eyes and prayed for deliverance, because that thing over there was definitely that annoying little exorcist he had put an end to fairly early on in the game. In Barcelona, probably. Strung upside down from a lamppost, if Tyki was not completely mistaken.

On one hand, Tyki definitely contemplated killing the exorcist again, if in a somewhat less creative manner. On the other hand, he definitely felt the surfacing urge to enforce some discipline upon his fake nephew.

"It's cool man, you're really good at this," said the exorcist. "I'm better at ballgames myself. You play?"

The boy gave a somewhat dismissive wave at that. "Nah, I'm more into acrobatics myself. And juggling. And knife throwing."

Tyki snorted softly, because it was more like sword throwing and juggling various fake personalities. "You know, it's not too late to run off and join a circus," he said, because that much was true. "I'm sure you'd make an excellent clown." That much was also true.

There was a brief smile and a display of teeth. "And I'm sure you'd make excellent target practice, uncle of mine."

Really. "I didn't agree to bring you along just so that you could use me as target practice."

The boy actually pouted at that. "I wouldn't hit you. Grandfather would kill me."

Grandfather. Tyki took another bite out of his croissant and quietly prayed for deliverance.

-o0oOo0o-

It might sound a bit anticlimactic, but nothing really came of that. Nothing major at any rate. Daisya Barry was out on some mundane mission with some mundane Finder, and there was no aggressive sword-wielding Second-Generation exorcist menace in the vicinity, so Tyki ought to feel glad as opposed to… well, bored and disappointed.

After all, he should hardly be disappointed with such an outcome; he should be thrilled, because the risk that things would have gone off the rails again had been overhanging, but still.

"Stop looking so damned disappointed," drawled his companion, who was sorting through the remaining fruits of today's hard work. "Did you honestly think I started that game without something up my sleeve?"

Tyki knew for a fact that the boy had several somethings up his sleeve practically at all times, but− "You risked exposure."

This earned him a definite look. "Did not."

Hoh. "Are you positive about that? Because I'm pretty damned sure that your face will be remembered not just by that exorcist brat and his Finder but also by that golem of his."

"And who would remember me for what, exactly?" Allen drawled right back. "I'm just some card-playing brat tagging along with my uncle; I'm either a stranger or a potential friend."

Or an enemy pretending to be the former, technically, but neither of them made mention of that. According to official Black Order policy, he was most definitely the latter after all.

For a while, they just sat there, Tyki doing mostly nothing and Allen counting the money with immense concentration. Tyki strongly suspected that the boy had actually finished several minutes ago, and was only keeping up the charade as a means not to talk to him. "Say…"

The boy didn't look up, but simply scowled down at the money. "What?"

On one hand, Tyki felt tempted to leave it at that. Heck, he felt sorely tempted to head out and smoke some of the cigarettes now at his disposal, because having such a travelling companion was anything but easy on his nerves. Still− "Just so that we're both on the same page: The plan is to stop Him from bringing about the apocalypse, right?"

The scowl turned to him now. "Yes."

Tyki averted his eyes; the view outside the window was unremarkable, but currently preferable. "I don't think we ever defined what 'stop' meant…"

The boy's eyes narrowed at that. Even without looking, Tyki could tell. "We meant stop as in stop by any means necessary, which by the way isn't necessarily the same as that guy's kill and replace strategy."

Yeah, except− "It might be?"

The boy let out a sigh and finally bundled the money together. "I honestly don't think that I'd make many new friends with it, but if I'm left with no other option, then sure, it would be the same," he said, putting one bundle inside of his coat pocket.

Tyki was unable to help but smile sardonically at that. "It's awfully optimistic of you to believe that you'll make friends with any of us, considering who you're hosting. Even if you somehow managed to wrap Him around your finger, the others would do anything in their power to put an end to your ambitions."

There was a slight noise at that, reminiscent of an amused snort. Tyki looked back to see the boy looking up at him with a smile on his face.

"I'm not saying it'll be easy, but I can be very charming when I want to be," Allen said.

On one hand, some part of Tyki believed him. On the other however− "I believe that when I see it."

The smile widened into something decidedly sharper. "Then watch carefully," he said, getting up and motioning for Tyki to follow.

-o0oOo0o-

And Tyki watched, fascinated at first and then gradually more and more horrified as the boy moved from carriage to carriage, from compartment to compartment, bumping into people, openly stealing from people and yet each time people noticed or got upset, they all stopped in their tracks. By the end of it all, even the gruffest of men took turns to ruffle the boy's hair or to put a hand upon his shoulders, making offers of this or that. The women were even worse; one somewhat older and quite busty woman in particular had practically decided to adopt the boy right then and there. Even so, the boy had still managed to weasel himself out of it all, and by the time he and Tyki were both back inside their compartment, the boy dropped all earlier pretence and grinned widely.

"I stand corrected," Tyki admitted, checking to make sure the coast was clear before pulling the door shut and locking it. "Still, I seriously doubt you'd manage to pull that trick on Sheril."

Allen snorted, dumping his most recent spoils down onto the nearest seat. "You'd be surprised by just how good I am at getting people to like me."

Of that, Tyki was no longer surprised. Still− "How did you get Road to like you anyway? She was smitten by the time she returned from that mission. The Rewinding Town, was it?"

She had been smitten and nigh unbearable, but that was beside the point.

Allen meanwhile pinched the bridge of his nose; he looked as though the mere thought of the event was giving him a headache. "She gouged my eye out," he began at last, moving the hand from his nose to cover his eye. "She also nailed my arm to a wall… And then I threatened to blow her head off."

"Ah." Tyki had to take a moment to process this new piece of information, because really. Still− "It wouldn't work on Sheril. I'll have you know that the Sheril of our time thirsts for your blood almost as much as he does for Fourteenth's."

Allen shrugged mildly at that, taking a seat next to his spoils. "Well, that guy's inside my body, so it's my blood anyhow."

That much was true, still− "Sheril might be sadistic in his own right, but I honestly don't think he'd find a murder attempt seductive."

Few people would; Road was an outlier.

Allen hummed slightly at that. "I once seduced a robot into sacrificing itself for me," he finally said, sorting through the spoils.

Tyki blinked. "A robot?"

The boy gave another shrug at that. "Komui's masterpiece. Version 3.0, I think. The previous models all got wrecked because of reasons."

Tyki had never heard of this before. "What happened?"

Allen tilted his head back to stare up into the ceiling. "A zombified Krory was at the door to our hiding place. We needed someone to act as a distraction," he said, as if that explained everything. It really didn't.

"Zombified?" Tyki repeated, because obviously he had to start from somewhere and that seemed like a decent place to start.

"The Black Order Zombie Apocalypse," Allen readily supplied. "Not fun," he added, as if his tone had left any doubts.

"Hoh?" Tyki took a seat across from him, leaning forward in interest.

"Someone fed Krory Komui's special vitamins, Komu-Vitamin or something," Allen eventually supplied, looking out the window now. "And then the infection started getting transmitted orally."

Just then, the train entered a tunnel, which left them in pitch darkness for a bit. Then, just as suddenly as they had entered, they exited back out into the light.

"I got bitten in the arm, but since it was Innocence, I didn't become a zombie until at the very end," Allen added somewhat dismissively. "Still, it wasn't fun."

Tyki took a moment, trying to imagine it. It made a fairly strange image. "Going by your descriptions, I'm starting to doubt there'd even be a need to destroy the Order," he decided at last. After all− "You guys seems to be doing a pretty decent job of your own."

"Komui's smart but destructive," Allen commented.

"That's only marginally better than being dumb and destructive," Tyki countered.

Allen shrugged mildly at that, coaxing Timcanpy out of his pocket and putting him on top of his head. "Fair enough."

For a while, neither of them said anything.

Timcanpy seemed a bit snappish and annoyed at having been left inside a pocket for so long, but seemed willing to forego biting at fingers to glare with its non-existent eyes in Tyki's general direction. Tyki felt mildly tempted to do something in return, but was suddenly distracted by how Allen picked up a piece of sausage the busty lady had given him. The golem bared its teeth at first, as if somewhat displeased by such meagre peace offering, but then flicked its tongue out – Why the ever-loving fuck did it even have a tongue? – and in no time, it had savagely consumed the thing, teeth snapping wildly as pieces of sausage were banished into the void that apparently also functioned as the thing's stomach.

Allen must have noticed Tyki staring, because he simply said "Tim's got itchy teeth" and left it at that, as if it all somehow made sense then. Then again, as Tyki had already established, there was absolutely nothing that really made sense about the thing, save for it being protective of Allen and it having intense feelings of animosity towards Tyki. Because Tyki could understand both of them, at least to some degree.

In any case, wasn't Tyki forgetting something right now? That thing before, about whether one was smart but destructive or dumb and destructive and…

"Wait… Smart but destructive or dumb and destructive − Which one are you?"

The smile directed his way was bright and anything but comforting.

-o0oOo0o-