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-o0oOo0o-

Smart but destructive or dumb and destructive; that was the question.

On one hand, Tyki was leaning towards the former. At times though, he was definitely leaning towards the latter – in regards to Allen, that is, not in regards to Tyki himself.

For now though, the boy was just… idle. This should have been a good thing, and yet, Tyki found it immensely unnerving. Because an idle mind was the Devil's playground and all that shit.

Earlier, Tyki had been treated to the spectacle of the golem getting polished and meticulously at that. Several comments had been on the tip of his tongue, but in the end, he had just sat there in silence and watched the spectacle.

Now though, the golem was perhaps shinier than ever, and the boy had instead taken to looking out the train window.

Now, there was nothing wrong with looking at the landscapes passing by, but when someone had been doing that wordlessly for at least an hour and a half and had barely blinked more than a couple of times per minute, that was a definite cause for concern.

"So…" Tyki said at last. "What's up?"

At first, Tyki thought that he was being deliberately ignored. But then, then he noticed the golem tapping Allen's thigh and the boy startling, first at the sudden tap and then at the sight of Tyki, surprise and something reminiscent of fear in his eyes.

"I'm not him," Tyki said, and just in case, he also clarified: "I'm not the Fourteenth; I'm Tyki Mikk, the Pleasure of Noah, your reluctant ally, in spite of past confrontations and past and present differences in opinion. We're on a train, headed for the Balkans, because you decided that joining the Black Order simply wasn't for you. Our non-aggression agreement is still valid by the way."

There was a brief pause at that and a few rapid blinks. "Non-stabbing agreement," the boy said at last. "Slashing included save for special occasions."

Special occasions? "Putting it like that, it kind of sounds like you actually enjoy slashing people," Tyki commented, putting out his cigarette before pulling out another one and lighting it. "It's not too late to turn up at the Order; you should at least consider it."

"I did," Allen said, folding his arms across his chest. "My decision hasn't changed."

Yeah, Tyki had kind of figured. Still− "You do realise that you're making my life kind of difficult, right? Not that I don't appreciate the company, and not that I don't get why you want to keep your distance, but… you can't protect them if you're not around. I mean sure, without you in the Order, the likelihood of an attack on the Order itself will be decidedly low. But you know, exorcists have been attacked and killed way before I started hunting them – by Akuma, for the most part, and while we're mostly dealing with Level-Ones and Level-Twos at this point in time, not everyone is as skilled as you when it comes to picking them out, so…"

So… why was Tyki giving this guy pointers on how to live his life again? Oh right, that.

"It's okay to fake it, you know?" Tyki said, and looking back, he could probably have saved himself a lot of trouble if he had just said this back when they had first discussed the topic in question. "You don't have to be the person you were at the age of fifteen and you don't have to be like Cross. You could just be yourself, and that'd be perfectly fine. So fucking what if you'd have a whole lot of knowledge that you shouldn't have had? You could just blame it on Cross or whatever."

The boy said nothing to that, but it didn't really matter because Tyki wasn't really done talking.

"You talked about distracting Him before," he said. "But why? Odds are that I'll still get the hit list and that He'll still order us to target the exorcist generals, and odds are that the Order will do the same thing as last time and send out teams of exorcists to retrieve them. I mean sure, it won't be like last time, since I was responsible for most killings back then, but… as you know, fate's a bitch, so…"

"What should I do then?" Allen asked. "Should I say 'Screw it", infiltrate the Ark, take control of it and then−"

"Hijacking the Ark isn't such a bad idea," Tyki commented. "I mean, if you're gonna do it, then you should probably do it pretty soon, before Edo. Unless you want the other side to have an Ark of their own, that is."

Tyki was back to giving out pointers again. Sanity? What was that again?

He sighed. "In any case, you're not the type that can manage to stay uninvolved for long. If you're not actively looking for trouble, then that means trouble has to come and find you, and by default also me. I mean sure, if it'd be just Apocryphos, that'd be one thing, but−"

Ugh. Why? Just why?

"−But in any case, just think about it. Where do you want to start?"

-o0oOo0o-

Tyki had expected a lot of things. This one was not on the list. "Gang, this is Nuisance. Nuisance, my gang: Eeez, Momo, and Crack."

This was such a bad idea. Tyki had known this beforehand. But−

"Nuisance?" Crack chuckled. "What kind of name is that?"

The nuisance in question smiled. "I could ask you the same, Crack."

Yeah, and this was a situation that Tyki would have liked to avoid. But beggars couldn't be choosers and all that. "Yeah, whatever. Nuisance is, as you might figure, a great nuisance. But certain people would be very troubled if he managed to get himself killed, so…"

The smile was directed at Tyki next, gaining a sharper edge. "Hoh? So, you fancy yourself my guard dog then, Tyki-pet?"

His pet? No, but his minder, certainly. Besides− "You already have a guard dog, and I'm not vying for that position," Tyki said, determined to ignore the sniggers. Because Tyki already felt like the butt of the joke of the entire universe.

And really, Tyki could have avoided all this. So, why in the ever-loving Hell had he failed to do so?

Right. Because he had basically asked for it. Really, he ought to have known better.

On the other hand though, there was literally no telling as to what kind of trouble that little hellion might get up to if left to his own devices for long enough.

Then again, due to a sudden summons for a family meeting, Tyki was about to do just that; let the little hellion out of his sight. Hence the somewhat hurried introductions, because Tyki really had to get going.

-o0oOo0o-

Leaving the situation behind didn't exactly stop him from thinking about it though. Because Tyki was playing a dangerous game, and he knew that much for himself, thank you very much.

"Tyki," Road said, snatching the paper and holding it up for critical inspection. "These are all wrong."

Well, that was her own damned fault, because− "I suck at math. You do know that, right?"

"I know," Road said, frowning openly now. "But you even got 2 + 2 wrong."

"Hoh?" Tyki snatched the paper back to see for himself. "Well, I'll be damned."

Guess that served as proof as to just how much of a toll this whole situation was taking on him; he couldn't even do basic addition anymore.

"Tyki… You've been acting pretty weird as of late."

He frowned at her. "I don't think I've been acting any weirder than usual, but okay."

"Distracted."

And this was one of the reasons as to why Tyki greatly favoured hanging out with humans; there was no risk of them poking around inside his head, intentionally or otherwise. The only silver lining was that Wisely wasn't around yet. That would have been genuinely awful. "Nope, just bored out of my mind. Seriously though, if I'd known this was about doing your homework, I would have skipped this one."

Except he wouldn't have, because that would have given certain people semi-valid excuses to check up on him.

And whereas Tyki might have previously been concerned about Sheril learning about Tyki's human companions, his main priority had shifted towards ensuring that none of them learned about Allen. Or about Allen's identity.

Tyki had a nasty feeling that it might just be a question of time though.

-o0oOo0o-

So.

Tyki returned.

And then−

"We – me and Tim, that is – are going to swing by Italy for a bit. You're not exactly invited, but I thought you should know."

Italy. The Vatican was in Italy, and with all due likelihood, so was− "You better not be planning on swinging by the Vatican."

Because Tyki would rather not end up in a situation where he might be forced to explain to his family just how this had all come about. Really.

"Not the Vatican," the boy affirmed with a dismissive wave. "I've thought a lot about what you said, and I think that you might actually have a point."

Oh boy.

-o0oOo0o-

In the end, Tyki remained blissfully unaware of just what the boy had been up to in Italy for a long time. He had opted not to ask about it, since Allen was back in less than a week and in a far better mood than previously.

"So, we're thinking about swinging by Romania next. Wanna come?"

Yeah… No. "Pass."

"Are you sure? There's a castle."

A castle? Well, wasn't that just a big freaking clue as to which future exorcist the boy was planning on visiting next? "Definite pass. You were planning on seeing what would happen if I got bitten, weren't you?"

The boy didn't even bother denying it. "Come on, it'd be fun. Besides, there's quite a fair bit of stuff in that castle, and if we can convince him not to torch the place like last time, then there'd be at least a few things we could sell to boost our funds."

Funds. "What are you planning on doing with even more money? We can easily get what we need while we're on the ro−"

"More money can set your companions up with something better," Allen interrupted. "You've got a nomadic lifestyle, and I can understand that, but really, it probably wouldn't kill them to have an easier life, at least for a couple of months. And take Eeez to a doctor. I mean it."

Tyki honestly didn't know what to say to that.

-o0oOo0o-