A/N: In Annie's POV
Whole
I pace back and forth wondering how to tell Finnick this.
"Mama." I hear my one year old son say on the baby monitor.
I go upstairs and sees he is crying. He is holding onto the crib bars for support.
I pick him up and the whimpering stops.
"It's okay sweetie." I say and rocks him back and forth. I get him back to sleep and then leave the room.
I head back downstairs and continue to pace
I hear the door open.
"Annie." Finnick smiles. He wraps me up in his arms and kisses me.
"Hi." I smile
"You okay? You sound off." He says.
"Finnick I'm a terrible liar."
"I know." He smiles. "What don't you want to tell me?" He asks concerned.
"Umm." I say unsure how to say this.
"Annie you can tell me anything."
He says and kisses my forehead.
"I- I know but I'm not sure how you will react." I say.
"Are you okay? Are you having trouble being in reality and-
"No… not anymore than usual."
"Good." He says. "But what's wrong?"
"Okay Finnick here's the thing…" I pause not wanting to continue.
"Annie." He says gently and brushes hair off my shoulder.
I squint my eyes shut hoping that will make it better. Then I say it.
"I'm… I'm pregnant." I says softly.
I know this wouldn't be as big of a deal if I didn't tell him I didn't want to have another child. It wasn't like this at first I wanted my son to have a sibling. However I did get pregnant again, twice actually but I lost them. I didn't want to get pregnant again in case I lost it again. I didn't want to go through that again.
I thought Finnick and I were being careful in that department but I guess something happened and now I'm pregnant. Now I'm terrified. My initial reaction was happiness but then the thought of loosing another child kicked in and I felt terrified and sad.
Finnick hugs me and I open my eyes. Not knowing what to see, I see Finnick smiling.
"That's great news." He says.
"But Finnick-
"Don't worry nothing is going to happen."
"That's what you said last time." I whisper and grips his shirt.
I can feel Finnick's body stiffen while I say this. He probably remembers saying this when I told him I was pregnant after losing the first child. We were both happy but after a month things went south.
A few tears leave my eyes at the memory.
Finnick rubs my back and kisses the top of not. He's probably thinking of the right thing to say.
"I know." He says sadly.
"Then how can you say it now?" I whisper angrily.
"Because I know, no matter what happens you will have me." Finnick says. I know this and I know he will be able to put me back together but I don't want to fall apart again. My eyes are filling just at the thought.
"Finnick." I whisper.
He smiles.
"Don't worry Annie." He kisses my forehead "Just take it one day at a time."
I sniffle.
"Let's sit down." He says and leads me to the couch. I lean against him and grip his hand. "Annie I know the future is uncertain but we should be happy for this."
"I am but." I breathe in deeply then back out. "I don't want anything to happen." I move my hand to my stomach. "Not again."
Finnick places his hand on top of mine.
"Well Annie if it's meant to be it will happen." He kisses the top of my head. He laces his fingers with mine and runs them back and forth against her stomach.
"It won't be fair if it isn't." I whisper.
Finnick kisses the top of my head again.
"I know." Hey says and I look up at him. "But when that happens it's usually because nature knows it would be more painful if the child lives." Finnick says and kisses my forehead.
"Okay." I whisper.
"I love you Annie… Odair. If something does happen just remember you have me and we have our son."
"Yes we do." I say feeling sightly better.
"Where is he anyways?" Finnick says looking around.
"Sleeping. He did wake up but I got him back down." I say.
"Okay."
"He got really close to walking without help today." I smile.
"Really." He says smiling.
I nod.
"I have to be here if it happens." He says determined.
"What do you want me to push him down?" I tease
"No I'm just saying."
"Well he did say Dada before Mama."
"I know." He says smugly.
We hold onto one another for awhile.
"How is everything?" I ask because Finnick is working with Paylor and some of the other victors to ensure everything is still alright. It has only been two years. Lots of things still need fixing. District Four is not in bad shape unlike others.
"Fine, there is still mostly peace but Johanna says District Seven could use more help because it is still in pretty bad shape."
I nod wondering what he means but I'm too afraid to ask.
"Annie." He says.
"What?" I ask and turn to him.
"They asked me if I was willing to do something today but I wanted to run it by you first. However I don't know how comfortable I feel with it now learning that you're pregnant."
"What was it?"
"They wanted me to sort of go to the other Districts-
"No!" I shout. I clear my throat. "I mean I don't want you to leave because last time that happened you… almost died." I whisper.
"I know. I think they knew I would say no but they asked as a formality." Finnick says. "I didn't really want to go."
"Okay." I say.
"Besides if I did leave how else will I see Nick take his first steps."
"This is true." I say and we both smile.
I make frequent doctor appointments, more than necessary but I want to make sure everything is alright. I have lost other children and I'm taking every precaution that is possible.
I'm in the living room with Finnick and Nick. Nick has started to walk. He can do a few steps by himself. Finnick was here to see it.
I gasp as I feel a small movement coming from deep inside.
"What's wrong Annie?" Finnick asks worried.
I move my hand to my stomach which is now very visible.
"Annie?" Finnick asks worried again.
"I felt it." I say. "I can feel it moving." I say and smile
Finnick smiles too and walks over to me carry Nick in his arms.
"You did?" He says excited.
I nod.
"Yes." I say and can feel it again I grab Finnick's hand and place it with mine. I can tell he felt it when he smiles
He kisses me.
"Everything is going to be fine." He says.
"I know. I hope it stays this way." I say still unsure.
"It looks like it will." He says and kisses me again. "Are you sure you don't want to know what we are having?" Finnick asks but I don't want to know.
"I'm sure." I pause. "I don't want to know encase something happens. I can't become too excited Finnick." I say sadly.
I can tell by Finnick's face he didn't think this was the reason I didn't want to know maybe he thought I just wanted to be suprised.
"Okay. Whatever you want Annie but, I'm sure everything is going to be fine. It seems like everything is going just like it is supposed to be."
I nod
"Okay." I say.
I know this but I'm still afraid. I know the statistics of losing a child go down the further along you get but even if there is a one percent chance I will be worried.
"Besides we have another doctors appointment today." He kisses me.
"Mama." Nick says and puts his hand on her stomach.
"That's your brother or sister." Finnick says and kisses his cheek.
Nick claps his hands together in approval.
I smile kiss our son as well.
"Finnick!" I shout and he comes running downstairs.
"You okay?" He asks.
"I feel strange."
"Okay do you wanna go to the hospital?" He asks and I nod.
We take Nick and drop him off at my parents house because it is on the way.
"I'm sure you're fine Annie." He says. "I'm sure you're both fine." He says and rubs my stomach.
I grip his hand. I feel like I'm going into labor but it's almost a month before my due date.
They check me in and confirm that is want is happening. They give me an IV with this drug to try and slow the labor down or stop it altogether.
Finnick is holding my hand and tracing small circles with his thumb.
"It's okay Annie even if you do give birth right now-
"They aren't ready Finnick. This could cause problems."
"Annie I'm sure everything will be fine just breathe in then back out."
"Okay." I say after awhile.
They wait about a few hours and conclude that it isn't working that I'm going to give birth today. They want to do it via c-section in cause something is wrong. Which I'm sure there is.
I feel numb as it happens I hear them say it's a girl and briefly show her to me but then I feel hazy from the drugs and fall asleep.
I wake up in a hospital bed and see Finnick next to me and he smiles.
"Hi." He says and kisses my forehead.
I look around the room.
"Where's our daughter?" I ask and sit up but regret it because of the stitches from the surgery.
"Annie calm down for a minute, you aren't supposed to be sitting or walking yet." He says and readjusts the bed so it is at a ninety degree angle.
"Where is she?" I ask not caring. He doesn't say anything "Finnick." I press.
"Annie I need you to be calm when I tell you this." He says in his too gentle voice. The voice he uses right before he is going to tell me something I won't like.
"What? Where is she!" I shout this time.
"Annie, after she was born she had trouble breathing by herself."
"What?" I say and can feel myself about to cry.
"Don't worry she's alive. They had her taken to the NICU and have her hooked up to these machines to help her breathe. They say everything else seems fine but she has to stay here until she can breathe on her own."
"What?" I say again.
"They said because it was early not everything was fully developed yet. They say she is healthy otherwise and will be able to go home soon."
I start crying I don't know why maybe hearing that my daughter can't breathe by herself is scary. Especially since this might be the third child I will lose. Expect this one made it much further than the others.
"Shhhh Annie it's okay." Finnick says and pushes hair behind my ear. "Everything is going to be fine. After she is all better we get to go home. We get to take our daughter home and start to take care of her. Raise her and she can meet her brother."
"Why do I always mess up." I whimper.
"What do you mean?" He asks confused.
"You know with trying to have babies."
"Annie this isn't your fault these things happen all the time."
I sigh.
"Yeah but it just had to happen to Annie Cresta the crazy girl."
"Annie you aren't crazy and everything is going to be okay."
I sob out something unintelligent. Finnick sits on the bed next to me and hugs me.
"It's okay it's going to be alright Annie. Our daughter is in safe and very capable hands."
"I want to see her." I say
Finnick doesn't say anything.
"What?" I say as he wipes tears away.
"You can't."
"Why not?"
"You can't walk yet without hurting or removing the stitches and they can't bring her here from risk of infection." He says sadly. "You are supposed to be able to walk in the next couple days then you can see her."
"A couple of days." I whisper and a tear falls down my cheek and lands on my hand.
"It's okay Annie there are lots of doctors looking after her. I will go there to make sure she is alright and will give you updates."
I sniffle.
"Annie?" He says gently.
"What?" I say annoyed that he gets to see our daughter but I can't.
He smiles anyways.
"They keep asking for a name. I said I had to wait until my wife woke up. I know you said if we had a girl you wanted to name it after your sister. Is this still true?" He asks.
I do. My sister died not from the war but from the Hunger Games. She was a tribute and obviously died. My mother thought she was cursed because both of her daughters got called but one came back.
"Yes." I say.
Finnick smiles and kisses my cheek.
"Hilly it is." Finnick says.
My mom is into names with two syllables and repeating letters maybe it is because her name is like that 'Jenna'.
"Miss. Hilly Odair."
Finnick smiles because I did the same thing when our son was born except it was 'Mister. Finnick Odair' there is no jr or the second mostly because we knew we were going to call him Nick.
"That's our daughter." Finnick says. "I'll tell someone so they can make it all official." He smiles.
I grasp his hand tightly though.
"Is something wrong? Do you hurt Annie?" He asks nervous.
"No I just don't want to be alone."
He smiles and brushes hair from my face.
"Your Mom is here. I can get her for you."
"Then who's watching Nick?"
"Your Dad. Who else?"
"Well I didn't know if they were both here." I smile and he kisses me.
"I'll tell one of the nurses the name. I want to stay with Hilly for a bit too. Tell her Mommy is okay." He smiles.
"Okay make sure to say I love you."
"Don't worry I already have been." He smiles. He gets my Mom and then kisses me "I love you Annie." He says.
"You too." I say and he leaves.
"Annie, how do you feel sweetie?" She asks.
"I don't know how to answer that." I say honestly.
I'm in a hospital and had to have surgery to deliver my daughter. As soon as I wake up I find our daughter can't breathe and then I get told I can't see her.
When you have a baby it is supposed to be a happy and joyous occasion. I remember that feeling when Nick was born but this time I'm just nervous and anxious because I can't see her. I don't even know what she looks like.
"Okay." She says and holds my hand.
"Have you seen her?" I whisper.
She nods.
"Even though it is supposed to just be parents the whole victor think still works. Besides, you can't yet."
"Does she look okay?" I ask. I only saw her for a few minutes before some drugs kicked in and my memory is foggy. Besides, she was probably covered in blood and other stuff.
"She looks beautiful. Finnick and I both agree that she is going to look like you."
I nod.
"Is she small?"
She nods.
"As the weeks pass though she will be at a normal new born weight. Then she can go home."
I swallow hard.
"Is Nick okay?" I ask trying to distract myself that I can't see my daughter and that she can't breathe by herself.
She nods.
"Your Dad and I have been taking care of him. Did you know he can say papa and and nana." She smiles.
I nod.
"Yes he's getting better at speaking, did you know he can walk now? He is still woozy but he can." I say proudly.
She nods.
"I did." She kisses my cheek. "Annie." She says.
"Yes?" I say and turn to her.
"Everything is going to be fine. I know it might not seem that way now, but it will."
I hug her.
"I just want to see her." I whisper.
"I know sweetie." She kisses my forehead. "You will soon. You know Nick keeps asking for you. He misses you maybe if you see him you will feel a little better."
"Okay." I say and smile. "I'll call Dad and tell him to come." She smiles and heads out of the room to make a phone call.
I'm with nothing but my thoughts. I start crying.
My Mom comes back and rushes to my side and hugs me.
"It's okay Annie." I lean into her chest. Probably twenty minutes later my Dad comes with Nick in his arms
"Mama!" He says as soon as he sees me. My dad hands him to me and I smile as Nick hugs me.
"Mama." Nick says again.
"I missed you baby." I say and kiss his forehead.
I hold him and feel better, a lot better. I would feel this good if Finnick was with me.
He giggles.
"Sweetie you have a baby sister now." I say and kiss his forehead.
He smiles and wraps his arms around my neck.
I kiss him.
"I love you baby." I whisper.
"Love you."
My parents are smiling at me maybe because I look better or maybe because they like seeing me with my son.
"Dada." I hear and look up and see he is pointing at Finnick.
"Hi buddy." He smiles.
After awhile they go home.
I fall asleep with Finnick holding me.
I wake up and am more mobile. I'm hoping I can see Hilly today. I'm supposed to get discharged in two days.
Finnick comes back and kisses me.
"They're saying she can probably go home in two weeks." He says.
"That's good right?"
"That she gets to go home, yes it is."
"I meant the whole two week thing is that normal?"
"Every baby is different Annie." He says and I nod
A doctor comes in and asks me to do exercises to see how I am doing. After we are finished he says I can see my baby.
I take Finnick's hand and we walk very slowly to the NICU.
When we get there I see all these babies in a clear box. Finnick tells me they are incubators to control body heat.
He leads us to the incubator that has our daughter in it. There are other parents in here. I get a glance and notice all these scary tubes and am nervous to see what Hilly will look like.
She has a few tubs Finnick explains that one is a feeding tube and the others are to help her breathing.
I nod.
She doesn't look as bad as I thought she would, which makes me feel better.
Finnick has his arm securely wrapped around my waist.
I asked Finnick if I could hold her but the nurses said not yet.
"She's so small." I say. I said this when Nick was born but this is a different type of small.
Finnick nods.
"She's gotten a little bigger in the past few days." He says.
"She's beautiful." I say.
"Of course she is." Finnick kisses my forehead. "She looks like you Annie."
"I don't know." I say.
"Nick looks like me so that means Hilly will look like you."
"It doesn't work that way Finnick." I say.
"I have a feeling it will besides, she has your eyes."
"Finnick we both have green eyes."
"Yes but yours are darker, they are like emeralds." He says.
I smile and lean against him.
"We are parents again." I say and he smiles.
"Yes we are."
"I love you." I say to Finnick and then to Hilly.
I wish I could hold her and kiss her forehead.
I get discharged the next day and Finnick and I come everyday to see Hilly who is getting better and I can tell she has gotten bigger. We also make sure to spend enough time at home to see Nick because he is very important to us too.
Before I know it Hilly is well enough to go home. We take her home. I walk through the door.
"This is home Hilly." I say and kiss her forehead. I walk to the living room where I see my parents and Nick.
"We are gonna meet your older brother." I whisper and she yawns. "Big yawn." I say and kiss her forehead.
Finnick and I sit on the couch next to my mom.
"Nick." Finnick says and he walks over here. "Do you wanna meet your sister?" He asks. Nick nods and Finnick picks him up.
"This is your little sister." He says
He giggles and spends a great deal looking at Hilly who is slowly starting to fall asleep.
Finnick takes her from me as I say thank you for watching Nick and goodbye to my parents.
I go back to the living room and hold Nick in my lap and Finnick cradles Hilly.
"This is our new family." I say and kiss the top of Nick's head.
"Yes it is." Finnick looks at me and smiles.
"I love them so much." I say.
"Me too but you don't want any more correct?" Finnick asks and I nod.
"Why are you asking?"
"I sort of remedied that problem so I was hoping that was still your answer."
"I see." I say and kiss him. I smile.
"What?" He asks.
"What would you have done if I said I wanted more kids."
"There is a way to get it reversed although it doesn't always work."
"I see." I say and watch Finnick hold Hilly. "Finnick." I say.
"Yes?" He says not taking his eyes off our daughter.
"I was just thinking how lucky I am to have you. How lucky I am for everything you have ever done for me and lucky that you came back to me."
"I feel the same way Annie." He says and kisses me. "I love the life we have made for each other. I'm glad I can spend the rest of my days with you, Nick, and now Hilly." He kisses her forehead. "I wouldn't want to change anything about this life. In the past I wanted nothing more to do that but now." He smiles. "I feel whole."
I smile and kiss him.
"I love you and I feel whole too. I love the life we have and I can't imagine anything else. I don't even remember what it was like before I knew you." I say and he kisses me.
"I love you."
"I love you too." I smile and kiss him, Nick, and Hilly.