AN: A short piece I came up with on the spur-of-the-moment. There'll be a longer one later this week or next week if I have time.
"Cars"
Name: Oboro (1899)
Reason: Cars
Perpetrator: Yamato (1940), Iowa (1942)
Victims: None (Yet)
CC: HMS Hermione (1893), Admiralty at Yokosuka, Commander-in-Chief at China Station
Cars cannot fly.
That is all.
Oboro
From: Iowa
To: Oboro, Yamato
Subject: RE: Oboro's Revelation
CC: Hermione, Admiralty at Yokosuka, Commander-in-Chief at China Station
That is right, they cannot fly!
Love and xoxo,
Iowa, BB-61 of the United States Navy
From: Hermione
To: Oboro, Yamato, Iowa
Subject: RE: An Anglo-Japanese Observation
CC: Admiralty at Yokosuka, Commander-in-Chief at China Station
Dear Oboro:
What an astute observation, I congratulate you.
Her Majesty's Ship Hermione, Astraea-Class Protected Cruiser
From: Admiralty at Yokosuka
To: Hermione, Yamato, Iowa
Subject: RE: Not Again
CC: Oboro, Commander-in-Chief at China Station
…Were you two throwing cars again?
Didn't we already make it clear a few months ago that just because your shells weigh roughly the same as compact 4-wheel cars, doesn't mean you can expend them in training exercises?
That last time one of you two missed, all of Tokyo thought the Ministry of Defense was conducting trials to see if we could be the first ones in the world to launch a car into space without rockets.
-Arima
From: Yamato
To: Hermione, Iowa, Admiralty at Yokosuka
Subject: RE: We did nothing wrong!
CC: Oboro, Commander-in-Chief at China Station
To those concerned:
I, Yamato, would never violate a rule.
Rest assured Admiral Gōtō, once you enunciated disapproval at such alternative ammunition, I swore to never touch cars for such purposes ever again.
I can say with certainty that my American comrade is also innocent of such crimes.
Battleship Yamato
From: Oboro
To: Hermione, Iowa, Yamato
Subject: RE: But you did
CC: Admiralty at Yokosuka, Commander-in-Chief at China Station
That's right, you agreed to stop throwing cars.
But that's not what I said.
I didn't say you were throwing cars.
I said you were flying them.
As in you lot tried galloping a vintage Model T Ford down the runway before it unceremoniously skidded and rolled over from the burden of its passengers.
Oboro
From: Hermione
To: Oboro, Yamato, Iowa
Subject: RE: An Anglo-Japanese Observation
CC: Admiralty at Yokosuka, Commander-in-Chief at China Station
In my defense, I thought it wouldn't be much different from tinkering with the Ford Anglia.
Her Majesty's Ship Hermione, Astraea-Class Protected Cruiser
From: Commander-in-Chief at China Station
To: Hermione, Iowa, Yamato
Subject: RE: Not Again!
CC: Admiralty at Yokosuka, Oboro
You mean the same one that you flew into PRC airspace and nearly started a confrontation with Liaoning?
Thank heavens for Aurora for getting us out of that one…
GORDON
From: Hermione
To: Oboro, Yamato, Iowa
Subject: RE: An Anglo-Japanese Observation
CC: Admiralty at Yokosuka, Commander-in-Chief at China Station
Sir:
The Ford Anglia was completely remote controlled; Liaoning had nothing to worry about. This one the other hand…well…
Her Majesty's Ship Hermione, Astraea-Class Protected Cruiser
From: Oboro
To: Hermione, Iowa, Yamato
Subject: RE: Confession
CC: Admiralty at Yokosuka, Commander-in-Chief at China Station
So you do admit that you three tried flying an automobile?
Oboro
From: Yamato
To: Oboro
Subject: RE: Your Question
CC:, Hermione, Iowa, Admiralty at Yokosuka, Commander-in-Chief at China Station
Dear Oboro:
I, Yamato, can neither confirm nor deny that statement.
Battleship Yamato
From: Commander-in-Chief at China Station
To: Hermione
Subject: RE: Not Again!
CC: Iowa, Yamato, Oboro, Admiralty at Yokosuka
Why is it that whenever there is trouble it is always you three?
GORDON
From: Admiralty at Yokosuka
To: Hermione, Yamato, Iowa
Subject: RE: Not Again
CC: Oboro, Commander-in-Chief at China Station
I believe a roster reassignment is in good order. Perhaps something philosophical to keep our wise protected cruiser's mind occupied for starters, Charlie?
-Arima