AN: This is technically a GFL-KC crossover, so you probably won't get the references unless you play both games. I included a bit more familiar KC/KC-canon characters than usual on the KC-side of things here as well.
"Mental Shock"
Name: Combined Admiralty List Serve
Reason: Interdimensional Visitor PSA
Perpetrator: None!
Victims: No One-We Hope!
CC: International Shipgirl List Serve, Commandant of Sector 09, Kryuger of Griffon-Kryuger, Persica
Greetings All:
No worries, this isn't a complaint form being filed! Since you all have grown accustomed to us sending important notices this way however, we decided that we might as well make an announcement here.
Over the next few weeks, we'll be having visitors from another dimension conducting a very important mission. For obvious reasons, the exact details will remain confidential; those who may become involved in the operation have already been contacted and kept up-to-speed with the situation. Despite their severe misgivings about the benefits to this agreement, most governments have also consented to the provisions of the agreement. It is up to you to keep the peace.
They will not be here for long. Once the they have fulfilled their objectives, they will return to their original universe. This isn't the first time we have had long-distance visitors, so we trust you will be on your utmost best behavior.
As to who exactly our guests are, they are a special type of android referred to as Tactical Dolls employed by the Company G&K. They are apparently a well-reputed paramilitary force in their homeland, and we have confidence that they will honor their credentials. Nevertheless, while these T-Dolls and their superiors are highly-trained and professional, we cannot stress enough that they are not of warship strength. If they ask if they can do training exercises with you or against you, please politely reject their offer. There will probably be nothing left of them to salvage if you hit them with a 16in/406mm shell. Likewise, please do not try and conduct first aid on them with repair buckets. Using their provisions in lieu of your own while on sortie is also strictly forbidden; Helian has warned us that resupply will be difficult even with the tech available at their fingertips.
If you have any further questions, please feel free to reply to this email with your concerns; we are more than willing to use this as an unofficial forum for airing grievances. Although Mr. Kryuger has informed us that this is a trying time for G&K, he also emphasized that he is more than willing to answer any complaints you may have.
G&K has also supplied us with a digital informational brochure that gives readers a crash-course history on the context of this mission and its importance.
Thank you for your cooperation,
The Admiralty
Post Script: For those working with redacted at any point, please note that contact will be difficult because redacted redacted redacted. Also please forward any concerning news you may hear about them; apparently they get wiped out often.
From: Iowa (BB-61)
To: Combined Admiralty List Serve
Subject: Androids? Oh my!
CC: Commandant of Sector 09, Kryuger of Griffon-Kryuger, Persica, International Shipgirl List Serve
These Tactical Dolls...do they have failsafe mechanisms built into their systems? Like, say for whatever reason a virus or illness hacks into their system and they go all evil, is there anything you can do to shut the system down safely without hurting them?
Because I'm just envisioning this moment as Schwarzenegger's dream come true! Not that they wouldn't be exciting, of course!
Love and xoxo,
Iowa, BB-61 of the United States Navy
From: Kasuga (1862)
To: Combined Admiralty List Serve
Subject: Are You Serious
CC: Commandant of Sector 09, Kryuger of Griffon-Kryuger, Persica, International Shipgirl List Serve
With no offense intended to Mr. Kryuger, am I the only one having alarm bells ringing by the sordid state of affairs in their dimension? I thought aliens-who-wiped-out-90%-of-humanity-and-started-fooling-with-the-past-because-they-got-bored-so-they-created-fox-girls-and-maids was bad, but aliens-who-crash-landed-in-Russia-and-elsewhere-and-may-or-may-not-have-developed-a-deadly-unholy-disease-virus-that-wipes-out-most-of-humanity takes the cake.
I have a baaad feeling about this.
His Imperial Japanese Majesty's Ship Kasuga
Formerly the Anglo-Chinese dispatch vessel "Keangsoo"
From: Spanish Flu Survivors' Association
To: Combined Admiralty List Serve
Subject: Are You Serious
CC: Commandant of Sector 09, Kryuger of Griffon-Kryuger, Persica, International Shipgirl List Serve
Greetings Sirs and Madams:
We heard that in G&K's home dimension the world is plagued with a terrible disease called ELID. It apparently is highly contagious and mutates humans into primitive beings, and was triggered by some misplaced alien tech.
Given its deadly nature, we wanted to know if there were any quarantine measures put in place to prevent T-Dolls from unwittingly spreading the malady from one realm to the next. Many of us remember unwittingly spreading the Spanish Flu during and shortly after the Great War, and would not want another such tragedy happening again. If humans must die young, it would be best for them to die nobly and with honor, not inglorious of some disease they caught.
Mr. Kryuger, perhaps you should also consider doing the same upon the T-Dolls' return home; perhaps we have illnesses not native to your dimension and we could make ELID even more malicious.
We hope you will consider our fears,
A Group of Concerned Shipgirls
From: New Jersey (BB-62)
To: Combined Admiralty List Serve
Subject: WTF Are They
CC: Commandant of Sector 09, Kryuger of Griffon-Kryuger, Persica, International Shipgirl List Serve
Are we fucking sure these are androids and not Akagis in disguise?
I took one of the new arrivals...Waugh...Wah...Wa...right, WA2000, out to visit a supermarket, since y'know I don't exactly think the selection in a post-apocalyptic foodmart is exactly great (plus, G&K is based in our world's Russia, no? Heh, don't think the Ruskies can beat our food selection). Surprisingly, she was unimpressed by candy bars, fresh produce, donuts, or even pie (who the hell doesn't like pie?), but the android started turning an unusual shade of red as we passed the ice cream section.
Seeing that ice cream is pretty cheap and I was honestly in the mood for a scoop, I offered to buy her a few gallons, to which she tentatively replied "maybe." Taking this as a hint to leave her to her own devices, I pretended to round the aisle just to see her make a beeline for the nearest cart and empty the entire freezer of chocolate ice cream.
When I stared blankly at her, she nonchalantly (or at least tried to) claimed that she was "saving it for later."
In a way, I'm rather glad I didn't mention that most of us larger American shipgirls are equipped with icecream machines, or else she'd probably try to eat us (and not in that sense)...
-Big J
P.S.: Apparently while I was typing this she went back and emptied another two stores of their ice cream stock. The dorm's freezer is now so packed I don't think it can even fit in the Panama Canal. Is there no ice cream in all of Russia, Kryuger?
From: Matsushima
To: Combined Admiralty List Serve
Subject: Re:Unusual Tastes
CC: Commandant of Sector 09, Kryuger of Griffon-Kryuger, Persica, International Shipgirl List Serve, Hōshō
We haven't experienced any surge in ice cream sales in these parts (is it because several of our flavors have wasabi added to them? Don't ask, it's one of Irako's guilty pleasures), but for whatever reason pastries have been flying off the shelves like hotcakes.
Now, this is kind of a strange phenomenon because I only recently taught Hōshō how to make French-style cakes (so they are, to put it diplomatically, still very much a WIP) and they honestly weren't selling very well, but now every morning on the hour our little bakery is swarmed with T-Dolls begging for a "slice of cake." I assume it's a delicacy of some sorts that is difficult to obtain?
Also, Hōshō did something really, really stupid and almost got herself killed today. Feeling guilty over the T-Dolls being "deprived" of cake, she promised that Mamiya, Irako, and herself would work hard to make sure every single one of them would go home with at least 3 full cakes in their hands. If it wasn't for my swift thinking, she would have been crushed to death beneath the mob of androids hailing her as their "goddess."
Moral of the Story? There's something strange about robots and baked items.
Matsushima
From: Akagi
To: Combined Admiralty List Serve
Subject: What a cool idea!
CC: Commandant of Sector 09, Kryuger of Griffon-Kryuger, Persica, International Shipgirl List Serve
Hey Admiral Gōtō!
I was talking with one the T-Dolls earlier this morning, and imagine my surprise when I found myself surrounded by four exact copies of herself who all began talking at once with me!
Apparently to improve battle efficiency, androids can be linked up with each other by removing their processing cores. This means that only the original unit will be capable of "independent" thought; however, whatever the T-Doll does, it will be amplified by a magnitude of 5.
Can you imagine the uses of this on the battlefield! Imagine how many aircraft we could launch at once if there were five copies of each kanmusu. Or shells. Or torpedoes. Or missiles. The possibilities are endless!
Imagine how much more delicious meals could be too if you could eat savor the bites 5 different times…
mmm….Yamato's cooked meals...
From: Kaga
To: Combined Admiralty List Serve
Subject: Sorry
CC: Commandant of Sector 09, Kryuger of Griffon-Kryuger, Persica, International Shipgirl List Serve
My apologies for my fellow CarDiv1's wild tangent. I assure you that the pride of the carriers is capable of professional and non-food-driven thought.
Kaga
From: Texas (BB-35)
To: Combined Admiralty List Serve
Subject: WHAT IN TARNATION
CC: Commandant of Sector 09, Kryuger of Griffon-Kryuger, Persica, International Shipgirl List Serve
Howdy and Hello:
Who on earth thinks it's a great idea to yodel into a megaphone at MAXIMUM VOLUME in the MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT?
It wasn't even a good yodel, either.
Some of us need to sleep, y'all!
BB-35
From: Ashigara (1928)
To: Combined Admiralty List Serve
Subject: Literal Interpretation
CC: Commandant of Sector 09, Kryuger of Griffon-Kryuger, Persica, International Shipgirl List Serve
Hehehe…
So I may have explained to a visiting, bright-eyed T-Doll with reddish-blonde hair the nature of our enemies and made the offhand comment that "the only good abyssal is a dead one" as well as "the corpse of an abyssal always smells sweet." I was just quoting some Western sayings I remember from my travels in Europe, but I think she sorta...well...took me seriously.
Remember that abyssal princess of Singapore that kept giving us trouble? The one who kept summoning those dyson battleships that gave us a headache?
Well, I found her head (sans eyeballs) on a pike outside my door this morning, with the note: "Gone Fishing. Want to go back for another pair."
She also left a repair bill on Admiral Yonehara's desk, but we're both illiterate in the significance of her resource expenses. I hope it's not a lot, but given that T-Dolls shouldn't be hunting abyssals for sport I'm assuming a 100,000 parts fee is very steep.
For Victory,
Ashigara
From: Hōshō
To: Combined Admiralty List Serve
Subject: Is M4A1-san okay?
CC: Commandant of Sector 09, Kryuger of Griffon-Kryuger, Persica, International Shipgirl List Serve
Hello Persica-san:
Your AR Team was in town visiting Sasebo today while en route to the Southern Pacific, and as a pick-me-up I tried baking them some piping hot pastries to keep their spirits up. As they're all American T-Dolls (they are, right? I'm told their weaponry is from the United States), I asked Johnston advice what to bake for them, and she recommended cinnamon buns.
The thing is, when I gifted M4A1-san them, she gave me a really weird look. Is she allergic to them? Can she eat them?
I hope she doesn't think poorly of me…
Hōshō
From: Enterprise (CV-6)
To: Combined Admiralty List Serve
Subject: Nightmares
CC: Commandant of Sector 09, Kryuger of Griffon-Kryuger, Persica, International Shipgirl List Serve
I am not afraid of many things. I have soldiered on when friends around me have fallen. I stared gazed into the jaws of death with tired acceptance, not fear. I have felt the gnawing agony of being forced to stand alone away from home and warmth. I have watched people I know and love disappear into dust before my very eyes due to circumstances out of my control.
But that girl, that thing, with her flowing dirty-blonde hair and twinkling green eyes, she terrifies me.
It's that wicked smile of hers. Normally, I would find such smiles beautiful; for humans it's an expression of joy after all. I do love it when Father has the energy and optimism to turn his serious gaze into a playful grin.
This smile is different, however. It's like the Cheshire Cat's grin, but even more predatory. It's the expression of someone up-to-no-good and in the middle of putting an evil plot to the test. It's the smile someone makes when they're caught red-handed doing something wrong, but instead of foiling their plans you've merely fallen for their trap.
Her coy nature does not help matters; she giggles often, and sometimes for absolutely no reason. The last time I remembered someone being that easily humored, it was back when a certain young fast battleship fell heads-over-heels in love with Father, and was covertly trying to seduce him.
I am told that my fears about M1903 Springfield are entirely unfounded, but every time we look at each other I can't help but feel uneasy. She has no need to flash me a knowing wink everytime we pass.
There's something rotten in the State of Denmark, and I want to uncover it before it's too late.
I'm sure there's something wrong; there just has to be.
-Enterprise, CV-6 of the USN
From: Tashkent
To: Combined Admiralty List Serve
Subject: HELP
CC: Commandant of Sector 09, Kryuger of Griffon-Kryuger, Persica, International Shipgirl List Serve
Hail to You, Friends from Another Dimension!
I am sorry for the message in all-capslock, but this a very important request that is stressing out all the VMF shipgirls (and shipguys):
IS THERE ANY WAY TO MAKE AK-12 OPEN HER EYES WHEN SHE TALKS?
It's really unnerving being in the middle of a heated conversation and having AK-12 nonchalantly stroll up and chime in with that stupid smug smile on her lips (yet not even once lifting an eyelid). Also, how on earth can she see things with pinpoint accuracy? Whenever we make rounds about Kronstadt, without fail she skilfully alters her course as if she was a trooper on parade. WITH HER EYES SHUT. Even the most prepared shipgirl with the latest radar headset would be hard-pressed to make such a maneuver perfectly. By Stalin's mustache, if every soldier had her capabilities the Great Patriotic War would have been over in minutes, and the Abyssal War in seconds.
Are her eyes real? How can she determine if her surroundings are real if her eyes aren't real?
Alternatively, can you tell her to be more expressive with her mouth? The fact that she's always smiling makes us fear that she's only one step away from going "well, here I go a-killing again," going postal, and making Enterprise's infamous "stroll" seem tame.
Thanks!
Tashkent
From: Kirishima
To: Combined Admiralty List Serve
Subject: Simulations
CC: Commandant of Sector 09, Kryuger of Griffon-Kryuger, Persica, International Shipgirl List Serve
One of the T-Dolls keeps muttering "all according to simulations" whenever she conducts live-training exercises on base. Is there any way to get her to stop? I don't know how it works in your world, but I am quite certain that the environment around us is very, very real.
Kirishima
From: Nachi
To: Combined Admiralty List Serve
Subject: Prohibition
CC: Commandant of Sector 09, Kryuger of Griffon-Kryuger, Persica, International Shipgirl List Serve
Admiral Gōtō:
When you said you were going to crack down on my drinking habits, you weren't kidding! Heh, I know I should have cut the alcohol back a few months ago, but imagine my surprise when I went to check out my secret hiding spot this morning and everything was completely gone! Not even the several cases of Jack Daniels that I "bought" from Barb were left! I know a shipgirl didn't drink it all because not a single soul was hungover today, and I highly doubt that any T-Doll could possibly outdrink me, be it under or over the table!
I just want to say kudos for trying to push me in the right direction, and I hope you do the same to the few other recovering drinkers on base!
Nachi
From: Midway (CV-41)
To: Combined Admiralty List Serve
Subject: Shooting
CC: Commandant of Sector 09, Kryuger of Griffon-Kryuger, Persica, International Shipgirl List Serve
STOP SHOOTING UP THE BASE IN THE NAME OF SATING YOUR HONOR! THIS ISN'T THE WILD WEST, GO DO YOUR DUELS ELSEWHERE BEFORE I DUEL YOU WITH MY JET FIGHTERS!
-Midway