A/N: Contains Mockingjay spoilers
In Finnick's POV
Better
"Mmmh." I groan and wake up. I look around and see I'm in a hospital.
How did I get here? I think confused. The last thing I remember was getting attacked by mutts.
I move slightly and notice something strange. I'm on so many pain meds I probably didn't realize. I move my hand to the place where my right leg should be but I just feel bed sheet. I have a small part of my upper calf but other than that…
I hear a moaning noise before I can fully process what is going on. I see the moans are coming from Annie. My wife. I smile at the thought.
Her face hits the side of the chair and she opens her eyes. She rubs drool off her chin and looks around confused.
She briefly looks my way.
"You're awake." She says and is suddenly next to me. "They said you would be okay but…"
"Annie what happened?" I ask.
"I was told you were with Katniss and…"
"The war, is it over?" I ask.
She nods.
"Both Coin and Snow are dead." She says and runs her fingers through my hair.
I sigh in relief. Obviously for Snow but there was something about Coin that always made me worry.
"How did she die?" I ask trying not to ask the obvious question that is lingering in the air.
"Katniss shot her with an arrow at what was supposed to be Snow's execution ceremony."
"Why? Why did she kill her when-"
"You know why Finnick." She says gently. She's right I do know why. "You spent more time with Coin than I did and it was obvious. Her intentions were good… to free the District's but… the main goal and how she achieved it was…" She clears her throat "Katniss killed Coin because Katniss knew…it would be worse if she let her live. She knew Coin was worse than Snow." She says and runs her fingers through my hair.
I nod. I'm only partially listening to her. I'm starting to twirl the sheets in my hand.
"Finnick." She says and rubs my shoulder.
"Yes?" I say.
"You'll be okay." She says and hugs me.
"How?" I whisper.
"You just will." She kisses my forehead.
"That's not a good enough answer Annie." I growl.
She combs her fingers through my hair.
"It's okay." She whispers and presses her forehead to mine. "It's okay."
I wrap my arms around her and lean into her chest.
"You're okay." She says and rubs my back. I'm sitting but feel like I'm falling because I'm lopsided.
I start crying.
"Annie." I whimper.
"You're okay." She says and kisses the top of my head.
I don't know how many times she says this or how long I cry but it doesn't matter because I have Annie.
I look up and press my forehead to hers. She wipes away my tears and kisses my cheeks.
"I love you." She says.
"I love you too." I say.
She combs her fingers through my hair.
"We get to go home as soon as you are stable enough." She whispers and kisses my cheek.
I nod.
"How long will that be?" I whisper after awhile.
"I don't think much longer." She smiles and moves hair from my eyes. "But Finnick-"
"What?" I say with an edge to my voice.
"They want to talk with you-"
I sigh.
"What about?" I say confused.
She presses her lips together so they are forming a tight line. She always does this when she is about to say something that will upset me. "A replacement or prosthetic for you." She says and kisses the top of my head
I sigh.
"Finnick it's okay." She says gently.
"No it's not." I whisper.
She takes my left hand and holds it in both of hers. I look at her and she is smiling. One of those famous Annie smiles that makes my heart melt.
"It's going to be okay Finnick."
"I can't do anything anymore Annie." I mutter.
"Yes you can." She kisses my cheek.
"Ann-"
"No." She kisses my forehead. "I'm not going to let you mope around and feel sorry for yourself." She kisses my cheek. "This is going to be different but it will be okay."
I smile sadly.
She kisses my forehead.
"They have really advanced medical stuff here Finnick." She kisses my forehead. "You'll be okay besides."
I sigh.
"Besides what?" I grumble
She smiles and combs my hair
"At least you're alive." She says.
I half smile.
"There is that." I say numbly.
She swallows hard.
"I got told otherwise. They told me you died." She whispers and looks down.
"Oh." I whisper.
I can't imagine being told Annie is dead.
"Well thank god that wasn't true." I say and she smiles.
"There it is, there's the Finnick charm."
I smile and kiss her.
"It never went away."
"I know." She smiles.
I clear my throat.
"Seriously though Annie... I can't walk or run… swim... stand. " My mind starts counting things you need two legs for and it's a lot. "I can't do normal things by myself-"
"Finnick-"
"Shower, go to the bathroom, walk, stand up, probably sit down-
"Finnick." She puts both of her hands on my cheeks and leans her forehead against mine. "You're gonna be fine. You can learn how to do that stuff again. Okay?" She says gently.
I don't say anything.
"Okay?" She asks and kisses my cheek.
I swallow hard and nod slightly.
She runs her fingers through my hair and it's quite for a long time.
Annie clears her throat.
"There's this one type that's really fancy and-"
I sigh.
"Finnick." She says gently and kisses me. I look towards her. "I know this is scary and a big change but it will be okay." She hugs me. "You have me and I have you." She kisses my neck. "Okay?"
"Okay." I whisper and wrap my arms around her. "I love you." I say and let a few tears escape.
"I love you too." She says.
"Are you sure you don't want to stay in the hospital a little longer the recommended-"
"Annie I just want to go home." I say gently.
"But-"
"You heard the doctors all the stuff I need is in Four. They talked with a doctor and everything about rehab and regular check ups." I say.
"I don't know Finnick… the surgery they did on you… it's all advanced... so is some of the rehab. I think-"
"Annie." I say gently. "They do this all the time. If they say I can leave. I can leave." I say and kiss her cheek. "Besides." I put my hand on her growing belly "Don't you want our child to be born in Four?" I ask and rub my hand back and forth. She's around five months pregnant which means we've been here for roughly five months and the war has been over for roughly five months.
I wonder what it is like out there. I'm tired of being underground in thirteen.
"I want them to be born at home but I think Daddy's health is a little more important." She smiles and places her hand on top of mine.
I smile.
"I'm fine Annie." I kiss her forehead. "I don't have a shooting pain anymore. The nerves must be adjusting and doing things by myself comes easier now." I say and smile. I'm still not used to not having a leg… well a real one.
I got the high end fancy stuff you basically get a bionic limb. It looks like it and I can even wiggle my toes. It's nice the only catch is the painful surgery and that the recovery time can be, at the very least, a year.
Before the surgery they warn you that it might be the worst pain you have experienced. They have to hook up every single nerve ending to the prosthetic so it can work with your nervous system. So it can act like a leg. The surgery lasted hours and I will admit I was screaming out in pain for a good chunk of it. But, with this prosthetic I feel somewhat normal.
She smiles.
"Okay." She says warily and rubs her hand back and forth on her stomach.
"Annie we could ask the doctor agin if you like." I say.
Her face brightens when I say this.
"That's a great idea." She smiles.
So we do just that. The doctor said it was fine if I went home. He did give me all this medication and Annie wrote down the directions on how and when to take it.
"Okay you heard the man we can leave." I say and she rolls her eyes.
"Okay let's go to the train station." She says. "Stand up by yourself." She says knowing I was going to ask for her help.
I do it feels like glass is breaking but the pain subsides after a few steps and everything seems fine. Except the speed I walk and the clunky noise.
"You okay?" She asks and rubs my back.
"I'm fine. You?" I ask because I am also worried about her maybe it is because she is carrying our child.
"I'm fine." She says and then laces her fingers with mine.
We get on the train. The train ride seems to go by too slow. I press my head to the window and look at the stars. I wonder if these same stars are shining in District Four now.
"Finnick." I hear Annie's raspy voice. She just woke up. It's still the dead of night. She went to bed hours ago while I have been looking out at the sky hoping we will be home soon. It is apparently a three day train ride.
"Yes?" I say and walk towards her.
She swallows hard and her face looks pale.
I lay down next to her.
"What's wrong?" I ask.
"I don't know." She whispers and moves her hand to her stomach.
"Do you feel sick?" I whisper into her hair because she has had her fair share of that.
She shakes her head.
"Does something feel wrong?" I ask worried and place my hand on top of hers.
"No." She says and continues to rub her hand back and forth on her stomach.
"Just a bad dream?" I whisper and kiss her temple.
She nods.
"I also wanted you close." She says.
She shivers.
"You cold?" I whisper and kiss her shoulder.
She nods.
I stand up and get a blanket and put it on top of her then get back under the covers.
"Better?" I ask.
She nods her head.
"Good." I say and kiss her forehead.
She takes my hand and places it back on her stomach.
I kiss the top of her head again.
"Can't believe we did this." She whispers into her pillow.
"What?" I ask and move my hand in small circles on her stomach.
"This." She says and places her hand on top of mine.
I smile.
"I know. Pretty amazing."
"I never thought." She pauses.
"Never thought what?" I ask and kiss her cheek.
"That this would be possible."
"Me too." I say.
"I always thought-"
She rolls over so I can see her face.
She looks sad.
"Annie what's wrong?" I ask concerned.
"You're doing better." She says sadly.
"And your sad about that?" I tease knowing this isn't the answer.
"No." She shakes her head. "The war is over… no more Snow… you're doing better, a lot better… then there's this." She moves her hand back and forth on her stomach.
"What about this?" I ask concerned she seems so happy about the baby.
"Something bad is going to happen." She whispers. "Everything is too good right now." She whispers and her chin starts trembling.
I kiss her forehead.
"Nothing bad is going to happen to them." I kiss the top of her head. "Okay?" I whisper.
"What if the Capitol comes back… what if the Hunger Games are brought back." Her hand grips mine tightly. The thought of our child going in there makes me worry too.
"That won't happen anymore Annie. We're all safe now." I whisper and kiss her head.
She swallows hard.
"I just don't want anything to happen to him." She whispers as a tear rolls down her cheek.
One word lingers in that sentence.
"Him?" I whisper surprised
She looks up at me.
"I know we said we wanted to wait for it to be a surprise but I had to know." She whispers. "I wasn't going to tell you… please don't be mad." She whispers and is on the verge of crying.
"Mad?" I smile and she nods. "How could I be mad Annie? We are going to have a little boy." I say and kiss her.
She hugs me.
"I know." She says and then kisses me. "I know."
"Finnick I need your help." I hear Annie say in the front hall closet.
I want towards her slowly.
"Yes?"
"Don't laugh." She says with a smile.
"I won't"
"Can you uh… help me untie my shoes."
I smile she's very pregnant and has trouble bending over and getting back up so do I.
"It's just I can't see my feet." She smiles.
"I know." I say and kneel down slowly. I try not to wince but I'm sure Annie noticed.
"You okay?" She asks worried.
"Kneeling and bending still aren't my strong suit." I say and she nods.
"You can walk without struggle anymore and in therapy you're working on this stuff and running so I wouldn't worry too much."
I nod.
"There all done." I say and stand back up.
"Thank you." She says and kisses me.
"No problem." I say and rub her stomach. "One more month." I smile.
She nods.
"What's wrong Annie?" I ask because her body has stiffened.
"Nothing it's just… I'm nervous."
"About being a mom?" I ask as we walk to the sofa.
"No… well yes but I'm more worried about having him." She says as we sit down.
"Don't worry Annie it will be fine." I kiss her forehead. "You will be with me and there will be a doctor and nurses all making sure you are okay."
She nods.
"Are you scared of being a dad?" She asks catching me off guard.
"I don't know if scared is the right word." I say.
"Then what would be?" She asks with a smile.
"Nervous it's hard dealing with the unknown." I say. She leans into my shoulder and I wrap my arm around her.
"I feel the same as you." She says as I kiss the top of her head.
I nod.
"I'm worried about other stuff though." I say. I didn't really want to bring this up to Annie.
"What's that." She asks and laces her fingers with mine.
"This." I say and move her free hand to my bionic leg.
"What about it?"
"He'll ask what's wrong, why I'm different."
"Finnick he's going to love you. It won't matter." She kisses my shoulder. "Okay?"
"I just don't want him to see me differently. Besides its not like I can do normal father son things with him." I say.
"Yes you can Finnick."
I sigh.
"Annie you need to face the fact that it's not like before."
"I know it isn't but it can be better." She takes her head off my shoulder. "Besides I know you Finnick, and despite you saying and believing this your eyes tell a different story, they always do. They always tell the true story."
"What are you talking about Annie?" I say slightly angry.
"They hold sadness not satisfaction."
"Annie-"
"You're giving up without even trying Finnick." She stands up. "And that's not the man I married." She smiles and starts to head upstairs.
"Are you okay?" I ask worried.
She nods.
"I just want to lie down… my back has been hurting more so than usual." She smiles. "I'm a little tired too."
"Do you need help walking upstairs?" I ask.
She shakes her head.
"I'm okay." She smiles "Just promise you'll think about what I've said." She says and walks upstairs.
Is that true? I think Have I subconsciously given up without trying.
I close my eyes and rub my temples.
"Mmmh." I moan and think back to my therapy. I never do the recommended exercises I just do the easy ones. Mostly because I know I can do them. I guess I don't want to fail. I wouldn't say that is giving up without trying but… maybe it is.
I sigh.
I should feel motivated to do things for my son. Besides, I do want to be able to swim again. Although, the doctors say that won't be plausible for more than a year.
"I guess Annie is right." I smile. "She always is."
Annie comes down in a few hours.
"You feel better?" I ask.
She nods.
"Good." I say and she sits at the kitchen table.
"You hungry?" I ask.
"No." She smiles.
I go and sit next to her and hold her hand.
She smiles.
"You're right Annie."
"I didn't want to be." She whispers.
"I know. I promise I'll be better."
"I hope so." She smiles and kisses me.
I hear a loud bang come from upstairs.
"Annie." I whisper.
"Finnick!" I hear her shout.
I hurry upstairs.
"Annie." I say worried walking into the bedroom.
I see she knocked over one of the bedside lamps. It's not broken so I don't have to worry about glass.
"I… I-" She whimpers.
I look at her and it looks like she peed herself. Although, I don't think that is pee.
"Annie you need to go to the hospital." I say gently. Our son is due in two weeks. Although I think he wants to come early.
She shakes her head.
"No we have a few more weeks."
"Annie he wants to come now, it will be okay."
She shakes her head.
"No… no… no I'm fine." She says and sits down.
"Annie your back has been hurting for the past couple of days I think we should go to the hospital in case-"
"No, no I'm not going Finnick." She whispers.
"Annie it will be okay." I say and hold her hand.
She shoves it away.
"No no I'm not going Finnick. I'm not going-"
"Annie-"
"No, no I'm not going. I can't because I can't do it. I won't be able to do it." She whimpers.
I smile.
"Yes you can because you're Annie. You can do anything."
She swallows hard.
"Why don't we get you into some clean clothes and then head to the hospital."
She sniffles.
"Annie." I say and hug her. "It's okay just remember that by the end of the day we're going to have a baby. We're going to have a little boy. Okay?"
"Okay." She whispers.
I hear Annie groan. She's been in labor for almost 27 hours. She just got told she could push our son should be here very soon.
"Finnick." She gasps and reaches for my hand and grips it tightly.
"I can't do it!" She sobs after thirty minutes.
"Yes you can you're almost there." I whisper in her ear.
One moment he wasn't here then the next he was and crying with life.
"You did it Annie." I whisper and kiss her sweaty forehead.
She starts to relax.
"I did."
After they are done cleaning him up they give him to Annie.
"Happy birthday." She says. "Finnick he's so beautiful." She says. I think she is on the verge of tears and I know it is from happiness.
"Yes he is." I say and he really is. He's the most precious thing I've ever seen.
"Daddy should hold you." Annie says with a smile. I happily do.
He smiles and I smile back.
To think I wasn't trying to be the best person I could be again. I was stupid because I should've been doing everything I could for this little guy. I want him to look up at me. I want him to be proud of me as proud as I am if Annie right now.
"Finnick." I Annie say.
"Do you want him again?" I ask.
"No well not now." She smiles. "I was thinking of the name. I know we didn't really talk about it."
"Do you have one in mind?" I ask.
"Yes… your name." She smiles.
"My… my name?" I say surprised.
"I think you deserve it. I want him to have the same name Daddy does because you both are the most important things to me. Okay?" She says.
"Okay." I say with a smile.
"I love you." I say to Annie and kiss her.
"I love you too." She smiles "and you." She says and kisses the top of our sons head. I know everything will be okay now. I guess it always was but seeing him, holding him, made everything so much more clear.