Only Annie.

I close my eyes.

This is Annie. I think more than once.

She isn't going to hurt you. She isn't going to hurt you. She isn't going to hurt you.

I make a groaning noise but it isn't in pleasure like Annie is probably thinking.

"Annie." I whimper.

She lets out a long pleasure filled sigh.

"Annie." I say more composed.

This is her first time so she might not realize this isn't a pleasurable voice and it isn't helping that her eyes are closed.

"Finnick." She whispers.

I close my eyes. I can do this. I can do this. I can do this for her. I did initiate this. I made the room look nice and had lit some of her candles. It was supposed to be romantic and perfect but... It's not.

I knew Annie was ready for this. We did talk about it but I never considered that I wouldn't be ready.

A thought occurs to me. I can't pretend to be happy when I'm with her. Then I will view her as the people I hate. I will view her as a client. I can't do this with her. I can't do that to her.

I hear Annie moan softly.

I can't do this. I can't do this. I start to panic. Will I ever be able to be with her? Won't she hate me? I don't think so but…

I forcefully push myself off her and end up locking myself in the bathroom and slump against the door.

"Finnick?" I hear Annie say confused. "Finnick?" She says as she walks towards the bathroom door. "Finnick are you okay?" She asks gently. "Finnick open the door." She says gently.

"No." I say slightly terrified and run my fingers through my hair.

"Finnick." She knocks lightly. "You're worrying me. Did I do something that upset you?" She asks worried.

"No." I whisper. She shouldn't be asking that. She shouldn't even think that. Annie didn't do anything wrong.

"Finnick." She says.

I swallow hard and unlock the door. She comes in wearing my t-shirt. It is almost a dress on her.

She looks at me. She knows this look. She has seen it many times when I wake up from a nightmare.

She sits down next to me.

"What's wrong sweetie?" She asks.

I shake my head.

"I don't know." I whisper.

"Did I do something wrong?" She whispers.

I look up at her. She looks worried probably thinking she used me like those Capitol people do.

"No" I say.

"Then why are you crying?" She asks gently.

I didn't realize I was. I move my hand to my cheeks and feel dampness.

"Are you okay?" She asks. She still looks worried.

Then a thought occurs to me that makes me feel worse.

"Don't tell anyone." I whisper.

"Who would I tell?" She asks confused.

"Snow… nothing pleasurable… I can't get in trouble…I can't get in trouble." I say and start to rock back and forth.

Getting reviewed on performance is always something that terrifies me. I know this wouldn't be a good one. I know someone would get 'punished'

"Finnick." She whispers. Her eyes hold understanding now. She wraps her arm around my shoulder. "You're okay. You're safe here." She whispers and keeps rubbing my shoulder. "You're safe here." She says and looks me dead in the eyes to make sure I know this.

I lean into her shoulder.

"I'm sorry Annie." I whisper.

"It's okay. It's okay." She whispers and runs her fingers through my hair. "I love you Finnick. I love you so much." She whispers.

I look up at her confused.

"You do?" I say. I know she does but… those people say that too.

"Of course." She says and smiles.

I look at her confused.

"But you didn't… I couldn't-"

"I don't care Finnick. I just hope you're okay. You weren't ready for this yet and that's okay." She says and smiles. "Okay?" She asks.

"But I initiated this-"

"So?" She asks confused.

"Annie-"

"Finnick shh." She says gently. "It doesn't matter. It doesn't matter." She says with a smile.

"But Annie this was your first time." I mutter. I wanted to make this special for her but… that clearly didn't happen and you only have one first time and this is how Annie will remember it, me running away in the middle.

"Those are so overrated." She smiles.

I look at her confused.

"But-"

"Shhh. I'm not going to turn you in or anything. I just want to make sure you're okay. I want to make sure I didn't hurt you."

I shake my head.

"No, I was okay but then… my mind couldn't differentiate between you and the Capitol. I started to panic." I say. "I didn't want to think about you that way."

She nods and has a look of pure understanding on her face. Which makes me feel happy.

"Well you're here in District 4. You're in your house in Victors' Village. You're here with me, Annie Cresta." She says gently.

I nod.

I breathe in and out deeply.

"I might never be able to be with you Annie." I whisper. I thought I could. It seemed so easy to love Annie. Kissing her and touching her are okay but there was something different about the rest. I felt like I was being forced. Which is ridiculous, Annie wouldn't force me to do anything.

This was her first time. I keep thinking. I have her worried that she hurt or traumatized me and that isn't right.

She shrugs her shoulders.

"That's okay. Being by you Finnick Odair is enough." She says gently. "Besides it's not a big deal to me."

"But-"

"Finnick." She says and smiles. "I love you more than my next breath." She kisses my forehead. "I could never leave you if that is what you're thinking." She kisses my cheek.

"I love you so much." She says and runs her fingers through my hair. "And whatever you're thinking isn't true. Okay?" She says looking at me with an Annie Cresta smile. A smile that could make my heart stop.

I know she is telling the truth. I also know she is probably one of the few people who would say this.

"I love you too." I whisper.

"I know." She says and hugs me. I run my fingers through her tangled hair.

"You're perfect and I don't deserve you." I whisper.

She scoffs and I look at her confused.

"Of course you do." She smiles. "You've paid your dues Finnick Odair. You deserve this. You deserve to feel happy." She says and kisses my cheek again. I smile. Only Annie would say something like this. Only Annie would say something that makes me feel better in this situation. Only Annie can make me feel wanted.

A/N: I can't believe I have written fifty of these! Thank you everyone for reading. Now I want to continue to write more -obviously- and I also want to write more with them as a family but I'm having a road block so if you have suggestions that would be great!