Laxus' job with Gajeel got off to a fantastic start. And by 'fantastic,' one can assume everything went wrong.

They got into a fist fight, their ship sank (which was unrelated, surprisingly enough), they had to swim ten miles to shore, and then once they got ashore to the island, they were attacked by assorted monsters.

He wondered how he'd gotten himself into this mess, and why he was in it with Gajeel of all people. Generally speaking, alpha males did not mix, and certainly not alone with no underlings. Gajeel had a serious problem accepting Laxus' leadership, and Laxus certainly wasn't going to take orders from him.

Finally, on the second week of their journey, Laxus beat him into the ground and promised him once they finished the job that he never wanted to see Gajeel's face again. They ended up camped on opposite sides of the island.

Their job was to eradicate all monsters from an island. What the job posted did not mention was that the island was huge, and some of the monsters were on the level of being s-class themselves. Every day was a pretty constant shade of 'ouch' and after waking up, Laxus would go to the killing fields and destroy enemies.

All in all? Worst job ever, and he wished he'd taken the Raijinshuu.

To make matters worse, he missed his wife. It wasn't some shallow notice of absence, either. In his spirit, he longed to be back home, to hear her voice, to rub her belly, to make love, and even to have an argument. If he could just hear her yell at him, he'd be happy.

It wore him down, and the job took three months.

Lucy cried when he finally came home.

She cried because he'd been gone for three months, because she was worried he'd never come home, because she was mad at him for taking a job like that, because she was happy to see him, but mostly, she just cried because she was seven months pregnant and that's how she woke up feeling on this unassuming June day.

One of the conditions of their relationship is that they accepted the complications of wizarding life. She had her team and her jobs, and he had his. Lucy tried so hard not to question his reasoning—why had he done it?! She knew there were plenty of other jobs. A part of her was angry he'd left her alone for so long, but the joke was on him because Team Natsu had practically lived in their house while he was gone. Laxus didn't like them being in the house, but as soon as he left, they all came over.

But when he pulled her into his arms, none of it mattered. Lucy was just glad they were together.

Laxus sank to his knees and pulled her shirt over her belly. "Lucy, you're huge. Everything's okay with the baby?"

His wife ruffled his hair. "Everything is perfect."

He wanted to grab her and swing her all over the room kissing her, but her body had very strange proportions and he didn't want to hurt her, so he laid half a dozen kisses on her belly and then stood and kissed her lips. "I love you so much, my little minx. The mother of my unborn child."

"I love you too, and I just need you to blame the pregnancy for this."

Laxus looked at her blankly, and she pushed him against the wall by his shirt and pulled him down to kiss her. She grabbed his shirt and pulled with seemingly superhuman strength and the buttons went flying everywhere.

Lucy's hormones had kept her in a state of sexual frustration the likes of which only he could have helped. Really, after being with a man who really knew how to touch her, masturbation could only do so much. Her body had more or less gotten so used to how Laxus handled her that whenever they were apart, she practically ached for him.

It was always such a big turn-on when she was the aggressor, but he could never leave her in control for long. Clothes went flying as he considered how on earth they were going to have sex with her belly so enormous.

"I need you inside of me," she begged.

Laxus thought about bending her over the couch, but Lucy's legs turned to Jello during sex so any position where she had to support her own weight was out. "How are we going to..." she grabbed him through his pants and gave him a good squeeze. "shit..."

He threw a throw blanket off the couch onto the floor, and then swept all the pillows into the floor as she pulled his pants off. "Doggy style?" he asked as he tore the last of her clothes off.

His wife sank to the floor and bent over, and he worked his way into her slowly since she was pregnant and they'd been apart for a while. The first time was quick and fast, and the second time was long and sweet, and this went on until Lucy's pregnancy hormones had sapped every ounce of energy out of him. Her pregnancy sex drive was like an insatiable force to him, and for the first time in his life, a woman's stamina outlasted his.

Laxus still had fingers, albeit only nine of them since one was disqualified from 'the inside.'

When she'd finally had enough, he flopped onto the pillows. "You monster...I love you."

"I've needed that."

"Same here. The longer we're together, the more it annoys the fuck out of me to be away from you. I miss everything. I missed you yelling at me," he confessed.

Lucy smiled softly as she rolled onto her side. "I missed you annoying me. Also, your cock. Missed that a lot. Pregnancy is crazy. I ate pickles with mayonnaise and hot sauce for breakfast. I feel like my hormones have hormones."

"I see."

Laxus coaxed her upstairs to go to bed since the floor was obviously a terrible place for a pregnant woman to lay. They snuggled up in the bed, and he rubbed her belly while he kissed her for quite a while. "So, now that we have your hormones out of the way, how's my girl?"

"Good. Really excited. We're having a baby," she whispered.

Laxus felt something move under his hand and he looked down just in time to see her entire belly move. It was misshapen for a few seconds, sticking out oddly in one way, and then it became round. "...what is in there, an alien?! Did you have a tentacle experience I don't know about?"

His wife slapped his chest lightly. "The baby doesn't just kick. He likes to change positions and poke my bladder. Our son takes after you, I guess," she teased.

For a second, he missed it, but then the sentence looped back in his mind. "...our son? You know for sure?"

His wife nodded and kissed his forehead. "We're going to have a little boy."

Laxus gave her a huge grin. "You're amazing. You're carrying my son, and soon he's going to be here. It's exciting. I have a gift for you too."

Lucy watched as he left the bed, went downstairs, and came back with a little wrapped box.

Since he always spoiled her with gifts, she expected it to be a necklace or bracelet, but as she pulled the ribbon off, she felt a familiar magic emanating from the box. Lucy took the lid off the box, and ripped the Aquarius key from it, throwing her arms around Laxus as she broke down into sobs.

"Thank you...thank you...thank you!" she cried.

Laxus squeezed her gently. "Anything for the mother of my unborn son. Don't think I don't mean that. I'll do anything for you."

Lucy had been angry, sad, and upset with him for taking such a long mission, but as soon as she saw the key, she knew he had done it all for her. If anyone else had completed the mission and made a contract with Aquarius, she might never be reunited with her.

"You don't know how much this means! Aquarius was my first key, and she was my friend. And I...I had to give her up," she bawled.

Her husband kissed her. "You're all hormones, Lucy."

"I know!" she cried as she smiled.

She got out of the bed excitedly and dressed. "I'm going down to the lake to summon her."

"Can't you just summon her from the sink or something?"

Lucy shook her head. "Only if you want her to destroy our house. Umm...can I be alone?"

"Fine, but don't be too long, or I'll come steal you back."

Laxus didn't move from the bed, and Lucy made her way down to the water, bent down, and touched the key to the water.

"Open, Gate of the Water Bearer: Aquarius!"

Her long-lost friend appeared.

Aquarius smiled at her. "You found my key after all, huh?" The mermaid froze and looked down. "You're with child?! Since when?"

"I'm seven months along."

Aquarius looked down at her. "I'd sweep you to the other side of the lake for good old time's sake, but I'll take a rain check until you have that baby."

Lucy was so happy to have Aquarius back. "Thanks, I think. I missed you."

"Whatever. I guess I'm glad my key is back with you."

"About our contract," she said.

Aquarius held her jar in hand. "Call me whenever. You know what happens when you do. Nothing is changing there. Don't call me until you have that baby unless you can help it. I take too much of your magic. But if you get in trouble and need my help before then..."

She met Lucy's eyes. "Summon me from your spit if you have to. Just call."

"I understand."

The mermaid gave her a mischievous glance. "So you of all people got pregnant? How did that happen? Last time I saw you, you wouldn't have known what to do with a man."

"Y-Yeah. It's funny how it happened. I never saw it coming. I'd known him for a long time, and he asked me on a date. We fell in love somehow. His name is Laxus. He's pretty awesome. We got married seven months ago, and this happened," she said, rubbing her belly.

Aquarius looked upstairs. "A week ago, an extremely powerful wizard took possession of my key. No one that powerful has ever even touched my key. How did you get it?"

Lucy furrowed her brows in confusion, but then realized Aquarius was talking about her husband. "Oh, that's just Laxus. He's a monster."

"You have no idea. You scored a big player? Is he a dirty old man?" the spirit answered.

"I'll have you know he's twenty-five and he is hot."

Aquarius shrugged. "I doubt it. I still find it hard to believe you found a man, much less one that's good looking!"

Lucy decided to put the matter to rest. "LAXUS!"

Hearing her shriek, he appeared at her side in an instant from lightning form, materializing in nothing but his maroon pants. "Are you all right?" he asked, voice dripping in concern.

His wife pointed to him as she spoke to Aquarius. "He's tall, muscled, ruggedly handsome, tattooed, his hair is thick, his hands are huge, he has the most handsome chiseled face, and there is no man alive who has more gorgeous eyes. Tell me he's not hot."

Aquarius laughed.

Laxus felt very awkward. His wife had invited her spirit to ogle him, and she did.

"So you're the clown that knocked up my master, eh?" she asked in amusement. "You better be on your best behavior. I can open my own gate if you need a lesson on how to treat a lady. Being pretty won't save you from me, you got that?"

"Understood," Laxus answered, wondering if it was really wise to reunite these two women. "Did you need me, or was I just here to look pretty?"

Aquarius waved him off. "We're done with you. Run along, little boy."

Laxus gave her a murderous glare. "I don't think I like you very much."

"It's mutual," the mermaid replied, "Pretty boy."

"Bitch."

Lucy froze in horror when the word left her husband's lips. Who in the world had the nerve to tell Aquarius of all people that? Laxus had an undeniably filthy mouth, but this word was a little rarer in his vocabulary. It was like a card he played only on special occasions.

Aquarius seemed even more amused by this, and the next thing anyone knew, Laxus was in the water and couldn't shock Aquarius because there were other people in the water not far from them. She sucked him up in a vortex and sent him to the bottom of the lake, and while he was swimming up, she turned to Lucy. "I like him for you. He's a complete idiot, but he is nice to look at. See you 'round, Mama."

She winked, waved, and closed her gate, disappearing just as he erupted to the surface ready to kick her mermaid tail into oblivion.

Laxus went inside and sulked at his wife as he went to shower. He heard her come in and pee, and peeked out from behind the curtain. "When I pee and you're in the shower, you tell me I'm gross."

"Yeah, well, tell your son to get off my bladder and we'll all be happy. Hurry up and get out. I have to get ready to go."

"Go where?" he answered through the shower curtain.

"A childbirth class. I keep telling them the father of my baby is out of town. I feel like they've decided this is a bastard child. I'd really like it if you came with me."

Laxus thought about it for maybe two seconds. "Why? I kind of already did my part."

"It's so you can support me, obviously, sperm donor."

"Don't you just have to push the little guy out? It doesn't seem complicated."

Lucy pulled the curtain open. "Not complicated?"

He knew from her face and the tone of her voice that the conversation could only go downward. "Let me get my foot out of my mouth and get dressed."

After she showered and got ready, they walked two blocks to a storefront, and when he opened the door for his wife, they entered a room that smelled like cantaloupes that was covered in mats. And pregnant couples. Laxus didn't want to have anything to do with this place, but Lucy wanted him there.

He'd rather be killing monsters or at the dentist. Or having monsters drill his mouth or killing dentists. However it went, he'd rather be doing it.

She put her hand in his and squeezed. "I really appreciate this."

He overheard some gossipy women in one corner mention Lucy, and he determined they'd apparently given her some kind of hard time about being by herself. It made him feel bad for being gone for so long.

The other couples sat on the mats, and Laxus followed suit, sitting like the others with his legs parted so Lucy could sit in between his them and lean her back on his chest. "This feels weirdly intimate and I feel strange sitting like this in front of other people," he whispered in her ear.

"Laxus, you like to have sex in public places, so that's a ridiculous complaint," she quietly whispered back.

He wrapped himself around her once he got over the weirdness and rested his chin on her shoulder. "Those women are the ones that hurt your feelings?"

"I didn't say my feelings were hurt. That would be childish," she quietly hissed.

Laxus said, "It's fine to be upset. I'm sorry for leaving for so long."

Lucy craned her neck and they shared a quick kiss. "I'm glad you're here."

The instructor came in and turned out the lights and announced they were going to watch a film lacrima for class that night. Laxus knew as soon as that announcement was made that he was going to regret his presence there, and he wondered how much trouble he'd get in if he escaped.

Then he realized that this was all about to unfold in their lives when their son was born, so he decided to be still.

Had he been there for the first four classes, he might have known what more of the words meant, but he was not, and the book his grandfather had given him remained unread.

The film spared no detail, and Lucy felt him breathing hard against her back as if in panic. His fingertips dug into her stomach a little in horror and she put her hands over his and twisted to find him quite horrified.

So they watched a film of a woman screaming while she tried to push a baby out of her very hairy vagina. After quite a while, the doctor performed an episiotomy (which was a new and horrifying word for Laxus), and the woman continued her struggle.

The baby was crowning when Laxus leaned over and whispered, "Lucy, what have we done?!"

When the baby came out, Laxus relaxed a little until the placenta emerged.

When the film ended, the instructor turned the lights on and told them he'd see them next week, to which Laxus mentally replied, 'The hell you will,' although he suspected that he would be there, probably feeling just as awkward and horrified.

As soon as they were out the door, Lucy burst out laughing and kept giggling like she'd never heard such a funny joke in her life. "Your face..." She bent over and grabbed her knees when she got to the point of laughter that left her lightheaded.

"We'll see who is laughing in about ten weeks."

The blonde kept laughing. "Nobody. I'll be screaming and pushing this kid out and you're probably going to look just...like...that."

Laxus crossed his arms and defaulted to sulking.

The blond suddenly clutched her stomach and let out a groan.

The expectant father nearly tripped over his feet. "Are you okay?" he asked in panic.

"Just kidding!"

"Lucy, you are being really terrible right now," he complained.

Lucy pulled him down by the collar and kissed him. "You'll be okay, Laxus. That's payback for that thing that happened on our wedding night with your finger. Let's head home."

Laxus felt his wife take his hand and he tangled his fingers in hers as they walked home. "It's safe for you to walk this far?"

"It's good for me and the baby. I have a whole list of exercises I've been doing," she answered.

They passed an ice cream shop. "You want some ice cream? I'm sure they have mint chocolate chip. Probably not avocado."

"I'm trying not to gain any more weight, you know. I was actually really bothered about you seeing me when you got back, but then I was so horny I forgot to be nervous," she admitted.

Laxus stopped then and ordered a large mint chocolate chip and a large vanilla cone, and while she complained, he ignored her. Then he gave her the cone and said, "You look cute."

They stopped and sat on a bench, and Lucy said, "You're a good guy."

"Your belly is cute. Every time I see it I remember that you're having my baby. The rest just appeals to me as a man. I like your curves, and I think I've said that in many, many rude ways over the years that we've known one another. So don't be like that. You're my wife. I love your little body."

Lucy leaned against him and he put an arm around her as she started on her ice cream. "I didn't know it would be this great to be with somebody. I wonder if everyone feels like this and I don't think so. What we have is special, I know it." She looked up and sighed, "You're about to ruin this sweet moment, aren't you?"

"You know it."

"What, Laxus?"

"Your ass is really nice right now. It's bigger and kind of rounder. When I was behind you earlier I just wanted to put bite marks all over it."

The blonde shook her head. "You did."

"Exactly. I don't have time for all that self-conscious crap when I have a booty to bite."

Once they finished, he asked, "Are you scared?"

"Of you treating my ass like it's a chew toy?"

Laxus met her eyes. "Of giving birth."

Lucy snuggled closer. "Not really. Maternal hormones are incredible. I know it's going to hurt, but when it's over, we get to hold our son."

"I don't know if I've ever looked forward to anything so much in my life."

His wife smiled. "You're going to be a good dad. But really, leave my butt alone for a while, you big weirdo."

Please Review!

AN: I started a new LaLu called Melee: Punch Your Way to Love. It's going to be more romance adventure.

Special thanks to Megumiyoung, SilverGhostKitsune, Numinous-Alqua, Ashatan87, skyepie, mwolfe13, arouraleona, w1n6s-0f-F1r3, darkfae7, killer-kelly420, misty shayna, adabs18, guesticle, jurahieiritr JIO, katiekat2001, sidjr100, yumeyumi1986, ladyallyssa, mewhee89, xxshyxx, and aoutre for reviewing!