"Okay, Thunder Baby, we need to talk."

It was three in the morning, and Lucy was leaning on the edge of her bathtub after panting her way through a contraction. If this had been three weeks before, she would have been up in arms, but three rounds of 'false labor' had taught her that one measly labor pain doesn't mean anything. They'd started a week before her due date and had continued to that moment, when he was two weeks and two days overdue.

They'd tried everything. Lucy ate spicy foods, but the only cramps that came were from diarrhea, which was just fantastic during pregnancy. They walked all over Magnolia until her poor ankles swelled up to miserable proportions. Then they had sex until they were tired of looking at each other—or maybe that was just her, because he seemed pretty okay with it.

The last month of pregnancy had not been fun. Her back hurt, her bladder roughly had the capacity of a shot glass, and it was August, so one step outside and she felt like she'd spontaneously combust.

She rubbed her belly. "Look, I know you're apparently really comfortable in there, but your time is up. I really want to have you here at home, but you have about six hours to show me you're serious or you're going to be born in a hospital where they'll induce labor. And if you still don't want to come out, they'll cut you out. So no matter how you look at it, your time is up, so give it up, and get out of my body."

She waited, and another contraction didn't come, so she took a deep breath and started packing her bag for the hospital, being as quiet as possible since Laxus was somehow asleep for what seemed to be the first time in a while. He'd been restless, sleepless, and nervous.

"You want to do things the hard way? That's just fine with me, Thunder Baby. You get that from your father, and I hate to tell you this, but if I can deal with Thunder Dad, Thunder Baby is no problem," she uttered in complete irritation.

Lucy was so fed up, but she accepted it was not going to go the way she wanted to, so she finished packing her bag for the hospital, took a shower, shaved, and was drying off when she felt a contraction and her water broke.

She felt pressure immediately. "Laxus!"

He was at her side in an instant. "Are you all right?"

"This baby is coming," she panted as he grabbed her and steadied her.

She was standing in a puddle of liquid that had half a dozen scents he did not know and did not want to know, so he knew this probably really was it. "I'll get Porlyusica."

Lucy shook her head and groaned through the pain. "Loke."

Her faithful spirit appeared. "I'll be back as soon as I can."

The pain came again almost immediately and she cried out and clawed into him. "Laxus, this baby is coming now. I can feel it."

Panic coursed through him in an instant. His mouth made some argument about the stages of labor, but unbeknownst to him, while she stayed up in the bathroom complaining to their unborn son, she had dilated fully. He was holding her up and led her to the bed.

Lucy pulled off the towel she'd been wrapped in and put it under her as she leaned against the headboard. Another contraction came and she gritted her teeth together and started to push, driven by some crazy instinct.

Laxus was freaked out to the maximum allowed any human being. "Can you just wait a few minutes? You can't be serious."

He started to ease her knees back together, and she hissed. "You...idiot!"

Lucy screamed at the burning sensation, hands clenching the sheets and did what felt best in this moment, because she was literally giving birth and he was sitting there looking terrified and lost.

She kicked him in the shoulder and when the contraction passed, she cried, "Please stop being useless and help me. This really hurts. It hurts so bad. And I'm scared. Your son just decided to headbutt his way out of my vagina without any warning."

Laxus knew it would be senseless and stupid for a combat-hardened man such as himself to lose it. He gathered his wits, and was honestly relieved she'd dragged him to those insufferable classes. He ran back to the bathroom to get more towels, and the unopened bulb aspirator meant for helping babies with congestion from the medicine cabinet.

He did the best he could to prepare, wiping her down with disinfectant, and knelt between her legs on the bed as he reached out for her hands.

She pushed for about twenty minutes when she felt her son move down quite a bit.

Lucy held onto his hands and pushed on the next contraction and Laxus saw she was very right about their son's arrival being imminent. Her vagina bulged outwards, bloody blonde hair visible. Her let go of one of her hands and applied a little pressure when she pushed again and the baby's head started to emerge to the sound of Lucy's half-scream, half-growl.

The head was halfway out when the contraction subsided and Lucy found this the worst possible point, like progress stopped even momentarily with the baby in a place where she felt like she was being split open, but she could not really remember how to talk it hurt so bad. She clenched his hand so tightly and whimpered.

Laxus kissed her knee cap. "You're so strong, Lucy. It's almost over."

This gave her enough strength to open her eyes. "He's like you...he likes to make a big entrance."

"He also has my hair."

"We have the same hair color!"

"You'll see."

The next contraction came and she pushed as hard as she could and the head slipped free with a gush of liquid, followed by the shoulders, and was born into his father's hands. Laxus put him on a towel, cleared the fluid out of his nose, and wiped him off carefully as he let out an ear-splitting cry.

Laxus looked down at his son and up at his wife.

He couldn't think of any words at all. His first thought was really, Did that just fucking happen for real?, but after that, there was nothing but wonder.

He sniffed his son, who had a scent mostly like her, with a little of him.

Laxus got off the bed and brought him to her. "Our son..."

Lucy lift her son to her breast on instinct, and he latched on on instinct. "He's so perfect."

The baby's gray-blue eyes were half-open as he suckled, and the new parents examined him. Lucy brushed her hand over his hair and discovered she'd never felt anything so soft in her life. It also went right back to standing straight up.

Their son's hair was weird, and Lucy saw the little clumps of hair growing in different directions, with a little clump that grew outward in the front. She ran her fingers over it, and then reached up and pulled a little on the same tuft of hair on her husband's head.

Laxus smirked. "Poor kid..."

The door opened and Porlyusica came in with a bag and looked at the sight before her. Laxus was sitting on the edge of the bed and Lucy was laid there, legs still splayed open as she held the newborn to her breast.

And then she laughed.

"Laxus, don't tell me you delivered this baby!"

The man looked up and sarcastically answered, "Clearly, I missed my true calling as a midwife."

Porlyusica saw the baby was already suckling and seemed quite all right. "Any problems?"

Lucy shook her head. "He came really fast. I'd been having pains all night, but I really thought Thunder Baby was just messing with us again. The contractions weren't bad until my water broke, and then I could feel his head coming down."

The old woman went to disinfecting Lucy's everything and clamped the umbilical cord.

Laxus took the scissors in hand. "You stop being a mama's boy in this moment, understood?" he said as he snipped the cord. "You're my son."

"Honestly, Laxus...," Lucy said in exasperation.

After the placenta was delivered, Porlyusica cleaned up. Despite all the problems their son had given them, the birth had been as quick and easy as birth could be, with no complications or problems.

Lucy looked down at her little son and smiled. There was something so special about her connection to her son. He knew her, knew this was his mother, and they'd finally met. "Hey, Thunder Baby. I'm your mama."

Laxus' brows rose. "Are you still calling him that?"

"I just pushed this kid out of my vagina. I can call him whatever I want," his wife answered.

Porlyusica reached out for him. "Let me take a good look at him just to make sure he's all right. Does he have a name?"

"Yuri Dreyar. It's a family name," Laxus answered.

"That's a nice name," Porlyusica answered as she conducted an exam of the perfectly healthy baby boy.

She took him to the nursery for a moment to put a diaper on him and swaddle him properly in a blanket, and then returned him to his mother who was getting dressed in a nightgown and panties with a pad along with the help of her husband. "Yuri is very healthy. Breathing well, alert, moving around just the right amount."

She gave Lucy instructions, but they'd already talked about everything before and the blonde generally knew what to do and not to do as a first time mother who read many books and took a class.

Then Porlyusica grabbed Laxus by the ear and spoke loudly and slowly, "No sex for six weeks."

Laxus looked up. "What? I didn't hear you. Someone was yelling in my ear."

The woman tried to repeat herself. "I said that there should be no sex for—"

Laxus had fingers in both of his ears, scratching. "My ears are itchy. I wonder if someone is talking about me...were you saying something?"

Porlyusica looked down at Lucy. "How do you put up with this man?!"

"I love him somehow, so it's easy," she answered.

When the healer left them, Laxus climbed into the bed and tried to take his son from Lucy, who gave him a pout. "You've been holding him for ten months. It's my turn. I'll give him back in June."

Lucy gently placed her son in her husband's arms. "We had a baby, Laxus."

He smiled and kissed her cheek. "You're amazing. It really does take a lot to bring a baby into the world. My part was kind of easy, you know?"

Lucy snuggled up to him, wincing in pain for a second. Then, she ran her fingertips over her son's eyebrows. "Dreyar eyebrows, help."

"It's probably a good thing we had a son. Can you imagine a girl with my eyebrows?"

His wife laughed. "God no. With the hair too?"

Lucy decided there was nothing in the whole world that was cuter than the sight of Laxus laying there in the bed with his tiny newborn son on his chest. He adored the baby, and that much had been clear all along. He had a lot of love to give, no matter what anyone else said.

They stayed like that for a long time, snuggled up with their son, who was quite happy to be with his parents. The second time Yuri ate, he became still and closed his eyes.

"I think he fell asleep at the wheel," Laxus said.

Lucy nodded. "Poor little guy. Eat and fall asleep with a tit in your mouth, just like your daddy."

"He is my son," Laxus answered with a smirk.

The doorbell rang, and Laxus scowled. "We've been found out."

"Oh no. Not already!"

They had decided—and made it clear to Fairy Tail—that they didn't want the whole guild in their house and they didn't want everyone to handle the baby when he was a newborn. The idea of everyone touching his son with their assorted guild bacteria was entirely unsuitable to both of Yuri's parents.

Their short list only included Gramps, the Raijinshuu, and Team Natsu. Lucy's spirits would be around, but Laxus was honestly over all of them. There was nothing he could do about finding a man in a horse suit in his pantry at five in the morning or a mermaid in his bath water. He mentally treated them like children she'd had coming into the relationship—terrible, but not a deal-breaker.

"It's Gramps," he said, sensing the familiar magic. "You mind if he comes up?"

Lucy shook her head and buttoned up her nightgown.

Laxus went downstairs and opened the door. "Hey Gramps. Porlyusica really has a big mouth."

Makarov smiled widely as he entered. "Congratulations, grandson. Did you really deliver the baby?"

The lightning dragon slayer sighed, knowing he might never live that one down. "Didn't have much of a choice. Honestly, that kid has some nerve after all he's put us through."

Makarov followed him upstairs and found Lucy holding the sleeping baby. "My granddaughter-in-law! You look amazing for someone who just gave birth."

She smiled and he reached out for the baby.

Laxus squirted about half a cup of hand sanitizer in his hand. "No one with dirty hands is handling this kid, not even you."

"Don't be such a first-timer. I never bothered with you," Makarov answered as he rubbed his hands together.

His grandson crossed his arms. "Suddenly, my frequent childhood illnesses are not much of a mystery."

Makarov gently took his great-grandson. "That was probably unrelated."

"Yuri really take after Laxus, doesn't he?" Lucy asked.

The old man looked down at his great-grandson. "It's hard to tell. You and Laxus look like brother and sister already."

Laxus looked down at his wife and his eyes were opened. Both of them were blonde, and they had long eyelashes and little ears. He even had a similar bottom lip and nose. "Shit."

"You seriously didn't notice?"

Lucy looked up at her husband. "Wow, we do."

Makarov laughed at the couple. "Goldmine asked me if you were his hot sister the other day and when I told him you were his wife he thought I was joking."

Lucy looked at Makarov as he picked at them and cooed over their newborn simultaneously and she knew how Laxus had become Laxus. Her husband was an antagonizer by nature, but Makarov was the Master Antagonizer. She imagined them twenty years before, living in Makarov's house and she could see the old man annoying his grandson literally to death.

His rebellious years suddenly made so much sense.

Makarov bent down to kiss Yuri and Laxus narrowed his eyes threateningly. "You're such a blowhard of a first-time dad."

"I don't want anybody kissing the baby," Laxus said.

"I'm not anybody. I'm great-gramps."

His grandson answered, "Your teeth didn't fall out just because."

Makarov decided not to cross his grandson while he was being so overprotective simply because Laxus really, truly had a bad personality. He honestly didn't understand how Lucy could deal with him and all the different sides of him.

"Are you going to have him circumcised?"

Laxus narrowed his eyes further. "Of course not."

"You're circumcised," Gramps pointed out.

"That was all Deadbeat's decision. Nobody fucking asked me," Laxus answered.

Makarov shrugged. "I talked him into it. You wife probably appreciates it."

Lucy frowned. "Getting a little bit personal there, Master."

The blonde honestly couldn't stand for anyone else to give her anymore advice. Being pregnant, she couldn't walk down the street without someone telling her the best position to give birth or how eating coconuts would make her baby cry less while she was breastfeeding.

The only reason she didn't throw Makarov out was because he was so very obviously in love with their son—with his toes, with his fingers, with his cute, crazy hair. He held the baby with teary eyes and no small amount of adoration, but he also multi-tasked so he could annoy the newborn's father.

When the two men got tired of picking at each other, Makarov looked up at Laxus. "I'm proud of you. You're going to be a great father."

Laxus blushed and crossed his arms, looking in the opposite direction. "Whatever. Thanks, I guess. Tch!"

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Special thanks to Ashatan87, yumeyumi1986, Babs, killer-kelly420, , kurahieiritr JIO, w1n6sw-0f-f1r3, Adabs18, Darkfae7, newhee89, katiekat2001, Silverghostkitsune, chan19, sidjr100, LucyxAnyoneShipper, aoutre, arouraleona, and Megumiyoung for reviewing!