Victors' Crown.
"Just breathe in and out." I hear Mags say softly to me.
I close my eyes and do. It's hard though. The shouts of people wanting to get their first glimpse of me since the arena is the only thing I can hear. I also have a knot in my stomach knowing I will be face to face with Snow soon.
I'm about to be presented to the citizens in City Circle. I will be shown in the Capitol square with cameras all over me. I will be in President Snow's usual sitting quarters for these events. This is because I will be given my Victors' crown and congratulated by him personally.
I still haven't had a very coherent thought since I came out of the hospital. It's like watching a baby deer learn to walk for the first time. I feel so helpless. I am so helpless.
I'm only with Mags now. She was my 'main' mentor. We have three others here. Finnick, Zayden, and Cora. Two boys and two girls. Finnick is the closest to my age but, I'm really glad he didn't choose me. He was never in the suite anyways and when he was, he wasn't always by himself. And I don't mean the mentors or tributes.
"It's okay sweetie. You just need to go out there and smile. President Snow might say a few words to you as he gives you the crown. He might just say congratulations, but say thank you and smile." Mags says and smiles.
I nod. I haven't talked since I left the hospital. I will have to soon because after I'm crowned Victor I need to do an interview.
"Where are her shoes!" I hear our escort, Viola, shout.
"I think Finnick has them. He wanted to show them to someone." Cora says bored. She's twenty five and thinks this whole thing is below her.
"Well go and get them!" She shouts at Cora and she sighs. "Honestly you're going to be meeting the president soon, these things should already be taken care of." Viola says more to herself.
Viola pats down my hair. It is very curly. I have too much blush on my face. I look like a China doll. However my dress is reasonable it's just a plain green dress. Although, it does have gems all over it but it is comfortable. Either that or I feel so numb that I can't tell.
"You need more spray." Viola says annoyed.
I look at her sadly. The hair spray smells bad and makes me dizzy.
"And work on that smiling. It will make you look prettier." Viola says.
I look at her confused.
She groans and walks off to get the hair spray.
Zayden comes over and slides a chair close to me.
"Sit down." He says gently.
Zayden is probably in his early fifties. He cares for the games but I can tell he pities me.
I sit down or get pushed down. I can't tell.
He goes to talk to Mags.
"Get over here idiot. If I hear about Viola complaining about something else I will scream." I hear Cora say and turn towards her. She is dragging Finnick who is carrying my shoes. They are tall and golden. The gems on the shoes match the gems on my dress.
"Sorry." Finnick says.
"This day is supposed to be about Annie so can you please just keep it in your pants for one day." Cora says angrily.
"Cora." Mags scolds.
She waves Mags off not caring.
"Well you know we all gotta live while we're young." Finnick says in a strange tone. He is glaring daggers at Cora.
"Whatever." Cora says and shoves Finnick so he is in front of me.
"Here you go Annie." Finnick says holding them up.
I look at him confused as if he is speaking a foreign language to me.
"You just need to put them on." Finnick says gently, in a voice so kind I want to weep.
I scrunch my face and can feel tears brim my eyes.
"Please for the love of god don't cry." Cora says. "He's just giving you a pair of shoes."
I whimper.
"Just put them on her Finnick. It won't matter if you see up her skirt. You've seen it all."
Finnick sighs and puts my shoes on.
He looks up at me almost asking 'is this tight enough?'
I don't do anything.
Finnick backs away and I sit back in my chair. Viola comes back with the hairspray and I can feel her coat me with it. My hair is getting crunchy and I feel like passing out.
The spray is so thick. It is almost like fog.
I put my hands to cover my face and cough. I can hear her sighs of disapproval.
I think she takes the disapproval out on me by pulling my hair.
I let her do whatever she wants. She could shave my head or tell me to walk out naked and I wouldn't care. I'm not all here.
"There all better." Viola says and squeezes my shoulders. "It's almost time!" She squeals.
I can hear the audience which surprises me. I didn't really do anything exciting in my games. After Evert, my fifteen year old District partner, got beheaded I just sat down and cried. When the dam broke everything went crazy and most of the tributes died from the force of the initial break. I only won because I was the best swimmer. And yet the audience is very excited. I didn't even kill anyone. Well not intentionally. The gamemakers considered me killing other tributes when the dam broke but I don't remember putting my hands on anyone. I guess you can't have a victor who didn't kill anyone so they probably made it up. Or it was so traumatizing that I don't remember, I'm hoping that is the case.
I stay seated. I don't know if I should stand to go on stage so I just stay seated in some daze.
"Here." Mags says and helps me from the chair. I almost fall over from the tallness of the shoes. "Just stand here." She says gently and walks towards a peacekeeper near by.
"Is she ready to be escorted?" He asks.
"Just a few more minutes." Mags says to him.
"Alright, but we can't keep people waiting forever." He says annoyed.
I feel someone next to me.
"It's not so bad." Finnick whispers. "Just thought I'd let you know, he smells of roses and blood." He says and I turn towards him scared and confused.
"Just try and smile. Have fun." He smirks and winks at me.
I turn right back to whatever is in front of me not amused.
"Come here Annie." Mags says and holds my hand. "Remember smile and say thank you." She says and is leading me to the balcony. I can hear the chanting of my name getting louder and louder. "Here we go." Mags smiles and opens the doors. She gestures for me walk to walk onto the balcony.
I see a chair that looks like a throne. There's two, one that is Snow's and one that I'm assuming is for me.
I see all the screaming people in City Circle. They're all chanting my name and smiling. It's like a flash of color is before me. It's making my head hurt.
President Snow comes out the other side doors and the screams get louder.
President Snow stands on the podium and lifts his hands for silence them which comes immediately.
"Another year gone, and another Victor crowned. This year is a nice girl from District Four. She is well worthy of the title. Which is why she will be getting the crown." He says and takes the victors crown -my victors crown- from a plush red pillow.
As he gets closer I can see that it has District Four attributes. The golden crown has only sea colored gems. I see an engravement of a mermaid and a school of fish circling the edges. I can also see some elements from my arena. The strange white gravel that was around the cornucopia, and engravements of the strange purple birds that came out only at night.
I swallow hard. The birds would make high pitch screeching noise if you got too close. They were also carnivorous. I want to throw my crown off the balcony edge.
Every victor has a crown but we don't get to keep it. After my interview and recap watching it will be taken away and hauled off to be in a museum with the other sixty-nine victor crowns.
The crowd get louder as he gets closer to the microphone. I remember that I have to stand up for respect but also, so the crowd can get a better view of my victors crown.
The smell of each seems present. The crown smells like the arena. How did they do that?
When Snow gets close enough he places it delicately on my head. I can feel my hair get smushed down. I think I can hear it crunch from the hair spray as well.
Once the crown is on my head the screams get louder. I can almost hear a ringing in my ear from it.
As Snow gets closer the smell of earth goes away and the smell of blood and roses becomes prominent. Finnick was right, he does smell of blood and roses.
"Congratulations Miss. Cresta. You did very well." He says softly with a strange smile.
He steps away from me so the crowd can get a better view of me wearing the crown.
Snow takes my hand and puts it up so all of Panem can see the President is giving me thanks.
"Miss. Cresta, I've heard that you haven't been speaking. I think you should fix that problem. Work everything out." He whispers and drops my hand and we walk back inside.
President Snow walks off with his guards. I remember I didn't say thank you but it will be silly to say it now.
I see only Zayden and Finnick are here. Mags must be giving an interview and who knows where Cora wondered off to.
"Here." Zayden says and has me sit down again. "Mags will be back soon. So will the prep team to get you ready for your interview outfit."
I look up at him confused. The crowd only saw me in this for a few minutes and I already need to change.
"I'll see if they're ready." Zayden says and walks off.
I reach my hand out for him to stay but he has already left.
"Don't worry it won't be so bad." Finnick says and puts my hand back down. "The interview anyways, watching the recaps won't be great. Which will be happening after this."
"Finnick!" I hear someone giggle.
The girl comes closer and I can tell Finnick is going to leave me here all by myself. I can't be by myself so I do something desperate.
I grip his arm like a teddy bear but not gently. I'm holding him so tightly that his jacket is starting to slip off.
"Please don't leave me! Please don't leave me alone!" I sob. This is the first thing I have said since I left the arena. I'm begging Finnick Odair of all people not to leave me alone.
I pull him closer to me that he stumbles back and almost falls on my lap.
"Relax Annie." He says.
I start making this sobbing groaning noise that sounds like an animal. I can tell my makeup is getting messed up again. They've had to fix it three times already.
"Annie." Finnick says and looks around frantically. Is he embarrassed to been seen with me or something? I don't care I'm not letting go of him.
Finnick grabs my shoulders gently. "Shh. Shhh. Look at me look at me." He says frantically but also relaxingly.
I pull him closer to me and hug him. I'm gripping the fabric of the back of his jacket and I swear I hear it rip.
"Don't leave!" I shout this time.
"Annie why don't we go to a different room." He says softly.
I just sob loudly instead.
I can tell Finnick tries to move me but I'm holding onto him so tightly that it would be impossible for him to move.
I'm still clawing at his back like a wild animal.
"Don't leave." I say softly but the whole room can still probably hear me.
"I'm not going anywhere." He says.
"Alright they're all set up they just want to do a few touch ups before the… recaps." Zayden's voice gets softer and softer as he talks.
"Finnick stop hugging her." Zayden says in an accusing tone.
"Trust me I'm trying." Finnick mumbles.
"Annie." Zayden says and is rubbing my arms but it only makes my grasp tighten.
"You need to get ready for the recaps. They want to erm touch up your makeup." He says and I can tell by his voice that they will have to start all over again.
"Go get Mags." Finnick says. His voice is still muffled from his head being pressed tightly to me.
"She's with the press." Zayden says.
Finnick must've made a motion or something because Zayden leaves.
My breathing is starting to slow but that is just making my grasp tighter. I can hear Finnick wince a few times.
"She's over here." Zayden says.
"Annie sweetie." Mags says and comes over to me. "You need to let go of Finnick. You need to get ready for the recaps." She says and I hide my face in his shoulder.
I feel her rub my shoulder and say comforting things and my grasp slowly loosens. When it's enough Finnick backs away quickly.
"Get changed sweetie." I hear her say. At first I think she is talking to me but she is looking at Finnick. He has makeup smudges on his shirt and jacket.
Mags starts wiping my face.
"Let's get you cleaned up." She says and we go back to my make up station.
I look at my reflection. The dress is still pretty but my face. All the makeup is sliding down my face. Black and blue stains are there and it is mixing with the snot and tears. My eyes look the worst. I just look dead inside. The crown is also placed perfectly on my head. It looks wrong on me
"Here we go." She says and helps me clean my face. I notice a guard or someone is following me around.
"Take that off we need to fix her hair." My prep team says. She reaches her pale orange hand to take my crown off but is stopped by the guard.
"Only the victor is allowed to touch that, unless you are wearing gloves." The man says.
Is he going to follow me around all day just to make sure people don't touch this stupid thing. He should just take it away now.
"Oh." She says confused. "Take it off then Annie."
I look at her confused.
"Take it off, your hair got messed up." She says.
I woodenly move my hands to my head and take the crown off. It's lighter than I thought it would be. I can get a better look at it. Whoever designed it did a beautiful job. I'm repulsed by the thing though, it represents something terrible.
I run my hands over the gems as they play with my hair and makeup. I don't have to change. I've seen my interview dress and know I will have to change for that.
We all get taken to the main stage. The mentors, my stylists, and, my escort all get to watch the recaps on stage with me.
Someone announces all our names as we walk out on stage. I sit in the middle with a spotlight on me. The gems from my crown sparkle and shine as I sit here. I don't watch. I don't want to. I just pretend to.
I see the lights brighten and the crowd erupts with screams.
I get escorted off the stage and to a different room to put on different makeup and my interview outfit.
"Put this on." My stylist says. She hands me a short pink dress that has slits cut out on the side and it has a see-through corset. There are gems all over the top so you can't see anything 'good' but I still feel exposed and I'm sure if you get it with the right lighting and right angle you could probably get a good view of my breasts. "We're going for sexy." She smiles.
I don't say anything but I wrinkle my nose in disgust. I get sparkle spray put on my body and stick on gems.
I look stupid. I have looked stupid this whole time. Not in the arena so much but, I was covered in blood.
I hear a loud noise. It sounds like those purple birds. Except it's louder and makes my head hurt. I put my hands over my ears trying to block it out. I rock back and forth subconsciously.
Someone takes my hands away from my ears and steadies my shoulders. It doesn't help the sound, so I cry out in pain.
"Relax you're all done now. We just need to record your interview with Caesar." My stylist says.
My hair is no longer in curls.
"Did you cut my hair?" I ask because it is in all different angles and noticeably shorter.
"Doesn't it look wonderful. Your mentors objected but, they also objected about you getting surgically enhanced so this was allowed." She smiles.
"Surgically enhanced?" I ask confused but she walks away. Finnick is the closest to me but before I can ask he answers.
"Did you notice how the dress is loose right here." She says and motions towards my chest. I didn't notice it until he pointed it out. "They wanted to make you bigger." He smirks. "And make you have a slimmer figure. And fix your nose it is apparently crooked."
"I broke my nose when I was little. I fell off a boat and my face hit the anchor." I mumble.
"That's your comment." Finnick smirks and I look at him annoyed.
"I'm talking about how they wanted to surgically make your breasts bigger and surgically make you have an hour glass figure but all you care about is the nose?" He says and is almost laughing.
I don't say anything.
"Why didn't that happen?" I whisper.
"When mentors get upset they don't usually go forward."
"I can't imagine Mags yelling at someone." I mutter.
"It was everyone Annie. Everyday you were in the hospital. Didn't you ever wonder why one of us was always with you?" He asks.
I shake my head.
"Well that was why. Although sometimes mentors can't get people to see reason."
"Oh." I whisper.
"Since you're not of age they feel they can do whatever the hell they want."
"Aren't they already?" I say and move my crown.
"For what it's worth you look really sexy with that hair cut."
I roll my eyes.
"I bet you use that line all the time." I say and sniff.
"I was trying to make you feel better geez."
I sigh and see they have painted my fingernails a deep red.
People start coming in and fix lighting and such then Caesar comes in with his puke green hair color.
I hear that screeching noise again and place my hands on my ears. Someone takes them off right away.
"Stop that." I hear Viola say.
They tell me to fix my Victor Crown and I do.
"Come here." Someone says and grabs my hand. They have me stand and play with the lights. "Good."
They tell me to pose because whatever this pose is will be the first thing the audience sees and the last scene they show. I don't know what they expect me to do. I can't make some sexy pose.
Someone gets frustrated so Finnick and Viola place my hands and legs where they want them. Finnick tells me to giggle and wink. I think I do it poorly but Finnick seems amused.
"Alright take one of Victor Annie the final interview." A director says. They tell me to sit and then Caesar makes his mock entrance.
We start off by joking how we thought we would never see each other again because almost no one bet that I would win. Caesar comments on my dress and crown. Then we get into what we are supposed to get to, the games. He starts with the recaps but I get confused by the questions because I wasn't paying attention.
"Just smile and say yes." I hear Cora say from somewhere.
"Now swimming in the arena probably helped because of all the swimming you do at home."
"I-I-" I swallow hard and start to hear the screeching again.
My hands go to my ears. The sound keeps getting louder and louder. I also hear an insect like noise.
I don't know how long I sit like this but when I take my hands away my fingers are stiff and I feel tears on my cheeks.
I look around the room and see the set is full with impatient people and my mentors.
I can hear whispering and muttering.
"What's wrong with her?" I hear Caesar say.
Right I was supposed to be doing my interview.
"No idea." A voice says that sounds familiar. "But you've seen tributes in shock before."
"Not like this." Caesar says.
I sniffle and almost everyone in he room is looking at me now.
"What was the question?" I croak out.
"Oh… um… it was about swimming." Caesar says uncomfortable.
"Oh yes I like to swim. I do it all the time at home." I say in a strange tone.
"And that helped in the arena I'm sure." He says.
I hear that strange noise again. It is giving me a headache.
I scrunch my eyebrows together.
"It hurts." I whisper. "It's so loud." I say. I place my hands over my ears again.
"God dammit. Just edit what you can together this is going nowhere." I hear a muffled voice say.
The noise is not the screeching purple birds this time, it sounds like cicadas. I like the sound of cicadas but this is more vicious. It makes it feel like they have crawled inside my ears just to make that sound.
That only makes me press my hands tighter over my ears.
I can tell I'm crying again or at least I think I am.
I don't know how long I sit here but, when I take my hands away and open my eyes I see all the filming equipment has gone, along with all the people. In fact I'm all alone sitting in the dark.
I flex my fingers because of how stiff my fingers are.
I stand up and fall down because of the shoes I forgot I was wearing. I throw them off and stand back up slowly.
"She obviously lost it." I hear Cora say.
"Wouldn't be the first victor." Zayden says.
"Do you think we should leave her all by herself?" Finnick asks.
"She isn't going to hurt herself, she's just covering her ears and closing her eyes." Cora says.
"Mags would probably sit with her." Finnick says.
"Well she has to deal with what just happened and if you care so much you sit with her. You like to sit with girls." Cora says.
Someone sighs.
"I'll sit with her." Zayden says but it doesn't matter because I stumble into the room.
All eyes are on me.
"What happened? My interview? Where is everyone?" I ask.
"They left because they got what they needed." Zayden says.
"But I didn't really answer questions." I say.
"She's got you there." Cora sneers.
"You had a fit or something. Couldn't focus on anything. So they left." Finnick says carefully and both Cora and Zayden are looking at him with disapproval. I guess they weren't supposed to tell me this.
"O...okay?" I say confused.
Finnick nods.
"Can I go home then?" I ask.
"Not yet. They still need your autograph anyways." Zayden says.
"Autograph?" I say confused.
"You have to sign your name before they put your crown in the crystal box for display." Zayden says.
I touch the top of my head.
"Where is it?" I ask.
"They took it away from you when you started…" Cora trails off. "We'll get an Avox to send a message that you're ready." Cora puts her hand up as if to block the sun from her eyes. "The crystals are starting to fall off your dress." I look down and see she is right.
"You can't change though. They take your picture when you sign the paper so they can place it next to the crown in the museum." Zayden says
I sigh.
"Can they fix my dress then?" I ask and move my hands to cover myself.
"The stylist has left to go home." Zayden says with sympathy
"But…" I say and feel exposed.
"She can wear the green dress." Finnick says.
"No. It's tradition to have them wear their interview outfit." Zayden says.
I moan and lie my head down on the table.
"They made my hair gross and now I have to take a picture pretty much topless." I whimper.
I can feel a hand rubbing my back. I sniff. I try not to cry but, when I do I hear the fake cicadas. It's too bad too because we have cicadas at home. I like that strange chirp noise they make. I don't think I'll be able to say that again.
I rub my temples hoping that will help. The cicadas are bearable but the sounds of the screeching purple birds aren't.
"Were's Mags?" I ask softly.
"After your interview she had to talk to… the press." Zayden says very carefully. She probably had some apologizing to do.
I sigh.
By the time the message gets to the right people most of the gems of my dress have fallen off. You can pretty much see my breasts and stomach.
Finnick suggested we just try to put them back on but they wouldn't stick.
I get the crown placed in my hands. Everyone is wearing gloves who is touching it except me.
"Now just sign your name there." Someone says and gives me a pen. I do but very sloppy. "Now we just need the picture." The photographer says.
I don't know if I should smile or something so I just stand there.
"Try and pose for me darling." He says.
I try and get into the slightly provocative pose Viola and Finnick made me do earlier but it is no use especially since I'm now half naked.
"Big smile." He says.
I do a half smile.
"There we go." He says and takes the picture. It's not a very good one but since I'm being a bother they probably don't even care. They take the crown and put it in a box and seal it shut so no one can open it now.
"Farewell." The man says and they take my crown and leave.
"Dinner is ready!" Viola says shortly after.
I don't care I walk back to my room crying on the way.
I take off the dress or what's left of
it and go to the shower. I press random buttons and don't even care when a strong smelling chemical green foam erupts from the walls. I lean my head against the wall. The tile is cool and makes me feel more at ease.
I stand here for a while and surprisingly the water never gets cold.
I sniffle and finally turn the water off. I still smell like that chemical foam but I don't care.
I go out to the lounge room and see they are still serving dinner.
I take what I want even though I know I should be having more.
I see a looks of concern on my mentors faces.
I sigh.
I want to yell at them but when I see my reflection I don't blame them. I still have make up on my face and it's rolling down my face. My hair is in a rats nest and I have a crazy look in my eyes.
"Let's fix that hair." Mags says gently and steps behind me. She brushes my hair. I can feel it being woven and can tell someone is braiding it.
The rest of the night they watch me. I feel like an animal trapped in a cage.
I just sit around and watch what is happening around me. They all try to get me to talk ,even Viola, but I
never answer.
Sometimes the screeching and cicada sounds come back. I try not to cover my ears but sometimes it is so intense that I need to.
They eventually tell me it's bedtime but I don't leave the common room. Mags tries the hardest to get me to bed but she eventually gives in and heads to her own room.
Finnick left shortly after dinner. It's one in the morning when I hear the elevator ding
I don't bother getting up, I don't care either.
"Are you sure I can't see her?" I hear a woman pout.
"No I'm sorry love, she's probably asleep." Finnick says. He is talking to a blue woman. I know they are probably talking about me.
I can feel my nostrils flare from how I feel about the Capitol citizens for doing this to me.
I'm about to stand up and say something but the screeching comes back.
I sob from the intensity of it.
The sound of the purple birds and the cicadas are much more intense than they were in the arena.
This time the sound is almost unbearable. I wonder if I'm going crazy. Hearing things that aren't there is what crazy people do. God I hope I didn't leave my sanity in that arena.
I whimper and hear footsteps. The noise dies down and when I remove my hands I see Finnick is sitting across from me. He is staring at me just like everyone else was.
"You done?" Finnick asks.
"What do you mean 'done'?" I ask annoyed.
"You're attack or whatever the doctors called it."
"What?" I ask confused.
"Oh that's right they didn't tell you." He says softly.
"Tell me what?"
"That you're having panic attacks." He says casually.
"That's not what this is." I say because I don't feel panicked when I hear the noise. I just hear a noise. A disturbing noise that makes me want to black out and scream for it to go away.
"Sure." Finnick says unamused.
"I just hear those purple birds and the fake cicadas." I say and Finnick looks at me confused.
Finnick stands up. I think to leave but he comes back holding a glass square. He touches something and I see he has a video.
"This?" Finnick asks and presses a button.
It's nighttime in the arena and the purple birds start screeching and are pecking a tribute to death.
"Stop!" I shout and he turns it off.
"That sound happened all the time in your arena." He says.
"I was there. I know." I say angrily.
He sighs.
"Well why am I hearing it now?" I ask softly.
"Probably shock." Finnick says unamused.
"Did this happen to you?" I ask.
"No." He says. "I did have nightmares if that helps."
I sigh.
"Did?" I ask.
"What?" He asks confused.
"'Did' as in past tense." I say.
Finnick rolls his eyes but doesn't answer.
"What if this doesn't go away?" I ask voicing my fear of becoming a crazy person.
He shrugs his shoulders.
"Then it doesn't go away." He says casually.
"That's all you have for me? Aren't you supposed to be a mentor? Aren't you supposed to be good at giving advice? Don't you care at all?" I ask.
"I'm only nineteen give me a break." He mutters annoyed.
I sigh.
I hear a dentist like drill sound.
I put my hand on my temple.
"Annie?" He asks and starts to come closer to me. He takes my hand from my head. "You're okay." He says gently.
I breathe in and out then take his hand away.
"Sorry." He says.
I cock my head to the side as I see the background behind him isn't the hotel suite, it's the terrain, like in my arena.
"Annie." He says. "Annie."
I shake my head and then see just him.
"What's wrong with me?" I ask.
"Nothing, like I said you're in shock."
"I don't think that's true." I whisper.
Finnick looks at me sadly.
"Then you're like this forever. There are worse things." He says.
"Like what?"
He opens his mouth.
"You could be dead." He says.
"Yes so I can suffer for the rest of my days." I say.
"It's not all bad. It's not like you'll never be happy again. There are moments when you know there is still good in the world. There are moments that you know there's something to live for."
I sigh.
"You can still have a good life Annie. It may not be the one you were looking for but-" He shrugs. "It's not terrible." He says.
"Speaking from experience?" I ask.
"You could say so." He says softly.
We both look around awkwardly.
"Why don't they let us keep those stupid crowns?" I ask.
"Why did you want it?" He asks with a smile.
"Not really but, I didn't even wear it twenty four hours and actual detail was put into it." I say.
He nods.
"It's because it wasn't made for you." He says.
I look at him confused.
"It was made for them." He says and motions out the window. I know he means the Capitol citizens. "Just like us." He says softly.
"What?" I say confused.
He shakes his head.
"Victors are only granted life so we can entertain the Capitol."
I nod.
"I think I know what you mean." I whisper. "You're the youngest one ever, so what's it like?" I whisper.
"What's what like?" He asks confused.
"After you win what's it like?" I ask.
"People fall in love with you. People you don't even know, know your name and want to know everything about you. It's because we are a very small probably considered endangered species."
"Species?" I ask confused.
"There's only seventy victors compared to the thousands of people who populate Panem. So people want to get to know you because you're viewed as desirable, you're viewed as unique, you're viewed as important and special "
"You make it sound terrible." I say softly.
"Things aren't what they seem Annie." He says softly.
I want to ask what he means but he says something that surprises me.
"Oh, I meant to tell you this earlier. I convinced the guy to… edit you in your photo." He says.
I look at him confused.
"You won't be seen." He says and motions towards his upper torso.
"Oh." I whisper.
He nods.
"How did you pull that off?" I ask.
"Let's just say I know someone." He says vaguely.
"Thank you." I say and hug him. He is startled by this. "Thank you." I whisper.
I swallow hard.
"Well the world shouldn't see you unless you want them too." He says
"The world has already seen too much of me." I whisper
"Me too." He whispers.
I feel like Finnick isn't telling me the big picture but he is making me feel better. I guess that is all that counts, maybe Finnick could help me hold onto my sanity. After all, I need someone to.