Undaa, Hakar, Senes, Stardate 2275.274

Losha arrived back at his public housing unit that night feeling elated. He barely remembered the tram ride. In fact, he had nearly forgotten to get off at the right stop to change trams and then again when he arrived at the stop near his unit. The unit was an older building in the city center. It had been designed to house one person per room but with the number of people flooding into the city from the war zones, public housing was in short supply so the rooms were now double occupancy. Each of the six floors contained twenty rooms, with a shower room at one end, a toilet room at another, and a tiny galley kitchen in the middle. As there was no room in the kitchen, tables for two or four people lined the hallways, making it difficult to pass at times. No matter the hour, there was always someone sitting at one or more of the tables, eating, drinking, or socializing. As he walked down the hallway on the fourth floor towards his room, residents sitting at the tables and standing in conversation greeted him. He only managed a head nod in reply. His mind was elsewhere.

When he reached his room, he found Joa and Malar, Malar sitting on Losha's bed and Joa on his own. The narrow room had a bed on each side but no room for a chair. Though Malar did not live in the unit, she spent a great deal of time there. Her unit was further from the city center and she preferred to be in the midst of city life. She also did not care much for her roommate, whom she described as self-centered and pretentious. One might say the same of Malar if one didn't know her as Losha did. Malar cared for few people and few dared to cross her but she was fiercely loyal to the few friends she had, namely Joa and Losha.

"What happened to you?" Losha was shaken from his reverie by Malar's frank voice. He gave her a puzzled looked. "You look happy. Too happy," she said as she brought drink up to her mouth.

"Oh," he said sitting down beside her.

"So why the look? What happened?"

"Vensar kissed me."

"I see. That explains the look. So what happened?"

"I told her I liked her and on the way home from the stalta, she kissed me."

"And that was it?"

"Yes. She had a lot of work tonight. She said she didn't want me to go though." He looked wistfully out the window, which faced the general direction of Malar's dormitory.

"What about her boyfriend?" Joa asked.

"I didn't ask. I hope they broke up."

"I know you're not going to listen to me anyway, Losha, but be careful. I don't think I need to remind you of Kreseen."

Kreseen had been the first girl to show any interest in Losha, aside from neighborhood girls who had tried to bestow innocent kisses on him when he was very young and girls still frightened him. Kreseen had been a classmate, someone he knew only casually, but she had been curious and he became interested in her because she was interested in him. They had had little in common but, being lonely and believing she may be the only girl who would ever be interested in him, Losha had convinced himself he was in love. It hadn't lasted long, not even a quarter of a year, which on Senes was three hundred and five days. Her curiosity apparently sated, Kreseen had abruptly ended their relationship and then avoided him altogether.

At first he had felt heartbroken and angry that she had used him in such a manner but eventually he realized that as much as she had been using him, he had also been using her. He wouldn't have thought twice about her had she not shown interest in him. She had been curious about aliens and he had been curious about girls. He no longer thought of her except with a twinge of annoyance.

"You're right. I'm not going to listen to you. Even though I should." He smiled. Malar had become the sister he never had - the wiser, and until recently, taller, older sister. He now stood several centimeters over her but he knew she'd always think of him as the little brother who needed protecting.

"When are you going to see her again?" Joa asked.

"Nahaat."

"Why not tomorrow?"

"We don't have a class tomorrow. I don't know what her plans are. I can wait two days."

"Well, Malar's got something to hold you over." Losha turned to Malar, who pulled a small, clear bag out of her carry bag and held it out to him. It was sur.

"Where did you get it?" Though some people made sur at home, none of the three of them had the time nor inclination to go looking for the plant or to learn to prepare it, so they usually only managed to get a bit here and there from friends or other residents of the housing unit. To obtain this much, one would have to trade a good amount of credit chips, food, or other goods.

"Some rich guy I met at Hemai." Hemai was a cafe that Malar frequented due to its wealthy clientele. Young, beautiful, and confident, she never had trouble finding someone there who was willing to buy her a drink, a meal, or more.

Losha stuck his index finger in his mouth, then into the bag, and brought his finger, now covered with the substance, to his nose. He inhaled and passed the bag to Joa.

"Is this someone you plan to see again?" Joa asked as he dipped his finger in the bag.

"Tomorrow night."

"So he's a nice guy then?" Joa held his finger under nose.

"Yes, he's nice." She grinned. "Nice and rich."

"You know what I mean."

"I hardly know him. But yes, he seems nice." Joa tossed the bag back to Malar, who took some for herself. The bag went around several more times before Malar sealed it and returned it to her carry bag. It was the most sur Losha had ever had at once. Two sniffs was enough to allow him to skip two or three meals. After tonight, he could probably go several days without eating. Then he wouldn't have to waste time standing in line at the food distribution center. Or, if he chose, he could stand in line anyway and later trade the food for something else or save non-perishable items for later. That was probably best. He hated the lines but he should be prepared in case there was a shortage of something later.

In addition to being an appetite suppressant, sur was a stimulant. The small amounts he had consumed before had made him feel alert, perhaps a little excited. This time, however, he felt happiness. True, the feeling had started with the kiss earlier that evening but the drug made it more intense. It was a happiness different from any he had experienced. It was the happiness of not caring - not caring that his mother was dead, that his father had virtually abandoned him, and that he was stuck alone on a planet with a war that had no end in sight. He had once been desperate to see his father again - now it didn't matter.

He had also often agonized over the fact that he had nothing to remember his parents by - now that seemed trivial. What was it his father had told him Vulcans believed? Attachment to material objects is illogical. Maybe they were right about that. And maybe they were right about emotions. Who wanted to feel sadness, anger, and despair when they could feel feel this happiness of not caring? Ah, but this happiness was an emotion too and he supposed they didn't approve of that. No wonder his parents had left Vulcan. Vulcans probably didn't approve of attachment to people either. Yet if it hadn't been for Kadren, Malar, and Joa, he'd have had no reason to live. And now there was Vensar. If he'd only known sooner that sur had this kind of power. He leaned back against the wall, content. He was hooked.