Undaa, Hakar, Senes, Stardate 2275.275

Losha awoke the next morning feeling a vague, unexplained sadness. Perhaps it was because he had been thinking of his parents the night before. Though thoughts of them came to him less often now than when he was younger, they were always there, waiting to surface. There was an unbearable sadness and agony at the memory of his mother; of his father, a less intensive sadness mixed with feelings of abandonment and anger.

He brushed the feelings aside, thinking of Vensar and what had transpired between them the previous evening. He paid little attention in his classes that day, unable to think of anything but seeing her the following day. As Malar was out with her rich friend that evening, he and Joa spent the night in their unit without her. The noise from the conversations in the hallway always made it difficult to concentrate, and with thoughts of Vensar on his mind, he gave up studying altogether and went to join one of the conversations.

He had no idea what took place in his mathematics class the following day, such was his anticipation of seeing Vensar. Though he got to Ursai class early in order to speak with her first, they only had a few minutes to talk before the instructor arrived. Afterwards, the two of them lagged behind in the hallway again.

"Shall we go to the stalta?" He asked.

"Do you really want to go?"

"No," he replied truthfully. He only wanted to be alone with her.

"Me neither. We can go to my dormitory." She looked at him hesitantly.

"Alright." He smiled and took her hand. "But won't everyone wonder where we are?"

"Who cares?" She smiled.

Vensar's dormitory was a few streets away. He had walked past it many times, had stopped outside it to talk with Vensar and other students who lived there, but this was the first time he'd been inside. It was a striking contrast to his public housing unit. To the left of the main entryway there was a large, bright lounge with about ten small tables where students sat talking and studying.

He followed Vensar past the lounge to a stairway at the back. The stairs were covered in a notched rubber-like material for traction. Later, when he would think of Vensar, he would remember the smell the material emitted. Not pleasant or unpleasant, just a distinct, strong smell. When they reached the third floor, she pushed the exit door open and he followed her down an immaculately clean hallway, so unlike the crowded, cluttered ones in his unit. They passed a kitchen, this one large enough to accommodate a table for six, before Vensar stopped at one of the doorways and entered a code. Her room was about the same size as the one he shared with Joa, but there was only one bed, leaving enough room for a desk and chair. There was also small bathroom attached.

"What?" Vensar asked, noticing him examining the room.

"Your room is nice." It was a simple room but so pleasant compared to the rooms in the shelters and public housing units he had been living in for the past five years.

"It's like all the others. Nothing special." Vensar knew he lived in a public housing unit but she had probably never been in one and had no concept of what they were like. He said nothing, slightly embarrassed at the thought of his living situation. Instead, he took her hands in his and leaned in to kiss her. They stood there kissing for several minutes before he felt Vensar's hand slide up under his shirt. He slid a tentative hand under her shirt as well. Soon they began undressing each other.

"Have you done this before?" She asked as they moved to her bed.

"Yes. Have you?"

"Yes. You know, I have a boyfriend back home in Nisaya." Losha froze. He'd all but forgotten about Vensar's boyfriend, assuming they were no longer together. "I've been wanting to break it off with him but I haven't been home since the summer and I want to do it in person." Losha wasn't sure how to respond. "Does it bother you?"

"Yes, a bit," he sighed.

"We've been together since we were thirteen. I don't feel right just calling him up and ending it. He's a good person. And I'm very close to his mother."

"Then why do you want to break up with him?"

"I thought I was in love with him when I was thirteen. But we are different people now, we've grown up. I don't think of him in that way anymore. He's like a friend to me now."

"And I'm more than a friend?"

"Of course. Why do you think you're here with me now?" She stroked his hand and he immediately felt affection from her. He'd felt it all along but it was stronger when she touched his hand like this. He pushed any thought of her boyfriend aside and kissed her. It was different this time than it had been with Kreseen. There had been little emotion the times he had been with her, just awkward, physical acts. With Vensar, it felt tender. Tender. That was the emotion he would always associate with Vensar, an elusive emotion that he had yet to feel with another woman. Later, when they lay facing each other in the bed, he felt a very strong emotion from her.

"You are happy."

"Yes. Aren't you?"

"Yes, but I mean, I can sense it very strongly from you now."

"I wish I knew what that was like. To be able to sense emotions from people everywhere."

"Not everywhere and not all emotions. I don't know if I can explain it well. You have to pay attention to them. If you don't, it's kind of like when you're in class and you're thinking of something else. You hear the words but they don't sink in."

"That never happens to me," she teased. "It's not distracting?"

"Sometimes. A strong emotion can push itself into my thoughts even if I'm not paying attention. If a lot of people are having the same feeling, especially a bad one, it's difficult to ignore."

"When would a lot of people be having the same feeling?"

"Sadness. There is a lot of sadness in my building."

"I didn't think about that. I shouldn't have brought it up. Forgive me." She laid a hand on his cheek.

"There is nothing to forgive." He looked at her intently. "I can show you a little bit what it's like." He reached up and touched her cheek, concentrating. A look of surprise mixed with curiosity crossed her face.

"You are happy too."

"Yes."

"So this is what it's like?"

"Not exactly the same. I am letting you feel my happiness. But now, I'm not." He ceased projecting the feeling to her.

"It seems unfair. You can sense my emotions but I can't sense yours unless you let me. And how do I know you aren't lying about them?" She grinned.

"We can share thoughts, if you like."

"Share thoughts?"

"Yes, it is called the kash-nohv, the sharing of two minds."

"Really?"

"Yes."

"How does it work?"

"I can do it through touch. But it is very personal," he said, sliding his hand from her cheek and running it through her hair. "I don't think it's the right time yet but sometime...if you want to."

"I think sometime I will say yes." Losha slid his hand from her hair and down her body to her hip, across the plain of her stomach. He felt a slightly rumbling.

"Are you hungry?" He asked.

"A little bit."

"Do you want to eat?"

"The cafeteria won't be open for dinner for a while. And the food there is terrible anyway."

"You don't have anything here you can eat?"

"Are you hungry too?"

"A little." The truth was, he'd become very hungry. He hadn't eaten anything since he'd taken the sur nearly two days ago - he hadn't felt the need to. Whether it was Vensar making him think of it or their earlier physical activity, he suddenly realized how hungry he was.

"Losha..." Vensar hesitated.

"What?" He continued to run his hand slowly over her stomach and hip and back again.

"Have you ever tried sur? So you aren't so hungry?"

"Yes."

"Shall we have some now?"

"If you want." She got up and removed a small container from the wardrobe opposite the bed.