Talent
"Now tell me again." I say to Annie gently.
"I'm the victor of the 70th Hunger games." Annie says softly.
"Keep going." I tell her gently. I need Annie to get this through her head. Her Victory Tour is coming up and some days it seems like she doesn't remember she is a victor. I only know this because sometimes she asks the groundskeepers why all of her stuff is in her house. I wouldn't say Annie has gone crazy, but it's clear something in her head is broken.
"The arena was rocky; lots of earthquakes." She pauses again.
I need her to say it so I know she truly understands. I need to know so her mind remembers.
"Yes. What happened down by the pond?" I ask. When Annie doesn't deny she is a victor she seems to deny what the most exciting event her games was. That was when her district partner, Ashland, was beheaded. They showed this multiple times in her recap because nothing else was deemed 'exciting' enough.
"I don't want to talk about that." She says and twirls her hair. This makes me somewhat happy because she must remember if she doesn't want to talk to me. Still, I need to hear her say it.
"Annie tell me what happened at the pond."I say again.
"I said I don't want to talk about that!" She shouts this time.
It's silent for a few moments.
I really don't want to upset her, but I don't think that is possible at this moment. After the Victory Tour, Annie can ignore me all she wants, but for right now I need to make sure she is okay. I need to make sure she can get through it.
"What happened at the pond?" I ask more gently.
Annie looks down and starts picking at her cuticles
"Blood all over myself." She closes her eyes and breathes in and out. "Ashland's head fifty feet from his body." Her chin starts trembling. "People were chasing after me." She says and opens her eyes. "People were looking to kill me. Loud screeching." She puts her hands over her ears, probably trying to block out the memory of the animals that would screech so loudly at night it drove Annie into insanity. Most of the other tributes killed the mutts, but Annie didn't have a weapon and wasn't all there since Ashland died. She just cried and pulled on her hair like a mad person.
"Annie." I say. Annie takes her hands away and hits me in the chest. "Annie calm down." I say and grab her forearms so she can't hit me again.
"Why are you doing this to me!" She sobs. "Why do you keep doing this to me!" She says. I understand stand what she means. I ask her this almost every day. I know they will ask her about this incident during her Victory Tour. I need to make sure she doesn't start having a break down on stage or during a celebration.
"Annie, I need to make sure you remember." I say.
"Why can't you just let me live in blissful ignorance? I don't understand what's wrong with that?!" She says and pushes me away.
"Because, that's not how it will work. You're a mentor now and you've got the Victory Tour. People are going to be asking you questions, probably about the pond-"
"Shut up Finnick." She says softly.
"Annie-"
"I said shut up." She says and shoves me.
"Annie I'm doing this because I care about you." I say. I'm not lying, not really.
"If you cared about me you would let me live in my world."
"What's it like in your world then?" I ask her.
"In my world," she closes her eyes and breathes in and out. "In my world I would still be the girl with the plain face who blends into the crowd. The girl who doesn't attract attention and doesn't want it either. I'd just be the quite weird girl who sits in the back of the class. I'd be the unimportant middle child." She says.
"That sounds depressing." I say before I can stop myself because I know that's what her life was probably like before. Although, I doubt she is as unlikable as she is making out. There is always that quite kid who sits in the back.
"It wasn't." She says. "I liked just being another face in the crowd. I like having only a few friends."
"This isn't about Ashland or the screaming animals." I say. Her face turns white but she nods. It must be something deeper for her to be sobbing all the time. She misses her old life. The one she was supposed to have but it got taken from her as soon as her name was drawn. I wonder why people didn't volunteer. Not just for her year but for mine as well. District 4 is made out to be strong killers but the truth is... we aren't. Not like 1 and 2 anyways. I think it is because we team up with them. If we team up with the ruthless killers then your chances of making it to the end are stronger. I guess people don't recognize that District 2 tributes usually have the most kills, no matter the outcome of the victor.
"Everyone knows my name, they know what I look like too. I don't like that." She says.
"They'll forget in a few years." I say. Victors like Annie will be forgotten; soon. The Capitol doesn't want the face of a crying teen being a face for the new Victor. They want someone who is strong or clever. Or at least someone who can act flirty for a crowd and cry while they are alone.
"They didn't forget about you." She says angrily.
I sigh.
"That's because I like to charm the crowd." I say.
She rolls her eyes.
"Speaking of charming a crowd you need to practice for the Victory Tour. Viola sent some practice exercises." I say.
"I don't like speaking in front of a crowd." She mutters.
"It's not so bad Annie." I tell her.
"Finnick, I couldn't even give speeches in school without wanting to throw up and that is only twenty people. There will be hundreds in these crowds." Annie says.
I sigh.
"Look at the horizon then." I tell her.
"That doesn't work, I know they are still watching." She says.
"Well…" I trail off not knowing what to say. How can you help someone get over a fear of public speaking.
"Fine forget the public speaking part." I say. She will be able to handle that in the heat of the moment. I'm sure practicing of the train for a few days with Viola will help as well.
Annie raises her eyebrows.
"Viola is also interested in your talent." I tell her. Apparently Annie hasn't followed up with Viola's calls and she is getting impatient with Annie. Which is why Viola called me. Annie can't fake this before a Victory Tour the Victor needs to show off what they are doing with their time now.
Annie snorts.
"I don't have talent Finnick!" She shouts loudly which startles me. She puts her hands over her ears again.
I run my fingers through my hair. Why do I have to help Annie with these things? Why can't it be Mags? I think to myself. It's not that I don't want to help Annie it's that I can't. I don't know how to help someone. I should be able to because Annie and I share similar events and problems, but I just can't. Maybe I don't like being that vulnerable with someone else. Whatever the case may be, I should not be Annie's first choice. I do know it can't be one of the other victors. They wouldn't be able to help her, with the acceptation of Mags.
"I'm sure you can do something, Capitol citizens just want to be amused. Think of them as small children. Anything will amuse them." I tell her even though she has started to hum to herself. I've spent enough time with her to know that she does this only when she is trying to block everything out. So I know she clearly doesn't want to talk to me.
I hear Annie's front door open. I see it is her eldest sister coming in. Her sister looks nothing like Annie. She has blonde hair and tan sick while Annie has brown hair and is slightly pale. Annie is almost sickly pale now, she has been ever since the games ended.
"Finnick." Her sister Arabella says in awe.
"Arabella." I say. She starts blushing. I've only had brief conversations with Annie's family, but I can tell Arabella has well… an interest in me. While her sister Alice shows disgust and distrust. I honestly don't know which I prefer.
"Annie." Arabella says and shakes her roughly, something I would never do. Annie starts screaming and Arabella rolls her eyes.
"You're back." Annie whispers ashamed.
"Of course I am, and I see Finnick is here as well." She says and smiles at me.
"He was helping me." Annie mumbles.
"With what?" Arabella asks intrigued.
"The Victory Tour." I say and Annie nods. "We were also discussing a talent your sister might possess." I say maybe her sister will share something Annie isn't.
Arabella rolls her eyes.
"Annie is pretty plain." She says and looks at Annie's wrist which has a bracelet woven with many different colored ropes and sea shells.
"Did you make that?" I ask and reach for her wrist but she pulls it away quickly. "Annie that would be satisfying for Viola and the Capitol citizens. People will buy them and-"
Annie starts to turn pink.
"She only gives her 'jewelry' to people she cares about." Arabella says. Annie looks at the floor. I don't understand why she is embarrassed by this. My talent was weaving grass, that's it.
"I won't share that with them." She whispers and starts to head upstairs.
I sigh and leave annoyed at Annie or myself, I can't decide which. I head to Mags' house hoping that she can help Annie instead of myself.
"Finnick." Mags smiles as she opens the door.
"Mags." I say and hug her.
"What can I help you with?" She asks.
"How did you know I needed help?" I ask.
"The look in your eyes." She smiles.
"I need your help with Annie."
"But Finnick she's your tribute." She says.
"I want to help her, but I don't know how. I was never very good at stuff like this. I-"
"All I'm hearing Finnick are excuses." She smiles.
I sigh.
"I can't get her to practice the speeches and she refuses to pick a talent." I say slightly angry. I can't tell if it's at Annie, Mags, or myself.
"Finnick, she's scared." She says surprised.
"Well-"
"I remember a young fourteen year old who was scared as well." She smiles.
"But at least I practiced my speeches so I could prepare for the Victory Tour." I say.
"She is different from you Finnick but at the same time she is the same."
I roll my eyes.
"You can help her." She says
"I don't know how." I say again. "She wants to live in a fantasy world where she is just another face in the crowd. A world where she wants to be unnoticed." I say.
"And you can't relate to that at all?" Mags says surprised.
"I can but we're both too old to play pretend." I say. I would love to be in a world where I'm unnoticed and have a plain face as well, but that's an impossible feat now.
"Finnick it hasn't even been a year for her and she's hurt. She needs someone who has experienced similar things."
I don't respond.
"You know what you need to do." She smiles.
I do, but I still don't understand how I can help her.
I go back to Annie's house. I knock on the door and her younger sister answers.
"Alice, is Annie here?" I ask.
"She's crying over something you said." Alice says with disgust.
"I've come to apologize." I lie. I know her sister will let me in then.
"Fine." She sighs. I see Annie muttering to herself on the couch. I'm not the one who caused that.
She is snapping her wrist with a rubber band over and over again it must be a nervous tick or something.
I touch her hand to get her to stop.
She looks up at me.
"What do you want?" She asks.
"Forgiveness. I shouldn't have pushed you." I say. I can tell Arabella and Alice are watching us. It isn't exactly easy to talk to someone with an audience.
Annie stands up quickly and grabs my hand. She starts dragging me outside. We end up going to the beach. We both sit and watch the waves roll in.
"Do you want to know why I make them?" She whispers.
"Make what?" I ask.
She points at her wrist.
"Sure." I say slightly unamused.
"I make them when I can't sleep." She says softly and it is silent for awhile. "I make dream catchers as well." She looks into my eyes. "It beats seeing the nightmares." She smirks.
"So that's why you don't want to share it with the Capitol?" I ask with understanding now.
"No, that's not it." She says.
"Then what is it?" I ask again.
"Before the games... I would only give them to the people I care about." I say.
"Like a friendship bracelet?" I say.
She shakes her head.
"Kinda, it was more of a pact really. I made them so if anyone I cared about got called into the arena they would have a token." She says softly.
I think back to a tribute a few years ago.
"Lila Titan, you gave her one?" I ask. I remember a tribute a couple of years ago had a bracelet like Annie does.
Annie hugs herself.
"Yes. Her family gave it back to me." She says. I just now notice she has more than one bracelet on her wrist.
"It was your token too?" I ask but I know the answer.
"Yes." She whispers and rests her forearm to her chest. "I can't make bracelets for them when I make them for the people I care about. I make them so the people I care about can be reminded of home." She says.
"I understand." I say. I would've never guested this.
"What about the dream catchers?" I ask.
"I make them when I can't sleep. It would be ironic if they bought them." She smiles.
That's not the word I would use, but it would be because the reason she can't sleep is because of what the Capitol did to her.
"I guess we found your talent then." I say.
Annie nods.
"I guess so." She whispers.
I wake up in the morning and leave my house to go on my regularl run. I stop before I leave the porch because I feel something on the door knob. It's a bracelet and I can tell Annie made it. I look across the street and see Annie sitting on her porch. She's playing with twine and beads. She's making a dream catcher.
She waves and I wave back and put on the bracelet. I guess this means Annie cares about me too, either that or she just couldn't sleep.