Soft, high-pitched giggles: easily the best thing in the whole world to wake up to. Laxus cracked an eye open to find his son tickling his daughter and sat up in the bed. Once they were awake, it was absolutely futile to try and go back to sleep.

Having a daughter, a parent had a completely different considerations than with a son.

The fact that Layla was cute and shy and sweet was kind of adorable at the age she was at, but Laxus was fairly convinced that it would be a problem for her growing up. Social anxiety really wasn't cute in anyone over the age of two, and a girl needed self-confidence to be successful and happy.

He decided it was a good day for them to visit the guild.

After everyone was clean, dressed, and fed, Laxus spent a few minutes trying to fix his daughter's hair. This was a mysterious process to him. Lucy left instructions with pictures on a mirror, and after no less than an hour, at which point Layla had become uncooperative, Chelia heard her screams and came.

Layla was sitting there on the bed in the master bedroom crying from under a ball of fluffy, static-ridden blonde hair because Laxus had brushed the curls so many times they were just frizz.

Chelia shook her head as she picked up Layla. "You're a terrible father."

She carried the infant down the hall on one hip, speaking softly to her, "It's okay. Daddy's bad at hair. You can tell when you look at his, right?"

Laxus looked at his own hair in the mirror and ruffled it, but he couldn't really do much with it since it grew like it did. "Bad at hair," he absently repeated to himself.

Chelia brought Layla back to him in fifteen minutes with cute little curled blonde pigtails tied with ribbons and a blue polka dot dress with ruffled, white socks and blue shoes. "Here you go."

"Thanks."

He found his son infinitely easier to get ready. Shirt, pants, sneakers, comb his hair a little, and go. Chelia and Lucy gave him what he felt was an unreasonable amount of flack when he dressed Layla because he was evidently bad at matching girl clothes. He tried to match stripes and polka dots once and he thought he'd never hear the end of it.

The baby was still mad at him while they were walking to the guild, and he felt a little bad for being amused by it. Their son got mad faster and forgot it just as quickly, but Layla could hold a grudge for hours.

"You're just like Mama. So cute when you're pissed."

Layla made a little growl of a reply and he smirked and blew in her ear, which made her growl again. He repeated this until she was showing signs she might cry, and then kissed her hair.

Laxus was holding her at his side and was holding his son's hand as they walked passed the train station and Yuri caught a scent that was interesting to him and suddenly jerked away from his father and ran like a madman into the train station. He had a much sharper sense of smell than his father did, so Laxus didn't pick up the scent at first.

Yuri sprinted in between the legs of the people in the crowded train station, went under metal bars that separated the waiting area from the arrival area, and ran straight into a strange man's legs, which he sniffed curiously.

Ivan Dreyar looked down at the toddler sniffing him like a little puppy, and Yuri looked up at him. "Who are you!" the toddler demanded.

The man's eyebrows rose. "Who am I? Who are you!"

Ivan looked down at the boy. "You look just like.."

"YURI, don't you ever run away from me…" Laxus was growling a threat as he grabbed Yuri by one arm and picked him up and put him on his other hip. He trailed off when he found himself face-to-face with his father.

The two men hadn't seen one another in years, and Ivan had been out of the loop in another country. As far as he knew, his son was still a man-whoring batchelor who drank too much.

"Son?"

"Deadbeat. Did you have something to do with what happened at my house?" he growled, lightning sparking angrily.

Ivan was a little terrified as he had no idea who happened at his son's house. "No. I'm just switching trains. Trying to get to Alvarez."

Laxus knew his father wasn't lying as his father seemed very confused by everything in that moment. It was an unfortunate coincidence, but luckily for Ivan, the kids had been present and Laxus asked first before he blasted him to ashes.

There were actually moments where Ivan wasn't up to anything bad, stupid, or evil and Laxus realized pretty quickly this was one of them.

Ivan stared at his son, who had a kid on each hip, and pointed from Yuri to Layla. "What are those?"

His son looked at his babies and answered in a flat, annoyed tone, "They are children."

"...yours?"

Eyebrow twitching in annoyance, Laxus sarcastically answered, "I bought the boy from an ad I saw in the newspaper and the girl I found crawling around in the woods the other day."

Yuri interrupted him. "No, we came from Mommy's tummy."

Ivan almost couldn't bend his mind around the idea. "My sweet little Laxus is a father...to my sweet little grandbabies!"

"Hell no indeed," Laxus said as he spun and started to remove himself and his little ones from his father's presence.

Ivan tried to make a case for himself as he followed his son out of the train station. "My sweet little Laxus, wait! I've been doing well. I haven't even been in the country for years. I've been teaching magic to some orphans in Brago."

He actually had heard that rumor about his father, and considering how completely stupefied Ivan was by the idea he was a father, it was obvious he hadn't been keeping tabs on him or Fairy Tail. Not stalking his own son was a new high for Ivan, and while Laxus didn't want him around, he was glad his father had at least made it that far.

His father followed him halfway to Fairy Tail when Laxus finally turned and asked, "What on earth do you want?"

Ivan really wasn't sure. "Let me just look at them. How old are they?"

Their father answered, "Yuri is two. Layla is seven months old."

"They have the same mother?"

"Yes of course. God, what kind of person do you think I am?"

"My sweet little Laxus, you don't want me to answer that."

His son sighed. "Look, I got married to Lucy Heartfilia. You stalked our guild so you probably know a lot about her. We've had two kids."

"Will there be more?"

"I don't think so."

Ivan clasped his hands together and swooned when Layla peeked at him shyly. "They're so cute I feel like you should have at least ten."

"So, the guy that couldn't raise one kid is telling me that I should have ten. Help me understand that, Dad."

His father reached out to pat Yuri on the head. "You're obviously a good father. I think this may surprise you, but I wasn't naturally very good at parenting."

"You abandoned me and then almost killed me, so that's not surprising at all."

It was bothersome to see how happy his father was about the babies because Laxus was trying very hard to continue to think of him as the world's biggest asshole. Ivan was downright mushy about Yuri and Layla, and the rumors seemed to be true about him living a reasonably helpful life where he contributes to society.

"Gorgeous woman. I knew these kids were cute for a reason. They must get it from her. You son favors you though, doesn't he? Pops too," he said as he looked from Yuri to Layla, "...this one looks like me."

Laxus looked down at his adorably gorgeous daughter and said, "I don't know if you know this or not, but you're basically the ugly one in the family and I kind of assume some kind of horrible mutation took place when you were conceived. Neither of my kids bears any resemblance to you."

Ivan pointed at Layla's little ears. "Slightly pointed, elfin looking ears...that's mine all damn day, Laxus. High cheekbones, cute little chin."

When Ivan pointed out his own features and then pointed them out on Layla and Laxus saw them side by side, Laxus realized that Layla's face did look like his father's, and the ears he couldn't even deny. The idea that his perfect little daughter looked like his ugly decrepit father was enough to make his stomach turn and raise his irritation level to fever pitch. He knew he wouldn't be able to unsee it.

Ivan loomed in and cooed at the baby, "You look just like me, don't you?"

Layla started crying because she was shy and a little afraid, but to Ivan, it seemed like she was crying because she looked like him. She hid her head in her father's chest and became quiet, unwilling to look at or acknowledge her grandfather.

"I'm sorry! Please don't cry, I'll take it back!" Ivan quickly and awkwardly said.

Laxus didn't even know how to handle his father since he was evidently trying very hard to be nice and normal. "It's strange how awkward you are around them. You're like a person who has never had a kid."

"Why is that strange?"

"Because I'm your kid, obviously."

Laxus knew there was a limited amount of time he could stand there and talk before his kids got annoyed, so he tilted his head to gesture to a nearby cafe. He really didn't know why he was humoring his father, although he suspected it was because he was a father now and he wanted to believe that no matter how crazy things got, Yuri would always believe in him.

They went to a corner booth, Laxus ordered cookies for the little ones and coffees for the men. Ivan sat on one side of the booth and Laxus sat with Layla in his lap and Yuri beside them.

"So what the fuck have you been doing?" he asked.

Ivan furrowed his brows. "Do you really curse like that in front of your kids?"

Laxus bristled at the idea Ivan was attempting to ask him about parenting, but looked down. "Yuri, tell this man what happens when you say a bad word."

"Daddy makes me go bzzzzzt!"

"You discipline your child with lightning," Ivan mumbled in disbelief.

Laxus leaned his head on his hand. "Oh look, the man who abandoned me at birth is criticising my choices as a father. Besides, it's effective and I don't have to get up from the couch to do it. Otherwise, I have to get up, chase the little rascal halfway across the house, listen to him plead for mercy...it's a big hassle."

Yuri slid off the booth and went under the table and Laxus added, "My son is at an age where he likes to see how far he can go without pissing me off. Discipline is an important part of helping Yuri understand who is actually in charge."

The toddler climbed onto the booth on the other side next to Ivan.

When the waitress brought the coffee and cookies, Layla sat with both hands and nibbled at hers bit by bit while Yuri tore into his.

Ivan watched them with a little grin. "They seem like good kids. Are you happy?"

Laxus nodded.

"I'm glad."

There was a long, somewhat awkward silence, and Ivan said, "Let's talk about your mother."

"No thanks, my day's already kind of gone to shit, Dad."

"She says you never write and you never visit her."

Laxus drummed his fingers on the table. "So my other parent, who also abandoned me at birth to my alcoholic, philandering grandfather, feels like she is entitled to my time and attention. I could never figure out which one of you was worse, and then you almost killed me with the dragon lacrima and I realized it was you all along."

Ivan said, "Don't be like that. You mom would love to meet the grandkids."

"That's not going to happen," his son quickly answered.

"Why?"

"Because I'm not ready to tell my children what a prostitute is."

His father argued, "She's not a prostitute, she's an escort. Escorts don't sleep with their clients."

"And yet, I exist. I don't even know why you two have contact."

"We had a son together," Ivan answered with emphasis, as if he was making a valid point.

Laxus wondered how his family became so dysfunctional, although he didn't mind it so much anymore since nothing crazy had gone down in a while. "I think that would only be a reasonable excuse if you actually raised that child together. If you both leave the child, you have no reason to talk to each other."

Ivan cautiously asked, "What if we got back together?"

"I would continue to not care, not visit, and not write."

The idea was actually pretty gross to Laxus, and he tried not to think about it. Even if it was normal for people to be weirded out by the idea of their parents having sex, it was especially true if your father was Ivan Dreyar and your mother was an escort.

The idea that Ivan would plead her case before him was bizarre.

Ivan rested his head on his hand and sighed. "Son, we're not getting older. Imagine this: your mother and I together with you and your family on the holidays."

Laxus did consider it, and he found the idea so unnervingly terrible that he shook his head. "I would rather die horribly and over a long period of time."

Ivan felt like trying to talk to his son was like trying to have a meaningful conversation with a brick wall that someone had spray painted assorted obscenities on. He could make no progress, and his son was wholly unpersuaded to change anything about the way he related to his parents.

"Does your wife know about your mother?"

His son settled back down. "So the thing is, because it's kind of unusual for a mother to abandon her kid, everyone just kind of assumes my mother is probably dead and they don't ask because it would be a painful memory for me. I just leave it just like that."

"You've been married for years and you've never told Lucy about your mother."

Laxus shrugged.

For the record, Lucy did ask, and he lied and told her his mother was dead four years prior and had never revisited the issue in order to set the record straight. He felt like that lie was just kind of floating in the ether, waiting on an opportunity to backfire.

He tensed and took a deep breath. "Please do not bring Mom around. Lucy will kill me."

Ivan smiled. "What I hear you saying is that I can come to dinner with your adorable family next time I'm in town and you will let me play with your precious little babies."

"And now we've come full circle back to extortion and lies."

His father smirked. "Reminds you of the good old days, doesn't it?"

"I'll let you come to dinner one time. Warn me before you come so I can prepare Lucy. I won't let you mess with the kids, because if you play with them, they'll trust you, and I don't want that."

"Deal."

Please Review!

AN: So, quite a few people have requested an Ivan appearance. I wanted it to be a little lighter. I want to believe Ivan doesn't have to be batshit crazy, although he is in my other story. I think they probably had some good times, or Laxus wouldn't have been upset when Makarov put him out of the guild.

Special thanks to Numinous-Alqua, Tardisthrufandom, savygirl1515, yumeyumi1986, mewhee, xxshyxx, lucyxheartfiliaxfan, kurahieiritr JIO, Angela Magic, w1n6s-0r-f1r3, crystal3300, guest, boyceashlee, sidfr100, katiekat2001, undertheskys, aoutre, lalu-forever, katelyn, court818, the alicehuntt, jhdavis1103, megumiyoung, swallowmysoul, supercrazyperson, thornado, and arouraleona for reviewing!