Undaa, Hakar, Senes Stardate 2281.72

It was the middle of the day late in the Hakaran winter. Undaa had a temperate climate and the temperature rarely dropped low enough in winter for most Hakarans to consider it cold. For them, late winter and early spring were the best times of year. For Losha, it was colder than he preferred though not unbearably so. It was the time of year when the inmates at Jail Number Six were most restless, as the old building contained only a small courtyard behind in which to walk. At all hours of the day it was filled, making it difficult to do anything other than lean against the walls.

Losha had been confined here for three months and it now seemed that he would have to serve the entire five month sentence. Though she had paid his release fee twice in the past, Malar had made it clear that she wasn't going to do so again. She felt that it was time he learn his lesson. He had been angry with her at first, but now understood and accepted her position. She was right. He had been throwing his life away and if she paid his release fee, he'd go right back to doing it. Even now, though he was no longer physically addicted to sur and kenal, he longed for them.

Since there was no way for his body to be active and he could not dull his mind, he busied himself with reading. Sciences, languages, history - he read it all. Lately, he noticed that he was increasingly coming across mentions of Vulcan or Vulcans. Or was it just that he was noticing them more often now than before? And if so, why? Once a mention of Vulcan seemed no more pertinent to him than a mention of Andoria, a planet he'd never seen, but now every time he saw the word, he paused. Perhaps being stuck in the jail for this long had made him sentimental. For the first time in several years, he began thinking of his mother. She would want better for him, he knew, but he didn't care enough to make any effort.

Fifteen days after he had been arrested, this time for intent to distribute an illegal substance, the war had finally come to an end. It had buoyed the spirits of the inmates for several weeks afterwards, but things had since gone back to normal. There wasn't much to celebrate when one was locked up. The planetwide embargo had been lifted and once he was released, he was free to leave Senes. It was something he had once longed for but now that it was possible, he found that he was apprehensive. He was comfortable here. Leaving would also mean completely giving up on the idea of seeing his father again. He knew it was foolish to hold on to childhood hopes of reuniting with him but it was a thought he just couldn't let go of. Besides, he would miss Joa and Malar.

If he ever wanted to see Joa again, it would have to be here, on Senes. The last time he had seen him had been just before the war had ended. Joa had come to visit him with promises that he'd soon have enough money to pay his release fee. Joa was good for his word and he anticipated it would only be a few more weeks. Losha would have been free by now were it not for the fact that three days after he visited Losha at the jail, he vaporized a man with his phaser. What had he been thinking, buying a phaser? That phaser had been the first weapon Losha had ever fired - he and Joa used to shoot garbage in the Maysal Artists Colony for fun. They'd called it "cleaning up." Losha was grateful, however, that his parents had instilled in him such a strong distaste for weapons that the idea of owning one himself frightened him.

When thoughts of Joa came to mind, he tried to not let them get past the emotional barrier he'd formed in recent years. He wasn't sure if it had formed as a result of the drugs, or if he had just become jaded, but he now found there was little that upset him. There was also little that made him happy. It was not that he was unhappy, or sad, he just felt nothing and for now, feeling nothing was preferable to feeling sad for Joa. There was nothing he could do about it anyway.

He had been reading an article about the ancient Earth philosopher Pythagoras but was having trouble focusing. Perhaps he could go to Earth when he got out of this place. He'd lived there for a few months when he was very young and remembered little but did remember he'd been happy there. There were other Vulcans there, Vulcans who believed, as his parents did, that true enlightenment could only be attained through confronting emotions. He wasn't sure he believed in attaining anything like enlightenment but perhaps he belonged more among those Vulcans than he did anywhere else. Perhaps his father was back there on Earth.

He had mixed feelings about seeing him again. Rationally, he knew that his father had had no way to get to Senes for the past eleven years. But a small part of his mind could not let go of the idea that if he had really cared, he would have found a way. The embargo had been lifted - would his father come to Senes? It had been a long time since been able to sense him. He'd had a telepathic sense of him for some time after he'd left Senes but it grew fainter as the years passed - he'd been unsure whether this was the result of time or distance. But then he'd lost nearly all his telepathic senses as a result of the sur. It didn't feel like his father was dead, but it was possible. He probably would never know.

He tried once again to focus on the article about Pythagoras. Like Surak, he was a man ahead of his time; he understood not only that the Earth was spherical more than a thousand years before it was widely accepted by most humans, but that peace could never be attained so long as humans consumed violence in the form of animal flesh and secretions. As long as Man continues to be the ruthless destroyer of lower living beings, he will never know health or peace. For as long as men massacre animals, they will kill each other. Indeed, he who sows the seed of murder and pain cannot reap joy and love, Pythagoras had said. Pythagoras had not been able to bring peace in his lifetime and neither had Surak, though Surak's teachings on Vulcan took hold much faster than Pythagoras' had on Earth.

And where did the Seenans fit in with this? With the advent of the replicator, they had longed since ceased to consume actual animal flesh or secretions yet they were still fighting wars. Perhaps because the replicators hadn't really transformed their beliefs, only their eating habits. They weren't much different compared to humans. Though there was now peace on the planet Earth itself, humans always managed to get themselves involved with wars elsewhere. His philosophical musings were interrupted when a guard entered the room.

"Losha, your release fee has been paid." He said it so matter-of-factly, Losha almost ignored it. "Did you hear me? Your release fee's been paid."

"Really?"

"Yes. Would you prefer to stay here?"

"No! Who paid it?" Had Malar finally changed her mind? She'd been adamant that she wouldn't. Maybe an acquaintance had decided to pay it and would ask to be reimbursed, more than the fee itself, of course. But sur users were notoriously paranoid and would not trust someone, even a friend, to pay them back. Who then?

"They don't tell me. You'll have to ask when you sign out."

Losha had no possessions in the jail aside from his padd so he said quick goodbyes to his roommates and hurried out to the processing office. Later, he'd think of other people he wished he'd said goodbye to before leaving, but at the time, curiosity got the best of him. At the processing desk, he was handed a padd to sign. His eyes immediately went to the top of the screen, which he was familiar with after three other releases. Release fee tendered by: Sybok. Relationship to inmate: father.