Orlyanal, Sea of Lataan, Senes, Stardate 2292.287

Losha was silent at Sarek's disclosure so he continued on. "I had Doctor Naik take a genetic sample from me and compare it to your records to be certain." He paused, taking in a slight breath. "If you have any questions of me, I will answer to the best of my ability."

Losha continued to stare at him, though Sarek realized he wasn't actually staring. When Sarek had first seen him without the bandages on his face the day he left Deep Space Four, his blind eyes had somewhat unsettled him. More than that, there had been an expression on Losha's face that had been oddly familiar. He had quickly dismissed it, but later realized its significance. It was the same expression he had often seen on the face of his oldest son. Amanda had always believed it was an expression Sybok shared with his father, though as he didn't spend any time studying his own expressions, he couldn't confirm this.

Aside from the texture of his hair and the shape of his eyes, Sarek had never seen much of himself in Sybok. Perhaps that's why he had never related to the boy. No, he thought, he hadn't related to him because he hadn't had the opportunity to know and raise him until he was nearly an adult. Sybok's mother had not wanted him involved in her or her son's life and at the time, he had believed respecting her wishes was the most logical course of action. When the difficulties with Sybok first began, it had taken Sarek some time to let go of the thought that had he been a part of his son's life from the beginning, Sybok would not have chosen the path he had. Though he knew that regret was illogical and there was no way he could have suspected how events would unfold by choosing not to contest T'Rea's wishes, he had still struggled with regret for some time after Sybok's departure from Vulcan.

In the following decades, he had eventually managed to suppress most of his thoughts and feelings concerning Sybok. He had no choice - the chances of him ever seeing his son again were infinitesimally small. Even if they had happened to meet by chance, there was nothing more to be said between the two of them. Sybok had lived with him less than two years and despite Sarek's efforts, he hadn't gotten to know his son in that time. Having had no experience with children prior to Sybok's arrival in his home at the age of seventeen, he hadn't initially realized that there was anything different about the boy. Sybok was polite, studious, and seemed happy in his new home, though his mind often seemed elsewhere. Sarek had assumed that he was having a great deal more difficulty adjusting to his mother's death and his abrupt change of environment than he let on, and did not want to cause him any discomfiture by broaching the subject. He thought that with time, their relationship would become more comfortable.

It had never come to pass and now he found himself in a similar situation, this time with his grandson. He did not wish to repeat his experiences with Sybok, but he had no choice. Losha had a right to know about his origins.

When Losha finally spoke, it came out as a nervous laugh.

"I don't really believe this." Sarek had been able to sense so many strong emotions from Losha back on Deep Space Four, yet now he felt very little. "You can't be making this up, right?"

"No."

"Yeah, that would be some crazy story to make up, wouldn't it? It seems so unbelievable."

"I was quite surprised myself." He had actually been quite shocked, but he'd overcome the feeling by moving forward with his plans to arrange surgery for Losha. Between that and the negotiations on the station, he'd had little time to be shocked.

"I guess I know my parents must have come from somewhere, that they must have had families, but for me it was like they didn't exist."

"Is there anything you wish to ask me?" Sarek still sensed very little from Losha and found this curious.

"I don't know. When I was a kid, I probably had all kinds of questions for you. I just haven't thought about it in a really long time."

"From the fact that you did not recognize my name when we first met, I assume that you were told nothing of your father's family?" Sarek hadn't imagined Sybok would have much to say to his own son about his father, but it had still seemed odd that Losha had not even known his name.

"No, I don't know anything about my mother's family either. I was curious when I was younger, I would ask them questions, but they never wanted to talk about it. That was like another life for them, a life they had moved on from. They didn't see any point in dwelling on it - it had no meaning to them. I didn't understand that at first. I wanted to know. But eventually I stopped asking and I realized that they were right, that it didn't matter. I wasn't going to meet these people anyway so why think about them?

"I know they had siblings - I pestered them until they told me that much. I used to want a brother or sister so I was always asking them about that. But they never told me their names or anything about them. And then after my mother died, my father told me that his mother had died when he was young too. But that's all I ever knew. I don't know her name and I didn't know yours."

"And do you wish to know more now?" Sarek hadn't considered that perhaps Losha would not have any questions for him. He could not fathom not knowing one's family and family history, and not knowing, not wanting to know. But Sybok did not think the way he did, the way Vulcans did, so perhaps it was not so surprising that his son would be no different.

"Well, yes. I mean, there's no point in thinking about questions that can't be answered, but if they can be…"

"Your grandmother's name was T'Rea. She died when your father was seventeen. I did not know your mother or her family. Her birth certificate listed her parents' names - Sekla and V'Las - but I did not research further details about the family. Your father had one sibling - my younger son is Spock."

"You said my mother was free to return to Vulcan when she wished. But not my father?"

Sarek gazed past Losha to the beach and sea beyond. Though he had prepared himself for this topic, it was the one he least wanted to discuss. With the news of Sybok's death five years earlier, uncomfortable emotions had resurfaced and he had been forced to deal with them for the second time. He had not anticipated that this old wound would be ripped open again. The tear had begun slowly, when he first saw Sybok's name on the jail release document. But nothing had been certain then, not until Dr. Naik had done a genetic comparison. Then, when she had confirmed Losha's identity, he felt the tear continue and had made every effort to push the feeling aside. Instead, he had prepared for Amanda's reaction; it was much easier to suppress his own emotions when he focused on comforting her. Now he would have to confront the subject head on and Losha's very existence meant he could not just bury it permanently, as he once believed he had.

"No. To encourage others to embrace emotion...One who has done so faces permanent exile. I trust you understand this. Should you choose to follow in your father's footsteps, you will face the same fate." Though Losha did not seem to have the same aspirations as his father, Sarek could not afford to make assumptions. When Sybok had first come to live with him, Sarek had not recognized any desire in him to behave as he later would. He did not know in what manner Sybok had raised him and he had to be prepared for the possibility that the young man was just as dangerous as his father.

"You don't have to worry about that. I'm not interested in talking to anyone on Vulcan about emotions or anything else. I promise to leave as soon as soon as the surgery's over." At that, Sarek turned his gaze back to Losha.

"You need not make me or anyone else any promises. Regardless of the fact that you were born elsewhere, Vulcan is your home and it is your right to return there. However, since you have not studied Vulcan logical disciplines, I would be remiss in my obligations to you if I did not inform you of the potential consequences of certain behaviors."

"I understand. But I don't think of Vulcan as my home so you don't have to worry about that. You should also know that I haven't spoken to my father in six years. I don't know where he is or what he's doing."

This Sarek had not been prepared for. How had he not known? Then he considered the fact that Dr. Dvir had identified telepathic damage. He gazed toward the beach again, considering the best way to deliver the news, recalling the surge of emotions he had perceived from Losha during their conversation on Deep Space Four. It was not an experience he wished to repeat, though it now seemed unavoidable.

"I regret that I must inform you that Sybok died five point three years ago. My son, Spock, informed me that he was killed by a malevolent alien entity."