Letter

First off, if you're reading this Johanna I'm upset but I can't say I'm surprised. This note isn't for you, like I said when I gave you this letter it was for Annie and should only reach her hands if… I'm dead.

Annie, if this note is in your hands right now then I'm sorry because it means I'm dead. I'm getting knots in my stomach just writing that, just thinking about leaving you before I was meant to. Although, you're probably crying tears that could fill a bucket (I hope you stop soon) I'm not sorry for leaving either. I am sorry that I will be leaving you all alone, but I'm not sorry for leaving; for trying to stop a tyrant taking control of our lives owning us like slaves. I know you well enough to know that you will understand this or at least in time. I'd rather you be mad at me than sad so you can hate me for leaving or wish you had never laid eyes on me. I'm also sorry for not being able to hear what you wanted to say to me when I came back. I know you said that you didn't want to tell me because you thought I wouldn't leave for the mission… so it must have been important. I'm assuming it was something good if you thought it would make me want to stay, either that or you were dying from a terrible illness ha ha. I'm just hoping whatever it is still brings you happiness even though I'm not there.

Even though I'm gone I know that the war has been won (I know I'm not usually optimistic, but I know this deep in my bones.) I know Katniss will follow through and take down Snow. What happens after, I have no idea, but I hope you're able to go back home, back to District 4. You always looked happiest on the beach with the sun shining down your hair. I always found you more beautiful when the sun was shining on you or when you had a smile on your face.

I didn't write this letter just to tell you I'm sorry for not being there when you need me most I wrote this letter to tell me how much I love you. They didn't really let us say much in our vows because it was scripted so I'll tell you now by the way our wedding was the best moment in my life.

Remember Annie, my love, don't be sad for too long. I was already living on borrowed time I should've died in my first arena, but somehow I made it out. As sappy as this is going to sound, I think I stayed alive just long enough to be with you. I was so lost before I met you (again sorry for making this letter such a downer) and I know our love story didn't start off so great (you calling me an ass, liar, manwhore, misogynistic , disgusting human being (this was one of my personal favorites looking back), and many others for almost a year and I'm still not upset with it. We were both idiots for not seeing what was right there. We acted like school children when the kid does something mean just to get the others attention. You truly did hate me for awhile, but I eventually won you over. You're probably thinking you won me over but that's besides the point. I think it was nice being your friend first, then lovers, then husband and wife (I'm sorry you'll be considered a widow, because I know it will make you feel older than twenty-two). Titles were never really a thing for us, but when you were called my wife I felt very proud and accomplished. I finally felt whole. I never thought I would marry you, I never thought it would be possible but it happened and it was wonderful, like I said best moment in my life.

You're the best girl I've ever had (not in a sexual way, but well…) you were always there for me. You actually listened to me when I spoke about anything, I was never ashamed to tell you anything… not about Snow or the clients because I knew you wouldn't judge me and I knew you would comfort me and understand. People would always think that you only needed me, but I needed you too. We were codependent of one another which some say is a bad thing, but I don't believe so. We needed each other and I couldn't survive without

Dammit now I'm crying just thinking about leaving you and how Mags won't be there, but you do have your family which I am grateful for so I'm going to end it on a positive note.

I have many regrets in my life suicide attempts, my family dying, the drug abuse, and lying to you about the rebellion. However the biggest regret is leaving you when you needed me, like I stated before I don't regret leaving to fight, I just regret that I can't be here for you. And who the hell knows maybe there is life after death. I was always a skeptic but I could be somewhere else -somewhere nice- right now. The only thing I can say about life after death is if it does exist that I will be sure to find you when it's your time. I'll always be able to find you Annie, nothing will be able to stop that because you're my soulmate. Sounds cheesy, but it's what I believe.

The love of my life, the only light in my darkness, my friend, my lover, my wife, my soulmate, my everything, my Annie. I'll always love you.

-Your husband, your lover, your friend, your light in the darkness, your soulmate, or just Finnick. This is goodbye, but since I'm your soulmate it means I will get to meet you and fall in love with you over and over again. Hopefully next time it won't take so long to figure it out and that next time I get to be with you until we are all wrinkly and ugly.

Remember Annie, please don't cry or be sad for the rest of your life. You can miss me, but just remember I always loved you and I'll still be with you, I'll always be in your heart.

Love, Finnick.

A/N: If you didn't get the thing Annie didn't tell him, it was that she was pregnant. I thought it was obvious but in case you didn't understand I thought I should mention it. Teared up quite a bit while writing this, but I always thought he would leave her a letter or something to make her feel better with the terrible news.