Orlyanal, Sea of Lataan, Senes, Stardate 2292.287

Losha wiped his tears away and turned back toward the sea. His father had tried to get to know him when he had finally returned to Senes, but he had pushed him away. He hadn't wanted him probing into the details of his life, and hadn't known how to deal with the emotional upheaval his presence caused. Eventually, he felt more at ease with his father, though it was not the relationship he had once hoped for. He had no desire to go through that experience again - of trying to understand a family member, trying to have a relationship that brought contentment, and failing. His father, who knew him better than he knew himself, could not understand him, so how could he even think that any kind of relationship was possible with a man who was not only a stranger, but a Vulcan?

He did not want to discuss his emotions with Malar, so he simply said, "There is a reason my parents left Vulcan."

"I know. You don't have to become one of them to get to know your grandfather."

"Let's not talk about this now." There were so many thoughts going through his mind and he had no adequate way of expressing them.

"Alright. Let's talk about our trip to Vulcan. I want Naalem to come and Sarek said it was ok."

"You're calling him Sarek now?" How had Malar managed to get so comfortable with him in such a short time?

"That's what he told me to call him."

"You shouldn't have asked him about Naalem. He's doing enough for me as it is. I'm sure he doesn't want a child tagging along. And I don't want him missing more school."

"Tagging along? Naalem can take care of himself. He was even taking care of you." Malar paused. "Ah, that's it," she said, understanding dawning. "I know it was awkward to have him taking care of you."

"You and I are alike, Malar. Can you imagine what it would be like for you to have to be dependent on someone else? I hate it. I hate it so much."

"I know." She paused again. "Do you think of me as independent?"

"Of course. You're probably the most independent person I know."

"Even though all the money I started out with came from other people, like Lesara?"

"But that doesn't have anything to do with it. You would have found a way on your own." It was true. Though he felt himself to be fairly independent, Malar had a much stronger resolve than he did.

"Yes, but I was helped by other people. If I hadn't let them help me, I wouldn't be where I am now. Do you think Lesara thought of me as charity?"

"No." Lesara had felt lucky to have Malar, as had most of her romantic partners.

"He gave me a lot of money. Because he wanted to. Most people want to share what they have with the people they care about. If I needed anything, you would help me. You wouldn't think less of me, would you?"

"No." He knew Malar was right, but he didn't see how he could ever feel comfortable with letting go of his independence. "You're right. Why are you always right?"

"Because I'm older than you." He heard the smile in her voice. She was, in fact, two years older. "I know it's different because Naalem has always been dependent on you. I'll be the one to help you, just as we planned. I just think it would be a good experience for him. He's always wanted to visit another planet. I feel like I should have brought him along with me on some of my trips. But you know me, I'm still pretty selfish. I didn't want him tagging along. But now he's old enough that I enjoy his company. Will you agree if I tell you his company will make me happy?"

"You're going to to do what you want anyway." He felt dried tears as he smiled.

"But he can still help you with certain things. Like dressing." There was laughter in her voice.

"I can dress myself. I just need you to pick out the clothes."

"Well, he can help you with...you know."

"I don't need much help with that either. If you want him to come, I don't want him to feel burdened by having to help me. I want him to be able experience new things."

"Agreed. But just think, Losha, it won't be for long. Soon you'll be able to see again."

"Ambassador Sarek's doctor said there is only an 87% chance of complete visual restoration." He had to be wary of getting his hopes up too high.

"And you told me she said there was a 98% chance of partial visual restoration."

"Yes." He didn't really know what "partial visual restoration" would mean so he hadn't considered it.

"I'm going to be optimistic." Malar had always been optimistic. He knew it was part of the reason she had achieved what she had. He admired her for it, because he struggled to be optimistic himself.

"Shall we go back to the house? We still have some time before dinner if you want to be alone."

"I don't need to be alone. And it would be rude to ignore...Sarek." Even as he said the name, he knew he would not be able to call him that to his face. The man was still a virtual stranger.

"Well, he's probably still in the guest room anyway. He said he has some things to do." Malar stood up, then helped him to his feet. They dusted the sand off themselves and she placed his hand on her shoulder.

"You know," she said as they began walking, "Naalem said he thought Sarek looked like you, or you looked like him. I thought he just meant it in a generic way, you know how they say that all Ursai look alike? You both have pointed ears, you look alike, right?" She laughed. "But I noticed it when he and I were waiting for you."

"Really? What does he look like?" He'd had a vague image of an older Vulcan man in his mind. It was strange how the mind created an image of a face he had never seen.

"Kind of like you. His hair is gray, but it looks like it used to be dark, so kind of like a darker, older, you. You look more like him than your father. You have a similar expression. I don't know. It's hard to explain. You'll be able to see for yourself soon."

Back at the house, Losha sat with Malar as she first contacted Naalem's school, then Naalem himself.

"We're going to Vulcan!" He gushed.

"Yes." Losha found more and more that he was at a loss for words. Maybe he did need time alone. It would have to wait though.

"Aren't you happy, Losha?" Naalem asked.

"Yes, I'm happy, Naalem." He forced a smile. He didn't feel happy, but Naalem wouldn't understand that. He would tell Naalem about his father's death, but he would do it in person, not over the comm. He didn't plan on telling him about his relationship to Ambassador Sarek. Perhaps the ambassador hadn't wanted him telling anyone. He hadn't said that, but he knew Vulcans preferred privacy. It was one thing that his father had found illogical and frustrating. Not telling Malar was out of the question though. He'd had to tell someone.

"I knew Ambassador Sarek would find a way to help you."

"How did you know that, Naalem?" Malar asked.

"His wife said he would. And Dr. Naik said she was going to help too. And I think Dr. Dvir wanted to help too. Even though Vulcans are serious, I think she cared."

"Well, we'll see you tomorrow, Naalem."