Laxus always remembered it as being one of her cutest moments.

He was eating a piece of leftover birthday cake while she stood in front of an ironing board she'd opened in the kitchen, sniffling while she ironed their beloved son's little khaki school pants. Her bottom lip puffed out a bit in a pout, because they were on the verge of one of parenting's biggest milestones.

This was the night before Yuri's first day of preschool.

Time seemed to have flown by in an instant.

In one memory, he asked her out on a date, and then they sat on the floor a few months later and talked about the future. She could remember him asking if she wanted to have babies with a weird excited sense of nervousness on his face. Then they were married and they got pregnant the first time they tried. It was such an exhilarating time for them, being newlyweds and expecting their first baby together.

"You've ironed those pants three times, Babe. Wrinkles pretty much top the list of things four-year-old boys don't give a shit about," he said with a little grin.

Lucy's gave him a sulking glower and picked up the iron. "You better stop teasing me or I'll iron you three times."

Laxus put his hand on the bottom of the iron. "Not really a problem for a dragon slayer."

"Depends on where I use it…" and then under her breath, "it'll look like a fried popsicle stick when I get through with you."

Laxus had been teasing her, but only because she was so cute. "Speaking of which, I want sex. It's been a lifetime. Actually, two if you want to get technical. Your doctor's excuse ended today."

"Subtle and charming. And so unexpected, after you've literally spent your entire day circling me like a shark."

"I am the opposite of a shark."

"Oh?"

He smirked. "A shark gets more active when he smells blood. I leave and jerk off."

Lucy rolled her eyes. "That may be the most romantic thing anyone has ever said to me. You should start your own line of greeting cards. And you don't leave when you self-serve. Half the time that stuff ends up somewhere on my body."

"It heightens the experience."

"It's a terrible thing to wake up to," she complained.

Her husband teased, "I just assume you get bored with a good morning kiss. Besides, it was just that one time that you were asleep, and it was your fault. I was close to the edge and you rolled over and moaned my name in your sleep. I apologized and you still punched me in the stomach."

"You're so gross. Ugh."

With a playful smirk, he said, "So what do you say? Gramps said he'd watch the babies tonight."

"Great. I can catch up on my sleep."

"You can catch up on your wifely duties and maybe I'll let you sleep after you finish."

The thing about Laxus was this:

He was amazing. As much as she wanted to be reluctant or sarcastic, she knew she was going to go along with him anyway because after six years of having sex with her, he knew how to make her orgasm so hard she'd be left shaking. And then he'd do it again. He was big, he was rough, and he liked to bite, but she couldn't resist him.

Lucy still couldn't say no to the feeling of those big callused hands on her, and honestly she hadn't ever really wanted to.

Her mind shifted back to reality. "Let me just double check Yuri's school supplies and make sure I have all the ingredients for his lu-"

Over the shoulder she went, and Lucy squealed, "Put me down you big ogre!"

"Woman, I'll never let you go. You're mines," he declared as he hauled her up the stairs.

XXX

Lucy woke up to get her son ready for his first day at school, and the first thing she did was groan because she was sore. She still wasn't sure if it was because her leg wasn't supposed to bend that way or because her husband weighed two hundred and twenty pounds and liked to be on top.

She was wearing nothing but a pair of black stilettos, and her red lip gloss was smeared all over Laxus as he lay there snoring. She looked down at a hickey on her belly, which was taking its time to 'normalize.' For the first six weeks, she had described her belly as 'a deflated beach ball laid across a stack of flat tires.'

It was kind of sweet how he'd kiss along her C-Section scar though...

Their comforter was on the floor, her panties had been thrown on the dresser, her matching black lace bra was ribbons on the floor, and he was smiling in his sleep.

She smirked. "You talk a big game, but you can't handle me, boy."

His snore stopped and the corner of his mouth turned up. "Does Pussycat want more milk?"

Lucy shrugged. "Tasted a little...sterile."

"I can go get it fixed and you'll be knocked up with a litter by Friday."

"That's okay. Sterile is tasty, now that I think of it. Pussycat needs a shower. So do you. Your grandfather is probably exhausted too."

The Dreyar twins?

They'd had their most peaceful evening ever.

Makarov had eagerly agreed to watch them overnight so the exhausted parents could sleep, but when he went to get a blanket from the hall closet, he heard rhythmic banging sounds, growling, and wild-sounding moans. He knew he'd been bamboozled, so he did what any reasonable babysitter would do:

He cast a hibernation spell on them and went to sleep, awakening him at his own discretion so they could suckle breast milk from bottles and be changed. Makarov suspected the parents weren't going to notice as they were busy.

Although Laxus probably knew such things were harmless (although he had no memories of hibernating as a baby), he suspected the mama bear would boil him alive if she ever found out.

By the time the parents emerged from the room at six in the morning, the babies had successfully emerged from their slumber and Mavis Dreyar, somewhere in her tiny mind, felt happy and well-rested, having not screamed half the night as was her custom. This would not stop future scream-a-thons, as those were her right as a newborn, but at least for this morning, she was happy.

Laxus came through first, kissing the babies. "Looks like you three had a peaceful night."

"Piece of cake. Experience, you know."

Anna was a snuggler, and she prepared as much contact as possible. She was oddly almost polite in her ways. When she yelled, it usually wasn't loud or shrill or anxious. Anna loved Daddy snuggles more than anything.

Mavis was a grabber, and her little hands always clenched whatever was available. She had a slightly gravelly dragon shriek that put even Yuri's to shame. She also ate quite a lot, but hadn't really grown very much since she was born.

When Laxus put Anna down, he picked up the tiny, ill-tempered baby of the family, and she growled. "Good morning, my little hellbeast."

Makarov said, "Her mother will punch you in the skull if she hears you call her that."

"Her mother will kick your ass so hard your tailbone comes out of your left nostril if she finds out you've been putting her babies to sleep with magic," he answered.

Both men, among the most powerful wizards in the entire world, realized that nothing was more terrifying than Lucy as a pissed off mother. When it came to her babies, she was a force to be reckoned with that neither Laxus nor Makarov would dare to cross.

Makarov asked, "How come she isn't growing? She eats like a horse."

Laxus said, "The doctor said she's perfectly healthy and that she might have inherited short stature from a relative. I've been trying to think if there's anyone who is absurdly short in our family, but I think of anyone important."

"Very funny."

"Anyway, it's fine, right? I don't think the world could handle a full-sized Mavis Dreyar."

Makarov wasn't sure when Laxus was a teenager if he'd ever really be able to love a woman properly because of how he was raised, but as fate would have it, he was surrounded by girls. He adored them, both wife and daughters, and spoiled them all. The old man was sure as soon as the twins learned how to ask, they'd be just as spoiled as their older sister.

The door to the nursery opened, and a wide-eyed four-year-old came in. "It's time for school?"

Laxus looked up at the clock. "It's six in the morning, son. And you're wearing pajamas."

"Can we fight?"

"After school. I can't get you sweaty and dirty before school."

The boy's father really had no idea what kind of person Yuri was going to grow up to be. He was a perfectly nice and good-natured little boy, but since the first time they sparred, the first thing he wanted to do every morning was roll out of bed and start a fight. Some mornings, he didn't necessarily wait for his father to wake up, and Laxus had to kindly teach him it's not polite to wake someone up by punching them in the thigh and shouting 'good morning!'

(Especially when that someone had baby twins and hadn't really slept much to start with.)

Yuri reached through the bars of the crib for Anna's hand, smiling a bit when she squeezed his finger. "Layla's not ready to get out of bed. And she doesn't want to fight either."

Laxus sighed and his grandfather chuckled at this comment, knowing that when his groggy morning-hating sister finally did get out of bed, she would probably still be pissed. Then again, what woman ever liked to be roughly awoken by a boy who wants to wrestle?

Lucy probably, Makarov noted in amusement.

Laxus carried Mavis downstairs and they found Lucy making a big breakfast.

Yuri sat at the table in his pajamas drinking chocolate milk while she rambled on about subjects that were important to her as a mother of a school-age boy: the benefits of eating a proper breakfast, doing homework in a timely manner, socializing with others, dealing with bullies, communicating with teachers, remembering to keep shoes tied, not scratching his private parts in front of others, not telling anyone his father electrocuted him when he misbehaved, not fighting, not being scared of girls, etc.,

Unfortunately, this all came out together in one long, rambling lecture that the boy disregarded in its entirety because he didn't understand and it wasn't properly articulated for intellectual digestion by a four-year-old boy.

Halfway through breakfast, Layla made her way down and climbed silently onto the chair with her booster seat, blonde hair matted and fluffed on one side of her head, eyes puffy, eyes slightly crusted with a positively despondent expression on her face.

Lucy wiped her eyes and face. "Layla, you're coming up on three. You've been waking up for almost a thousand days, so I feel like you should be able to get out of bed without acting like it's a traumatic experience."

"I'm tired," she whined.

"How come you don't go back to sleep?" Yuri asked.

"I don't wanna!"

After food, kids were dressed, teeth and hair brushed, and prepared for the day.

Lucy helped her son put on his neat-pressed school uniform: khaki pants, a white shirt, and a blue sweater vest that matched his eyes. They'd enrolled him in a private school after a number of long discussions about education. She knew Laxus was a little dubious about this, but he couldn't deny that having a good education had helped Lucy accomplish so much.

Education was a big issue for her, not just for their kids, but for the guild too. Wizards were pretty much notorious for quitting school to do magic work, but this led to dismal literacy levels and adults who could do amazing things with magic but couldn't do basic math to pay bills or manage their money. They were reviewing possibly using their windfall Lucy helped the guild get to build a dorm for the younger wizards where they could live for free as long as they went to school.

There had been occasional late-night talk about making a special school, but at present, that was just something husband and wife discussed at 4 am while trying to feed two infants, one of which would only breastfeed on one side, for whatever reason.

Once Yuri was dressed, Lucy packed his lunch in his little red backpack, which was full of school supplies.

Layla was playing magic in the living room with Makarov, who successfully distracted her while her brother prepared to leave. Yuri and Layla had always been together, so it was generally assumed that Lucy wasn't the only blonde that might be pining over Yuri's absence.

Laxus and Lucy stepped out with him, and Lucy said, "Your backpack is heavy. You want Mama to carry it?"

"I'm really strong, Mama," he said.

Lucy knew he was right. The little dragon could do incredible things when he wanted to, like scoot furniture around and climb and run.

Yuri walked between his parents, holding each of their hands. "When will it be over?"

"At three in the afternoon. That's after lunch. You'll learn, play outside, do crafts, eat, take a nap, and probably learn more. Then we'll come get you and we'll go home," Lucy said.

When they got to the steps of the school, Yuri felt sudden anxiety when he noticed that other kids were crying hysterically and clinging to equally weepy mothers. He looked up at his parents; Dad seemed calm, Mama seemed a bit teary.

Lucy smiled at her son. "It's okay. You're going to have a good day today."

They walked him to his classroom and checked him in, gave him hugs and best wishes, and watched him go sit in a circle with the other kids, which he was absurdly larger than. His class was half boys and girls, and he picked a safe girl-free spot to sit as he nervously looked from one stranger to another.

After they left and were walking back toward home, Laxus heard his wife sniffle and held her hand. "He'll be fine."

"He's going to be gone all day, Laxus. With strangers."

"I'm not the one that signed him up for the whole-day program. There is a half-day program, right?"

"Oh hush. I'm sorry I want our son to have a whole education, and not just half of one."

Her husband rolled his eyes. "Half an education would give him twice as much as most wizards. That's a thirty percent benefit or something."

"...and that's why education is really important."

They stopped at a diner to have breakfast, as they'd fed everyone except themselves thus far, and they trusted Makarov and Chelia could handle the little ones for another hour. Within their own relationship, they were still basking in the glow of the prior evening and were in the mood to be a bit sweet on each other, although Lucy suspected her husband would ruin it eventually.

Laxus peered at her over his menu. "I'm going to hand the S-Class trials to Gildarts next summer."

"Why?"

"Because I'm going to put your name on the list. You're qualified. Even if you're not going on jobs, you're still a powerful wizard."

For a minute, she felt a little blank, because when the guild transition took place, catching up on everything and babies suddenly became the big things going on. She'd been studying magic in her free time and up until the end of her pregnancy, training with some of the younger wizards.

Lucy felt confident she could pass the trial, she just hadn't expected it. "A-Are you sure?"

"Gramps wanted you to take it when Natsu and Gray made S-Class, but you were nine months pregnant with Yuri. And then the next year, you were pregnant with Layla. Then we didn't have exams, then...pregnant again," he said.

It was an irksome though, but Lucy loved her family and she was glad they'd had all their kids and were done with that part of their marriage.

His wife smiled a bit. "I really wanted that, you know."

"You deserve it. And since I'm snipped, you better not be pregnant come June or the S-Class exams are going to be the least of your worries," he teased.

She answered, "Layla thinks I should have some multicultural babies."

"That's terrible."

"She says someday she wants to have a lot of babies that look different."

"That's even worse."

The blonde grinned at him. "You're such a cute Daddy."

"You too, overprotective, clingy Mama, about to sob like a baby because her little boy went to school."

Lucy kicked him under the table. "Why do I love you?"

"Because females are highly irrational. Layla doesn't have a thread of logic anywhere in her being. I think every woman, from birth, is just a little bit crazy," he said.

"Brave words for a man who lives in a house full of women."

The waiter came and they ordered, and once he was gone, Laxus rested his head on his hand. "Sugar and spice and everything nice, right? Our family seems a little extra spicy. But here's a theory: in the womb, Anna got all the sugar, and Mavis got all the spice."

They had a nice breakfast together and parted ways at an intersection where he headed to the guild and she went home to work on her proposals for the guild and look after their daughters.

Except, she was so excited she didn't really want to do her 'homework.'

If only there was someone she could practice with so she could help her body get into testing shape by the next summer...

It wasn't like one of the greatest wizards in the whole world had retired and lived in their house or anything.

Layla, who was grieving the absence of her brother, sat quietly with her doll and watched her mother and great grandfather spar in the yard. She'd seen her brother and father do this before, but it was different seeing how strong Mama actually was. She saw her grandfather's light magic, and it stirred her own magic within her, like a thunderstorm riled up her older brother.

She saw a glimpse of something so amazing to her she could just watch.

"Go Mama!" she cheered even though her great grandfather looked quite a bit stronger. "Get him!"

Makarov was a little offended that she was so enthusiastic about her mother defeating him as Layla was the favorite even if he'd never admit it. But what little girl didn't look up to their mother?

At the guild, Laxus was approving job requests in Mirajane's absence, as demon babies evidently caused horrific nausea. He'd stamped two more newcomers that morning, both of them just kids, and looked around to note that a huge percentage of the guild's members were just kids, so it was almost appropriate the guild more or less had a mommy and a daddy in recent days.

Lucy suggested dividing the jobs and the wizards into three categories: J-Class for the junior wizards, A-Class for grown folks, and S-Class for the elite as always. Most of the guild's jobs were quick and simple and it made sense to reserve the easiest jobs for the least skilled wizards. It was annoying, for instance, for Nab to do tasks a twelve-year-old could do while the twelve-year-old in turn tried to take harder jobs to pay pay bills and eat.

He was reviewing the jobs when he felt a tug on his pants and looked down to find Iggy Dragneel.

"Good morning, Master."

"Good morning."

"Where's Layla?"

"I don't answer to you. You're two."

He was disappointed with this, but asked, "She's my friend. Can we play?"

Laxus bent down and asked, "You want to go to my house and play with my kid?"

"Pretty please?"

In an alternate universe where Yuri and Layla were not opposite gender, Iggy would have been his favorite non-Dreyar baby. It was actually hard even for him not to laugh at him, because his personality was 98% sweet and meek and 2% utter chaos. He was extremely polite, but at the same time, enjoyed finding trouble to get into.

Sam Redfox had taken a little too much after his father, and often responded to questions with 'Tch!' He acted like he was very tough and very grownup most of the time, but was actually a pretty big crybaby. He crossed his arms a lot, and rolled his eyes, and generally just acted like Gajeel. Levy could see no wrong in him, so he was a bit of a bully, especially toward Iggy.

Laxus felt like they were going to have an encounter someday and fight it out as little boys often did. His money was on the little fireball. Somewhere in that little creature was his father's temper.

In this universe, he was a boy asking for his daughter's attention, however politely.

"No."

Iggy's features fell in disappointment. "Okay," he sadly said.

The boy seemed distraught as he went back to playing by himself, ignoring Sam Redfox as if he didn't exist. And he watched it play out: Lisanna saw her son was upset and went to talk to him, and he told her the source of his sadness, and she looked up at Laxus with an expression that said, 'why don't you crawl in a hole and die, you big jerk?'

She came toward him, and he cringed.

"Well?" she asked.

"Well...what?"

Lisanna stepped on his foot and leaned forward. "What is your problem?"

Laxus leaned back. "Your son is lonely. Do what we do. Have more kids."

"You're an idiot, Master. I'm taking the rest of the afternoon off. I have an old friend to catch up with. She recently had twins."

This was what could be called winning the battle but losing the war because while Laxus was able to deny the little boy, he ended up having to work harder because Lisanna left and took her son to his house. In other words, not only did Iggy get his play date, but Laxus had to do more work because of it.

He found himself busy until it was time to go pick up his son for school, and when he walked up the steps to the school and then to his son's classroom, he found his son absolutely surrounded by little girls. He looked a little nervous, but not terrified.

The teacher was over the moon for Yuri.

"Your son is such a good little boy. He told one of the other boys not to be mean to the girls, and he helped clean up, and he's such a good listener. He's so helpful and smart and a perfect little gentleman. You must be so proud of him!"

This was not surprising to Laxus, as every old woman ever seemed to absolutely adore Yuri.

Yuri jumped up from the floor holding his macaroni art. "Daddy!"

He leapt, and Laxus caught him and held him at his side. "You had a good day?"

The teacher handed him the boy's backpack, and Yuri nodded. "I had lots of fun."

"Looks like you made friends."

"Yeah!"

On the way home, Laxus carried his son, who told him all about everything that happened during the day. It sounded like he'd had a number of misadventures involving girls but figured out eventually that 'a girl' was actually a series of references to events involving one single girl named Lilia to whom Yuri had taken a liking to for unknown reasons.

"...and then I tasted a girl's hair, and she got mad. She pushed me and called me a 'stupid boy.'"

Laxus put his son down on the sidewalk, knelt, and asked, "Did you just say you tasted a girl's hair?"

"It smelled like strawberries. She was mad, Daddy!"

To males as a whole, the line between attraction to food and females was a little overlapped. In dragons, both senses were sharper, so somehow along the way, wires crossed in Yuri's little mind caused him to acknowledge that because a girl was pretty and she smelled good, he should taste her.

"Little dragon, you have to realize you're not like the other kids. Sniffing and tasting is really, really unacceptable and creepy behavior."

"Oh, that's why she was mad," he said, disappointed, "can she still be my friend?"

Laxus shrugged. "Probably if you apologize and don't act like a weirdo. Was she cute?"

"Her hair was soft."

"Don't sniff, taste, or feel. Geeze. What color was it?"

"That's not funny," his colorblind son replied.

"Right, sorry. I forgot."

Dragon males had boundary issues as a whole when it came to females without any exceptions. So Yuri finally encountered a girl he thought was at least a little cute and spent his entire day annoying her to death doing things that would bother any right-minded four-year-old girl.

He was certain there was 'a girl' who was telling her parents about some terrible little disgusting boy who irritated her all day while they tried to explain that little boys just didn't know how to act.

Laxus also learned his son didn't get along particularly well with one of the boys in his class who had been the de facto 'boss' of the neighborhood social order of preschoolers. Yuri had alpha male behaviors ingrained in him so this led to assorted problems as hell would freeze over before his son took orders from another little boy. Yuri was a nice boy, but he had a certain way about him.

When they got home, Yuri presented his art to his mother, and while she fed him a snack, Yuri told her all about his day, but completely omitted any reference to 'a girl' as he spoke with Lucy and Lisanna. This was absolutely fascinating to his father.

Layla, having seen Lucy and Makarov brawling most of the day, had in turn completely manhandled Iggy Dragneel throughout the afternoon. When Laxus found them in the playroom, Layla had her elbow in Iggy's stomach.

"...girls can beat up boys too…" she said.

Iggy was seven months younger than her, but as a dragon, was a bit bigger. He didn't fight her, but seemed confused and bewildered. "Please stop."

Laxus shook his head. "You asked for it, Iggy."

He didn't know what had gotten into his daughter, but kids were kids. It Layla wanted to rough up little boys, he wouldn't have to do it for her.

Makarov came limping through, holding his stomach.

"What happened to you?"

The old man said, "Your wife dug her elbow into my liver."

The father was now amused by this situation, where his wife bruised his grandfather, his daughter saw, and turned and decided it would be fun to hurt little boys.

Maybe he'd won the war after all, he decided.

Please Review!

Special thanks to Megumiyoung, thealicehuntt, swallowmysoul, thunderbabyfan, adabs18, satisfied reader, kurahieiritr JIO, 17, w1n6s-0f-f1r3, katieboom, newhee89, katiekat2001, savygirl515, xxShyxx, Thornado, lunastarlady, and lovelylovelylove for reviewing!

AN: But FF, why are you only updating this story and not the other one?! Well kids, I'm having a crappy holiday season and this story makes me feel all happy and yay.