Deep Space Four, Stardate 2292.251
"You're sure?" Amanda asked, rising from the chair.
"Yes. I had Dr. Naik compare our genetic profiles."
Amanda nodded. "Well, this certainly is unexpected news."
"Yes." Sarek didn't know what else to say. He had had no time to think the matter over.
"You know, Sarek, when I saw him that night in the observation area, when he smiled, I immediately thought of…" she paused before before continuing, "of Sybok. It was the same smile. And the look in his eyes...they reminded me of you. I felt for a moment that I was looking at a younger version of you. Different hair color, of course, and the eyes seemed grayish, not exactly like you, but still like you…" She drifted off.
"You did not mention this."
"Of course not. I wouldn't have brought up...that subject. It was just a feeling I had, and I knew you would think it was silly, illogical."
"Human intuition can be rooted in subconscious knowledge. Your intuition has proved right on a few occasions, as it apparently has now."
"It was just a feeling. I didn't even consider the idea that he was...that there was any possibility…"
"No, I don't suppose you would have." He took a deep breath.
"He didn't say anything. Do you think he knows who you are?" Amanda's face had born an expression of shock since their conversation had begun, but now it changed to an one of puzzlement.
"I don't believe so. I sensed a great deal of emotion from him, but when I first met him, I didn't feel any sense of recognition from him."
"So what are you going to do? Tell him?"
"Certainly." Under most circumstances, it was logical to tell the truth once it was uncovered. Certainly there were times when revealing the truth would have negative or even disastrous consequences - his years in diplomacy had taught him that - but there was no logic in hiding the truth in this situation. Kaiidith. What is, is.
"So this has been in the files all along? I mean, the Immigration Service knows that he's...knows who he is and they still rejected his application?"
"If they were aware of his connection to me, they would have contacted me. As you recall, I had to request additional information to learn the reason his application was rejected."
Federation databases indicated that Sarek had one child, Spock. Certain Vulcan records would contain information about those exiled from the planet, and it was likely the Immigration Service's computer system compared the names of those applying to visit Vulcan against a list of exiles and criminals, but the jail release record was the first mention of Sybok Sarek had seen in the files. It was likely that the Immigration Service's search program had only indicated that Losha's name and birthdate did not correspond to those of a known criminal or exile. There would be no reason for an immigration officer to dig further into someone's background under normal circumstances. Being related to a criminal or exile was not a crime. Sarek was curious, however, what other information the Immigration Service had uncovered.
"If you tell them, I don't suppose it will make any difference?" He knew Amanda didn't believe it would, but had to ask anyway. It was human nature.
"No. It doesn't change anything. I will have to continue to pursue the possibility of surgery elsewhere."
"I know you're doing everything you can." Amanda reached a hand out and laid it on top his. "Sarek, who is his mother?"
"I don't know. I haven't looked through the entire file yet."
"What else is in that file?" He was curious too. He hadn't even had time to consider who Losha's mother could be. Sybok had gone into exile alone. He knew others had been exiled both before and after, but who they were and how many there were, he did not know. Amanda's hand remained over his. Though their fingers were not touching, he sensed her concern for him. She knew this was a difficult subject. He withdrew his hand from under hers and sat down at the desk.
"I will see if there is any other pertinent information." Sarek scrolled through an arrest record, three other jail release and arrest records, and school records. Finally he came to a death certificate Losha, or rather Velekh, had signed on Stardate 2270.138, identifying the deceased as his mother, T'Amar.
"T'Amar." Amanda sighed. "Sybok had a friend named T'Amar. I bet it's her."
"He never mentioned a T'Amar to me." In fact, Sybok had never mentioned the names of any friends.
"Yes, there was a T'Amar, and N'Evran, and Selon. They were classmates of his. His friends."
"He never spoke to me of them." Sarek sighed. "Of any of them." He could feel the regret concerning his behavior toward his eldest son begin to well up. If only he had made more of an effort to know the boy, if only he had asked more questions. But Sybok had seemed well-adjusted at first. Perhaps that should have been an indication that something was wrong. He had lost his mother and then had had to leave the only home he had ever known to live with a father who was a stranger to him. He had seemed to be handling things remarkably well, and Sarek had been so impressed with his emotional control that he hadn't questioned it.
The boy, as Sarek would always think of him, had opened up to Amanda, but not to him. What could he have done differently? Despite his best efforts, Sarek had been unable to stop asking himself that question for some time after Sybok had been forced to leave Vulcan. The question came up again when Spock informed him of Sybok's death. He did not want to repeat that experience again. With a great effort, his pushed the thought aside for the moment, knowing that it would likely come back again soon.
He continued to scroll through files and records until he came to a birth certificate from Regulus V, confirming Velekh's parents' names as Sybok and T'Amar. But no patronymics were indicated, so who exactly T'Amar was, he did not know for certain. If she had been Sybok's classmate, when had she been exiled? If it had been around the same time as Sybok, wouldn't he have known? Of course her family would have wanted the details kept private, as he had. But surely if his son had been responsible for influencing someone else, he would have been informed?
"Do you know anything more about this classmate, T'Amar?" What did Amanda know that he didn't?
"They were all in the same philosophy class. I never met T'Amar or Selon, I only remember their names. He didn't tell me much more other than that they were his friends. He was happy to have made friends in his new school, and I was happy for him. I did meet N'Evran a couple of times, though neither he nor Sybok ever implied that there was any kind of relationship between Sybok and T'Amar. But maybe that came later."
"You met one of his friends twice?" Sarek had neither known the names of nor met any of Sybok's friends in the two years he had lived with them.
"Yes, N'Evran came to our house once. I told you that when you came home from work. He came home from school with Sybok one day. I made them tea and they talked for a while and then he went home." Sarek had a vague recollection of Amanda mentioning that Sybok had brought a friend home from school, but only once.
"What did they discuss?" It came out somewhat angry, and he knew it, but he was unable to suppress his anger. Had Amanda known that Sybok had planned to discuss his beliefs about emotion with others and said nothing?
"I wasn't eavesdropping, Sarek. They were talking about their class, as far as I remember. It was a long time ago."
"You said you met him twice." He wasn't sure why he was so interested in this friend his son had had over fifty years ago.
"Yes," Amanda sighed. "I saw him in the city once after...after Sybok left. He told me not to worry about him, that he knew that he was happy now."
"You never mentioned that."
"How could I, Sarek? You didn't want me even mentioning his name." She was right, and he knew he was wrong to take his anger out on her.
"Forgive me, Amanda." He stared at the screen, but no longer saw what was on it. The letters were out of focus.
He felt Amanda's hands on his shoulders. "There's nothing to forgive." She squeezed his shoulders gently. "I'll go for a walk so you have time to meditate." She knew his emotional state was precarious and though he knew she would never think less of him for it, he was still ashamed.
"I'll be in the bedroom. You can remain here." He stood up and turned to her. She smiled, but there was sadness in her eyes.
"No, I'll go take a walk to the observation area. I'll be back later." She held out her fingers to him. He returned the gesture and immediately felt an outpouring of love and care from her. He felt the urge to pull her into his arms, but resisted.