Just Breathe
Finnick POV
I look around the room at Haymitch's meetup place to discuss one last detail before we go into the arena. He should've brought this up sooner not the night before the arena. I'm curious if this is about Katniss. He pretty much stated last time we talked that she didn't want any allies besides Peeta.
Haymitch didn't want us to meet up on the floor in 12 in case Katniss or Peeta saw us talking. None of the victors can leave the training center so he decided they should meet in the sponsor room.
Only mentors are allowed in the sponsor room on the night before the Hunger Games. If we all came in at the same time it would seem suspicious.
"Haymitch." I say and sit in the booth next to him.
"Kiddo." Haymitch says. He's called me that since I won and it annoyed me then and annoys me even more now.
A clank hits the table and see a shiny golden object land on the table. I pick up it up, it is a gaudy golden bracelet. It looks like there are flames on the edges.
"What the hell is this?" I ask Haymitch.
"Is it too much for you." Haymitch says with a smirk.
I roll my eyes.
"That crazy escort of 12 picked it out to show that me, Katniss, and Peeta are all team." Haymitch says.
"You all got bracelets?" I ask surprised.
"No it has to do with gold. The escort has ugly golden hair. Katniss has that damn pin. Peeta asked Effie to get something handmade." Haymitch smiles and shakes his head. "Can you imagine." Haymitch says.
"I'm surprised you carry yours around." I tell him.
Haymitch isn't the type of guy for showing team unity. He also wouldn't wear something that gaudy no matter how much he had to drink.
"Oh I don't." Hey says and takes a long sip from his drink.
"I thought you were off the drink." I say to him.
"Well the others aren't around." Haymitch says and downs the rest of his glass.
"So why did you want to show me this terrible bracelet?" I ask him and put it back on the table.
"Oh right that's your token." Haymitch says.
"What?" I say confused.
"That's your token." Haymitch repeats annoyed.
"I already have a token." I tell him. Annie gave me back a locket I gave to her. The locket was my Mother's. Annie said I could give it back to her when I came back home.
"Well this it now." Haymitch says.
"But Annie-"
Haymitch cuts me off. He gets annoyed dealing with others people's personal lives and mine is too over dramatic as he puts it.
"Forget about Annie she's not the main goal anymore." Haymitch says.
"For the time being, but once it's done she will be. I'll have many questions to answer." I say.
Annie isn't stupid she's knows I've been lying to her about something for awhile. Well, I wouldn't call it lying.I'd call it withholding information, but she sees it all the same.
Haymitch rolls his eyes.
"Don't worry about her Plutarch is looking out for her like you requested, but you do realize she isn't the most important person to him."
"Well, she is to me and even if he isn't watching her... lying about it makes me feel better." I say.
"He is checking on her I've seen it personally." Haymitch says.
"Good."
I look at the ugly bracelet again.
"I can't leave her token in the Capitol." I tell him.
"Just give me whatever she gave to you. I'll hold onto it." He says impatiently.
I look at it him up and down. It's not like I have anyone else and I'm not leaving it in the Capitol. I have no intentions to come back.
I take the locket out of my pocket and hand it to him.
"A little girly." Haymitch says and points to the flower on the outside.
It's an oval shaped golden locket with a flower engraved on the front.
"Stop playing with it." I tell him as he spins it around his fingers. I'm afraid he'll tangle the chain.
He stops and sighs.
"So why did she give you this girly thing?" Haymitch says.
"So I could give it back to her after." I tell him.
Haymitch looks at it more closely.
"Don't pawn it for boozes." I tell him.
"I wouldn't get much anyway, it's not from the Capitol."
"I'm surprised you noticed." Finnick says.
"The crest isn't there." He says like I'm an idiot.
"Whatever." I say.
"You're welcome." He says annoyed. "You should get some rest, you'll need it for tomorrow. Just remember everything we discussed before." Haymitch says carefully.
He can't go over all the details again, but I understand how they will be sending messages with the bread.
I take the ugly bracelet and stand up.
I walk to the elevator but when I turn around I see him playing with the necklace again.
"Don't you dare lose that Haymitch." I say.
He snorts.
"I won't, now stop worrying about this necklace. Just worry about how you'll get Katniss not to kill you." Haymitch says as the elevator door closes.
I pull the rope and the knot I've been working on for hours comes undone. All it took was a simple pull. I've made tons of complex knots while I've been here in District 13. Some are the fancy kind they teach back home during sailing class. Some are from the training center. Others are just jumbled messes. It's those ones that I think reflect my mind.
Everything is just a jumbled mess. I only have one clear train of thought and that is Annie. Even though I don't like where those thoughts go. What are they doing to her? Does she think I abandoned her? Is she angry I lied to her? Is she being tortured?
I jump when I hear the door to my hospital room open.
I expect a nurse so when I see the person I am stunned.
It's Haymitch. I haven't seen him since the hovercraft ride. I heard rumors that he was taken somewhere to be dried out because they don't have alcohol in District 13. I also heard that he keeps having angry outbursts. He did before but everyone expected it. However, I'm sure they weren't as tame when he was on the drink.
His appearance is a little frightening he looks a sickly yellow color and his skin is sagging off his bones. He looks older. I didn't realize how much the drink effected his image.
I'm waiting for him to speak so when he doesn't I go first.
"You know they're looking for you." I say. I'm wondering if he ran off. I tired that, but they always find you, then drug you and bring you back.
I'm surprised he risked coming down here because there are many hospital staff members that could easily knock him out with drugs. They could keep him that way until the right people come to drag him away so he can get dried out.
"I know." He says and sits down on the hospital bed next to me. "Which is why I won't be staying long." He says and rummages around in his pocket. He pulls out a couple of tissues and then the shiny golden locket I gave him in the Capitol the night before the arena. It seems like that was a lifetime ago.
I snatch it from his hands quicker than I meant to. This is the only thing besides my thoughts that reminds me of Annie. That reminds me of home.
"Thought you might want this back before they accuse me of stealing it from someone." Haymitch says and smiles.
"You really kept it." I say.
"Please you made it clear that you would hurt me if I didn't keep it safe." Haymitch says.
He eyes me carefully.
"What?" I say slightly annoyed.
"We're not having any more suicidal thoughts are we." Haymitch says.
"No." I say rougher than I meant.
"Good, because if you're not around he'll kill her." He says.
"You already told me this." Finnick says and sniffles.
"Hold the tears in until I leave. I wanted to tell you something rather than just give you the necklace." He says.
"What?" I ask.
"Don't let Katniss know." He says.
"Know what?" I ask. I'm surprised he's even saying her name.
Before Katniss was knocked out by some drugs on the hovercraft they were yelling terrible things at each other. His face had blood running down it from the cuts Katniss made with her nails. The marks are still on his face.
"Why Snow is really keeping Peeta." Haymitch says.
His tone holds sadness and something else. It isn't pity. It's worry.
"Haymitch come on she's thick but not that thick. She's gotta know Snow's holding Peeta for her. Holding him so she knows wherever she is or whatever she's doing it will come back to Peeta somehow, someway." I say angrily.
I think about Annie and sniffle again. I know he won't hurt her. I don't know what he would even to do Peeta. He didn't know anything, but he isn't Annie and Katniss is more important at the moment. Hurting her will affect everything, everyone.
"Like I said hold the tears in until I leave. I don't need to see you crying about Annie." Haymitch says harshly.
Haymitch sighs when he realizes he was too harsh.
"You did everything right by her and she's strong enough to survive this." Haymitch says in a kinder tone.
I can tell he is still annoyed, but he is telling the truth.
"Anyway back to Katniss." Haymitch says.
"Like I said she isn't that stupid Haymitch. She's gotta know-"
"She's not that smart and isn't as familiar with how Snow's mind works."
"It isn't that hard to figure out. Besides, she heard me on the hovercraft saying I wish they were all dead." I say.
"Yes your dramatic confession might have peaked some interest but if you recall she was angry at you."
I sigh.
"She's more concerned about Peeta. She probably is thinking the same things you are. That we just abandoned him in there and left him to die or worse. She won't give up on her goal either." Haymitch says.
I can tell he is annoyed but he sounds sad as well. He's worried about Peeta too.
"Her goal to be the mockingjay?" I ask.
Haymitch scoffs.
"She isn't there yet and the longer she resists the sooner this rebellion will go down." Haymitch says.
"Then what is her one goal?" I ask.
"Her one goal is always the same, keep Peeta alive. If she was smart enough she could use that as a bargaining chip."
"Save Peeta and I'll do whatever you want." I say.
Haymitch nods.
"Is that why you don't want me to tell her. When she finally does accept the role you're afraid she will stop because she knows helping us means hurting Peeta?" I ask.
He nods.
"You care about Peeta too." I say to him.
"Yes but I also know that Snow is keeping him as a ploy." Haymitch says and starts to head for the door.
"You think he'll torture him." I say as Haymitch is about to leave the room. "I mean he's innocent, but with you busting out Katniss… it seems suspicious."
"Snow won't just lock him up in a room. I'm sure he has a plan for Peeta specifically. Peeta's a charming boy who is good with words. He can sway people easily." Haymitch says and looks at me carefully. "I'm sure he just locked Annie up and threw away the key. He knows you're too careful to give out information and even if you did he wouldn't trust anything she said. " Haymitch says.
Haymitch sighs when he can tell I'm not convinced.
"He'll only hurt Annie when he's truly desperate, but he won't kill her." Haymitch says.
"How can you be so sure." I say. It sounds like a whimper.
"Because the only reason Snow would kill Annie would be if she was right in front of you. He'd want to see your face as she dies." Haymitch says.
Oh course he would. Snow wants to see the last thing I truly care about being taken away from me.
I hear footsteps outside the hall.
"Don't worry so much Finnick. We can't do anything for them right now. When the time comes then you can worry all you want." Haymitch says and leaves the room.
I open up the locket. I told Annie to put something inside it that made her feel safe, but she never showed me what she put inside here.
I open it and a piece of paper falls out. It only takes me a second to recognize that this is my handwriting. The piece has been torn from something.
Just close your eyes and breathe.
Love, Finnick.
I gave her this note to her awhile ago. I left a note for her before I went to the Capitol one time. I could tell it was going to be hard for her this time around.
The note was much longer. I don't remember all the content but I remember this line because this is what I say to Annie to calm her down.
Count to ten. Close your eyes and just breathe.
I lie back and start fiddling with the rope again trying to follow my own advice.
Just breathe. I think and close my eyes.
Just breathe.