USS Tycho, Stardate 2292.293

They had left Deep Space Four the day before and it would be another two days before they reached Vulcan. Losha had spent most of his time at the station and now on the Tycho in his quarters, trying to get his emotions under control. Malar had accused him of hiding, but it was only partly true. If he'd been able to see, he would have been as excited to explore the Tycho as Naalem was. He'd never been on a Starfleet vessel that he could remember. It was possible that he'd been aboard one as a young child during his family's frequent moves, but he had no recollection. Booking passage on a Starfleet vessel was expensive - usually they had traveled via slower and cheaper cargo or transport ships. Since he had spent most of his time at the Seenan starship company working in the cargo division, he was particularly interested in Starfleet cargo operations and equipment, but as he couldn't see, there was no point in exploring.

He hated that he had spent most of his time sitting since the accident, but he disliked having to be guided around by someone else. He had let Betal take him for long walks on the beach in Orlyanal because there was no one or nothing around to bump into, but following behind someone on a starship with narrow hallways was more manoeuvering than he wanted to deal with. Since there was nothing to look at, he had often found his mind drifting off when walking with others and, as a result, not paying attention to their guidance. It would be a relief to be able to see again and not be reliant on others for something as simple as getting from one place to another.

But Malar had been partly right - he had been hiding as a means of avoiding Sarek. He didn't know what to say or how to act around him. He was not a shy person and had interacted with other Vulcans before, albeit briefly, but now he felt embarrassed by his emotional distress. He realized it wasn't just because Sarek was Vulcan - he would have been embarrassed for Seenans to see him in such a state as well - but knowing how distasteful Vulcans found emotional displays made it all the worse. He thought he had left all the anger, sadness, and anxiety of his youth behind him, and having it come back with such force was a struggle he hadn't anticipated.

He also didn't know what to say to Sarek because he didn't know how Sarek felt about his father or the discovery that he had a grandson. He'd decided he'd behave as if Sarek were just Ambassador Sarek and nothing more. He was a man who was helping him and that was all. But there was something he wanted to talk to him about and despite the fact that his emotions were still somewhat raw, they had subsided substantially in the past day. It might be wise to wait even longer, when he was back to his normal calm, easygoing self, but for some reason he felt he needed answers before he arrived on Vulcan. The last thing he wanted was to have an emotional breakdown on Vulcan, where he could be ostracized and perhaps even exiled for his behavior.

So he asked Malar to bring him to Sarek's and Amanda's quarters. Sarek answered the door - his wife was apparently somewhere else on the ship.

Losha took a deep breath.

"Hello, Ambassador. If you aren't busy, if it's not too much trouble, would you mind if I spoke with you for a moment? Well, maybe for more than a moment?"

"Certainly. Please come in." He didn't know whether he was reassured or uncomfortable by the fact that he couldn't see Sarek's expression or how he would react.

"I'll just help him in and then I'll be on my way," Malar said as she began to walk forward. He followed her in as she guided him to a chair. "Call me if you need anything," she said as he heard her moving away.

"I must finish up something I'm working on. It will only take a moment."

"If this is a bad time, I can come back later." He almost felt relieved. At the same time, he wanted to get it over with.

"Now is fine. I'll be right with you."

He heard Sarek moving around in the room and a minute or so later, approaching the chair he sat in.

"How can I be of assistance, Losha?"

"I know you said some of this is classified, but what can you tell me about my father's death? I want to know what happened to him."

Sarek did not respond right away, and the silence seemed like an eternity. In reality, Losha realized it was probably less than a minute.

"He took hostages on Nimbus III. He demanded a starship in exchange for their release."

"What?" Losha couldn't believe it. He knew his father did not think like anyone else and his behavior often reflected that, but taking hostages?

"Yes, he took three hostages. Starfleet personnel were dispatched to recover them, but he obtained control of their ship. He took the-"

"He obtained control of their ship?" Hostages and hijacking a ship? Could his father really have gone that far?

"He was not acting alone. He had persuaded others to his cause." Sarek sounded as if he were reciting a diplomatic treaty.

"His cause?" Losha was even more confused.

"Are you familiar with the story of Sha Ka Ree?"

"Yes. Why?"

"He took the ship where he believed it was located. He and his followers did not find Sha Ka Ree, but instead a malevolent alien entity. Your father realized his mistake, but too late. The entity killed him, but his actions allowed those with him to escape unharmed."

"I don't understand. Where did he think Sha Ka Ree was?"

"That is classified."

"Well, that figures. I knew he believed Sha Ka Ree was real, but why did he think it was wherever it was?"

"The alien entity had been in telepathic contact with him. He had convinced Sybok that he was Oekon." A small sigh escaped from Sarek.

"He thought the alien was God? He always believed Oekon was with him, but I can't believe he'd be so easily fooled by an alien. You can't fool him." Then, realizing his mistake. "I mean, you couldn't fool him. He could read minds. Like a Betazoid. But I guess you probably know that."

"This alien was an extremely powerful entity, with the ability to communicate telepathically across great distances. His abilities far surpassed Sybok's."

"What did this alien want from him?"

"That is also classified."

"I see." he sighed. He supposed he'd never learn why all this was classified. "Did my father...did he kill any of those hostages?" He wouldn't have believed it, but he had to know.

"No. There was violence between his followers and the Starfleet crew that was sent to recover the hostages, and, regrettably, there were deaths. But the hostages remained unharmed."

"I can't understand why he would take hostages. He didn't believe in violence. And he didn't need to take hostages. If he wanted to take over a starship, he could do it. He could convince people to do just about anything."

"So you are aware of his use of telepathy to persuade and influence others?" There was a tone of surprise in Sarek's voice.

"No. He believed in allowing others their own free will, but sometimes...He thought he was helping people. And maybe he was. He did help some people. I can't say if it was right or not. I never had those kind of abilities. I didn't understand what he was doing."

"He never attempted to influence you in this manner?" There was definite curiosity in his tone. Losha was beginning to feel that the longer he listened to Sarek, he could actually pick out emotions, which surprised him.

"He would get into my head, when I was younger, when I was doing things I wasn't supposed to be doing. But he wanted me to learn to make the right decisions on my own. When I was older, I resisted him. But he only wanted to help. I didn't understand that at the time." Losha sighed. I should have let him help me, he thought, but did not reveal this to Sarek. He did not want to get into a protracted conversation about emotion with him.

"Thank you for the information, Ambassador."

"There is no need for you to refer to me by my title. You may call me Sarek." Losha nodded his head but remained silent.

"You have no further questions?" Again he heard surprise in Sarek's voice.

"Not now. I just needed to know...what happened to him."

"I understand."

"I'll call Malar and have her come get me." Losha reached into his pocket for his comm device.

"That's not necessary. I can assist you."

"It's ok. I know Vulcans don't like to be touched."

Losha actually preferred not to be touched in certain ways - hugs and hand holding made him uncomfortable - but he knew this was only something he had become accustomed to from childhood as a result of his mother's Vulcan upbringing. But for him, it was only a preference, whereas for Vulcans he knew it was more of a taboo. He had no wish to disrespect Sarek, as much as he found the taboo somewhat odd.

"Is that what you believe?" Curiosity. It was one thing he was beginning to pick up on easily in Sarek's tone.

"It's not true?"

"It is true that Vulcans are not as tactile as other races because touch is often associated with emotion. But touch not associated with emotion is often necessary and we have no aversion to it."

"Oh."

"Of course, as touch telepaths, it would be an unwanted mental intrusion to touch one another on the hands or face without consent or forewarning."

"I see." That's how it had been for Losha's mother, but he said nothing to Sarek. His father, of course, had never needed to touch anyone to intrude on their mind.

"It seems you have some misconceptions about your own people."

"Maybe I do." Losha frowned. "But that's because they aren't my people. They were my parents' people. But I am willing to learn. I certainly don't want to encounter any problems while I'm on Vulcan because I do or say the wrong thing. I'm grateful to have Federation citizenship, and I don't want to lose it. Maybe just tell me if there's something I should know not to do, or to do."

"You wish to learn about Vulcan etiquette because you fear losing your Federation citizenship?"

"Well, yes." Losha smoothed his hands nervously over his pants.

"Your fear is unjustified. Your father was exiled because he tried to persuade others to abandon logic and embrace emotion. He desired radical change to Vulcan society and it is likely he used his exceptional telepathic abilities in order to realize this change. You do not share his abilities nor I do not perceive you to be revolutionary. Is that assumption correct?"

Losha didn't quite manage to suppress a snicker at the utterly Vulcan way in which Sarek asked the question. "No, I'm nothing like him. I mean, yes, your assumption is correct. Like I told you on Senes, I don't plan to stay on Vulcan. I certainly don't plan to incite revolution there. I'll leave as soon as I have my surgery. You have my word."

He was surprised by Sarek's response.

"May I speak to you on a subject relevant to our discussion, though of a more personal nature?"