USS Tycho, Stardate 2292.293
"Yes?" Losha supposed that whatever Sarek wanted to discuss with him that he considered personal, he could at least agree the discussion. If it turned out to be something he didn't want to talk about, he was under no obligation.
"Dr. Dvir has informed me that her colleagues on Vulcan believe the telepathic and memory damage you suffered can likely be repaired. Yet she indicates you are uncertain whether you wish to undergo the procedure."
"Yes?" It wasn't quite as personal a topic as Losha had been expecting, but it was one he didn't particularly care to discuss with Sarek.
"She believes you may have reservations about staying on Vulcan for continued treatment. I hope I have allayed any fears you may have had about your ability to remain on Vulcan? Or do you have other concerns about the procedure or treatment?"
"Uhh.." Sarek had not completely allayed his fears about remaining on Vulcan, but that was not the only reason Losha had not come to a decision. He didn't feel he could adequately articulate his discomfort with the idea of spending an extended period of time on his parents' planet of origin, so he decided to admit the fear he could rationally explain. He'd have felt more comfortable speaking with Dr. Dvir on the subject because she would likely have been able to offer a medical opinion, but he hadn't, and he felt he owed Sarek some explanation, at the least. After all, he did seem to be taking an interest in his wellbeing.
"I'm not concerned about the procedure itself. It's just that...You said that my father had exceptional telepathic abilities. Do you also?"
"My telepathic abilities are average for a Vulcan."
"Can you sense people's emotions?"
"Occasionally, if the emotion is extremely strong, particularly if the person is a telepath. But generally speaking, unless I am in physical contact with the person, then no."
"Well, I used to be able to. During the war in Hakar, especially, it was...unpleasant. And now I've grown used to not sensing them. I do want to see if the memory damage can be repaired, but I am...concerned about what it would be like to suddenly feel all these emotions around me."
"There are others with such abilities. With practice and discipline, they learn to manage them. A specialist can assist you with this."
"I have to give it some thought." Practice and discipline. Spending months or years on Vulcan practicing mental discipline was something he couldn't imagine doing. Could such discipline even be learned as an adult? Yet he wanted his memory repaired nearly as much as his sight.
"Your fears of being overwhelmed by the emotions of others are not unfounded, but telepathy is an important part of existence for Vulcans. I don't know how much of Vulcan ways you are familiar with, but should you have any questions, I will endeavor to answer them as best I can."
"Thank you. I don't really have any questions right now. And thank you for the information about my father."
"There is no need to thank me. I advised you previously that I would provide you with the information when you wished it."
Losha couldn't hold back a snicker at that.
"Have I said something humorous?"
"No. Well, thanks...I mean, I will let you get back to your work now. Do you mind helping me back to my quarters?"
"I already stated that I would assist you."
"So you did."
Losha spent the next two days on the Tycho considering what Sarek had said. After going back and forth about the idea of having the stem cell procedure for what seemed like an eternity, the only conclusion he had come to was that he would come to a conclusion later. He would make a decision after he had the neurosurgery to restore his vision.
He was sitting in a chair in the main area of his quarters, trying to take his mind off of the looming decision by listening to news reports from Senes, when Naalem burst into the room.
"We can see Vulcan on the sensors now! It's still small, but we can see it!"
"I suppose it won't be long before we enter orbit then."
"No, pretty soon and we'll be there!" Naalem had all the exuberance one would expect from a child on his first trip to another planet. Since he had no planet to call home, the entire concept of a "first trip to another planet" was one Losha could not relate to, but Naalem's enthusiasm made him happy.
Losha had been in orbit over Vulcan several times. Seeing the planet up close for the first time had unsettled him, and the second time he had actually tried to avoid looking out the viewports at it. By the fourth or fifth time, he no longer distinguished it from any of the other planets he had been prohibited from setting foot on. Though he could not see it now, the same discomfort he'd had on his first trip into the 40 Eridiani System began to arise.
Much like himself, Naalem had been very curious about Vulcan as a young child. He had imagined that the planet of his uncle's people was a better and happier place than war-devastated Hakar. But once he had understood it was a place Losha could not visit, he'd let his questions go. Losha knew he had done this not because he was no longer interested, but because he had always been very perceptive of the feelings of others.
"It must be exciting, going to another planet for the first time." He smiled.
"Of course it's exciting! I know it's probably boring for you. You don't even remember the first time you went to another planet. Going to another planet for you is probably like going to another city in Hakar for me."
"I wouldn't say that it's the same as just going from Undaa to Eskanar, but yes, sometimes I'm bored of traveling. But then I'm bored staying in one place for too long too. That doesn't make much sense, does it?"
"So what you are saying is that you are bored of doing anything for too long, whether it is staying in one place or going from place to place?"
"Yes, I suppose that's it." It actually made sense the way Naalem put it.
"You've always been that way." Naalem said it so matter-of-factly that Losha couldn't help but laugh. "But this time is different for you," Naalem continued, "because you will actually be able to go there."
"What are you most excited to see?" Losha hoped Naalem was too excited to care that he was intentionally changing the subject. Naalem was not aware of the conflicting emotions Losha had been experiencing the past few days. Perhaps he understood to a degree - he had expressed his sadness upon learning of Sybok's death. But he had assumed Losha would be happy to finally visit his parents' homeworld. Losha had not discussed with him the possibility of remaining on Vulcan for an extended period of time. He had also not explained his relationship to Sarek. Naalem had known Sybok and he'd felt it was right to inform him of his death, but he hadn't been prepared to answer questions he knew Naalem would have upon learning that Sarek was his grandfather.
"People who look like you. And the Vulcan Institute for Defensive Arts."
"The Vulcan Institute for Defensive Arts?"
"Yes, haven't you heard of it?"
"I suppose I remember reading about it when I was a child. But why would you want to see that?" Losha did not remember reading that the Vulcan Institute for Defensive Arts was located in a building of any architectural significance. Surely it would be more interesting to see the Temple of T'Panit or the Temple of Amonak, or the natural beauty of the Osana caverns or the Fire Plains. Those were names that stood out to him from his childhood.
"Because every day at midday they perform demonstrations in the courtyard for the public. One day it's archery, one day it's fighting with this thing called a lirpa, one day it's martial arts. Every day it's something different."
"I didn't realize you were so interested in archery or martial arts." Naalem occasionally played rahava, a sport that involved throwing a ball at opponents, but had never been particularly interested in sports, preferring instead to read or play games on his padd. Losha understood, since he did not care for sports himself, but he often felt that Naalem spent too much time playing games on his padd and wished he were more interested in something that involved physical activity.
"I wasn't. But I found these videos and it looks really cool. There's a guy there named Tuvok who's been undefeated for nine years in this one type of defense art called ponn-ifla? Have you ever heard of it?"
"Yes," Losha said. A memory stirred within him. "Yes, I have."