Becoming a wizard saint came with quite a lot of fanfare since it only happened every few years. Sometimes an entire decade might pass with no change in who held a seat, and the entry of a new saint into the ranks came with a celebration in Crocus.
Layla was a little annoyed Yuri wasn't there, because they'd done nearly everything together growing up. He was somewhere in Alvarez, hunting monsters to help blow off some steam and put some space between himself and Lilia Eucliffe's death.
All around her, people's lives were changing.
Mavis had moved out, making her and Lex the only kids who were at home, and once Yuri came home, he already had plans to move in with Petri. Becoming a Saint Wizard came with a reward chest that allowed her to buy a nice little condo in the tallest building in Magnolia, and that felt like an accomplishment, but outside of owning a space of her own and continuing her work, she didn't have many plans.
She was becoming a wizard saint, but that was, in some ways, an empty victory.
The day before her celebration, she made her way to the main courthouse in Crocus to pick up her final divorce papers. Once they were in hand, she sat down on the steps and thumbed through the pages, trying not to cry about the physical proof she held that she'd made such a bad mistake.
By law, if she ever wanted to marry again, she had to present her divorce papers to get a marriage license. That meant if she ever wanted to marry again, she'd have to present the divorce settlement, a perpetual reminder that she'd already failed at being married once.
Tears stung at her eyes, and she hugged her legs.
The thing that frightened her most was that at her young age, she was about to get the biggest professional promotion life had to offer. After that, what was there? Being married without any sort of professional identity or personal fulfillment felt empty, but being alone and professionally successful was personally empty.
Layla took a deep breath and pushed all of that out of her mind. Letting go of dreams was a sad part of growing up, and just like Yuri had to release all the dreams he once had about a life with his late love, she had to let go of Sam. It was different, maybe less extreme, but the fact Sam was still alive didn't make the dream any less dead for her.
She was still trying to regain her composure when she was joined on the steps by Petri Nekkis.
He offered her a cup of coffee and a bag with a pastry in it.
"You seem like the kind of girl that sleeps in and eats dessert for breakfast."
"You know that's exactly the kind of person I am. Waking up is horrible," she said.
"Probably better than the alternative."
Layla took a bite out of the pastry and once she swallowed, said, "There's something about you I don't really understand."
"What's that?"
"What's wrong with you and your dad?"
He shrugged. "I was born right before Tartaros wiped out the Magic Council. My dad left and I didn't see him growing up that much. My mom told me before she died that he was a hero, leading the magic world back to peace, and I guess I made up this idea of who my dad was. And he made up an idea of what he thought his son would be.
"I expected my dad to love me unconditionally, but he's old fashioned. I don't act the way he thinks I should. I have no interest in being like him or following in his footsteps. Love that comes with strings attached isn't really love, is it?"
Layla shook her head. "Of course it's not. I don't think that someone who truly loves someone else would make that person give up who they are to receive that love. That's a really terrible feeling. I know it takes compromise, but there's a difference between accepting differences in opinion and being asked to change you who are."
"My dad thinks I'm an asshole, because I don't bother with it much."
The pastry had become somewhat tasteless in her mouth, so she put it back in the bag. "Sometimes I feel like the villain, because I'm the one that quit Sam."
"The world is full of broken people, but most people don't think about the fact that the worst wounds we get are from the ones that are supposed to love us. I don't want to do that to anyone else, or have anyone do that to me again."
Layla said, "You're actually kind of deep."
"I just learned how to talk about my feelings without being drunk recently. I'm a real grown up now I guess."
She asked, "Are you really serious about this? You're not…you're less terrible than you used to be. I'm difficult."
"Difficult, but not as difficult as you used to be."
"I'm also sort of…I'm a little warped, I guess."
"If you're willing to give it me a fair and honest chance, I think we could be good for each other. I won't make you any promises I can't deliver on. I'm ready to get to know you in a more personal way, I want to travel and go places and see things with you. I'm not really interested right now in making any plans outside of that. No eloping, no pets, none of that crazy Layla stuff."
Layla asked, "I'm not good at doing things right. I get carried away."
"It's fine. I can be a rock. It's what my name means. Rock."
"Mine means 'night,' which I guess is kind of ironic, since I use light powers. But anyway, it's not like it was before. I'm not a dumb little naïve virgin."
Petri was surprised by this seemingly random comment and could only respond with, "If you were, it would explain the divorce."
She glowered at him. "I'm being serious. I kind of assumed I would only ever be with one person. My mom has only been with my dad. Even my sisters are like that. With their dumb stupid perfect little relationships where everything always works out great."
"I like a girl with some experience. Leave innocence for the innocent. We're grown-ups, we'll have our own fun. Whenever we're ready."
"Look, I don't want to be a sexually frustrated saint. It's not like we just met. I already know all the things about you that I don't like. I haven't had sex in months. I don't enjoy self-service. I mean, what's the point? I just feel like someone else should be handling that for me. You have casual sex, so it's not like it would be a big deal for you."
After staring in shock for a few seconds. "You're such a brat. I'm trying to be a reasonable guy and you just want me for the sex."
"It's not like I'm going to kill you when it's over. Unless it's bad. And if we do this, you cannot allow me to eat afterward. Post-coital food binges are a thing for me."
"That's kind of cute. I can buy some more pastries."
"Boy, I'll punch you so hard your nose goes into your brain. Is there anything I should know before we do this?"
"I have a foot fetish," he said in the same tone anyone else might have commented on the weather or given directions.
"Wait…what?"
Petri said, "I like feet a lot. Not like, all feet. Just cute girl feet. You have the most beautiful feet to ever walk the earth, you know. Small, and your toes are kind of long and straight. Graceful arches, toenails nice and perfect, always painted. No veins sticking out anywhere. Girly little ankles. They look so soft, and like you take good care of them."
Her jaw dropped and stayed like that for a while. "A-Are you serious?"
"Yes."
"Is this a new thing? I don't remember you being this much of a weirdo way back when."
"I liked feet a little, but the more experienced I became, the more intense it got."
"Really, this is the strangest thing a guy has ever told me and I've kissed some interesting frogs. How have you had that many girlfriends and you're this twisted?"
Petri leaned on the steps. "Find me a girl that doesn't want her feet rubbed every day. Or their toes sucked? Everyone thinks it's weird, and then they love it."
"Toe sucking? Is that even a thing?!"
"Yes! Of course it is. No one has ever done that to you?"
"Do normal people do that…or just weirdos?"
"Probably just most weirdos and some normals."
Layla suddenly broke out into giggles, and she laughed until she was nearly crying. "This is the dumbest conversation I've had in my entire life."
He laughed with her and then said, "Please let me touch your feet!"
"No! It would probably turn you on."
"Which is why you should let me do it. I've been a good boy, haven't I?"
She shook her head. "Is this whole thing some elaborate scheme so you can do disgusting things to my feet?"
"Yes and no?"
Once Layla recovered from her giggles, she said, "You're are such an idiot. Okay, is that all it takes to keep you happy?"
"Basically. The feet are the sideshow. The main event will be great, I promise. I just really like to kiss the tigers when I go to the circus, if you know what I mean."
Layla rolled her eyes. "What on earth am I getting myself into?"
He was getting on her nerves, but despite the rather adult nature of their conversation, she'd been giggling and generally felt at ease. Suddenly, she remembered that one of her initial grievances with him as a boyfriend was that he strongly reminded her of her father at times. One of the things her father did was annoy her mother until she gave in and laughed.
At least having a peculiar foot fascination set him apart from that, so she pushed that out of mind and went back to her pastry.
Petri said, "Is this romantic? I think I'm being charming right now."
"You're picking up a girl five minutes after her divorce is final by offering to do deviant sexual things to her feet. That's classless and gross. It is not romantic. You better rock my world or you'll be sorry."
Petri said, "You're saying…you'll go with me, to my room, and you will let me touch your feet…and other places? How unsaintly."
"If I hear one more unsaintly joke, I'm going to shove one of my pretty feet up your ass."
"I might like that, you know. Anyway, be nice to me. I have a gift for you. I was going to give it to you as a congratulatory gift tomorrow, but I'm feeling generous. I'll basically do anything you want if you let me touch your feet."
XXX
Laxus really had no issues with the idea that he had never become a wizard saint and would never be. Running a guild and raising a large family was enough trouble, and he honestly wouldn't have wanted 'redeemed' antagonists to get in because not everyone rehabilitated correctly.
Of course, he was happy for his daughter, because it mattered to her.
It was also a big move for Fairy Tail.
The nuts and bolts of the Ten were largely secret, but Natsu had told him Rufus—who was elected into the seat Markarov vacated at death—had been politicking against Fairy Tail hard to tip the scales farther in Sabretooth's favor. With Rogue and Rufus, they had two representatives, where Fairy Tail just had Natsu.
Rufus had worked diligently to stop the nominations of Gray, for some questions about his supposed involvement with Avatar; Juvia, for non-sanctioned inter-guild fighting; Gajeel, for the same reason; Erza, for Jellal; Freed, for the assault on Fairy Tail; and Mirajane, because she ate demons.
Since most of Fairy Tail's dirty laundry was out in the open, if a critical, ill-motivated person wanted to complain, everyone had faults. Rufus used Fairy Tail's reputation as a renegade guild to manipulate others and influence votes.
Rufus had even attempted to keep Layla out, saying her personal conduct showed signs of bad character. In fact, he had been the sole vote against her entry into the wizard saints, with Rogue breaking with him to vote for her.
Natsu explained this over coffee in the hotel restaurant that morning, and then added, "I'm not really into politics, so maybe I could do more. I figure I probably don't need to at this point. They don't know what kind of monster Layla is."
"She'll deal with Rufus for sure. It's not a situation where I can do anything. I'm somehow outgrowing being overprotective. My older kids are all adults. They fend for themselves."
Natsu said, "I thought I'd have to be an overprotective dad. Iggy never caused me any trouble. The world probably needs to be protected from Jane. What a mean little girl. She threatened to eat your son's heart this morning."
"It's good for Lex. Toughens him up and helps him understand the difference between irrational fears of stupid things and things that should actually terrify him, like fire-breathing devil girls."
Once they finished their coffee and Natsu left, Laxus went back to his room, flopped down on the bed next to his wife who was still sleeping in, and sighed.
His schedule had been ridiculously full during the month between Oaktown and now the entry of Layla as a wizard saint. He seemed busy, and yet his home life was starting to untangle.
Mavis was out, Yuri was gone and he'd be moved out as soon as he got back. Layla had most of her stuff packed and a deposit on a stylish new place. In no time at all, they'd just have Lex, and the dog.
He watched his wife sleep, marveling at how gorgeous she looked. Their life together was nothing short of incredible, and he really couldn't imagine what things might have been like if they hadn't gotten together. Everything about their long history, from their first kiss to their first grandkids had been wonderful.
When she woke up, she sighed. "This is nice."
"Mhmm."
"Do we have to go anywhere?"
"Not for a while."
She yawned. "What do you want to do?"
"Whatever you want to do."
Lucy smiled. "How about we stay in?"
"No complaints here."
"Where is Lex?"
Laxus said, "Playing with Jane Dragneel in the park across the street. I think Lisanna is watching them. If she's not…who would bother them? Jane is terrible and Lex's snot can melt bones."
Lucy replied, "You know what I was thinking about the other day?"
"Hm?"
"Our adorable grandsons are more closely related to the Dark Lord Zeref than they are to Makarov. Zeref would be their great uncle. Makarov would be their great great grandfather."
Her husband said, "And you were thinking about this for what reason?"
Lucy replied, "Just curious. According to Mavis—the real one—Zeref was very sweet and charming."
"When he wasn't attempting to wipe out mankind? Also, our daughter is also 'real.' Naming someone after another person doesn't make them imaginary. I would expect a writer to be more careful with words, but you write pornographic novels for middle-aged women these days."
She sighed. "I wrote my male protagonist as a rather dull cretin with a powerful adoration for cats. He's based off of you, just younger, and with too many cats. And exotic. Oh, and he can cook. He's a chef."
"And I'm what?"
"Whatever the opposite of what a good cook is."
Laxus grabbed her when she tried to get out of bed and pulled her back against him. "You're not going anywhere. I mean that. We'll stay in bed."
"Okay. I'm convinced. Let me go take a shower and I'll come back. I'm sticky in gross places."
They had a vigorous late morning session and while Laxus was napping peacefully, someone knocked on their door.
Laxus groaned. "Whoever it is can fuck off until we get back from vacation next week. Party, vacation."
Lucy put on her robe. "We're still guild leaders. It could be something serious."
She slipped her feet into slippers and answered the door to find her Anna standing on the other side of the door with a baby on each hip and a diaper bag.
"I know you guys are on vacation, but not officially until tomorrow so could you guys pleeeeeeease help me out? Just for two hours. Enough time to go to a grownup restaurant, and then I'll be back."
Lucy grabbed one baby and then the other. "Come here, my sweet itty bitties! I'll take it from here. Your dad is naked in the other room."
"Thanks, Mom. That's exactly what I needed to know."
Lucy added, "Also, your babies are more closely related to Zeref the Dark Prince than Gams."
"Mom! These are my babies. Why would you even think about something like that?"
"If there's a recipe for monster somewhere, it probably reads one cup Dreyar, one cup Dragneel, add baking powder, and stir."
Anna said, "I think my babies are the sweetest, most perfect people in the whole world. Did you ever feel that way?"
"Let me explain how this works: babies become half as cute when they start talking. That cuteness amount is cut in half again during toddler stage, because toddlers are just…you'll see when you get there. After that, they stay uniformly cute until about age twelve, at which point all their remaining cuteness dissolves. Then they turn into adults and whatever awful habits or traits they have, they are stuck with forever. Except you. We never really stopped liking you. You didn't become rebellious and we had no idea you were horny and sexually frustrated like a normal teenager until it was too late."
Anna put the diaper bag on a chair. "Thanks Mom, I love you, but my kids are going to be different."
"We'll see. I will bring this back to your remembrance in about fifteen years. And I will laugh at you."
"Be careful with Taryn. He has one-tenth of a fang and he knows how to use it."
Lucy said, "I just don't what I'd do with a baby if you weren't here to teach me. Now go have fun."
After Anna was gone, Lucy gleefully carried her grandsons into the hotel suite's bedroom, where Laxus was scribbling an anti-flame enchantment in light pen in his underwear.
"What? Scared?" she said.
"Who has to pay if they burn the hotel down? The parents, for making them? Us, for being in charge when it happened?"
Lucy said, "My sweet baby boys would never make trouble, would you?"
"They're getting big. They're going to be walking in no time. I almost feel bad for their parents."
"Before you know it, they'll be out in the world, going on their own adventures."
Laxus finished the enchantment and stayed on the floor with them. "It happened so fast, didn't it? Sometimes it feels like it was yesterday you were in the old house, rubbing your belly while we talked about what it would be like to be parents. It's really been quite a long time, and we're getting older. We're grandparents."
Lucy smiled as she squeezed Taryn hard. "I've never regretted a second of it. I can't imagine anything I could have done with my life that would have been better. Every adventure, big and small, has been great and I feel so fortunate to have someone like you as my partner for life."
Hadyn pulled on his grandfather's shirt, which his brother found indescribably funny, and while laughing uncontrollably the way only a baby can, lightning came out his nose.
"Is this worse or better than milk?" she asked.
"Both?"
Laxus said, "Let's tickle them until they fall asleep. Then we can take a nap. We'll do it jail-style and trap them between us."
"Good plan."
Once they'd run their grandsons' energy out, they laid them in the bed between them so they couldn't crawl out of the bed and settled in for a peaceful nap that was quickly interrupted by Taryn rooting aggressively against Lucy's chest, still flat after her surgery years before.
"Men are such simpletons, even the little ones," Lucy said.
He bit, and that one-tenth of a fang went through her shirt. "Ow! That is sharp! I know you're not hungry. Just greedy and you want the titties. You get that from your Gams."
"So to revisit your point from earlier, why is everything bad the great nephews of Zeref do automatically my fault? Like I'm the bad branch in their family tree…"
"Zeref made a magic baby with a woman trapped in the body of a prepubescent girl. Let's be real, breasts were probably not his thing."
There was another knock on the door, and Laxus sighed. "Never even a moment of peace."
A little voice called from beyond the door, "You don't deserve it!"
"And sharp ears, on top of that," he added.
Lucy opened the door to Mavis, who walked in and plopped down on the bed.
Despite being generally independent, Mavis—when upset—would return to their bed like a four-year-old and pout. When she'd been younger and Lucy got sick, she'd insisted on sleeping in the bed with them.
Laxus sighed. "Are you in one of those spoiled baby moods?"
"I'm not a spoiled baby."
"Right. What are we whining about today?"
"Baby Orga is dumb. And I'm not whining. I'm stating the facts. He's dumb, and an idiot, and I can't stand him."
Laxus' brow rose. "What did he do?"
"He's just an idiot."
"You know you can't be mad at someone for that, right?" Lucy asked.
Mavis said, "But he's really stupid."
Her mother asked, "What did he do?"
"He killed Goldie. He kept feeding and feeding it."
"I thought Bill was your fish…"
Mavis said, "Bill was the first one. Baby Orga accidentally knocked his fishbowl off the coffee table when he was wrestling with Iggy in the house—which I told him not to do. Then we got Goldie, and he was trying to make up for being a terrible fish parent to Bill by overfeeding him. Now she's gone too. How can two adults not be capable of keeping a fish alive?"
"Between the two of you, no one is really a nurturer. Or…super responsible, I guess. It's kind of a strange contrast. Anna and Iggy have babies. You guys have two dead goldfish and a diseased cactus," her father said.
Mavis growled in irritation and her nephews started giggling at her. "I will not be mocked by babies."
"If they were goldfish, I guess they wouldn't be laughing, would they?" Laxus added.
Lucy said, "I have an idea. Why don't you both get a goldfish, and which ever one lives the longest proves who the worst fish parent is?"
"Are you making fun of me, Mom?"
Laxus replied, "The twins can't even talk yet and even they're laughing at you. But really, did you nag Baby Orga about fighting in the house? A few weeks of shacking up and you're already turning into a nag."
"Baby Orga and Orga are barbarians. Everyone goes to their house to be a barbarian. Iggy. Petri. Henry Freed. They fight in the house. They burp and tell stupid jokes and they smell like men."
Her mother gave Mavis a pat on the head. "Just so we're clear. You are complaining about men smelling like men."
"Yes. One of the few nice things I can say about Dad is that he taught Yuri and Lex not to ever just hang around the house and leave that barn animal smell behind."
Laxus nodded. "Your list of a few nice things about me includes the fact I don't smell like a barn animal."
"Duh. Look, I have a sensitive nose, and I hate the way Baby Orga smells lately. His scent nauseates me, and when I see his face, I think about the fact everything we try to nurture dies because he's an idiot."
Lucy said, "You'll be fine. I'm afraid I can't say the same thing for your fish."
Mavis complained, "Anna really makes the whole living together thing seem easy. It's not."
"Living with someone you love can be the most annoying thing in the whole world," her mother answered.
Laxus nodded sagely at this comment.
"Did you guys have problems?"
Lucy said, "We almost broke up over a rug. We bickered over how the pantry should be organized. We got irritated about housekeeping and cooking. We got tired of looking at each other once or twice. It's a learning process. Less about getting to know the other person and more about getting to know yourself. You learn exactly how patient you are, exactly how nice you can be to someone you have to sleep with, and exactly what conditions might lead you to committing murder."
"Why does Anna make it look so easy?"
Laxus said, "Because Anna doesn't have a bad temper, and Iggy doesn't either. That's something not something you can hold onto living with somebody else. You're going to have to work on that if you want to be happy. That's all there really is to it. You can like someone a lot, but if you don't give them the patience and grace they need, they're not going to give it to you either."
"Boo on you," Mavis grumbled.
Lucy answered, "Boo on you for moving out and then coming back to complain at us about it. And boo on you for murdering fish. Really, you're not a kid anymore, and you should be more responsible."
"Why do I even come to you guys for help?"
"Desperation and familiarity," Laxus answered, "If you keep a goldfish alive long enough, it will eventually become conditioned so that when it sees you, it expects food."
And then, she started crying, which was a rarity.
Her dad sat next to her on the edge of the bed and wrapped an arm around her. "What's wrong with my little lightning bug?"
"I don't want to look at his face, or watch him kill goldfish, or see his dumb green hair in the sink, or see his shoes in front of the door, or hear him snoooooore…"
Laxus found watching this strangely adorable and kissed her hair. "Sometimes, I get on your mom's nerves so much she doesn't even like to hear me breathe. She yelled at me for breathing the same air as her like three days ago."
"It's true. Your dad is a pretty annoying guy. Sometimes I wake up and I just want to shove him out of the bed for laying all over me like a big lizard. It's okay though. It's good to learn how to be more patient with someone else, because you know what? Baby Orga is going to learn how to be patient with you," she said.
Mavis sniffed. "Layla said I could move in with her and we'll start a manhater club, be old maids, and die alone together with sixty cats."
Lucy squeezed her hand. "Okay, maybe hold off on that for now. You're going to be okay. Men are annoying, but you're probably annoying to him too. You love Baby Orga, and Baby Orga loves you."
It was a heart-warming moment that was interrupted by Hadyn, who started crying because his Aunt Mavis was crying, and then his brother started crying because everyone else seemed to be upset.
Laxus took the babies onto his lap and Lucy comforted their daughter.
Lucy said, "How about you and me go out on the town? We'll go see the sights."
"Didn't you have plans?"
"Your dad doesn't mind. Right?"
Laxus grumbled, "I'm fine. Us men have to stick together. Apparently, I need to teach them how to not smell bad as its one of my few redeeming qualities that I can pass along to them."
Lucy said, "Have I ever told you that your dad sometimes plucks the reaaaaaally long hairs that grow in his ears out with my eyebrow tweezers? I literally almost murdered him the first time I saw him do it."
"Ewww, Dad, you're so gross."
Once Mavis calmed down and washed her face, Lucy walked with her all around the market square while they tasted exotic food and ran down a list of all the things Baby Orga and Laxus did that were intolerable. Then Lucy went down the list of things she knew irritated her husband, just so her daughter would realize everyone was naturally annoying to everyone else. The trick wasn't to become less annoying, or for someone else to annoy less, but to learn how to live with it.
Since Mavis was impatient, had a short fuse, was generally bad at talking about her feelings, the transition was proving difficult.
Eventually, she did calm down, but when they were sitting on the ledge of the huge Royal Fountain, she started crying about the fate of their goldfish again.
Lucy wrapped an arm around her and asked, "How about we head back. You can take a nice nap, maybe snuggle with Baby Orga."
"Maybe I'll snuggle with him until he goes to sleep, and then put the pillow over his face and watch him flail until he dies," she answered.
"That's the spirit!"
Lucy returned to her husband after leaving Mavis with Baby Orga, and found the twins were left to crawl around on the carpet in their diapers, a peeve that she absolutely despised. Babies, in her opinion, always needed to be dressed. Her husband's preference to just let them be in their diapers was possibly the most despised thing about his entire parenting style.
"What happened to their clothes? I was gone for less than two hours?!"
"A little spit up, some milk, fire…you know. Anyway, is Mavis feeling better?"
"Our daughter is crying because she can't kill her boyfriend. We raised some good kids, right? As far as I can tell, he didn't actually do anything wrong. She's just mad. The goldfish thing is pathetic, but I think she's just having a moment."
"They'll figure it out."
Lucy picked Taryn up off the floor and found he had something clutched in his fingers. "What's that, baby boy?"
When she pried his death grip open, she found he had half a locust in his hand. The window was open and there were literally thousands of them trying to mate and die in the fall, so it wasn't that strange one managed to come in the room.
"Taryn! Where's the other half?"
Her husband chuckled. "You ask like you don't already know."
"My little granddragons aren't bug eaters!"
"Of course they are."
Lucy turned to fuss at her husband and heard a slurp, turning to see nothing in Taryn's hand but a long string of drool as he smiled at her innocently.
"Did he just…"
Laxus said, "I wonder where it went if he's not a bug eater? Maybe he's a little magician."
Just then, Taryn coughed and ejected an even smaller piece of the bug right onto his grandmother's face.
While she yelled, Laxus picked Hadyn up off the floor and laid down on the bed with him. "I don't know what you're freaking out about. Our granddragons are not bug eaters."
Lucy wiped off her face and found now that Taryn was done with his bug, he wanted to be held and snuggled.
When Anna and Iggy came to claim their little ones not long after, no mention was made of the eating of bugs, although Anna did stop to scold her father for allowing them to wander about without pants on, which he still found to be silly.
Then, they went back to what they'd been planning on doing all day: having a nice quiet day of peace.
Just before dinner, they made the rounds to check on Lex, who was officially under the care of the Natsu and Lisanna and at the mercy of Jane Dragneel, the pink-haired subject of their son's most intense nightmares.
They had a nice dinner out, and once all had settled in for the night, it occurred to them that they hadn't seen his oldest daughter the entire day. This was somewhat unusual because Layla was typically reasonably social with them throughout the day and was well-known for wanting to drag Lucy shopping any time they got away from home. She wasn't in her room, but it was easy for them to assume she was busy getting ready for her big day or just out having fun.
Down the hall once it was almost midnight, Layla awoke in Petri's room to the sound of banging on the door.
Petri opened his eyes, looked at the clock, and jumped out of the bed, still naked. "Damn, it must be Natsu. I'm late. I have something I have to go do. I'll be back."
He kissed her quickly.
"It's midnight. Where are you going?"
"It's a secret."
Layla sighed. "Okay, I don't like you again. Get away from me, you foot freak."
He just laughed and stopped to pick up one of her feet so he could kiss the bottom as he dressed in a fresh set of black clothes from his bag. "Don't worry. I'll be back soon, Goddess."
"Goddess?"
"What else could you possibly be? Powerful, temperamental, beautiful, here to entrance the unsuspecting with your beauty, turn frogs to stone, punish the evildoers, reward the righteous. I'm just here to worship at the altar. Hopefully, I won't be gone long."
She went back to her room once he was gone, showered, thought about her life, wrote exactly two sentences in her journal, and then laid on the bed in a trance-like state for what felt like a lifetime. There was something incredibly precious about her and Sam being each other's first lover, but being with an older, confident, and very experienced man was quite nice.
There wasn't a square inch of her body that hadn't been rubbed, kissed, licked, sucked, massaged, tickled, or caressed. Was foot fetishism strange? Quite, but having a man sit at her feet and rub and kiss them for an hour actually was great. She felt like putty, and for once, had nothing at all on her mind—not being a saint wizard, not being a divorcee, nothing. She had no regrets, and felt quite good about what happened.
They hadn't talked about much or made any serious promises except not to make any promises and were fine with just taking it however it happened.
In the morning, she mistakenly believed Petri had returned to her when someone knocked on the door, and while in a half-asleep haze, opened the door in lacy underwear to find her father standing there.
His surprise melted in surprise. "….what the hell?"
She slammed the door in his face and returned thirty seconds later in a robe.
"I was obviously expecting someone else."
Her room didn't smell like anybody else had been there, so he was deeply confused and wasn't entirely sure what his daughter was doing.
"You want to eat your last breakfast as a non-saint with your dad?"
"Maybe. Where's Mom?"
"She, Yukino, and Anna went off to train."
"Lex?"
"Probably running from Jane."
"Mavis?"
"Spending some time with her guy. They're not getting along so well I guess. Just you and me, unless you don't want to eat with me."
"Of course I do. Let me get dressed. I'll be right out."
When she was in the bathroom getting dressed, he saw her journal and tipped it open, where the only words written the night before were:
"Bad case of BDE. Need sleep."
When she came out, he asked, "What is BDE? Some kind of disease?"
Layla snatched the journal and screeched, "DAD! Do not read my journal!"
"Do you need medicine? Or is it like PMS? I can buy you some chocolate."
"Dad! Let's go already."
They got through most of breakfast without Layla saying anything about Petri, but he knew from how the she'd answered the door she'd been doing something with someone. She seemed peaceful, excited, and oddly vibrant, like something had made her happy, at least for the moment. He wasn't sure how he felt about it, but he decided not to comment on it unless she wanted to talk.
Layla learned from her mistakes, so Laxus knew she wouldn't get messed up too fast. She'd stay away from toxic relationships because she'd been poisoned already; she'd never make her life be about somebody else because she'd almost lost herself; she wouldn't let a man try to put her in a glass box on a shelf, because she was wild and had a destiny much bigger than that.
It was something to see her there, the morning she would become a saint, happy, whole, and strong. She'd cleared out some of her heaviest and most cumbersome baggage and had high ambitions.
Layla asked, "Do you know where Petri is? He disappeared."
"Was he the one who you expected this morning?"
"That's none of your business."
"That's a 'yes.'"
"Do you have a problem with it?"
Her father shook his head. "You don't need my approval."
"But I want it. I feel like if I'd listened a lot more, I might have saved myself some heartache."
Laxus said, "He's all right. Without getting too carried away like you do, you have to live your life. I'm old now, but once I was young and I did whatever I wanted. I don't regret any of it. I mean in my personal life. Obviously there were some events in my career that I will always regret."
"You're not that old."
"I don't know what BDE is and I feel like if I asked anyone under the age of thirty, I'd find out."
"An old man asking that question would be so weird. Please just don't embarrass yourself."
"What is BDE?"
"I'm not telling you, Daddy. If I did, you'd wish I hadn't. You didn't answer my question either. When Petri sneaks around, it's usually because you told him to."
Laxus looked away. "I asked Petri to get something for me. I suspect he'll be back at any time. Don't worry about any of that. Just have fun. Who even knows what's going to happen?"
He looked tense, and she hated that. The world was in motion and she just wanted it to stop for a while so she could relax and breathe for a while. Then again, this would have been business as usual when her parents were young adults. The things they went through were nothing short of incredible, and she knew strife bred greatness.
Layla added, "Do you think Gams was always like he was? Such a good person?"
"No. Your Gams was mean, short-tempered, and an alcoholic for most of his life. He became more altruistic and caring when he got old. When he was young, he was just difficult and ambitious. Good people become warmer and kinder as they age, evil people grow cold and hard."
"Maybe I have the power of a saint, but I don't feel like a Natsu or a Lyon or a Rogue…I'm kind of selfish."
Laxus said, "All three of them were focused on their own goals at your age. I don't think anyone is asking you to become old and wise. Everyone believes that on a dark day, you have the courage, ability, and willingness to make a difference."
"A dark day…"
"I've seen a few in my time. You will too. Your Gams considered your gifts to be more of a curse than a blessing. Wizards who aren't ever going to accomplish much and have little power typically live somewhat normal lives. Powerful wizards are always forced to make decisions about how they're going to use that power and when. Those choices aren't going to be questions; they're going to desperate, violent and terrible times. You're going to have to decide what you're willing to live for and what you're willing to die for, and then be tested on it."
His daughter was concerned with his general tone, but it wasn't a secret that in the wake of Lilia's murder, it was clear things were rapidly changing. Relations between Fairy Tail, the Magic Council, and the Magic Knights had suddenly soured due to their vigilante justice, and there were still so many unanswered questions.
Layla picked at her food. "I'll be fine."
"I know you will."
Layla asked, "I'm going to go get another tattoo. You want to come with me?"
"I'll pass."
"You could get one too. Like Mom's name. Or all our names."
Laxus said, "I had too many kids for something like that."
"Then you could start adding grandkids."
"Definitely too much potential for damage."
Layla sighed. "You're no fun. Weren't you ever young?"
"Yes, one thousand years ago. Have you ever seen Gildart's saggy back tattoo? Tattoos get considerably less amazing as they age."
"Kind of like people, right? Anyway, that doesn't sound like anything I need to see. And using Mom for comparison, I know I'll always be hot. Unless I got too many of your genes. In which case I'll be a grumpy, silver-haired old wrinkly hag."
Laxus glared at her. "I will now speak upon you the greatest curse a parent can place on their child: Someday, I hope you have one just like you."
"Is that what happened to you?"
"Unfortunately. It's you, in case you're wondering."
They chatted about family, about magic, about all the things that were going through her mind. Layla was excited about the promotion, intimidated about what it might mean, and generally pondering on what made a person happy or fulfilled, and if those things were exclusive. At the moment, she found fulfillment in magic, excitement in learning more, enjoyment in having a new partner, but had some doubts and considerations about her long-term plans.
Lilia's death had impacted everyone deeply, and while Yuri was most powerfully affected, it threw Layla back into a place to question what was most important in life.
When they finished, they walked back to the hotel where they ran into Natsu and Petri, who gave Laxus a heavy-looking backpack. Judging from their rather serious expressions, Layla wondered what they'd been asked to do, or what was in the bag.
Layla trusted her father more than anyone in the world, and she believed he didn't make mistakes as guildmaster. If he did something, it was because it was the right thing to do and the smartest thing to do.
She decided not to entangle herself in whatever was going on, because her father didn't want her to be involved and she really just wanted to enjoy her day.
Layla went for her tattoo and then got everything in order for the party before converging with her mother and both of her sisters at the hotel's lavish spa for a little pampering.
They sat in a sauna first, and then soaked in a giant mudbath. Spas were not at all Mavis' speed, and she didn't appreciate being forced to be still for long periods of time, but somehow, with the stresses of a more adult life on her shoulders, she found it quite relaxing.
Eventually, her rantings were quieted down and they all sighed in relief.
Anna asked, "Why do you have more tattoos?"
Layla said, "Because I wanted one. I might pierce my lip and eyebrow and start hanging out with one of those gangs of guys that who wear leather and beat people with chains."
"That's very charming. I'm proud to be your mother," Lucy replied.
They were up to their chins in mineral clay with cucumbers on their eyes when Layla asked, "Is toe sucking a normal thing?"
Anna said, "My babies suck their toes all the time. I think it's normal."
Layla asked, "Yeah, but does Iggy do it to you?"
Anna nearly choked. "Suck my toes? Why would he do that?"
"Baby Orga did it once. I put my heel in his eye socket and told him not to be weird," Mavis said.
Lucy said, "I don't know if toe sucking is normal. You dad does it, but he's a little bit weird about feet. He really likes my feet."
Layla sank another inch under the mud. "Now I'm disgusted."
Lucy added, "Why? I just feel like having a man kiss your feet and suck your toes is something that just goes with your personality. Like you'd think worshipping at your feet is what you'd expect from someone fortunate enough to be graced with your presence."
Mavis grumbled, "The feeling of a human tongue between my toes is one of the most disgusting, unnerving things ever. A tongue belongs in the mouth of the person who was born with it and nowhere else."
"You mean you don't like-" Anna started, trailing off so she wouldn't have to name that which she was referring to.
"Absolutely not, that's disgusting. Tongues and places people pee and poop out of should never be less than two feet apart. Period. Anyway, who the hell sucked your toes, Layla? Sam doesn't seem like he's enough of a weirdo whore boy for that," Mavis said.
Anna replied, "That's super offensive. You shouldn't talk about someone like that. I don't even think you understand how many reprehensibly terrible things you say in a day. We had the same parents; I don't understand why you are like this."
"I said he's not a weirdo whore boy, didn't I?"
Lucy took the cucumber off one eye. "Someone who is adventurous in bed is not a 'weirdo whore boy.'"
Mavis said, "If I told you I think a young person in our guild could be a weirdo whore boy, we'd all think of the exact same person. You can't tell me that's not a thing. I mean, who else would put Layla's gross toes and her long finger-toes in their mouth but the mouth-breather?"
Lucy practically withered at this comment. "This is…very relaxing. I'm so glad we all decided to relax together."
"Why do I always grouped in with them?" Anna asked.
"Guilt by genetic association," her mother answered.
Layla said, "Anyway, so what if I did? I can do whatever I want."
Anna answered, "You really slept with him? That makes you the only one that's been with more than one person. You're breaking tradition."
"Oh well, I'm sorry my fairy tale is more exciting and has more chapters than any of yours. I didn't marry the first frog I kissed. Boo fucking who. I'm fabulous," she said.
"I just…I just believe Sam is your true love," Anna answered, a hint of disappointment in her voice.
Layla quickly said, "I don't believe in that. I believe in doing what I want and being the master of my own destiny. Besides, what do I even need a guy for?"
Lucy took the cucumbers off her eyes. "Outside of sucking your toes?"
"Am I really missing something? I think Iggy would do it if I asked, but I don't want to ask if he doesn't really want to do it," Anna mumbled.
Layla added, "Anyway, if Dad asks any of you what BDE is, please don't tell him."
Anna said, "I don't know what BDE is."
Lucy asked, "I don't either."
Mavis said, "Big dick energy."
"How do you even know if one is big or small?" Anna replied.
This was a surreal conversation for Lucy, who decided to just use the opportunity to try and relax because there was absolutely no reason to bother with the conversation going on around her. Mavis was rude, Anna was sweet and innocent, and Layla was defiant—as they had all been dating back to when they were toddlers.
They all got a massage together after washing the mud away, and after manicures and pedicures, hair styling and more conversations about life, Layla went up to her room to find her foot-worshipping friend had returned.
Her appearance had changed drastically since the morning, as the huge scar on her face was now filled in completely with gold tattoo ink. The Fairy Glitter array was tattooed onto her right arm in the same gold ink as well.
"How did you get in here?"
"I broke in, obviously. You look pretty awesome. I feel like the golden goddess thing was my idea. That looks metallic. Is it safe to have metal in you like that?"
Layla said, "I already planned to do this, and I've had metal inside of me before anyway. I'll let you think really hard about that and when you get it, we'll pick up this conversation then. Anyway, I need to get ready. I don't have time for you. Besides, you ran off and left me."
Petri said, "Your dad asked me to do something for him. He's my guildmaster. My leader. 'Sorry, I was having great sex' isn't a good excuse. 'I'm sorry I'm banging your daughter into a stupor' would have been even worse."
Layla added, "You're not my date tonight, by the way. Maybe after, but not right now. I have to take this step by myself. This is about my future. About who I am in the world of magic. In the world of magic, I don't want to be Petri's girl—I want to be Layla Dreyar. I've earned that right."
"I'm fine with that. I'm just here for those feet."
"Whatever. You can rub them while I put on my makeup."
"Score!"
Petri sat at her feet while she got ready and gave her a foot massage.
Once her makeup was fixed, she put on the gift he'd given her: a short dress made from gold and white dragon scales that he'd picked up on a job at some point in the past.
She paired it with knee-high white boots and a short, white cape with a brooch that had the all-important Wizard Saints seal on it. Saint Wizards were required to have the easily-recognized emblem visible somewhere on their person at all times, no exceptions.
The party wasn't a formal affair; since it was attended primarily by other wizards, they typically wore whatever they wore whenever they met new clients or were travelling.
Layla walked there with Petri, mostly in silence.
"I'm not trying to be mean," she blurted out.
"Everything is fine."
"Is it?"
"Why wouldn't it be?"
She said, "Because I'm selfish. Everyone knows I am. I left my husband because I didn't like the life we had. He didn't want me to leave. I left him and I divorced him so I could have the life I want."
Petri stopped and looked at her for a while, unable to hide exactly how annoyed he was at her unguarded utterance. "You did what you felt like you had to do. You didn't do anything wrong, right? C'mon. You down want to be late for your own party, right? I mean, if you want to be fashionably late, it could be for a better reason."
He wiggled his eyebrows, and she rolled her eyes. "Go away, boy."
Petri dug into his pocket and pulled out a condom. "C'mon. It would be safe. How can you say no to safe sex? There's no reason for it. It'll be exciting. There's a dark alley right over there."
"What is wrong with you? And sex in an alley in the dark?"
"Have you done anything adventurous lately?"
Layla said, "I blew up a mountain twenty-seven days ago."
"C'mon…let's do it. Ten minutes. You'll be ten minutes late and everyone will be waiting for you, just like you want."
She really had planned on being on time, but with little convincing, she found herself pinned against the wall in the alley indulging him.
When they finished, she leaned on him, panting, while he carefully disposed of the evidence.
"We can't just do that. We're in public. Outside. In a busy city," she huffed.
Petri said, "We're fine. Nobody saw us. If they did, who cares? We're young, we like each other. This is what people do when they love each other."
"They do in filthy alleys?"
"And everywhere else."
She carefully put herself back in order. "Maybe you are a weirdo whore boy."
"You just had an orgasm ten feet from a dumpster on your way to become a saint wizard. Don't judge me. Besides, I only let Mavis call me that and only because I can't find a way to make her stop."
They made it to the banquet hall, ten minutes late exactly, and Layla took her place at a long table with the other saints between Natsu and Rogue.
From there, it was primarily schmoozing and official business; Layla met nearly every guildmaster she didn't already know from nearly every major guild. There were tons of wizards at the S-Class level present, Magic Council officials, high ranking members of the Magic Knights, and were even visited briefly by the King and Queen.
Lucy and Laxus made a point not to crowd her as her parents. They drank champagne, watched the festivities, placed bets on when and if the event was going to end in a fight and who would start it, and used the occasion to talk with other guildmasters.
Halfway through the evening, Lyon Bastia, saint wizard and guildmaster of Lamia Scale, leaned over and talked quietly with Layla, having placed a bet on the hour and aggressor as her. These were long odds, but Lucy watched Layla's expression change dramatically.
"What's he telling her?" Lucy asked.
Laxus said, "Probably about how Rufus voted against her and said her divorce was a sign of a character flaw."
"Oh. He's stealing our money by making her fight."
"Yes. That's what's happening."
Lucy decided to chug down the rest of her drink. "Remember out first date? Things got rowdy and we went up on that big hill and drank champagne until three in the morning. It was very romantic."
"I'm thinking that might be our best plan."
Lucy saw Mavis grab a drink from a tray and took it from her. "No booze for the meanest drunk I've ever known."
Mavis scowled but didn't argue as she didn't have the stomach to defy her parents. The things they did to keep her in line as parents to an adult were actually worth a little fear.
They waited for a fight to break out, but nothing happened. Layla finished her dinner, her champagne, and seemed to be in a great mood, as if the news Rufus had trashed her in front of the other saints wasn't really something to be worried about.
For a while, the other saints viewed this as a sign she was far more mature than anyone had hoped. Even her parents were delightfully surprised, as they knew well how spiteful their daughter could be.
On their third glass of champagne, Lucy raised her glass. "Cheers, our daughter has finally stopped being petty and terrible."
The party ended with no violence, and it seemed like everything had gone splendidly.
After nearly everyone was gone including Laxus and Lucy, Rufus was lounging comfortably in the corner with the other saints, having interpreted the evening as a sign there was no turbulence ahead.
Then, he felt the strangest sensation and heard the unmistakable sound of scissors closing on hair, a slight pulling sensation, and the lightening of his head.
Layla, standing right in front of all the other saints, cut his waist-length golden hair off next to his scalp and held it in her fist. "Oops."
Rufus raised a hand to the back of his head. "What…how…you can't…"
"I did."
Jura watched this all transpire and as the top wizard saint, grimaced. "Layla, if you act against your fellow saints, you can lose your seat. We have rules against the saints fighting in a serious manner. If two saints want to scrap or act out a rivalry, that's permissible, but unwarranted acts against one another are strictly against the rules."
"I read the rules. An act against another saint is only punishable if the perpetrator uses overt violence or magic."
Jura sighed, "…and you did neither. I suddenly have a regret…"
Rufus couldn't retaliate by starting a fight or using magic because that would be against the rules and if he broke them, he'd be the one at risk. Plus, she would fight him. His options were to do nothing and soak up the humiliation without reprieve or give her the legal right to both fight him and challenge his status.
Layla leaned down to eye level as he sat, "What? You're just going to let a little girl like me cut your pretty hair? Not gonna stand up for yourself? Maybe you can go home and cry yourself to sleep while you entertain your sad little fantasies about being some brilliant mastermind. What I need you to understand, is that if you ever open your mouth and say anything about me or anyone in my guild that I find unpleasant, I will devour you alive and make a throne for myself out of your bones. Figuratively speaking, of course since it would be against the rules for me to threaten you with real violence and you look like you'd probably taste like gristle and disappointment."
Jura watched in exasperation, but he didn't say anything because he knew it would be a waste of breath. The blonde knew exactly how to skirt the rules and was bold enough she had no problems whatsoever with saying what she wanted to say in front of everyone.
The others did nothing to defend Rufus because whether it was appropriate or nice, Rufus had invited this upon himself by dragging out all her dirty laundry like it was really disqualifying. Layla returned the gesture by humiliating him and leaving him powerless in front of the exact same group of people.
Lyon said, "Well, I think this party is officially over."
"Yes, obviously," Rogue answered.
Natsu shrugged.
Layla replied, "I don't really stay up this late. I'll start getting cranky if I stay out longer."
Bob, the oldest of the wizard saints and the last living member of Makarov's group of friends, laughed. "My oh my. Maky would be so proud of you, Layla."
This was perplexing to several of the others because they were confronted with the fact that their newest member threatened to eat someone while in a good mood and that her great grandfather would have somehow been proud about what had transpired.
Layla beamed. "Thanks, that means a lot. I just want to make him proud."
Ichiya said, "A satisfying parfume indeed."
"I'm going to head back. Thanks for the great night, everyone. Except you, Rufus. I hope your night sucks," she cheerfully said.
She left them with questions:
Where had she gotten scissors in the middle of the party, why did she think up such a diabolical plot, and how had she actually had the nerve to do it in front of all of them?
She practically skipped away, heading back to her room.
The next morning, Laxus and Lucy went out for breakfast with their youngest son, and after leaving him back with Lisanna, made sure they had everything together to set off for their vacation.
They had a few hours to blow, so they went to the market together and wandered the different shops and carts.
When they came to a bookstore, Lucy went in and dragged him behind her. "Maybe we should do a little shopping for Anna before we go."
"I'm okay with being nice to our kids sometimes."
"I think Anna and Iggy may actually have a terrible sex life. Think about. They did it one time for thirty seconds and ended up parents to twins. Having little babies doesn't exactly lend itself to having an energetic and creative time in bed. I've been trying to think about different ways to help them out, like talking to Iggy."
Laxus said, "I basically don't want to have any knowledge of this or to be involved in any sort of way, but I don't think any grown man wants his mother-in-law telling him he's bad in bed."
"Obviously! And it takes two to tango terribly."
She dragged him to a shelf in the back of the store. "So I'm thinking we could get them some reading materials and drop them off anonymously at the door. Like this one: Twenty Techniques to Spice up your Life."
Laxus shrugged. "I'm going to go look at magazines. You meddle in all this by yourself."
While he was flipping through magazines in front of a window, he saw camera flashes and looked up to see his daughter posing for the local paparazzi. At first, he just sighed and looked back down, but then his head jerked up because Layla had a thick ponytail that all the way down her back.
When he went outside to see her, she crossed the street and pulled him back into the bookstore.
"Suddenly, you have hair. Is this a new look for you?"
Layla seemed unusually cheerful despite the fact it was before ten in the morning. "I think it is. It suits me, don't you think? I've named it my Loreytail. I took it from Rufus last night."
"What do you mean you took his hair?"
"I cut if off his head and I took it with me."
"And now you're wearing it."
Layla said, "I cut his hair off, and now I'm wearing it to my first meeting with the rest of the ten so he can watch me use his hair to make myself more fabulous."
Laxus gave her a pat on the head. "I see. You're not just petty. You're pathologically petty now."
"Whatever. A very pretty boy is waiting to eat cake for breakfast with me. Then I have a meeting, and after that, an afternoon of shopping and foot rubs. If I'm sick, I don't want to get better. Have fun on your vacation, Dad."
She turned and whipped her hair hard enough it almost hit him, and then wandered back to where her mother was.
Laxus continued to flip through magazines but looked up briefly to see a young dad with a little girl wandering the children's books. Sometimes, he missed having smaller children, but it was also strangely delightful to watch his older kids grab life by the horns and deal with it according to their own version of reality.
Once Layla left, Lucy returned to him with a basket full of books.
"We're good parents, right?"
"I feel like the fact we keep asking ourselves that question probably says otherwise. But maybe we need to make another trip," he answered.
"You're right. We have to save Baby Orga's life."
They finished their errands, and when they got back to the hotel before leaving, they left a brown paper bag with the books outside Iggy and Anna's room, and then headed to the room Mavis and Orga were sharing somewhat unsuccessfully.
Mavis opened the door, half-asleep and groggy looking.
Her dad held out a fish with two goldfish in it. "We came to bring you this."
Mavis sighed. "I don't feel like dealing with this right now."
"We just want to hang out a little before we go," her mother said.
Upon entering the room, they found tape down the middle of the floor.
"What's this?" Lucy asked.
Mavis answered, "That's an invisible wall built from concentrated wrath. If Baby Orga crosses it, he'll die."
Baby Orga waved from the couch he'd been banished too. "Good morning, Master and Miss Lucy."
Mavis said, "Look, idiot, my parents brought us more fish for you to kill."
"Thanks, we appreciate it," he answered, seeming like his usually happy self even though Mavis apparently wanted to fight him.
Lucy said, "We have been talking about you guys and we think that maybe Mavis is acting like monster because she is growing one inside of her."
"You better be talking about a tapeworm. I like raw meat a lot," Mavis grumbled.
Lucy held out a pregnancy test. "C'mon."
Baby Orga peeked over the couch a little fearfully. "Should I-"
Laxus said, "Nope. Stay over there where you are allowed to breathe. Mavis only listens to one person when she's pissed and that's her mother."
Lucy wrapped an arm around her daughter and took her to the bathroom, where she closed the door. "Okay, you're acting like a crazy person, Mavis."
Mavis said, "Whatever. If you had to live with a gross, sweaty man who leaves his disgusting stinky shoes everywhere you'd be pissed off too."
"Newsflash: I do. Your dad spends his days trying to make me mad because it amuses him. You like Baby Orga. That's why you moved in with him."
After she opened the box, she handed the stick to Mavis. "Pee on this."
"I don't need to do it right now. You can just go away and get out of my face with that."
Lucy turned on the water. "Really? Just listen to all that water rushing…"
"Fine! I don't understand why everyone is picking on me."
Her mother said, "No one is picking on you. I don't even think Baby Orga is trying to fight you."
Mavis peed on the stick. "Stop watching me pee, it's gross."
"I'm your mother. It hasn't been that long that you were potty training and needed me to watch you pee and then cheer, clap, and reward you for doing it in the right place. And, you need to drink more water."
After Mavis washed her hands, Lucy sat on the edge of the tub with the stick and her daughter said, "This is so dumb."
"Just on the outside chance I actually know what I'm talking about, how are you going to feel if you are pregnant?"
Mavis sat down on the floor and considered it. "I actually don't know. I don't want to be."
"You'd be a good little mom."
"With Baby Orga?"
"Of course. He's a nice guy."
"Not really. He's disgusting. The only thing he has going for him is that he's really loyal and always tries to take care of me and treats me like I'm really an important person to him."
"See? He's good. It's not so bad. Iggy and Anna live on their own, but you guys are with Orga, so I'm sure he'll help you out with the baby. And us too. Working women have babies all the time and you have plenty of help. You just take a year off, pop out a kid. You'll have a very fulfilling life and you don't have to miss out on anything."
Mavis said, "That's a very nice fantasy, Mom. How about we visit reality, where messing my body up for an entire year, falling behind on training, and having more responsibilities drags me down like a ton of bricks?"
"Well, you were once a brick. I mean, you still are. Your dad and I honestly just want to go lay on a beach and we have to deal with this so you don't kill Baby Orga while we're gone. But, you're a good brick, and I love you, and I'm glad you exist. If it's time for you to have you own little brick, it's going to be okay."
Outside the bathroom, Laxus made himself coffee in the miniature coffee pot, and looked over at Baby Orga periodically as he peeked over the back of the couch with an expression of unveiled fear.
"Coffee? I can bring it to the side of the room where you're allowed to exist," he offered.
"That would be nice."
Laxus brought him a cup and said, "I've always been incredibly curious about how you and Mavis work as a couple. Now I know you're incredibly dysfunctional and strange. I'm not sure how I feel about you as parents."
"I'm not really ready for this."
"Obviously. I'm just thinking about all the things you both do that are weird. Mavis only eats meat and sweets. You're just…bizarre. You dance when there's no music, you're always happy about nothing, you seem to like getting roughed up. She's aggressive, and plots and schemes and makes up terrible nicknames for people. You're both weird. You're a weird couple. You probably made a weird baby. It's probably going to come out with green hair and then never want to wear a shirt."
There was an unholy dragon screech from the bathroom, and Laxus sat down to enjoy his coffee as his daughter came flying out of the bathroom screaming every expletive he'd ever heard and some he was sure she'd made up.
She grabbed a lamp and threw it.
Then a coffee table, both nightstands, and anything else she could get her hands on until her side of the room was empty except for the bed and his was filled with broken furniture.
Lucy just stood next to the bathroom door and shook her head, making a few pleas for Mavis to calm down.
Mavis said, "You stupid dumb idiot…"
"Are you pregnant?" Baby Orga asked.
"No, I was trying to kill you because it was good news," she growled.
Baby Orga raised his head fully above the back of the sofa. "You're pregnant?"
"Yes, idiot. I already said that!"
"We're going to have a baby?"
Mavis said, "That's usually what happens at the end, right?"
Laxus finally said, "Calm down, Mavis. Obviously, you don't feel well and the hormones have you out of your mind crazy for some reason, but this really just part of life. You'll be just fine."
She turned to him and yelled, "I heard you talking about how I'm going to have a weird baby, you big jerk! If my baby is a weirdo, he got it from you. You suck right now."
Lucy glared at her husband while Mavis broke down into tears again. "Mavi, how about you let Baby Orga hold you for a little while until you feel better, and then you can have a nice, long talk, okay?"
"Fine. Can I kill him after?"
"No. You may not. Baby Orga is the father of your baby and he's the kind of guy that's going to be really cool and help you a lot because he really loves you, right?" she said, looking over at Baby Orga, who nodded.
The young wizard cautiously tiptoed to the masking tape and put one foot over, cautiously.
Mavis said, "Stop being so dramatic. You're acting like I'm some irrational monster."
"I'd never think that about you. You're wonderful," he said.
Mavis punched him in the stomach and went back to the bed, which was the only thing she hadn't hurled across the room. "I'm going back to sleep. I would like for everyone to get out now. I don't feel good and I'm not happy and I'm so tired. I want to puke and commit murder, maybe at the same time."
"We love you. Hope you feel better. The first trimester is the worst, you know. The second is easy," Lucy said.
"That's when I'll start getting fat, right?"
"Baby isn't fat."
"I've seen babies before. They are made up almost entirely of fat," Mavis complained.
Lucy tucked her in. "Okay, you just go to sleep. When you wake up, get something to eat, drink some water, have a nice talk with your man. Maybe head on home. You're all right."
Once Lucy and Laxus left, Lucy closed the door and whispered, "Yikes."
"Yikes indeed," he answered.
"They'll be fine."
"Maybe we should stay back," Laxus said.
Lucy grabbed him by the arm. "Things like this are the reason we abandoned our little son and decided to take a kid-less vacation. They're nothing but trouble. Besides, Mavis is a bratty little baby and she can't rely on us to help her. It's Baby Orga's job to take care of all this, and if we stick around, it'll be bad for them. Trust me."
"You really just want to get away from them."
"Yes. Far away. Let our kids figure their own lives out. Honestly, neither of us had parents around and we figured stuff out on our own. It was harder and sometimes really frustrating and difficult or sad but…ugh, let's just go."
They made it halfway down the hall and she added, "It's not even all the kids. It's the girls. The girls are awful. Lex is my sweet little prince. And Yuri is my big sweet prince."
Laxus felt like the boys took after him and the colorful personalities in between mostly took after their mother. If Layla and Mavis were prone to unpredictable moods, or Anna cried about everything, it was only because they were Lucy's daughters. In their family, there had never been any talk about what was ladylike or expected and they'd been given free reign to be whatever they were: little Lucy's, in slightly different flavors.
Of course, he'd never say this.
He wrapped an arm around her and kissed her cheek. "You're pretty hot for a mom."
"Grandma! Twice over. Soon to be three times."
They got their bags from their room, and on their way down, Lucy punched him in the arm.
"What?"
"Why did you say Mavis was going to have a weird baby?"
"Think about it."
Lucy rolled her eyes. "No one cares what you think. Don't trash talk our grandbabies. Mavis obviously doesn't feel that great about what's going on and if you think about it, this is a far worse situation for her feelings versus Anna. Anna was already a nurturer. Not every girl feels like that."
"Shouldn't that be natural?"
"Don't be sexist."
As they were leaving, they happened to pass by Petri, who was walking in by himself.
"You want some help carrying your bags to the train?" he asked.
Lucy threw the one bag she was carrying into his arms. "You're a nice guy."
"Anything for you."
Laxus said, "Hey, you're a young person. An old young person, but I guess not too old."
"Okay. I don't really know what that means."
"Do you know what BDE is? None of my children will tell me and when I asked some random punks, they laughed and walked off."
"Well, of course. But Master, where did you even hear that?"
"It was in Layla's journal."
Petri paled and said, "Well, now that I think about it, I don't know either. Maybe I'm just a little too old for whatever the young people are talking about."
Laxus replied, "It sounds like a venereal disease."
"Not exactly. This conversation is just going really bad and I think we should just hurry on to the train so you're not late," the young man answered.
"Do you have a venereal disease?"
Petri said, "I do not."
Lucy punched her husband on the arm. "Laxus! Stop it! I will tell you what it means on the train. Just stop being like this, and let's go."
"Why do you keep hitting me? And then you act like it's so strange one of our children just trashed a hotel room and almost burned her boyfriend to death with her rage," he complained.
"Fine. I'll stop hitting when you when you stop being a cranky old man wandering around asking people if they have STDs."
Laxus transferred all his bags to Petri, picked his wife up, and slung her over one shoulder.
Lucy gasped, rear in the air. "You put me down right now!"
"In your dreams. Violent, crybaby brat. And no, I'm not naming our daughters, that's all you."
"You have some nerve!"
The couple bickered non-stop on the way to the train station, until their luggage was loaded and he put her down so she could sit in her seat.
Lucy gave him the worst glare she could.
Her husband gave her a devilish smile. "You're so cute when you're mad."
"Get out of my face."
Instead, he kissed her cheek.
"I mean it!"
He kissed her again.
"That's fine, you just keep being a big idiot. When this train starts moving, I get to do whatever I want to you and you're going to be a helpless fool. If you repent and turn from your idiocy, I might hold the puke bag for you, dragon boy."
Laxus laid his head in her lap. "I love you so much."
"I love you too. You could piss me off less."
"Or more. That's an option, right?"
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