Over lunch, everyone was talking about what had happened. Poe heard snatches of conversation about what people thought they'd seen, or what they'd heard someone else had seen. He thought he heard a plebe swearing they'd seen a lightsaber, but as he craned his neck to see who'd made such an absurd claim, the words went back to whispers at the plebe tables. Poe sat with his squad, who didn't say much at all, only kept sneaking looks now and then. Ket was the one who finally broke down.

"Did you know your boyfriend's a Jedi?"

Poe shrugged. "He's not really a Jedi, but yeah. Coolest thing I've seen in weeks." There were a few mutters of agreement, but not all of them.

He heard someone say in a low voice, "They steal children." Someone else told them to hush. Around him, he caught other whispers. Luke Skywalker's name went through the mess like a lucky charm passed from hand to hand.

Poe was pulled out of his next class and told to report to the Commandant's office immediately. He jogged over, his pack bumping him. A moment of nerves shot through him at the order, but the students who were sent to the Commandant for high level discipline requiring suspension or expulsion were usually escorted there by MPs, He was alone. When he arrived, he was sent to a small meeting room he'd never seen before and told to wait.

"Immediately" hadn't been necessary in his opinion. He sat for long enough that he could have finished class and the one after. After the first hour, and figuring no one would care, he typed a quick message to Jacen: "Weird day, huh?" He didn't expect a reply, and didn't receive one. He passed the time going over study notes on his terminal until at the end of two hours, an admin came into the room with a drink of water and a snack, which he left for Poe without a single word.

He inspected the small cake he'd been given. Was this a test? Were they feeding him because they intended to keep him all evening? He left the cake untouched and drank the water, then started his homework.

At last, Poe was called in to see the Commandant. He focused on his posture, on maintaining the best discipline he could muster up as he stepped into the office. The admin who'd brought him closed the door behind him. He'd never met Commandant Graeff, only seen him at a distance during opening and closing ceremonies. Up close, he looked less like a decorated military hero and more like a mildly put-upon manager, who was currently focused on reading something he didn't like on his terminal.

"Cadet Dameron?"

"Yes, sir?"

"Sit down." He gestured to the chair in front of his desk, then typed something into his terminal with a sigh. He turned to Poe with a kind smile. "I apologize for removing you from class today. A lot of things happened at once, and by the time we understood you wouldn't be called in until later, it was less disruptive to the other cadets to keep you here. You will of course be excused from missing your classes."

"Thank you, sir. I'd be happy to get the notes."

Graeff gave him a look that told Poe he could have stopped after the first sentence, and also that he was very used to dealing with cocky young pilots.

"Cadet, the first thing I need to tell you is that your actions today showed quick thinking and solid leadership. If you hadn't taken command of the situation in the hangar when you did, it's likely many students would have been hurt or killed. A commendation has been placed on your record, and you have my personal thanks."

Cadets weren't supposed to smile widely when spoken to by their superior officers, but nothing could stop the grin spreading over Poe's face now. "Thank you, sir." He almost started in on a further explanation, downplaying his own role, since after all, everyone who'd been there saw first-hand who'd been the one to prevent the accident. But he was learning.

A commendation! He couldn't wait to tell his dad, who could brag to his friends about his hero son. He'd have to play cool around his squad, though. Ket would find a reason to tease him if he got a big head over this.

"I also want you to know that nothing you say in this conversation will rescind your commendation, and that you will not get into any kind of trouble. You can spit in my eye and call me a son of a bantha right now, and while I may remember that when it comes time to hand out assignments after graduation, it won't impact your career at the Academy. Do you understand?"

Poe went to agree, then shook his head. "I don't, sir. Sorry, sir. I appreciate that I'm not in trouble, but I don't understand why I would be."

"I'm going to ask you some questions. You should answer them as honestly as you can. Nothing you tell me will harm you, and your privacy will be respected as much as I can see to it. You are not considered at fault in any way."

Fault? "Did someone get hurt, sir? I thought the pilot looked okay when they took him out. So did Instructor Pars."

"They both suffered minor injuries from the crash, nothing to be concerned over. As far as we know yet, no one else was injured."

"That's good news," Poe said. Then he thought, what the hell. "It was pretty brutal, sir. We were all lucky Cadet Syndulla was there, or the whole hangar would have gone up."

"So various witnesses have told me. You know the cadet quite well, of course. I've been informed the two of you are in a romantic relationship."

Poe nodded. It wasn't against the rules. They'd checked often enough. "Yes, sir."

"When did that begin?"

"Sir?"

Graeff sighed again. "Cadet Dameron, as I said, I would like you to answer my questions honestly. I will be as discreet as I can with the information. When did your relationship with Cadet Syndulla begin?"

He thought back. "We've been seeing each other for about six months. We were friends before then, if someone you've been talking to says otherwise, sir."

"I understand. How long were the two of you friends prior to that?"

Poe folded his arms. He didn't want to discuss his love life with the head of the Academy. "We met when I was five years old. So, fourteen years, give or take?"

"And you can tell me honestly that you weren't involved with each other when you were a first year cadet?"

"Yes, sir. I asked him out last year. He turned me down and pointed to the handbook. Plebes aren't permitted to date upperclassmen."

Graeff made a note. "Almost fifteen years ago. Was that at the picnic on Qili?"

Poe had forgotten the name of the planet until he'd said it. "Yes. There was a get-together for a lot of the former Rebellion. Our parents served together during the war."

"I know. I was there. I'm sorry to say I never had the honor of meeting your mother. My squadron never interacted with hers. I only met General Syndulla twice. Between you and me, I am not looking forward to the third time."

"You were with the Rebellion, sir?"

"You'll find many of us among the staff here were with the Alliance. And yes, many others were with the Empire. We've all tried to put the war behind us. We're training you to defend the peace."

Poe felt he was expected to say something, and went with, "Yes, sir."

"The other witnesses I spoke to said you referred to Cadet Syndulla as a Jedi. Were you aware before today that he had Force powers?"

"Yes, sir. Since the picnic." Graeff nodded at him and indicated he should continue. "All the children played together, and Luke Skywalker was there with us for a while. He was one of Mom's friends, just some nice guy who made time to show neat tricks to the little kids whose parents were busy talking about the good old days. He asked Jacen to help him with some of the tricks. He must have thought it would be fun for us to watch a kid doing the same things as a Jedi. We all got bored after a while and went swimming."

Graeff looked thoughtful for a long moment. Poe wondered if he was remembering his own experiences from that day. He couldn't remember if the adults had gone skinny-dipping too, and now was not a good time to ask.

"Have you seen Cadet Syndulla use his powers at other times since you've been here at the Academy?"

"Once or twice," he said, and tamped down on the memories of the fun uses they'd put his powers to in bed. That was no one else's business. "He's not a Jedi. I only said that to get the other cadets moving."

"Not all users of the Force are Jedi. Darth Vader used the Force. I served with Commander Skywalker briefly during the war. I didn't see him use his powers that I recall. Some of our former Imperials had the displeasure of seeing Vader use his. A few of the older staff members were alive during the time of the Republic. We'd heard about Jedi, but I don't know anyone who met one back then. A few of us knew Commander Skywalker, but the word is a myth to most people, and was as good as a myth even when there were thousands."

Poe didn't comment.

Graeff watched him. "What do you know about Jedi?"

"They have lightsabers. They use the Force." He thought back to his mother's funny stories about Luke. "They tell awful jokes."

"They read minds," said Graeff. "They can use the Force to control the minds of others."

Poe remembered how hard he'd giggled watching Luke Skywalker levitate his own droid. He tried not to think about the latest trick Jacen had come up with that had left Poe boneless and happy and sore in the best way. "If you say so, sir."

"I do say so. It was part of the propaganda that the Empire published after the Jedi were all killed to justify the purge. The Order stole young children from their parents. A Jedi could peer into your very thoughts and change them. That's why they were dangerous. The Empire wrote their own history books, and told their side of the story, and there were officially no survivors left to challenge that narrative."

"That sounds like Imperial propaganda all right."

"The story worked because it had a grain of truth. The same stories had already been circulating for years. The Jedi did collect young children to train them in the use of their powers. They could use the Force to compel someone to do something. Everyone knows that. Another thing everyone knows about the Jedi: they don't marry. Do you know why?"

"Can't say I care much, sir."

Graeff's face went gravely serious. "Cadet, do you understand the reason the Academy forbids first years to date upperclass cadets?"

Annoyance came first, and a terse reply that they were too interested in who people slept with, but as he went to say those words, he knew the real answer. "Upperclass cadets have too much power over plebes. They might talk them into something the plebes don't really want."

"And someone who has the ability to manipulate minds has too much power to be trusted when seeking out a mate. They'd never know if it was love, or if it was coercion, even unintentional coercion from a mind too powerful to know the reach of its own desires. The rule was not created to protect the Jedi or to control them, just as the Academy's rule isn't there to control our older students. The rules were designed to protect others from them. Even with those rules firmly in place and the Order ready to enforce them, Commander Skywalker and Senator Organa were born to a Jedi and his secret wife. Back in the day, there was some gossip about Cadet Syndulla's origins. Most stories agreed his father was a Jedi, though no one I knew was brave enough to ask his mother to confirm that rumor."

Poe had known all this for ages. It wasn't a big deal. Jacen said he'd never met the guy; he'd been killed on a mission before Jacen was even born. "Why does that matter, sir?"

"It's not my job to determine if there was any kind of mental manipulation involved twenty or forty years ago."

Poe finally understood why he'd been called in, why the Commandant had said he would be discreet as he reassured Poe he wasn't at fault, why his demeanor was so kind.

"Jacen didn't coerce me into anything. He didn't mind control me. And as you've stated that I won't get tossed out for saying this, kriff you for even thinking it."

The Commandant didn't bat an eye. "I understand what you're saying, Cadet. However, I would like you to think ahead to your own career. Think about yourself someday sitting in my chair speaking to a young person who is entrusted to your care. I would like to ask you, the cadet you are now and the commanding officer you could be down the line: how do you know for sure?"

"Because I know."

"I hope for your own sake that you're right. If you change your opinion on the matter later, or if you simply want to talk with someone, the Academy has counselors on staff who are available at any time and who will remain strictly confidential with anything you tell them. They've been well-trained in helping our cadets work through the aftermath of traumatic events."

Poe said nothing. He waited for this to be over.

"It's not required for applicants to the Academy to disclose Force sensitivity. We would however prefer potential cadets to disclose voluntarily. Cadet Syndulla chose not to do so, despite knowing about his own powers and his ability to use them. This has opened a can of hak-worms which it's my unpleasant duty to sort through. Do you know of any other cadets he was involved with before you?"

Poe shook his head. "Before we started to see each other, he had a girlfriend, but she doesn't attend the Academy."

"Anyone else?"

"I really couldn't say, sir."

"Do you know if the cadet has used his abilities during his classes?"

"I don't understand."

"A cadet who can read the instructor's mind would have a heavy advantage during an exam, or could compel the instructor to change his grade. There's also the risk of possible memory-tampering."

"Commandant, if Jacen could mind-trick people into doing things, the first thing he'd have done was stopped Dolu from stacking those fuel cannisters in the landing bay. Dolu's the one you should be investigating. He almost got us all killed."

The Commandant checked his terminal. "Yes, I have noted that Cadet Syndulla ignored his instructor's authority on a number of occasions. They've had several verbal altercations. Cadet Syndulla has even been reported for moving Instructor Dolu's equipment away from where he intended it to be. Was that the case today? Did he put those cannisters there?"

"What? No. He was always moving them away from the landing bay."

"Which he did against the orders of an experienced superior." Poe was livid, and Graeff held up his hand. "And I have already said this on the record earlier today, that was Instructor Dolu's failing. Readiness drills are important, and so is ensuring the safety of your troops."

"Thank you," Poe said, settling back into his chair. "And no, he can't read minds."

"How do you know that? Did he tell you?"

"Yes, sir. Ben can, but Jacen can't."

Graeff made a note on his terminal. "Is Ben another cadet with the Force?"

He should have seen it when he walked in. He should have known. He hadn't been called in to get a commendation. He wasn't here to say his own piece, or to defend his boyfriend. Everything he said was being used to build a case the administration had already decided the outcome of. There wasn't anything Poe could do about it except deflect the worst of the damage.

"No, sir."

Graeff looked at him. "I suspect you're talking about Senator Organa's son. I was reviewing his application for early admission, though in light of today's events, I feel we will not be accepting him at this time."

"Sir."

"Cadet Dameron, this isn't a witch hunt. We are only interested in protecting the well-being of our students and staff members."

"Then maybe start by saying thank you to someone who saved fifty of them today."

"We did, Cadet. It's on your record."

"Is Cadet Syndulla getting a commendation?" He already knew the answer.

"Our investigation is still ongoing."

Classes were finished for the day, and he was already excused from evening PT. The mess hall was open, and almost empty as Poe picked up his meal, eating alone and quickly. The few other cadets weren't staring at him, but he suspected they were intentionally not staring at him. He swallowed the last of his dinner and left for the dormitory. He wanted to get home and talk to Jacen. This was a disaster, but Poe was sure if they could just talk everything over together, they could figure out a way to fix things.

He thumbed the entry to their room open.

All of the possessions he'd brought over during the last few months were stacked neatly against one wall. The posters he'd hung were off the walls and set aside with his belongings. Everything else in the room was packed.

Jacen looked at him as he walked in, then turned back to his bag, which he closed with a loud snap. He was out of uniform, wearing civilian clothes Poe had never seen before.

Today had already battered Poe with whiplashed emotions. The feelings hitting him now stole the strength from his knees. He rested against the door frame. "They can't expel you for this. You saved people. They have to listen."

Jacen tapped the top of his bag with an idle finger. His face was redder than usual, a high pink color that could be anger or embarrassment or both. "I wasn't expelled. I resigned my commission."

"If they made you quit, that's the same thing."

"They didn't make me. I looked at my options and this was the best one. A lot of cadets wash out for academic or personal reasons. It's only a dishonorable discharge if they kick you out for disciplinary violations. They haven't decided yet if I'm a walking disciplinary violation. If I resign now, I won't set a precedent for how they deal with the next cadet who comes along with Force powers."

"Ben Solo was going to be the next one. Graeff said he applied for early admission."

Jacen sighed. "Speaking of walking discipline problems."

"They're not accepting him."

Jacen's eyes widened in surprise. "Commandant Graeff is not supposed to tell you that, and you shouldn't tell me. What else did you talk to him about?" He focused on his last bag, not looking at Poe now.

"Nothing important." His knees were back in service. He walked over and set a hand on Jacen's shoulder, feeling the jump of muscles pass through him at the touch. "Bunch of bantha dung about Jedi. Sorry about that earlier. I shouldn't have said it."

"You needed to say something that would get those plebes out of the way. I didn't have enough control over my powers to hold the ship and even think about talking at the same time. You made the right call. Thanks." He rested his hand on top of Poe's. His skin was usually warm, a degree or so warmer than a typical human's, but right now, he was cold as snow from nerves. Poe turned and took his hands, warming them.

"Don't go. We can explain to the Commandant that you haven't used your powers for anything. You can ask Luke Skywalker to talk to him. They'll listen to him. Everyone who knows you understands you didn't do anything wrong." If Jacen left now, the rest of the cadets would assume he was guilty of everything they were whispering about now. Poe's dinner curdled in his stomach at the thought.

"I did do things wrong. I mouthed off when I should have stayed quiet. I blew off homework to go flying, but I did well enough on my exams to keep my grades up, which was fine yesterday and looks suspicious today. I didn't do what they think I did but they don't have any reason to believe me, and I'm not bringing Luke into this. Did Graeff ask if I mind-tricked you? It's all right if he asked. I just want to know what I'm being accused of."

"He suggested it and I told him to go kriff himself. He also suggested your father mind-tricked your mom, and I would love to be in the room when he says that to her. I've never seen anyone break every bone in someone's body before. It would be interesting to watch in real time."

"Too much trouble. Mom would just shoot out his knees then stomp on everything she finds between them."

They shared that mental image and both winced. "Come to think of it, I don't want to watch that."

"Me either. It's going to be enough trouble explaining all this to her when we rendezvous. I told her I quit. I haven't told her why yet. I managed to find a transport to get me to Lothal. She'll pick me up there the day after tomorrow, but I have to leave an hour from now if I don't want to miss my ride." He turned away again, grabbing another bag and throwing things into it.

"She couldn't meet you somewhere closer? Lothal's pretty far."

"I hope it's far enough. I didn't dare suggest anywhere closer. I'll have to talk her down from flying back here herself and giving the entire administration holy hell, and that's if I don't tell her what Graeff said about my dad because she will shoot him for that." Jacen shook his head, lost inside his head for a moment. "Mom will go to war for me. I have to give us both enough time for her to understand she can't."

"Don't. Go." Poe took his shoulders, and made him face him. "Stay here. Fight this."

Jacen shook his head then kissed Poe's forehead. Poe closed his eyes. "Not a fight I want. Even if they decide I didn't do anything wrong this time, now everyone knows. Every time I ace an exam, someone will say it's because I must have cheated. Every time I open my mouth, someone will assume I'm trying to mind-trick them. I can't spend the rest of my career worried that everyone around me is afraid of me."

"I'm not afraid of you."

"I know you're not. It's one of the reasons I like you." He paused for half a breath on the word "like" and Poe wished he hadn't, wished he'd said what he meant, but now was a lousy time to deal with even more feelings.

A mad plan burst into his head. "I'll come with you." All his important stuff was already packed. The fantasy flowed through his brain with painless ease. They would go off now and travel the galaxy together, working jobs and saving up for their own ship, no regs to worry about, just the two of them looking for adventure for the rest of their lives.

"You will not. You're better at this military stuff than I am. You pay attention. You care. You're going to be a fantastic officer, and the second-best pilot in the galaxy."

The fantasy faded. "Nah, I'm going to be the best."

"You're on," Jacen said with a hint of his old grin.

"You're going to holo me, right? If you're a civilian now, we don't have to worry about regs. We can see each other over break. I can come stay with you. You can come meet Dad. You can even come visit me here sometimes."

The grin faded. He took Poe's hands and sat down with him, and Poe knew his day was about to get even worse.

"The very last thing you need right now is to keep up a long distance relationship with someone half the Academy thinks mind-whammied you into sleeping with him."

Pique hit him unexpectedly. "Everyone else is making decisions for me in my best interests today. Don't you start."

"It's not just for you, if that makes you feel better. I told you I met up with Luke over summer break last year. He's making plans to set up some kind of school for training new Jedi. I'm going to get in touch with him about it."

"You said you didn't want to be a Jedi."

"I don't but I'm not sure what else I want to do except keep flying. In the meantime, I can learn more about controlling my powers. I'll go be a Jedi for a while until I work things out. And Jedi aren't allowed to date or fall in love. Everybody knows that."

"You and Luke and his sister all wouldn't have been born if they didn't."

"I know. I can't change the past, and I don't want to start my future by breaking all the rules at once." He kissed Poe, and Poe didn't respond at first, angry and miserable, until he finally melted under Jacen's insistent mouth.

"Please don't go." He said the words for a third time, like a charm, like a spell. His heart ached. "Please stay."

"I can't."

An hour wasn't enough time, not with packing to finish, not with a transport to catch, not with the gray cloud hanging over them both. The bed was already stripped of its sheets. Jacen had to travel in his clothes and couldn't risk spoiling them. The feel of Jacen's hand on him was too good now, even with his heavy heart, and Poe sighed into Jacen's mouth as he came, pressing the words into his lips that he didn't want to say out loud.

And it was over, all of it, Jacen taking his bags to the main landing bay, and Poe staying here to collect his own things and take them back to his room. Ket didn't say a word to him, but she helped him carry his clothes, and stuck one of the posters on the wall beside hers. One of her arms patted his shoulder.

Poe climbed into bed early. It had been a long, hard, stupid damn day. Oh, and he'd gotten a commendation.

In the morning, there was a delayed send message on his terminal.

"I'm sorry. I'm going to miss you so much. I" The message cut off with that last letter hanging.

He kept his head down for the rest of the school year, ignoring questions about what had happened as firmly as he ignored congratulations on his commendation. The one bright note was that Instructor Dolu was no longer teaching. The story Poe heard was that he'd been ordered to take early retirement. The other flight instructors shuffled their duties to finish out the term. Poe asked one of them for permission to take a ship out on his second to last free day for extra flight time, and was permitted a four hour window. The part of his heart that still ached thought flying wasn't as much fun on his own. The rest of him took a deep breath of freedom the moment he broke atmosphere. This was where he belonged, even if no one else was with him to enjoy it.

His break posting was on a carrier. Reconnaissance flights only, but he was out in his own ship twice each rotation. He made friends with a couple of the junior officers he met, keeping the relationships strictly friends-only. He knew the rules and so did they, but importantly, they weren't at the Academy now and hadn't heard any nonsense rumors about Jedi, and they didn't ask Poe a single thing about it.

Third year meant catching up on his remaining graduation requirements. He picked a class in Twi'lek literature to get his last lit requirement, not at all because he wanted an excuse to send messages to his ex, oh no. He didn't send them, though he wrote and saved them. He didn't know where the Jedi school was, if they'd even established it yet, and sending the things he really wanted to say via Jacen's mother was out of the question.

There was a gorgeous Pantoran first year in the class. About a month in, she asked Poe out, and he had to let her down as gently as he could. "The Academy handbook is very clear on the matter. Sorry."

"I won't be a plebe next year," she said with a wink.

"I guess you won't," he said with a wink back.

Every few months, he received a message with no name and no return signal.

"Ben's a sleemo. I miss you."

"This is more boring than Onorko's military history class. I miss you."

"I miss you." That was the last one.

By the beginning of his fourth year, he and Darius were back together. Poe kept the relationship more casual this time around. They both had their upcoming careers to think about. If they wound up stationed together, great. If they didn't, there was no need to make their lives difficult after graduation.

"You're thinking about him right now," Darius said as they rested together one night. "I can tell."

"I don't know what you're talking about."

"You get that look, like you're a million light years away. Have you heard from him lately?"

There was no point in pretending. "Not a word."

Darius pushed Poe's shoulder, rolling him over. "His loss." He kissed Poe, who smiled under the kiss.

Graduation came with high honors and left with his first real posting. The memories of his time at the Academy, which felt like they'd always be bright and present in his mind, faded slowly into a warm, yellowing nostalgia that papered over old mistakes, deified good friends, and anesthetized the old wounds from failed romances. Poe didn't return for his five year reunion, but he did send a gift to Darius and his new husband for their wedding around the same time.

Sometimes he heard stories that made him stop and smile. Jacen's extended family couldn't help themselves but get into interesting tangles that occasionally made the HoloNews. There were a few reports from time to time that the famous Luke Skywalker had set up a Jedi school, and anyone who had the ability to use the Force was welcome to come learn together with others like them. Poe scanned those stories. One or two mentioned Ben sometimes, though they more often mentioned his mother, until the other stories about Ben's mother took over the news and Poe stopped following the reports out of irritation. It didn't matter how someone was born. It mattered who they decided to be.

Because he'd been ignoring the news, he didn't immediately hear about the story that broke soon after, and when he did, part of him wished he hadn't. They said the Jedi school was obliterated. They said Luke Skywalker had vanished into a self-imposed exile out of grief. They said there were no other survivors.

Poe kept up a calm demeanor in front of his squadron. The past was the past. He hadn't seen Jacen in years. It didn't matter now. The people around him now had to be the most important people in his life. This was the life he'd chosen, too.

The next time he had access to a long-distance message terminal, he sent a short message of condolence to General Syndulla.

"Commander Dameron," said the voice waking him from the sleep he'd finally fallen into. Yesterday had been tough, and he was exhausted.

"Go away."

"Sir, you got a message this morning."

Poe didn't even open his eyes. "Can it wait?"

"I'm not sure. It was addressed directly to you, but there was no name attached."

Poe groaned and sat up. He took the datapad and read the message through bleary eyes.

"I'm not dead. I need to disappear for a while. Don't worry, and don't try to find me."

"Thank you," Poe said, handing back the datapad. "Dismissed." His head was back down even before the door closed.

Poe lay there, thinking, but he didn't have to think long. He had no doubt who'd sent the message. A long-forgotten thrill ran through his stomach. He flashed onto memories of kisses stolen when he should have been studying, and of the confounding fasteners on his old dress uniform as he'd struggled to get naked as fast as he could, and of two ships dancing through space side by side. He smiled against his pillow.

He never did have a perfect record for following orders.

end