With every piece of bread disappearing between their molars, their moods got better. Kili and Fili, who were sitting next to Beorn, tried to get to know the man and his race better. Bofur was very impressed by the animals, which served them. He tried to teach them some tricks, but they didn't listen to his voice. Across the table Dwalin and his brother had a conversation with Thorin, and once in a while the last one showed a smile which was almost optimistic.
Alyssae ate in silence. She thought about Bilbo who was forgotten by everyone so easily. Actually she was sitting on his seat. He should have been here, eating from this plate. If they hadn't tried to save Thorin, he would be around this table and maybe it was Thorin who would have slipped their minds.
She took a sip from the mug before her to wash off the sour taste. Of course that was only an illusion. Thorin was a leader – she didn't even know why – and he meant a lot to the dwarves. Probably the whole quest would have been cancelled if he had passed away.
She couldn't stop her melancholic thoughts, not even when one of the dwarves filled her mug with wine.
In the end it was Fili who noticed her sad looks. 'What's wrong?'
She shrugged. 'I was thinking about Bilbo. None of you seems to miss him.'
'Of course we do!' he reacted surprised. 'He was a good lad, but that doesn't take away our joy, since we are safe from the orcs, enjoying this wonderful meal.' He took another piece of bread from the basket. 'It's a miracle he is the only one.'
He glanced at the wounds around her collarbones.
Alyssae took another swig of wine, after which she felt a little better. Maybe this was all because these dwarves already had faced death so many times. Their people were murdered and they were spread across the lands. Elves live thousands of years and they never die of old age. Everyone treated death differently.
'I miss him,' she admitted. 'Even though I knew him such a little while.'
She couldn't explain her feelings to the dwarves, but she had felt a connection with the hobbit, for he didn't belong with the others either. Now she had refreshed herself, she had to face the facts again: she was an elf among dwarfs. Thorin would never accept her, not even when the others would. She didn't know where his deep hate for her race was coming from. In fact she knew nothing about him, except that he was the uncle of Fili and Kili and that he wanted to return to the mountain. She didn't even know what he believed to find there, other than a dragon and his former home that was reduced to ashes. Perhaps he could better go on with his life, instead of scratching open ancient wounds. However, she knew he would never accept these words from her. He would not accept anything from her.