After breakfast they all went their own way. Mithrandir told them he had to visit someone and that they had to listen to the advice of their host. Everyone had to stay between the walls of the house after sunset, but they all knew Beorn's animal state well enough to not feel any need to do else.
Some dwarves choosed to wait in the queue for the tub, but Kili and Fili went outside with Alyssae and decided to refresh themselves later today.
Alyssae glanced astonished around her after she had stepped out. She was on a stretched out meadow and animals were grazing everywhere. Enormous bees hummed around their heads and relaxed on countless brightly colored flowers.
'It is so peaceful here,' Alyssae sighed as she sat down on the edge of a well, together with the two boys. The quietness reminded her of home and only now she was able to let go of the fear that was holding her for such a long time.
Kili tickled a curious goat behind its ears, which came to see the new-comers, and Fili whistled a cheerful song. Now she understood what he tried to explain when he told her he wanted to enjoy the fact they were not hunted anymore.
However, Alyssae couldn't get rid of all her sorrows. She really liked the dwarves, but especially those two and she dreaded to say goodbye to them. They were so free and tried to be optimistic in every situation.
Alyssae knew a lot would change when she came home. She had to marry a man she barely knew and she woud have to do an education again, since it was her task to succeed her father. She wasn't ready for such a responsibility, although she knew it could last centuries before he would put the crown on her head. All this time she wouldn't get the permission to leave the community, certainly not to visit Erebor after a few years to see how they all ended up.
'You're quiet,' Kili noticed. 'You are worrying.'
It was astonishing how well you could get to know someone in a short, but exhausting period.
'I bet you will discuss my departure tonight.'
Kili burst into a laugh, so suddenly he almost fell in the well. Alyssae could grasp his arm just in time. She had no idea why he thought that was funny.
'Dear, don't worry about that. You're going nowhere.'
'How can you be so sure?' Alyssae asked confused.
'Because there is no one who would like to see you leave.'
She stared at her boots. 'Thorin is.'
'Nah, he's not,' Fili agreed. 'If he really wanted you to go, he certainly would have showed it.'
'Well, he surely did,' Alyssae mumbled. She was surprised his judgment hurt her so much. It had never been different and she had known it from the start.
'Really wanted,' Kili repeated the words of his brother. 'He acts like he hates you, but he thinks you're nicer than he dares to admit.'
She looked uncertainly at him, but the dwarf seemed beyond doubt.
'At least more useful than he admits,' Fili spoke again. 'You saved his life, you warned him for the orcs – even though he didn't listen to you – and you made Beorn accept us.'
'And when he is really so crazy to send you away – after all, you never know – we will join you and the three of us will travel to the Lonely Mountain!'
Alyssae laughed and put her arms around their shoulders, even though this movement hurt.
'You are great.'
She waved to Dori and Ori, who left the house –clean again. They dropped on the ground, with their backs against the stone wall of the well which was not occupied by legs. She had nice contact with Ori. He was a social dwarf, and he was a chip of the old block, Alyssae noticed, when his brother brought about a flute. She was directed away from the reality by the music the dwarf played, and barely noticed her hands that were going through Dori's hair very quickly, creating long braids.
Alyssae was used to elf music, but the free melodies which were played by the dwarfs were enchanting as well. She sighed softly when she let go of Dori's hair and she felt a warm feeling inside. Maybe she was part of the group after all. And maybe Thorin didn't hate her as much as he wanted her to belief. This thought caused a little flame in her chest. But the fire stopped burning when he came outside, watched them, stared at her for one moment and walked away, while shaking his head. Disappointed she looked away, but Fili put his hand on her knee.
'Don't blame yourself. Besides, he's not the only dwarf here, is he?'
Alyssae's cheeks colored red of shame, but she neither understood why one look of Thorin could freeze her whole body.
'I know,' she mumbled, but his friendly words didn't melt the ice cube in her stomach.