Chapter One: Paradise
Mary gazed at the contours of the rolling hills passing by the carriage, lost in her own thoughts. Every now and then quaint cottages or farmsteads would appear, nestled between the hills. After traveling for most of the day, it melded into a never-ending patchwork of greens and browns. France had been her home for so many years and she'd always loved the vibrant countryside but right now she longed for something different. Something new.
"Would you care for another blanket?"
Mary jolted out of her trance-like state and turned toward Francis while trying to keep her chin from trembling. She'd been immersed in her own thoughts and forgotten he was in the carriage with her. "I'm sorry. Did you say something?"
His eyes were weighed down with sadness. A look she'd become accustomed to in recent months. She guessed either her silence during the journey or her startled reaction when he spoke had caused the expression she dreaded seeing this time. It was an involuntary fear she still had sometimes when hearing a man speak or even breathe next to her. "I asked if you wanted another blanket," Francis attempted to mask his sad expression with a smile, but the edges of his eyes crinkled a bit like they always did when something troubled him. "The spring air still carries a little bit of a chill, and you were trembling."
Mary nodded and rubbed her arms, realizing she had been shivering without realizing. "That would be nice. Thank you." Francis had always been in tune to her needs, even now, in spite of the months of distance between them.
He carefully wrapped a light blanket around her shoulders and his arm brushed against the back of her neck, causing Mary to shudder involuntarily. He pulled it away and cleared his throat, looking straight ahead. "I…I wanted to thank you, Mary."
She swallowed hard and regained her composure. "Thank me for what?"
"For coming with me to our new chateau. It means a lot to me."
"Oh… you're welcome," she replied and looked down at her hands. "I'm looking forward to some time away from court."
"So am I. And some time alone with you."
She nodded without looking up. When had it become so difficult to look him in the eyes? They used to talk so easily, like flowing water from a stream but it stung her raw emotions like salt in an open wound.
He continued talking in spite of the invisible tension between them. "I know things have been… difficult the past few months, but spring has arrived now. I've heard the wildflowers and apple trees are starting to bloom and it's just heavenly. However, I hope you won't be discouraged by the work it needs. Our rooms are ready but the chateau still needs some exterior work done and the grounds need some brush cleared away and…"
"I'm sure it's lovely, Francis," she interrupted with a shy smile and forced herself to look into his eyes. Even if they weren't communicating like they used to, she recognized the sincerity in his voice. He was trying to repair their relationship and her heart softened a bit. "Please don't fret about it not being complete. It doesn't have to be perfect for me. I understand it is a work in progress."
He gazed back at her with a sigh. "I pray these two weeks away from the castle will be refreshing for both of us. This could be our new beginning. At least, that's what I am hoping for." The sun peeked through the clouds, shining over his handsome face and highlighting his golden curls. For a brief moment, Mary wanted to believe him. Perhaps they could start over in this new place.
The shadows returned as the carriage entered the woods and in an instant, her gloom returned like a thick veil. Mary retreated into her shell again and turned away from him as the events from the past few months clouded her thoughts. The deception and distance between them—the attack on the castle. In spite of everything, she still loved Francis with all her heart, but now that love always seemed to bring pain and guilt rather than joy. It was the reason she'd suggested living separate lives— so each of them could move on and find happiness once again. The plan had worked, temporarily at least— like a bandage over a wound. Then her dream changed everything. Would she ever work up the courage to tell Francis? Would it even change anything?
"We're almost there," Francis announced, his voice brimming with excitement. "Look!" He pointed out the opening of the carriage as they emerged from the dark woods and back into the light.
Mary drew in a sharp breath as an enclave of the Loire valley opened up before them. Lush orchards of trees and vineyards greeted them along the borders of the road. Within a few minutes, she caught a glimpse of their chateau and a small lake glistening next to it with wildflowers springing around it in every direction. The grounds around the chateau held an untamed beauty, awakening a part of her heart she'd feared would be buried forever. The trailing green vines overtaking the walls of the building and overgrowth surrounding the grounds revealed the chateau needed some work like Francis said. That didn't bother her though. It would just make it even more satisfying when they restored the chateau to its original beauty. It had potential. That drew her to the old structure the most.
"It's breathtaking," Mary said with a pounding heart.
Francis smiled and his eyes gleamed with excitement as he reached for her hand. For the first time in a long while, she didn't flinch or pull away. "I'm glad you like it. Now do you see why the poet Morot called this place the Eden of France? Eden means paradise, Mary. That's what I hope this will be for us…a perfect getaway to reconnect with each other again."
Mary nodded as hope slowly radiated through her heart. She prayed he was right.
By the time Mary settled into her chambers and glanced out the window of her spacious chambers, the sun had dipped below the horizon, casting long dark shadows over the rolling hills. She changed into her nightgown and had begun brushing her hair when there was a light knock at the side door.
"Come in," she called. When Francis entered from his adjoining chambers, Stirling trotted over to him, begging for attention. He sat on the divan and scratched the dog behind the ears. Meanwhile, his eyes drifted from side to side, inspecting the hearth and other aspects of the room before meeting her gaze. "I wanted to make sure you were comfortable in your new chambers and had everything you needed before heading off to bed."
She placed the brush on the vanity and managed a smile. "The room is lovely, Francis. Thank you for everything."
His forehead creased with uncertainty. "Are you sure you don't want me to sleep here on the divan tonight? I mean... since this is your first evening in an unfamiliar place?"
Mary shook her head. "I'll be fine, really. You need a good night's rest after our long trip. Besides, I have Stirling." She patted the bed. "Come here boy." The dog trotted back to her and panted as she ruffled the fur on his neck. She smiled as he melted against her. "You're a good guard dog, aren't you?"
She glanced to one side, noticing Francis watching her with an odd half-grin.
"What is it?"
He shrugged. "I just love the way you smile when you think I'm not looking,"
Her cheeks blush to a deep rosy hue and she hid her face in the dog's wiry fur in embarrassment.
Francis chuckled softly. "Good night, Mary." She heard his retreating footsteps.
"Francis?" she called before he disappeared in the shadows of his chamber.
He turned with hopeful eyes. "Yes?"
"Will you please leave the door open? It's comforting to know you're in the next room." A hint of disappointment flickered in his eyes. Perhaps he'd thought she had changed her mind about the sleeping arrangements. He forced a smile anyway. "Of course, my love."
Mary watched him leave before she crawled under the covers. Listening to him preparing for bed in the next room, her mind raced with fragmented thoughts. His sweet and patient demeanor that day made her long for his presence— for him to sleep on the divan or even beside her, but fear stopped her. Fear of the nightmares that plagued her. Fear of getting too close to him again and then things not working out. Fear of losing him.
Stirling sat up beside the bed, sensing her troubled emotions and Mary stroked his thick gray and black fur as her eyes grew heavy. Maybe tomorrow she'd be able to share her secrets and fears of the future with Francis. Then they could work through them together like they used to. However, for tonight, simply knowing he was safe and resting in the next room was comforting enough.