Part 4
Patience is an art he had skillfully managed to master in the first few decades of his existence. He'd made mistakes and learned very quickly that reckless behavior would result in his demise; his father's untimely end being proof enough of that.
Self-preservation had since always kept his mind clear and void of any irrational thoughts as he had no desire nor any intentions of leaving this earth – he still has got too much to achieve and accomplish.
Sesshomaru is a youkai; a manipulative, calculating, conniving, artfully devious and patient youkai. Time is his luxury, it is his birthright and he exploited it with no remorse. But it is his patience that was tethering dangerously close to the edge, winding his sanity so tight he felt it starting to tear, miniscule rips in the tether growing torturously larger and threatening to snap.
There were sensations coiling inside him, familiar and yet foreign, unknown in their intensity.
He'd felt some measure of them before, for his human ward. When they made their unbidden appearance, they were never dwelled on and were always quickly dismissed.
They wouldn't be dismissed now. He is unable to quell them, they were too fierce in their relentless pursuit.
He knew how to classify these emotions, knew their name and the cause of them but he couldn't discern how they had managed to gain complete control over him. Why was he unable to push it away? Why did his heartbeat spike with an icy burning fear that left him immobile?
Fear – he internally sneered at the thought. He'd smelt it on almost every human and demon he had ever encountered, but never before had he tasted it so bitterly tangled with his own scent.
Everything inside him was conflicted. Everything he was feeling was new, an explosion of emotions he thought himself above or incapable of. He'd been wrong.
His beast was howling and whimpering, gaining in desperation with each agonizing moment that passed by without its intended mate at his side.
Worry – it was unnerving his beast as much as it was him. It was a foreign concept to his beast, rendering it irrational, beyond reason. Its need to find and protect completely consuming it.
His beast is now feral and out of his reach. The last thread keeping him in control was his word to the priestess. Two days. He had agreed to give her two days.
Helplessness – never before had he felt so powerless against the slow passing daylight. Never before had he craved the impossible, the ability to temper and bend the limits of time. Why? Because of a human priestess? Because he wished her to be in his arms? Wished to be assured with his own demonic senses that she was alive and well and completely his?
Terror. Dread. Rage. He'd never tasted rage so venomous as the other night. He'd felt the priestess's distressed and betrayed aura from all the distance away. Felt her call out to him.
There had been no thoughts. Rage and terror had been the only things burning his mind and animating his actions.
Then it hit him and it was like nothing he had ever felt before. Pure paralyzing power. It had his hairs standing on edge and made his beast come to a complete halt, mesmerized.
It knew before Sesshomaru did, that the unmeasurable power had come from their intended – their mate.
She was in no need of his protection, not that night. The half breed was no match for his priestess, not anymore and never again.
She is glorious and she is his. Pride had swelled inside him.
With those thoughts his beast had calmed and allowed him back the reins. Reason had seeped back into his mind and he remembered. Two days, he had given her his word. He intended to keep his word. Never had it even crossed his mind that it would almost be impossible to do so. It wasn't even a notion that had ever formed existence in his mind, not until he took his first step away from her and felt as if he was being torn apart.
The pain had been so real and intense that it physically made him stumble. He lost his balance, physically. His world had begun to spin on its axis then and it hasn't stopped since. His mind in a never-ending battle to keep his grip upon reality.
She had intrigued him with her mysterious secret and it made way for a need to get to know her, to get to know all of her. He wanted to know all her thoughts and wanted to hear and learn about every event that shaped her to be the woman that she is.
Her humanity was no longer repulsive to him, she was too divine to repulse him.
Everything she invoked within him was unfamiliar and while he felt wary of it he also wished to explore the uncharted territory, as long as she would be there at his side testing each and every limitation with him. She would be, wouldn't she?
Insecurity was also an emotion long forgotten but obviously the priestess had managed to make him doubt himself and not for any reason that would be logical to him.
There was no doubt in his mind that he wanted her or that he wanted her as his mate. There should have been doubt but she was perfection and he felt as if she was solely created for him and him for her.
His insecurity lied with himself and his worth. Would she change her mind and go back on her word? Go back to him? Would she deny him when he next saw her? Was it possible that she did not want him as he wanted – no, craved her?
He didn't want to doubt himself. Didn't want to allow the questions and doubts passage in his mind but they pushed past his defenses ever so frequently that they might as well have taken up residence.
Sesshomaru peered at the high resting sun and scowled.
A few more hours until nightfall but he couldn't wait any longer. Patience was a virtue that was no longer his.
''We leave shortly,'' he ordered, voice detached. No one would know or see his conflicting emotions. He would not allow it.
Rin stopped dancing as soon as her lord voiced his command, startled to hear his melodious voice. It had been more than a day since he had spoken a word, not since he had left two nights ago only to return silent and unresponsive.
Jaken had also ceased all movement and looked at his master with an inquisitive and frightened look. For once he decided that silence would possibly be the only thing that kept him alive so he pushed Rin and gestured for her to gather her things.
Where could they possibly be headed now?
''I don't believe you,'' he said quietly, nostrils flaring as he tried to control himself.
She didn't bother telling him that if she dropped her concealment he would be able to tell, instead she sat out to further infuriate him. ''He wants me to be his mate.''
''NO!'' came the infuriated roar, aura slashing maliciously against Kagome's own. Startled, Kagome gasped and stumbled two paces back before regaining her footing. She stretched the fingers that were hanging limply at her side and willed a barrier around her.
Redness seeped into Inuyasha's eyes and rimmed his beautiful gold, his demon now trying to claw his way out to the surface.
''No,'' he repeated, the word no more than a feral snarl. It wasn't possible. She was lying. She had to be. Why would Sesshomaru want Kagome as his mate? She's human! He hated humans! She was his! Kagome is his but... but she was choosing to mate his brother? She wouldn't. He'd thought she loved him. She does love him. Sesshomaru must have done something to her.
''What did he do to you?'' He reached for her but his hand hit against a barrier, sizzling his skin. Inuyasha hissed and snapped his teeth at her but backed away.
''He didn't do anything to me,'' she insisted but a glance around her friend's faces showed her that they weren't convinced.
''Why would he want you to be his mate? Why would you want to be his? Do you even know what it means to be mated, wench?'' he snarled at her, allowing his anger and jealousy full reign. She would not mate Sesshomaru. Over his dead body.
''I know what it means, Inuyasha. It means he chose me. He chose me forever.'' Conviction. Her tone was pure steeled conviction. She wasn't about the let Inuyasha's spiteful words sway her otherwise.
''You're not his to mate with,'' he growled.
She could see him shaking. His whole figure was vibrating with contained rage. She was glad that he had Tessaiga at his side on his hip or his beast would have been unleashed – she was sure of it.
''I get to decide that, Inuyasha! No one else but me gets to decide who I want to mate,'' she hissed at him through clenched teeth. She wanted to scream. She wanted to rage and send him to his grave as she had promised but the anguish in his eyes calmed her and stilled her rage and tied her tongue.
She watched as he took in deep breaths to his nose, trying to calm himself enough to form a verbal response. ''I thought...'' he trailed off, clenched his jaw and shook his head. She promised she wouldn't leave him. She was his. His to mate if he so decided, once he was able to let go of Kikyo.
''What did you think, Inuyasha? Did you think I would stay alone for all of eternity waiting for you to finally make a choice? To finally set me free or hold me tight?'' She could feel the stinging tears building in the corner of her eye and tried her hardest to push them away. She wouldn't cry. There was no need for tears. ''I'm not abandoning you, I'm still your friend and we'll still look for the jewel shards but aren't I allowed to be happy whilst we do so?'' she demanded with a broken voice.
Was she really asking for so much? Wasn't she allowed some light in all this darkness she found herself surrounded with? Had she not already sacrificed enough?
''So you decide to replace me with my brother?'' he spat, utterly disgusted with the notion of his brother together with Kagome. She said he's already had her. He's already laid his claim on her. He'd already taken from him even if they had not fully completed the mating ritual.
Betrayal – It clogged his throat and burned like acid down his chest, infecting his beating heart with hatred and anguish. How could she have done this to him? How could she have chosen his brother?
''I don't want to be with him because he is your brother nor did I want to hurt you or seek revenge!'' she screamed, incensed by his atrocious accusation. ''Replace?'' she laughed humorlessly. ''How is he replacing you? You've never intended to mate me, I was always your friend. He can't replace you in a position you never truly had or wanted.''
''Like hell you didn't!'' he screamed, not noticing the ground that was now shaking beneath his feet.
''I chose to mate Sesshomaru because I've felt safer in the past few weeks than I ever have in my entire life. I didn't go seek out to seduce him, I didn't he have any such intentions. I was just curious and wanted answers. I wanted to go give him my thanks for saving my life. This wasn't planned and I didn't do this to hurt you. It had absolutely nothing to do with you and everything to do with me and what I realized I wanted. For once I acted selfishly and did something for the sole purpose that I wanted it, craved it. I still want him and yes, I chose him,'' her eyes glowed once again in that unnatural hue, daring him to challenge her.
''You don't know him, you know nothing about what he is really like. How can you mate him? How can you think that he will be able to make you happy?'' he seethed, furious, hurt and utterly lost. He suddenly felt disconnected. The world blurred around him and it took everything in him to keep his feet planted to the ground.
''Maybe I don't know everything about him but he's made me feel more alive and cherished then you've ever managed,'' she told him spitefully. ''At the very least your brother knows how to appreciate a warm body,'' she told him cuttingly, ignoring her vulgarity and cruelty because her need to hurt him momentarily overrode her rational thought.
Inuyasha snapped his face to the side as if her words had been a physical blow. She had finally managed to stun him speechless.
''What have you ever done for me other than push me away and run to your precious Kikyo? You'd rather run after and protect a cold, clay body, that, might I remind you, is only animated because of a piece of my soul. Because I allow it she runs around for your pleasure, with a stolen piece of my soul, but you dare deny me my happiness?''
Trees were now collapsing; the earth was cracking and the air became tick. Everyone stood shocked in silence, petrified by the aura that invaded their senses. It was suffocating them and had them gasping for air but Kagome didn't notice, too incensed by her rage and unable to see past it.
''I have half a mind to purify you where you stand,'' Kagome threatened Inuyasha in a dark whisper that sent a trill of fear down all of her friend's spines, leaving them all to wonder when she had managed to unlock so much of her power.
''I want to,'' she continued in the same chilling voice. ''I can feel the energy sizzling in my fingertips, urging me to release, to destroy the demon that attacked me.''
She wasn't done, she wanted to hurt him, she was about to, but before she could say or do any more she felt Sesshomaru's presence approaching.
Kagome straightened her back and tilted her head to the side, unwinding her grip on her energy.
There were collective sighs and sags of relief coming from all of her friends when they felt her aura abating and leaving their space, finally allowing them to breathe easier.
Inuyasha stood in shock at what he had just heard and felt, unable to string any thought together. All his focus was on Kagome and her eyes. Her breathtaking glowing azure eyes.
She looked terrifying. She looked dangerous. She looked perfect. Like a perfect mate.
''Sesshomaru,'' she breathed, a beautiful smile taking over her face. She snapped her eyes back to Inuyasha and smirked. ''He'll be here soon,'' she warned him, allowing the relief she felt to wash over and soothe her.
He hadn't changed his mind after all. Her worried had been unfounded and she would soon have her intended at her side. She would prove to Inuyasha that he was wrong. She would prove to him that Sesshomaru wanted her.
He still wanted her to be his mate – she was still reeling on the ecstatic waves that pulsed through every inch of her being when Inuyasha penetrated her excited bubble.
''Don't do this, Kagome,'' Inuyasha begged her, the fight leaving his body and his eyes turning back to their beautiful shining amber.
''It's already done,'' she stated flatly, narrowing her eyes at him. ''Don't make me choose, Inuyasha, because you will not like the answer I will give you,'' she cautioned him, allowing some of her anger to seep away from her.
''You would choose him over me?'' he questioned her with a dead voice, feeling his eyes burning. He wouldn't cry, not for the wench.
''Just like you would choose, have already chosen, and will always keep on choosing, Kikyo.''
''What if I don't?'' he asked her, heart beating painfully in his chest. ''What if I don't choose her?'' he pressed, the words flying out of his mouth without his consent but as he said them he realized they were true. He couldn't lose Kagome, she is too important to him and maybe even more important than Kikyo. Kagome had been the only one the ever truly accept him for who he was, the only one that never really asked anything of him, not even his affections.
He wanted to hate her but he wanted to have her even more.
Kagome's eyes widened at his words and she stumbled backwards, away from him. How dare he say that to her now? How dare he play with her feelings in such a cruel manner? Had he not done enough?
''You'll choose me until you catch a glimpse of her soul collectors, then you'll be running off without a second glance back,'' she told him calmly with a grimace. How many times had he done just that even when Kagome had needed him?
''I wouldn't,'' Inuyasha insisted, taking two steps toward her, his face imploring her to listen to him.
''Don't,'' Kagome stopped him before he could take another step toward her.
''Listen to me, Kagome. I promise, I promise I won't go after her anymore. I'll stay at your side and only your side,'' he vowed to her with such conviction in his eyes that it broke her heart. He believed his words, she had no doubt about that; but she knew him better and knew that he wouldn't be able to keep such a promise and she no longer wanted him to.
She has finally come to terms with the fact the Inuyasha's role in her life would only ever be that of a friend.
''You wouldn't be able to help yourself,'' she told him shaking her head, choking back the turmoil of emotion that crept up her throat. ''It doesn't matter anymore,'' she sighed, running a hand through her hair in defeat, smiling sadly at him.
''How can you say that? How can you say it doesn't matter?'' he asked her hysterically. She was rejecting him. He was offering her what she wanted and she was still rejecting him, for his own brother.
How could it have come to this? How is it possible for his world to be ripped away from him in a few minutes? If he'd never had her as she claimed then why does it feel like his heart has been torn out of him? Why did he suddenly feel as if a part of his soul was missing?
How can she stand there and act so calmly whilst his world was burning around him and turning to ashes?
''Because she is with me now, Brother.''
Kagome's eyes snapped past Inuyasha's distraught face and toward the direction where the velvety voice had come from. How could she have been so distracted not have noticed him arrive?
Everyone had turned to face Sesshomaru, taking a defensive stance and preparing for an attack.
Sesshomaru didn't move, just stood next to the tree line looking as regal as she has ever seen him and Kagome instantly felt her stomach warm at the sight of him.
Next to him stood Rin, waving at her with a toothy-grin on her face, looking absolutely adorable. Kagome couldn't help but smile and give the sweet girl a small wave back.
Jaken was standing behind Sesshomaru, his jaw unhinged and large eye blinking rapidly. Kagome could also feel A-Un resting inside the forest, out of sight.
Sesshomaru's eyes hadn't left Kagome and he was drinking in the sight of her, allowing his beast to calm with the knowledge that their intended was unharmed and within their reach.
His beast was urging him to go and wrap his arm possessively around their intended. His arms almost twitched with the effort it took not to move from his spot and tried to pacify his beast with the knowledge that there would be no need to be apart from her again once this affair has been settled.
''You came,'' Kagome whispered, a delicious blush coloring her cheeks.
Sango and Miroku relaxed their stance once they realized that Sesshomaru wasn't planning to attack and started blinking rapidly at the scene that was unfolding in front of them. They both shot weary glances at Inuyasha who was now wearing an expressionless face as he watched his brother.
Shippo, noticing the somber mood and frankly quite frightened of Kagome, decided to keep his comments to himself for once and hid behind Kirara.
''So, it's true,'' Inuyasha chuckled darkly. ''You've decided to take a human as your mate,'' he spat, clenching his hands into fist at his side.
''Inuyasha,'' Kagome hissed in warning but it went unheard as he stepped toward the daiyoukai.
''Yes,'' Sesshomura answered flatly in that cool velvety voice of his that ordered submission. ''My beast and I have chosen the Priestess as our mate,'' he confirmed, taking his eyes off his intended to focus them on his half-breed brother.
''Out of everyone,'' he growled, body trembling once again with barely contained rage.
''Stop,'' ordered Kagome. ''This will not turn into a fight. I won't allow it.''
''How can you trust this bastard? After everything he's done?'' Inuyasha cried, desperate for her to understand what a mistake she's making.
''He's been following and protecting us for months! Why wouldn't I trust him?'' she asked him exasperated, her patience wearing very thin and quickly traveling to non-existent.
Inuyasha spun around to face his friends and looked at them expectantly, waiting for them to voice their support. ''Are you guys just going to stand there and say nothing?''
They looked surprised at suddenly having been dragged into the argument and shifted uncomfortably on their feet.
Sango cleared her throat and took a cautious step towards Kagome, not having forgotten the way her aura had nearly suffocated her minutes before.
''Is- is this really what you want?'' she asked her hesitantly, warm concerned brown eyes searching Kagome's face.
''You can't be serious!'' Inuyasha snarled, outraged, but Sango kept on looking at Kagome.
''I want Sesshomaru and Rin to travel with us,'' Kagome nodded firmly. ''I-I want to be with him, Sango,'' she blushed, casting her eyes towards the ground.
''I don't trust him but I do trust you,'' Sango smiled wearily. ''So, I'll give him a chance,'' she sighed and Kagome beamed at her and rushed forward to hug her friend, crushing her to her chest.
''Thank you, Sango. This really means a lot to me,'' she murmured almost in tears once again.
Sango pulled back and smiled at young girl she loved so dearly. ''Just don't get us killed,'' she grumbled and Kagome giggled at her friend.
''I believe,'' Miroku started, getting everyone's attention, ''that Lord Sesshomaru will be a great asset to our team, especially considering he has his mate to protect. I find no qualms with this arrangement, it just improves our chances of survival. Given that he truly is on our side,'' at this he leveled his gaze onto the youkai that had yet to move from his position next to the tree line.
''I am on no one's side but my own,'' Sesshomaru returned his gaze unconcerned. ''My intended has requested I join her on her travels and I have given my word to assist her in her quest for the shards. My only intention is to keep her unharmed and guide her to achieve her full potential.''
''You're going to train her,'' Miroku stated, nodding his head in understanding. Yes, it would be wise to train the young miko. She had potential, potential to change the world and Sesshomaru could see that, had seen it before any of them.
''She will be Lady of the West; as such she will be trained and educated.''
This was all news to Kagome and she felt herself bristle. They were talking about her as if she wasn't even there! Men!
She clenched her jaw and crossed her arms over her chest, allowing herself a moment to mull over Sesshomaru's words. Would she really want to refuse his offer to train her? She wanted to get better and she wanted to be stronger. No, she didn't want to refuse.
Lady of the West, what was that going to entail, she wondered wearily.
''I will lend you my assistance should you ever need it,'' Miroku nodded, pushing his hands together he gave Sesshomaru a respectful bow of his head.
Sesshomaru tilted his head the barest of a fraction but said no more.
''You've all lost your minds,'' Inuyasha growled, not believing his ears. They were accepting Sesshomaru without a fight, trusting him. The betrayal he had been feeling intensified to an unbearable measure and he felt his beast clawing at him and for just a moment he wished to unleash it on them all.
''Inuyasha, see reason-'' Miroku tried but was quickly cut off by Inuyasha.
''See reason! See reason!? I'm the only one seeing any reason at all. Have you forgotten how he's hounded after me and my sword? Have you forgotten the amount of times he's tried to kill us, all of us?''
''No, I haven't,'' Miroku reassured him. ''But Lord Sesshomaru has already paid the price,'' he said, nodding at the shoulder with the severed arm. ''He now wishes to help Lady Kagome, I see no reason to oppose this.''
Inuyasha looked at Kagome with red tinted eyes, clearly struggling to keep his control. His eyes were pleading with her, begging her once again not to do this to him but her decision was already made and she wouldn't be swayed, not even by Inuyasha.
Seeing the conviction in her azure eyes, Inuyasha steeled himself, turned around, and fled the group, unable to take the sight of her any longer.
''He'll be back,'' Miroku stated, watching the place his friend had disappeared to.
''You think so?'' Kagome whispered, biting the corner of her lip, her brows furrowed as she felt the guilt rising inside her. She had nothing to feel guilty about, she tried to convince herself.
''He just need some time to get used to the idea of having Sesshomaru around,'' he told her, convinced. He turned to her and gave her a reassuring smile. ''Don't blame yourself, Kagome. As you have said before, it is your choice and your happiness. He'll come to understand.''
''Thank you, Miroku, for understanding.'' The monk just smiled brightly at her.
Shippo, who had been quiet throughout the whole ordeal stepped out from behind Kirara. ''Does this mean I get to play with Rin every day?'' he timidly asked Kagome, eyes shining brightly at the prospect of a playmate.
Kagome chuckled and nodded her head. ''If she likes,'' she smiled and turned to the girl in question who was smiling just as wildly as Shippo.
''Is it true, my Lord? Will we be travelling with Lady Kagome and Shippo?'' she asked Sesshomaru excitedly, bouncing on her small feet.
The youkai glanced down and his small human ward and gave her a slight nod of his head which had her squealing and clapping her hands before she hugged his legs fiercely whilst thanking him repeatedly.
Jaken seemed to have finally found his tongue and started stuttering. ''B-but M-Milord! She's human!'' he wailed irritatingly. Rinn let go of Sesshomaru's legs and rolled her eyes at Jaken, shaking her small head and the stupid toad.
Sesshomaru leveled him with a cool stare. ''You question me, Jaken?''
The little toad shivered and backed away from his lord. ''N-no Master!'' he denied, shaking his head furiously. ''But y-your Lady Mother-''
''My mother will not be a problem,'' he drawled and Jaken heard the warning and quickly stopped any further argument for fear of his life.
Not sparing him another glace, Sesshomaru made his way to his intended who was looking away from him shyly.
''I apologize,'' he told her as soon as she was within arm's reach.
''Whatever for?'' she asked him with furrowed brows, eyes twinkling with confusion.
''I was unable to wait the remaining hours I had promised you,'' he explained, face impassive but it made Kagome smile brightly at him, eyes shining beautifully with happiness.
''You're forgiven,'' she breathed before flinging her arms around him, unable to help herself. ''I was worried,'' she confessed into his chest, relishing in the feeling of having his arm and scent wrapped around her
''Worried?'' he questioned quietly for her ears alone.
Kagome nodded her head and hugged him closer. ''I was afraid you'd changed your mind,'' she admitted.
''Has my presence assured you otherwise?'' he inquired, gently lifting her chin so he could look at her properly. He didn't wish for her to doubt him.
''It has,'' she reassured him, stroking his cheek lovingly.
''I seem to remember being owed a few explanations...'' he trailed off, looking at her meaningfully. She wouldn't get away without answering a second time.
Kagome bit her lip nervously, looked away from him before returning her eyes towards him resolutely.
''Take us somewhere private and I'll tell you everything.''
Hello dear readers ^_^ I hope that this conclusion was satisfying for everyone.
I would like to apologize to everyone who sent me a request to be my beta. Is seems that some pms I receive on my phone and others on my laptop. The ones on my phone I didn't see before early in the morning yesterday. So, I'm very sorry for the late replies you all got, if they have been sent at all... I'm not trusting FF with this one.
I don't think that I'll be adding any more onto this short fiction but if there is someone who has seen my mistakes and would very much like correct them, please feel free to contact me and I'll be more than happy to work with you! Meaning I am still in search for a beta that knows his/her way around the Inuyasha-verse. Meaning yes, I have some other Inuyasha ideas in mind ;) I'll be checking both inboxes from now on, and will try be as prompt with my reply as I can :) (Please do keep time differences in mind)
On another note I would like to thank everyone following this story! And an even more special thanks goes to all those who have reviewed and will review in future ^_^
To all those Kagome/Koga fans out there... Keep a lookout for a new story from me soon.
Thanks everyone xx