Chapter 6

Cassian barely made it through the end of his second month in the medbay before Draven would wait no longer. The Captain wasn't particularly surprised, though he did have mixed emotions. So much had changed in those two months, not the least of which that he no longer had a 'home' to return to. There were still troops on Yavin, but they were mostly protecting the base there until everything could be evacuated, or unavoidably abandoned.

He also had no ship and no K-2. Though he had spent a great deal of his time in the Rebellion operating solo, this was different. In recent years, those had been brief instances when it was necessary for just a single person to fill a mission's scope. But now, he had a family of sorts, and no home base was a torment keeping them separated. After he lost both his parents by the age of ten, he'd been alone, and he made a point to keep it that way. He was friendly to some of his fellow Rebels, but he never allowed any of them to get very close, never allowed any of them to matter to him too very much. Having friends or a family meant pain – if he couldn't protect them, then he would not indulge in having them. Not until K-2 came along did he let himself become close with anyone.

He supposed he lost his iron will against having friends and family first with Melshi. Spending time with K-2 softened him just enough that when Melshi offered help, he was able to accept it. And then reciprocate it. And then before he knew it, there was nothing else appropriate to call the other man but 'friend'. At that point in his life, he had figured that just one friend wouldn't be so bad, that he had learned not to feel the pain of loss that inevitably came. He didn't acknowledge that what he had done was learn to ignore pain of any kind; he still felt it. He felt it when he awoke in a cold sweat; he felt it when he couldn't sleep and was operating on short naps. He felt it when he had no appetite after a mission. And he inexplicably felt it on the ride from Eadu to Yavin. He didn't want to feel it, but still he did.

"Captain Andor, welcome back."

Cassian nodded at General Draven's greeting, automatically falling back into his well-developed impassive expression and neutral body language.

"I hope you're ready to get back into it, as there is a great deal that needs doing. First order of business is we need to send a group of pilots to Takodana. We've managed to arrange to take possession of some new ships there. You'll keep one of them for your missions. The others will join the fleet where needed most, including," – he gestured to Melshi – "one to SpecForces. Sergeant Melshi will be going with you, along with other pilots presently being chosen and advised. You'll leave tomorrow afternoon at 1400 hours."

Cassian nodded again, but when Draven looked ready to conclude the session, he ventured, "Could we meet up with the Millenium Falcon there? So I can collect K-2."

Beside him, Melshi carefully didn't look in his direction, but Draven's countenance was rigid. No doubt the man could guess that Cassian also wished to see Jyn, and that was the last thing he wanted to have happen. Finally he said, "I don't know if that will be possible, but we can arrange with Captain Solo to drop the droid somewhere that you can retrieve him."

Cassian wasn't surprised. As far as Draven was concerned, Jyn Erso was nothing more than a distraction to one of his best agents. Had even persuaded said agent and a lot of others to follow her on a suicide mission. Few had returned. Nevermind that their efforts were successful. It hadn't been sanctioned and such rogue activities could not be tolerated.

What the General didn't understand was that all of them had chosen to follow her, to do something that might help counter-balance all the terrible things they had done in service to the Alliance. If they were to die, they had wanted to go out doing one last, good thing, not some questionable act while hiding in the shadows. Cassian regretted all the men who had died, even felt guilty that he had survived when they hadn't, but he didn't regret allowing them to commit that act of redemption before they died. He, too, had found a semblance of peace and was ready to die on Scarif. It hadn't happened, and so he would continue the fight, but he had been ready for death, had accepted it in a way he never had before then. And Jyn had given that to them all.

"Dismissed," Draven said, when no other remarks were forthcoming.

Cassian hadn't bothered to argue; he knew he would lose under a barrage of all the valid reasons why it couldn't be done. He hadn't asked believing it likely, though he was sure it was possible. He had asked because he had to, because he needed to see Jyn face to face, and for them to have time to talk about…everything. Ever since he awoke from his injuries, his mind had tried to work out what the two of them were and where it could or should go from there. Dying on Scarif would have been simple; remaining alive and continuing on was not simple at all, and he had no frame of reference from his life to know what to do or how to proceed.

His hand went up and rubbed against his shirt, feeling Jyn's necklace press against his skin.

"You okay?"

He blinked, just noticing that Melshi had exited the room beside him. Funny, he wasn't usually so inattentive. "Yeah, fine. It just feels strange being back."

"Guess so. Two months is a long time to be out of action. But it's good to see you up and about finally."

He quirked a small smile at his friend. "Thanks. So, going to pick up new ships. You put a team together then?"

"Still working on it. With the evacuation, people are scattered so it isn't so simple as organizing a team while on a base. I have my eye on a few people that I need to talk to, and get approved for the assignment."

Cassian blew out a breath and then fixed the other man with his gaze. "Thanks for everything, Melshi. For going with us, against terrible odds. I just wish more had made it back."

Melshi nodded. "They knew what they were signing up for, Captain. I made sure of that. They didn't go into it expecting to return. Survival for any of us was just a bonus. The important thing is that we succeeded." His voice dropped lower and he added, "No matter what Draven says about it, it had to be done." He reached over and gripped Cassian's shoulder, before turning and moving off down the hallway.

Back in his room, Cassian rubbed a hand over his face. He had to pull it together. He couldn't go back out in the field with his mind so scattered and unfocused. Maybe the trip to pick up the new ships would help, and then get K back and…

Jyn. Everything had been so clear when they were clinging to each other in that elevator, expecting to die together. Now, they had to find a way to live. Together, or apart, or something. When you're staring death in the face, it was easy to be hyper-emotional, and read things into situations that might not be there, or that couldn't hold up to long-term examination. Even before Scarif, he had known he was beginning to have feelings for her, but survival and the evacuation from Yavin confused the issue.

For that week, they had been in one another's company almost every waking hour, so it was natural to develop a connection. He could see similarities in the lives they had lived and the pain they had suffered. Being drawn to someone who understood you in a way others couldn't was reasonable. But how did you continue that from a distance, and should you even try to continue it in the heat of war. For they were at war now – destruction of the Death Star had made that inevitable.

Was it reasonable to try to build a life with someone when you knew full well your life might be snuffed out at any moment? What he did was very high risk. Jyn flying missions with Solo wasn't much safer, particularly if he believed K's remark about it.

Maybe this distance between them was for the best, and maybe Draven was doing them a favor by keeping them apart. If they both survived and one day saw victory, then they could consider something more. His hand again pressed against the crystal concealed under his shirt, and he ached to press Jyn to him that closely.

But did she even want that? She had been kind and they worked well together, but he still remembered her words after Eadu. She had seen the darkness of what he usually did, the missions he normally carried out, and she had not liked what she saw. And now he was returning to it. Perhaps she had only been grateful to have someone with his skills assisting her on Scarif, and that he had persuaded others to join them. It had felt like there was something more when they were in the lift headed down from the tower, but it was easy to be forgiving when you were expecting death. Maybe it wasn't anything more than gratitude he had seen in her eyes. That she was merely concerned for his well-being, because as much as she tried to hide it, Jyn was a caring person. He had realized that when she rescued that little girl on Jedha. Compassion for an injured man would not be surprising. It didn't mean there was anything more in her heart with regard to him.

He leaned on his desk and clenched his hair in his hands. This would drive him crazy if he didn't stop it. He had always had tremendous amounts of self-control. Now was the time to regain that control and step back. If Jyn was feeling anything similar to the confusion he was, it would hurt her less that they separated now before the water could become any murkier. They'd already had two months of separation to ease them back into solitary lives; they needed to use that to get focused on what had to be done. Sappy romanticism was for others, not fighters like he and Jyn.

He drew out the crystal and fingered it thoughtfully. He would return it if she wished, but perhaps she would let him keep it as a symbol of hope that one day things might be possible between them. Maybe one day she could forgive him for all the evil deeds he had done and they could at least be friends.

xxxxx

"Cassian!"

He turned, recognizing the voice. "Bodhi? You're our shuttle pilot?"

"Yeah! I couldn't believe it when they told me. It's been so long since I've seen any of you. I've talked to Jyn a couple of times over the comm, and to Baze and Chirrut once, but most of the time…well, you know how it is. Not having a base makes it difficult to stay in touch."

"Yes, it does. We weren't even on Yavin all that long and now we have to start over."

"So, we're going to Takodana? Have you ever been there? I've heard of it, but never been. Luckily for them, the Empire mostly ignores them."

"I've been a couple of times. It's an interesting place. I don't know that we'll be there long enough for you to see much, though. Sounds like a quick trip."

"Bodhi!"

Baze and Chirrut were coming toward them, wide smiles on their faces.

"Hey, guys!" He hurried toward the two, giving each of them a hug. "Wait. You're not coming with us, are you? I hadn't heard that."

"We're here to say hello and see Captain Andor off," Baze told him. "They haven't yet come up with an assignment for us, so for the time being it looks like we'll stay here."

"Melshi's putting together a SpecForces team," Cassian said. "Maybe he could use the two of you. Your skills aren't what are usually found in that group, but he would find a way to make use of them. Let him know if you might be interested and I'm sure he'll at least consider it."

"He already has," Melshi interjected, coming up behind them. "I asked, but they haven't given me a firm commitment. No point trying to talk Onoran into it if they aren't interested."

"The Force leads us where it wills us to be," Chirrut noted, while Baze grinned indulgently behind him.

"Uh, yeah. Well, let me know if the Force wills you to be a part of my team and I'll work on it," Melshi replied carefully.

Cassian bit back a smile at the exchange. His friend hadn't had as much time as he had in getting used to Chirrut's vague remarks.

"If the Force had willed it soon enough, you could have come along with us now. Having you already onboard my new ship might have increased the chances of getting Onoran's approval for the assignment."

"Then I guess we should come along," Baze said benignly.

"Well…there isn't going to be time for you to gather your things. We're ready to leave." Melshi looked at Bodhi and Cassian for confirmation. Both nodded.

"Good thing we don't have to do much to prepare then," Baze said, walking over to a pile that none of them had noticed before, which Cassian now saw included Baze's repeating cannon.

"Looks like you've got a couple of new recruits, Melshi."

His friend chuckled. "So it would seem. Well, then, let's get moving."

"What about General Onoran?" Bodhi asked, not sure the officer was going to approve of this change in plans.

"I'll comm him in transit," Melshi said, keeping a neutral expression.

Cassian knew Onoran wouldn't be pleased by that, but then they were a little desperate so Melshi's move was probably smart. And it got him started immediately with two team members.

They were quickly aboard and settled. "We have a couple of stops to make to pick up the other pilots," Bodhi told them as he and his co-pilot prepped for launch. "We won't reach Takodana until tomorrow, so get comfortable until then."

xxxxx

Cassian enjoyed catching up with Bodhi and finding out what he had been doing the past couple of months. Baze and Chirrut were pleased to join the conversation as well. Much was said between the five survivors, but notably talk of Scarif was not included. There was little point in revisiting that issue. It was over and done, and nothing worthwhile could come of talking about it more.

Draven hadn't said anything about K-2, but Cassian was not surprised when neither the Millenium Falcon nor the droid were waiting on Takodana, or expected to arrive. They did have enough time before they were to depart that the four made their way to Maz's place for a drink and to allow Bodhi to see it. Baze and Chirrut, too, as it turned out. Baze took it in with his usual complacency, but Bodhi's eyes were agog at the noise and spectacle of the castle.

Chirrut and Maz struck up an immediate friendship; Cassian had never heard of her warming to a stranger so quickly before. It was widely known that it took a while to get to know her, and sometimes even longer to get in her good graces.

The others departed first, but Cassian lingered in Maz's castle hall, listening to conversations around him, trying to pick up what chatter could be heard. It was a toe-dip start to getting back to work.

He had been sitting there a good twenty minutes when Maz slid in across from him, and gazed intently at his face. "Your eyes have changed, Captain."

He tensed slightly under the perusal. One of the reasons he didn't come here often was Maz's knack for seeing through his mask. Every time she looked at him, he felt exposed and vulnerable. He did not like those feelings.

"Things have happened since last we met."

"Yes, I have heard as much, including the reason you and your friends were here now. The question is, will the change in your eyes mean a change in your path, or will you return to how things were before? A choice is laid at your feet. Choose well, Captain Andor." With that she slid to her feet and walked away.

He hadn't needed that encounter – it did nothing for his frame of mind. It was probably a mistake that he had stayed around after the others left. He swallowed the last of his drink and headed out the door. Time to get moving.

Now Cassian was faced with his return trip alone on the new ship. At least it was another U-wing, so he was comfortable in flying it on his own, but it was still a reminder that K was not sitting next to him at the controls. As he settled into the pilot's seat, he opened a channel to command.

"Yes, Captain?"

"General. What's the word on K-2? Am I to rendezvous with him somewhere or just return to the fleet?"

Draven's momentary silence was telling, at least to Cassian who knew him well. The man had tried to ignore the request, but now was going to have to deal with it. "I'll tell Solo to drop him on Jakku. From there, I'll need the two of you to start immediately on your next mission. I'll send the details soon. It's on Bestine, so it's in that vicinity."

"Understood. Setting course for Jakku. Let me know where to make the pick up."

Jakku. If Draven was having Solo drop K there, it probably meant he wanted the smuggler – and Jyn – gone before Cassian could arrive. It was out of the way for a mission assignment to Bestine; that could be the only explanation. His jaw tightened, but he tried to remind himself it was probably for the best. Stolen moments here and there were not going to work. Until a new base was found, he and Jyn would have to put on hold any possibility of sorting out their relationship.

He thought he had resigned himself to that truth, but now being faced with not seeing her made him painfully aware of how much he missed her, and had wanted to see her. Had wanted to talk and find out her thoughts about surviving Scarif and what they should do now. He supposed it said something that she had remained with the Alliance. And that she had gone out of her way to look after K while he was recovering.

But maybe she was just trying to repay him, for finding volunteers to go on the mission with her – making it possible. Maybe once K was back with him, she'd disappear, off to live a quiet life somewhere without the Alliance trying to order her around. His hand went to the kyber crystal around his neck. But if she meant to leave, why had she given it to him? He growled in frustration. Draven thought it best to keep them separated, but he was wrong. Only if the two of them had a chance to sit down and really talk was this ever going to be resolved. And until that happened, he wasn't sure Draven was going to be pleased with Cassian's distracted efforts.

He didn't want to be distracted; distracted tended to get you killed. But he wasn't sure he knew of any other way to regain his focus than to settle things with Jyn.

xxx

"Perhaps we should stop at Jakku before we return to the fleet."

Melshi's brow knit. As a straightforward military man, he still found it difficult to comprehend the blind Guardian's random utterances.

"Why would we go to that hunk of rock and desert?" He adjusted controls and began takeoff.

"It could be that you will find what you are seeking, even there."

Melshi glanced at Baze, who merely shrugged. Apparently spending a lot of time in Chirrut's company didn't guarantee better understanding. After a moment, though, the big man commented, "It is usually worthwhile to listen to his cryptic words, to whatever end."

Well, it was true that Andor had valued the man's opinion. "Okay. Jakku it is. Once we're there, though, you may have to point me to what you think I want to see." He pulled the nav computer to him to recalculate the hyperspace jump.

"Or you may recognize it when you see it," Chirrut replied with a grin.

xxx

The Millenium Falcon? What was Solo's junker doing out here in the middle of nowhere? Regardless, Chirrut was right – there was something here of interest to him.

"Melshi calling Millenium Falcon. Come in, please."

"Well, look who's in the neighborhood. Now why would that be? You picking up the tin can for Andor?"

"Tin can? You mean K-2?"

"Yeah, Draven said to drop him here on our way to our next mission, that Andor would come get him. Unfortunately, we've had trouble with the ship and haven't been able to leave."

Melshi could hear the smirk in Solo's voice. Didn't take a genius to figure Erso wanted to remain and see Cassian, and it was difficult to say no to the girl.

"But you still haven't said why you're here – doesn't sound like the droid is it."

"No, I'm, uh, here to recruit."

"Trying to steal my crew, Melshi? Chewie's gotten kind of attached to the girl."

There was a howl in the background, but Melshi didn't know what the Wookiee had responded and Solo didn't translate.

Before he could say more, Solo added, "Get your tail down here. She may balk, but I'll convince her to go with you."

Melshi blinked. "You will?" That did surprise him; Solo wasn't known as the most cooperative person.

"Look, if Andor takes the droid, that means I have to put up with her moping around missing both of them. Draven isn't gonna let her go with them, but Onoran should let her work with you. He doesn't have a problem with her like Draven does. And scuttlebutt has it that a couple of her friends have already signed on with you."

"Careful, Solo, or people will start thinking you're a nice guy."

"If you're gonna insult me, I'm leaving and taking her with me."

"Thought your ship was broken."

"I'll make miraculous repairs before you land, pal!"

Melshi chuckled. "See you in a couple of minutes."

Jyn wandered into the cockpit as Han closed the line, and glanced out, noting the approaching ship.

"That Cassian?"

"No, actually it's another friend of yours – Melshi."

"Melshi? What's he doing here? He picking up K for Cassian?"

Han rubbed the back of his neck. "Not exactly. Sit down, kid."

She warily dropped into the co-pilot chair, eyeing him curiously.

"Look, you already know Draven doesn't want you near Andor. Afraid you'll mess up one of his agents or something. Personally, I don't think the guy gives you enough credit, but he didn't ask me. You and me, we work well together, and you've been decent company and all, but let's face it – you got talents that aren't being used riding with me. Melshi's team does all that skulking and blowing things up that you like. Onoran might balk, but Melshi thinks he's got a shot at convincing him to let you join his team. If he can't swing it, you can always come back to the Falcon."

Solo wasn't known for long speeches; this was probably more than she had ever heard him say, particularly in a serious vein. Still, she hesitated. Not because of what Draven might say about the change – annoying him was just a bonus – but because she did like working with Han and Chewie, and she did like their less rigid style over the military discipline of the Alliance.

"Come on, kid, just do it. Your friends are all on board. Go join them."

"What do you mean?"

"Those two guys – what do ya call them, 'Guardians'? They signed on with Melshi recently. Guess after working with you lot on your little Scarif outing, he likes the way you handle yourselves."

If anything, that swayed her decision. She and Melshi hadn't entirely warmed to each other yet, but they were cordial. The Guardians, though, they were family. She would be losing K shortly; going with Melshi would give her back some of her family, her team. She was surprised how very much she wanted that. Even after all the time she had spent on her own during the course of her life, she had liked having a 'family' of sorts surrounding her. Han and Chewie were now friends, but they were not yet family to her. "Okay, I'll go. But you'll stay with K until Cassian comes? No matter what Draven or Onoran says? I don't want him just dumped here on his own."

"Get out of here. Of course, I'll babysit your droid, though it's hardly like he can't take care of himself." He gave her a grin to let her know he meant it, and she rose to gather her belongings. Before she left her bunk, she grabbed the bag of Cassian's things and took it with her to the hold.

"Jyn Erso, Captain Solo says you are leaving. Is this true?"

"Yes, K. Melshi's here and I'm going with him, joining his team."

"Has General Onoran approved this?"

She shrugged. "Probably not yet, but once I'm on board he's more likely to agree. I think Melshi is trying to force his hand." She hesitated, then held out Cassian's satchel. "Here. Give Cassian his things, will you?"

The droid slowly took the bag, but only answered, "Of course."

When she moved out the exit, he followed as she made her way toward the other ship. Melshi was standing with Baze and Chirrut, but only he walked forward to meet her. They stopped face to face, neither one speaking initially. At length, a tiny smile tweaked his mouth and he asked, "You want to get out of here?"

Jyn repressed a smile and nodded. "I'll even go peaceably this time."

He rubbed absently at his chest where the shovel had struck when first they met, and murmured, "Good." He straightened. "We should go. This was an unplanned stop that Chirrut advised."

She chuckled. Knowing Chirrut, she could guess how that conversation had gone. Slowly she turned back. Han and Chewie had come up to stand alongside K. Jyn bit her lip momentarily, then strode forward and hugged the smuggler, much to his surprise. "Try to stay out of trouble, Solo. Remember I'm not going to be around to watch your back anymore. Don't make it hard for Chewie to keep you alive."

He smiled, and after a moment she moved to the Wookiee, who gave a mournful howl and then engulfed her in his furry embrace. "Take care, Chewie. Hopefully we'll bump into each other now and then."

Then there was only K. It was funny how used she had gotten to having the droid around. He still annoyed her sometimes, with his bickering, but she was going to miss him. She had an inexplicable urge to hug him, but that was ridiculous – you didn't hug droids, particularly not K. If she did that, she'd be here a couple more hours trying to explain to him why she had done it. On the other hand, she was half-tempted to do it and leave immediately afterwards, making Solo give the explanation. Certainly he had made enough comments that spurred her to provide lengthy explanations to the droid. It would serve him right, but she wouldn't be here to enjoy the show and just couldn't work up enthusiasm for the prank.

"I'm glad you're finally being reunited with Cassian, K. Keep him safe as best you can. Yourself, too."

"I am sorry to part from you, Jyn Erso. I thank you for your assistance while Cassian has been incapacitated. I hope our paths will cross many times in the future."

She nodded, thought about giving him a message for Cassian – but what would she say? No matter how many times she had thought about him and what had happened while they were together, she still did not understand what it all meant, what it all should mean. No, a message wouldn't serve any purpose. Not until the day they could talk in person was there likely to be any resolution to whatever was between them.

Without another word, she turned and followed Melshi back to his ship.

To be continued…

invented characters:

Sergeant Daster – head of the tech shop on the tech frigate

Dr Lesorid – kind doctor caring for Cassian

All other characters actually are taken from the existing Star Wars universe.