Music in chapter: Kisnou & Blure- Falling Deeper

Dedicated to: tammykay715

ELENA

It felt good to be back in Mystic Falls… mostly because I was away from Klaus. I just couldn't trust myself around him, nor could I trust him around me. I wished I could erase that week I spent at the lake house, but I couldn't. I felt like the most horrible person in the world because I slept with my best friend's fiancé and she still had no idea. I was so afraid to tell Caroline. She'd never want to speak to me again. Aside from my guilt and self-loathing, I felt at ease knowing I wouldn't have to be around the one person I loved to hate and hated to love. I had betrayed myself in more ways than one. Writing in my diary about all the sordid details wasn't going to help one bit.

Bonnie left the country a few days ago. Her sudden trip to Europe seemed so abrupt… I felt like she was hiding something, but she'd insisted that she had to go to her cousin's funeral.

I turned off the tap and stared at myself in the mirror, surrendering to the chaos in my mind. Klaus's voice suddenly echoed in my ears:

We're not all that different, you and I… We both possess the ability to break the people we love… We self-sabotage…

He was right. As much as I hated to admit it. I was destructive to myself and everyone around me. All my friends and family just loved me way too much to admit my biggest flaws.

I'm not Katherine….

Maybe I should turn you and find out…

I wiped a fallen tear and tried to forget about that bitter conversation I'd had with Klaus.

As I flicked off the light, I opened the bathroom door and nearly had a heart attack.

"… You've been avoiding me, Elena."

He stood up and sauntered toward me. I was vulnerable, helpless prey in his presence.

"You shouldn't be here," I said to him, feeling my guards go up.

"I'm exactly where I need to be." He reached for my face, but I immediately stepped back before his fingers caressed my cheek.

"I want you to leave, Klaus."

"Or else?" He simpered. "What are you going to do, Elena? Cry wolf?" His grin was as sinister as his dark disposition, but incredibly seductive by nature.

"Don't you get it? Everything that happened between us was a mistake! A big fat fucking mistake!"

His twisted smile never disappeared as he folded his arms in his chest and said, "I love it when you curse, love. It's sexy."

I grew angry and told him that I wasn't trying to be sexy, though I guess it didn't help that I was only wearing black panties and a crop top with no bra on. It was late and I'd been planning on going to sleep.

"I'm calling off the wedding," he said. "I came here because I—"

"You can't call off the wedding!" I cut him off before he could finish. "Caroline is going to be devastated! We've already been through this!"

Klaus seemed to keep his composure as he edged closer to me. My heart began to race and a swirling heat began to spread between my thighs. This was dangerous: him being so close to me.

"Stop," I said, backing into a wall.

"Stop what?" He smirked.

"Stop where you are."

But he ignored my request and closed what little space remained between us and rested his palms above my head. I was trapped and felt so paralyzed to resist, as his lips came closer to mine.

No… please, no…

My prayers were miraculously answered when he paused and looked straight into my eyes.

"Do you remember that night at the dance studio?" Klaus asked.

I gave no response, but I guess I didn't need to. He was expertly skilled at reading me.

"I should've kissed you then," he said. "Just like this…"

My conscience was suffering unfathomable guilt, and yet… when I felt his lips press against mine, all I could feel was raw, carnal desire. His kiss was hot; his kiss was passionate and tempered all at once. I felt chills go down my body in rippling waves. I needed this. I needed him all over me… touching me, kissing me, caressing me…

Devoid of all awareness, my arms took a will of their own as they snaked around his neck, pulling him closer to my body. I gasped when he lifted my thighs and pressed himself against me. My back was flush against the wall as I wrapped my legs around his waist while we kissed with unrelenting desire. I was caught in his inferno yet again, dragged into Hell with the Hybrid… no hope for salvation. But I couldn't stop myself from sinning. Our sinful desires tasted sweet as we satiated our appetite for each other. I wanted him to take me right there in my bedroom. I wanted to be wild and reckless. Being around Klaus always made me want to abandon all self-control. Somehow he always tapped into the darkest part of my personality; he wanted to love it in all its shameful glory.

Maybe that's who I was at my core: a selfish, lust driven, immoral bitch… just like… Katherine.

I moaned when he sank his fangs into my neck and fed on my blood. There was liberation in my submission… surrendering my life force to him. He had complete control in that moment. My life was in his hands, and in the most twisted way… it got me off. I closed my eyes and felt my blood trickle down my neck… down my shoulder… arm…. fingers…

Drip, drip, drip…

I imagined a pool of blood expanding on my hardwood floor as he continued to drink from me, as if he were a man that had reached a desert oasis, on his last breaths of life before he'd drink the cool waters and replenish his mortality.

My eyes fluttered open as I released a breath when he stopped and licked my wounded flesh. I was aroused beyond comprehension, and so was he—I could feel it against me. Something inside me was desperately trying to get out; something dark and destructive; something I needed to keep locked away forever and ever.

"Klaus," I softly moaned.

Gleaming gold eyes penetrated through me, making my stomach twist in a thousand knots. The spider veins around his cheekbones were so dark. I should've been frightened by the monster before me, but I wasn't. His ferocious aggression and untamed instincts tempted me in ways I was ashamed to admit.

"I want you, Elena," he whispered with such urgency as his eyes remained black and golden.

I watched my blood drip from the corner of his mouth, then regarded him again. Those spider veins continued to vanish and appear, indicating that he was trying to control the beast within.

"You've made me hate myself, Klaus," I confessed, caressing his face.

"Welcome to my world, love."

He kissed me deeply as I enjoyed every second of it. I was prepared to fully submit myself and let him have his way with me, until he told me something that made me snap out of my sexual fantasies.

"Come to New Orleans with me," he whispered in my ear.

"I can't," I said as he kissed my neck.

"Why not?"

"My life is here. I can't just leave everything and everyone and come away with you."

"There's nothing for you here, Elena." He fixed his heated gaze on me. Gone were the spider veins and golden eyes. I was staring at his humanity again. "How much longer must we do this dance around each other? Is it that difficult for you to accept that I have feelings for you?"

"There was a time when I thought I was better than you. Now that I've sunk so low to your level… I hate myself."

"Is that how you perceive me?" His face crumbled to a frown. "A spineless bastard with no morals?" He set me down and took a step back.

"You're a murderer and an adulterer," I said, feeling the sting of my hurtful accusations. "How could I ever give my heart to a man who has no moral compass? Let's face it, Klaus. You can't love anybody. You're just selfish. You love to possess people. Caroline is just another one of your collection of conquests. I may have given you my body, but you'll never have my heart."

He looked as if I had killed whatever spirit that remained inside him.

"And you're right about one thing," I added. "I am just like you. I'm selfish. I take what I want when I want. I kissed Elijah one night at the lake house, and I liked it. As a matter of fact, I might do it again, 'if I should feel so inclined.' "

"You've said quite enough!" Klaus erupted in anger. "Mission accomplished, Elena. You've managed to push me away so far… Never again…" he seemed to fumble for the right words. "Never again."

I instantly felt such anguish, as if I had stabbed myself in the chest over and over. As soon as I blinked, he was gone. A cool draft blew past my window curtains, while I stood alone in a pool of my own blood, and a blood stained wall. I clasped my hand over my mouth and tried to silence my sobs. He was gone for good. This was what I had wanted, and now I had to live with every horrible thing I had said to him. I shouldn't have cared… but I did.

A/N: Sorry for the late upload guys. I've had a hectic school schedule! Hope you enjoyed the chapter!