A/N: Admittedly, this is just the original chapter 8 with some changes.

CHAPTER 8

Allen walked in the bowels of the ship, the combination of the many candles she had lighted and the flashlight she held enough to allow her a good view of the whole structure of the room she was in. In her hands there was a small survey board with a paper and a pen. After carefully perusing every inch of the ship's lower areas, she checked another task out of her list.

"Now, the supplies storage," said she, blowing the candles and leaving the room. There was a list of items and minimal quantities they should have of each, having the levels of full, intermediate and critical state.

There was quite enough food of each type, though the oranges were dangerously low. Allen wondered why everyone seemed so adamant about oranges – there was a rule they had to eat at least one every day, but couldn't eat a lot at once either, as if it was some precious resource or something.

After writing down this new worry about the fruits, she went to the medicine cabinet. It seemed quite fine, being stored with mostly cheap and easy to find medicine, but the penicillin was at the so called 'intermediate level,' so she took note of the need of buying more of that, too.

She then went to the coffer locked in the room beside the captain's. She had been granted access to that room and the Innocence one recently, and felt a certain happiness that there were no parts she was forbidden to visit from now on. The clearance meant they trusted her a little more and, though she suspected she would never feel absolutely in place here, it did help ease the feeling of being an outsider a little.

Carefully counting the money, she checked it with the register book. It was a detailed record of every entrance and each coin that was spent. They had some main contributors, mainly a few rich families – now the Kamelot one also included – and also some churches and prefectures of places their work as exorcists had helped. Exorcists themselves also made money sometimes, staying with a percentage of it and leaving the rest as a contribution for the crew. Some made a greater amount of money than the others. Allen noticed Lenalee's and Kanda's contributions were the smallest, while Komui, Lavi and Daisya topped in money earned for the ship.

That said something about everyone's capabilities of earning money through normal work, and she wondered about herself. She could easily top the higher earning trio, but only through her usual methods of gambling. Would she have to report where the money actually came from?

Making sure their finances were alright – it wasn't a terribly complicated affair, and they did have a good amount saved – she locked the coffer and the room it was in once more, before going to the request box, a place where everyone reported needs that weren't terribly urgent to be checked by the end of the week.

Leaving the others to their own tasks and knowing hers was done, she walked to the deck, intent on enjoying the rest of the afternoon. Perhaps sit down and let her legs dangle from the railing, or something. As of late, she'd been feeling quite restless.

More than once, she had seen some shadow moving behind her. That happened only when she stared at reflective surfaces, of course. After the incident in her room, she had started to avoid looking at the mirror. It was silly, really, but it was as if, by acting like that, she could avoid the occurrence entirely.

Optical illusions and her fertile imagination aside, Allen had been feeling terribly itchy. It was as if she couldn't spend more than a few hours inside a room without needing to take a breath of fresh air. Usually, stopping her work for about five minutes to take a breath solved her problem but, as of late, that didn't seem to be enough. Even in the ship's highest point, the watching post, she would feel bad. The sea that was once merely an expanse of boredom now caused her nausea and forced the girl to avert her eyes. She would sometimes come to the deck, close her eyes and enjoy the breeze, trying to pretend she was in a clearing, back in the blessed earth, far from the waters and the ship. But then the floor under her feet would sway because of a wave and the spell would be broken, making her feel quite sick.

Staying in the railing was hardly the nice experience she had hoped for. Instead of sitting and relaxing, she stood still and stiff instead, fingers tapping the wooden structure frantically. She stared to her right, then her left and back and then ahead of her once more. Blue, blue, blue. Only the sea and sky everywhere around her. Where was the land? When would she see it again? She felt she should be somewhere else, anywhere other than here. She was trapped and just needed to leave –

Allen gasped, shaking her head and trying to calm her thundering heart. What was happening? She was feeling far worse than usual. The hand that had been lightly, albeit agitatedly, tapping the railing was now crunching it.

She forced her closed hand to let go, flexing now sore and stiff muscles. The anxiety had reduced a little, but wasn't completely gone. What was happening to her? She'd been here for a while, but never felt this level of discomfort. Was she… was she…

Becoming Komui?

The very thought made her shudder. No, no, this wouldn't do. She could visualize herself greening and locking herself in the bathroom for hours every day, and the very imagery made her sick. Not only it would ruin her quality of life, but it would also make her even more useless in the ship.

Allen knew she had showed a number of failures ever since joining the group. It wouldn't do to, on top of all that, show herself incapable of staying in the sea for long. Komui had a strong revulsion to travelling by water, but his skills and helpfulness far made up for it.

She wasn't so sure about herself.

::::::::::::::::::::

"We are going to anchor soon!" exclaimed Lavi days later as Allen, cliché as it may sound, peeled potatoes in the ship's kitchen. She was in the cooking duty today. "Relish, landlubber!"

She almost threw the vegetables in the air. "Really?" she asked in excitement.

"Aye!" the redhead answered with a huge grin, before picking a bread stick and biting on it. He must have just left the watching post if he was idling during work time.

"Where are we going to?" she wondered if that was the Accommodator searching mission. Allen was curious on how they would go about that.

"Foulness Island!" Lavi exclaimed with enthusiasm that didn't match his words.

Her eagerness dimmed a little. "What's with that name?"

"Heh, it is somehow related to wild birds and masses of land," he explained, but Allen was far from convinced. "Anyway, we're just going to drop by-"

"We aren't going to anchor in Foulness Island, Lavi," said Daisya, who joined them in the kitchen and also picked a bread in the basket. "Kanda said Southend-On-Sea is where the documents from Kamelot are going to work."

"Heh, since when does he care about that? I thought he would kick protesters out of his way as per usual. Or maybe Allen dear would turn dissenters into puddles of goo."

"Long live the Minister!" laughed Daisya, and they all chuckled at the memory. Kamelot must have had a rise in popularity in that city due to Allen's sugarcoating only.

"Wait," said Allen, "Southend-On-Sea is a part of England!"

"Indeed, lass. From there, we're going to London. Well, Krorykins and I are," Lavi said, scratching his eye patch in that way that made her flinch. "I don't think Kanda wants too many people to leave the ship's premises."

"London? We're just going to England, then? What about the Island of Foulness?"

"Foulness Island is a part of England. Do your geography homework, me beauty," Lavi said, and Allen reddened, while also feeling a little cheated. Had they travelled for a whole month just to end so close to her home? She expected to arrive in tropical America or something.

When, hours later, the ship finally anchored, ceasing most of its constant movements along with the waves, Allen let out a heavy breath. This past travel had been quite trying on her. She had done her best to hide her nervousness about being restricted to the ship, but the other exorcists had been sending her looks that clearly showed her pretense of comfort had been unsuccessful.

Watching as Komui did his traditional beach jump and feeling quite gleeful herself, Allen followed suit. The scientist seemed out of words at seeing her laying in the sand by his side with the same expression of elated relief, but it wasn't long before they were building a sand castle together.

"I grew to understand your pain," declared Allen solemnly as they erected a sand tower for their respectable construct.

Komui was teary eyed. "Oh, Allen, you are a woman after my heart-"

"WILL YOU TWO CUT IT OUT!" came Kanda's fearsome scream, and Allen almost jumped out of her bones.

"Oh, chill, will you!" Allen screamed back, and almost sent the captain a very rude hand gesture, before stopping herself just in time. That is not how I have been raised, she thought in horror, this man truly brings out the worst of me. So she settled for raising the Japanese a threatening, closed fist.

"Yes, you can't force us!" shouted Komui, who clearly had no such reservations when it came to offensive hand signals. As a former street child, Allen was impressed with his skill with them, actually.

Kanda seemed thunderstruck. So was the rest of the now silent beach, before everyone, exorcists and citizens alike, returned to their own tasks.

In the end, Lenalee had asked to have a turn to walk around with Allen. Kanda consented, as only Lavi and Krory would be travelling to London to do who knows what and the others would be around. Did the Japanese man have a soft spot for Komui's little sister? She couldn't imagine him liking anyone, but he did call Lenalee by her first name and wasn't too rude to her, only a little short. Before they left, Lenalee combed Allen's shoulder length hair and put a shiny hair clip on it. Allen protested, but it had no results, as the other girl insisted she used it for today.

To be honest, the white haired Exorcist was a little worried. She hoped Lenalee wasn't becoming attached to Allen as the image of a girly, feminine friend – and that was exactly what Allen thought was happening. Lenalee was becoming too close. While a new friend was always welcome, there was only so much she could do before she would want to go back to her androgyny. Things had been like that for more than a decade, and she didn't feel like changing that aspect of her life any time soon. It would be so much easier if the Chinese girl just treated Allen like one of the boys.

The girls started their small journey together. Having her feet over solid ground was enough to make Allen's mood better, though she still questioned the long travel that only made them return to England, so Lenalee explained that they had been circling a region in the sea that was unapproachable because of Innocence. The whole story had an air of mystery to it, but the Chinese girl clearly didn't want to elaborate and merely wished to enjoy their outing, so Allen didn't pursue details.

After hours of sightseeing and some shopping, they were about to enter a bookstore in the large public square when their excursion came to an end. All of a sudden Allen's eye activated, feeling an Akuma meters above them, most likely over some building. She didn't even have time to warn Lenalee before an attack hit the place they were at, but it seemed like she didn't have to. Lenalee had activated her Innocence, grabbed Allen and jumped out of the way of the attack just before it hit the place they stood at a second before. The girl's reflexes were impressive.

"What was that?" she asked, because she couldn't even identify what they had been attacked with, being able only to see the damage on the floor, that now had many cuts running over the pavement.

"Looked like a wind based, long ranged attack," said Lenalee, releasing Allen. "I can't believe we had the bad luck of finding Akuma. And in our first day in land, too! Where is it?"

"It is over there," she said, pointing to a building. Realizing it had been spotted, the Akuma left its hiding place, glaring at them from its advantageous position.

"I'll take care of it," said Lenalee, jumping towards their foe, and Allen analyzed the situation. Above the Akuma was a chained soul, in a state of damage that indicated a level two. It was painful to look at, but she had learned to manage to do so in order to assess the enemy.

Allen activated her Innocence. Just then she felt the presence of another Akuma in the exact opposite side of the public square, and she cursed. How many more would appear?

Deciding to deal with the newcomer as it would be dangerous to leave one Akuma alone, she advanced, hoping to be able to cut through it with her claw. It was too fast and managed to intercept her with a strange attack of cold fire, though. The mere graze of it made her skin hurt terribly, and she understood she would have to avoid it at any costs – this wasn't one of those fights where she could take the brunt of an attack in order to destroy her opponent.

Seeing as Lenalee appeared able to deal with her own adversary, she decided to focus on this one, who looked like a grotesque, melting doll. Fighting it shouldn't be too hard. Exorcising level twos was usually well within her abilities, and hopefully they would be able to deal with this fast enough so not much more of this place was destroyed.

The Akuma had very powerful attacks, but didn't have a good mobility. Allen attacked with her Clown Belt, and it hadn't managed to dodge properly, so it couldn't be a hard target to hit. Sure of this, she started invoking Cross Grave, doubting her opponent would be able to escape from it.

A gasp from Lenalee called her attention. To her horror, the girl's body was partially buried under a pile of debris, and the other Akuma was floating above her, ready to deliver a killing blown. Lenalee's situation was very much like Allen's when she fought that level three and had been saved by Tyki. Horrified by the idea of the other girl's death, she immediately turned her back to her current enemy, trying her best to reach it before it could hit Lenalee.

It was then that she felt the presence of a third Akuma, ever so close, but the Exorcist was so focused on Lenalee's fight she couldn't mind her own. A strange and powerful attack hit her fully. It was a novelty to her; there were no visible wounds, yet she felt her muscles convulsing, unable to obey her commands properly. Allen was hit by a second wave of sound. It hit her in a tormenting surge that shook her mind and made it feel like it was going to collapse. She was paralyzed and a physical hit threw her in the square's large fountain, sinking in the water and falling unconscious, unaware of Lenalee's screams.

::::::::::::::::::::

Lenalee woke up in a very uncomfortable position. Unknown objects poked her from all sides, and she could see nothing. Alarmed, she struggled, until whatever things covered her fell away.

They were boxes, she realized as soon as she managed to see again. Most were big, some taller than her and decorated like birthday gifts but, if the weight indicated anything, the contents inside were nothing but air. Walking away from the mess of fallen "gifts", she looked around herself.

The place she was in was very strange. If not for her habit to deal with things considered by many as extraordinary, she would have freaked out.

First of all, there was black everywhere. She would say the floors, the walls and the ceiling were all painted a solid black, if not for the fact that there was no way to distinguish them. She wouldn't even be able to separate up from down if not for gravity.

Scattered everywhere were many items that made her think this had to be what a young child's dream looked like, if not for all the darkness. There were other piles of gift boxes in many places, and also colorful pillows distributed around. Girlish furniture could also be found placed in random spots; a pink wardrobe here, a dotted sofa there, a purple bed covered in blue fabric with little hearts, and dozens more. Also many toys, tiny, small and giant could be found, and striped candles of the most different shapes and colors floated, their light the only thing allowing her to see. Distance was impossible to measure. She couldn't tell north, south, west or east, and couldn't imagine where this strange dimension ended, either.

"Allen?" called Lenalee, wondering whether the girl had been brought here, too. Long, silent seconds made her consider the possibility of being alone, until she heard a small sound that would usually pass unnoticed, but could be considered loud in this quiet place. A drop of water, and then another. She turned around, and saw a small puddle forming in the floor. A new drop fell in it, making it ripple in small waves.

She looked up to see what was the source of leakage, and was surprised by the sight of a person – Allen – meters above her.

The Exorcist was sitting in a stuffed chair of flowery pattern. Allen was almost impossible to recognize, if not for her trademark characteristics – the white hair and the facial scar. However, she looked absolutely different to her usual self. There was no sign of her usual jacket and trousers. Instead, she was clad in a summer dress, light blue in color and with delicate decorations. There were small bows over her pair of pretty white shoes. She was also adorned with things such as earrings and other jewelry, and there was a flower of the same color as the dress in her hair. It was still wet from when she was thrown in the fountain, and from it fell the water drops that were hitting the floor.

It was so strange but, at the same time, such a pleasing image… if not for the situation they were in.

"Allen?" Lenalee called from her spot meters away with uncertainty, but the British Exorcist didn't open her eyes. What in the world had happened?

"Doesn't she look better, now?" said a voice that came from where Allen was, but couldn't be her. From behind the large stuffed chair appeared a strange smiling face – Akuma? – that revealed itself to be a young child.

Or at least, it looked like one. Judging from the voice tone, the clothes and the height, Lenalee would say this was a young girl, about twelve years or so. From the neck below, she was quite normal, wearing a common white dress and black schoolgirl shoes with white stockings. But her whole head was covered by a mask of white fabric, where two eyes and a smiling mouth had been roughly drawn with some sort of pen or paint.

"These clothes of before were ridiculous, don't you think?" The girl or whatever it was continued, ignoring Lenalee's wary posture and analytical eyes. "With my help, she became much better, though. The hairclip, I decided to leave. Blue is always a nice color."

"Are you Akuma?" Lenalee asked, because who else would be this comfortable in this strange dimension?

"I'm not, how dare you?" said the girl, sounding indignant. She sat in one of the chair's arms, cradling Allen's head in her hands. Lenalee's heart was beating fast. What could she do? She couldn't let the unconscious Allen get maimed, but there was no way she could get rid of this strange person fast enough without risking hurting Allen. No matter the small size and childish voice, she could feel this person was dangerous. She just didn't know to what extent. "Here, I will show you once more what Akuma look like."

Pink and purple doors appeared out of nowhere, matching the juvenile theme of this bizarre place. Out of them, to Lenalee's horror, appeared four Akuma. Three of them were the ones that had attacked and defeated the two girls some time ago. Was there any chance Lenalee would be able to deal with them by herself? She could only hope Allen would wake up soon.

::::::::::::::::::::

Allen's forced sleep was disturbed by loud noises of destruction. "Lenalee," she gasped, because seeing her friend in terrible danger before blacking out was something she remembered with clarity.

"She's not too bad," said a calm voice by her side, "but there's only so much she can do against those four. And I can call in as many Akuma as I want, in the end."

"What are you…" said Allen, disturbed by the sight of the masked child who was so close to her she was almost sitting on the older girl's lap. The laugh of Akuma called her attention though, and she saw Lenalee was fighting not one, but four level twos. It wasn't truly a fight; she was clearly being toyed with by the monsters, and was in a bad state. Her blood splattered a large part of the ground, while only one Akuma seemed to have taken significant damage.

Allen jumped from the floating chair, not even caring about the peculiarity of it, or the scenario around her. The strange masked girl let out an 'eep!' as she lost her equilibrium and almost fell from the chair, herself.

"That is enough!" Allen screamed, running through an Akuma with her activated Innocence arm. The others, who had been too comfortable fighting against Lenalee and hadn't been prepared for a surprise attack, let surprised screams as their comrade was erased. The remaining monsters then proceeded to attack Allen with everything they had.

The Akuma she had just destroyed had been the one capable of producing sound attacks, but the other who generated wind blades and the one with ice fire were here, and she couldn't recognize the third. They eventually went back to their strategy of attacking them all at once, making everything very difficult for the two Exorcists to dodge, as Lenalee was already hurt and had her mobility severely compromised.

The third Akuma attacked her with a barbed whip. Allen barely managed to dodge it, but it almost hit the masked girl who was sitting meters away, missing her by a few centimeters. Allen startled. She had absolutely forgotten there was a third person in this place!

"You! Get out of there!" exclaimed Allen hurriedly, pointing at the masked girl. She just tilted her masked head in amusement.

"Allen, she is an Akuma!" shouted Lenalee. Really, that much was obvious; the 'girl' had never gotten hit, and had been enjoying threatening them for a long while. How could Allen think she was human?

"She is just a normal person," said Allen with certainty, both eyes, grey and black, staring at the laughing child.

"That is right, your eye…" said Lenalee. "But still, there must be a mistake! Why would a child be ordering Akuma around?"

The mysterious girl laughed. "There are humans, and there are special humans," she explained, as the floating chair where she was at slowly descended to the ground. She sat on it as if it was a throne. The girl's face was covered, but somehow Allen could feel she was smiling. With a snap of her small fingers, dozens of the striped colorful candles that floated above them turned pointy and sharp, morphing into daggers of hardened wax. Another movement from the young girl's hand had them pointing at Allen and Lenalee. They barely managed to escape. One of the candles hit Allen's arm, piercing through it painfully. Allen gasped and hoped it would start healing soon. She didn't have time to worry about such a superficial wound, but it was bleeding considerably.

This strange person clearly could control this dimension. Never before had Allen seen anyone having power over the supernatural, besides the Exorcists, the Akuma and the Earl himself. Lenalee gasped in exhaustion. Allen didn't know for how long the Chinese girl had been fighting before she woke up, but she was clearly close to the last of her energy.

Allen felt her own knees weaken, and she felt like she could collapse any time soon. The effects of the sound attack still lingered, and her tiredness only made it worse.

"Why… are you doing this?" panted Allen, struggling to stay up. "You are… human!"

"Yes, but that doesn't automatically mean I'm in your side. You are very cute, but I have my own friends, you know."

"Please stop that… you don't know what you're dealing with!"

The girl seemed bothered by what Allen said. "I don't know? I know much more than you, Allen. But that's fine. Every day, you can learn something new. Guess what?" she said, before turning to her right.

"Hey, you," said the girl to the doll like Akuma further away. "Self destruct!"

Both Allen and Lenalee widened their eyes at the command, but they were no more surprised than the Akuma itself. "M-Mistress! Why?"

"Ten," she said, to the horror of her ally.

"What are you…" started Allen, but the girl interrupted.

"An Exorcist who can see souls," repeated the girl, with a fake solemn voice. "When Akuma are destroyed by Innocence, the souls recover and fly far away to… wherever. But what about those who are killed by other means?" she asked, her voice growing giddy with excitement. "They are shattered! Allen Walker… whatever you see now, whoever you see now, is going to disappear in Dark Matter!" She start jumping in animation, before declaring, "nine."

Allen's eyes widened in horror, as she stared at what, for Lenalee, was nothing more than empty space over the Akuma's deformed head. She seemed truly horrified, and Lenalee had to wonder about the insane little girl's words. Could the other Exorcist really see the souls that were supposedly powering Akuma? Was this how she knew who was an Akuma and who was not?

No, she must have misunderstood.

"Eight, seven," the girl continued happily, as the pleading Akuma started gathering so much energy Lenalee could tell something terrible was going to happen just by looking at it.

Allen started to run in the direction of the Akuma, but Lenalee grabbed her arm. "Allen, wait! Can't you feel it? That thing is really going to…"

"Six."

"Release me!" screamed Allen in such an angry tone Lenalee almost did so. Almost.

"No way! It's dangerous, Allen, and if it is going to self-destruct, than what is the problem? It is our enemy!"

"Five. Four."

"Get your hands off me!"

"No!"

"Three. Two."

Lenalee suddenly felt energy coming from Allen herself, as her Innocence's cape extended and pushed her away. Allen jumped in the direction of the Akuma. The ground around it trembled with the constant release of excess energy that was going to be let out all at once soon. Perplexed at what was happening, Lenalee ran after Allen. Her boots were damaged but still gave her incredible speed, even if Allen was already far away. She struggled against her body's limitations, knowing she had no right to rest right now.

"One," said that voice she was learning to hate.

Lenalee grabbed Allen just as she jumped towards the Akuma, Innocence claws raised, because there wasn't time. Putting all her will in this move, the Chinese Exorcist jumped as far away from the exploding Akuma as possible.

"Zero."

The detonation was all she expected and more. It was so strong it was capable of causing damage to the abnormal black floors their battle hadn't managed to even scratch. The wave of wind and heat hit Allen and Lenalee before they even managed to land in the floor after the jump, making them fly even higher before finally falling painfully in the ground. Many of the toys and decorations around them had been obliterated in a large radius, splinters and pieces flying everywhere.

Lenalee stared at the crater where the Akuma used to be in horror. They had almost died. This wasn't the first time she risked her life, but being so close to meeting her end shook her soul to its very core.

Glancing at Allen, she didn't know what to say. The girl seemed far from happy from having escaped from death. Instead, she looked at the empty space the Akuma used to be in in horror. It was as if she was watching an horrible scene, and Lenalee just couldn't get it.

"Allen," she said, trying to call the girl back from her troubled thoughts.

"Why did you stop me?" whispered her, before her voice morphed into an horrible screech. "Why did you stop me?" she asked again, with such hate it was hard to believe that was coming from her mouth. Lenalee was scared for a moment, before that emotion morphed into boiling anger inside of her. Why, she asked?

It was when she felt stinging pain in the palm of her right hand and saw Allen's reddening face turned around that she realized she had slapped the white haired girl.

"Because you were going to die," Lenalee whispered angrily and brokenly. A disturbing laugh cut the moment short. That vile girl seemed thrilled with the outcome of her actions.

"This was more amusing than I expected," said the girl, before she got up from the chair. "Now, aren't you tired of messing with these petty things? Perhaps you'd like a real opponent-"

She was cut short, and that seemed sincere, instead of a mere farce. After some seconds of tense silence, the girl tilted her head. "Well, you won't believe it, but I'm being called home. Oh, it is too bad. I hope we can play again. I have all sorts of pretty dresses for you two."

And with that, incredibly enough, the girl turned their back to them nonchalantly. Doors grew from the ground once more, as colorful as the other items in this appalling place. They opened to what looked like different dimensions. The Akuma quickly left through their designated doors, while the girl walked calmly towards her own.

Allen was up and had her claws around the girl's neck in an instant. Lenalee was surprised. Allen had so much animosity in her face, now. Would she kill the girl she just said was not Akuma?

"You can't do it, can you, Allen Walker?" the girl asked too calmly, as if her death wasn't a squeeze from Allen's Innocence away. "You can't kill a human."

Tears fell from Allen's eyes, even if her expression never melted from that terrible fury, and she didn't move.

"You know, if you keep acting like this," said the girl, calmly prying Allen's claws away from her thin neck, "you won't have any friends. An Exorcist who cries because an Akuma dies? It just won't do."

She then walked away in the direction of the door and once she had passed through, all of the doors in the place closed with bangs and disappeared.

Lenalee looked around them, wondering how in the world they would get out of here. She had been so absorbed in that tense moment of farewell she had forgotten to try and stop the girl before she went away.

But as if cued by its master's disappearance, the world around them started collapsing. Cracks in the floor became holes and started swallowing everything. It was so fast they could do nothing but fall too, to who knows where –

And then they were back in the ruined city square.

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Allen felt sick. She had watched one of the worst scenes she'd ever seen in her life. She had seen a person die. No, more than that, that person had been destroyed.

She had been a second away from saving that person, but that wasn't enough. The chain that trapped spirits broke apart when the Akuma exploded, but instead of being released, the soul was swallowed away as it asked for help, staring at Allen and pleading with empty eyes that disintegrated with the rest of it. For a moment, she had a glimpse of the soul's original form. What kind of person had that woman been?

In that moment, more than anything, Allen wanted to stop walking. To break her promise and let go. What was the point of being alive, if she couldn't even save that single human?

There had not been much conversation between Lenalee and herself after that incident. Most of what happened had been hard to explain and they would have to report in the ship, but that was it. Lenalee didn't seem inclined to speak, and neither did Allen. Looking at the Chinese girl who walked by her side, Allen wondered whether they could really be friends. Lenalee had stopped her from protecting a person, she would have managed to save them –

Because you were going to die.

No, Lenalee, it doesn't matter, thought Allen. It was no excuse. Allen couldn't stand what happened and she wanted to blame something, someone other than herself, because she already had heavy weights of guilt on her shoulders and this new one would make the whole burden too heavy for her to carry.

It seemed there were situations where there was no help for the Earl's victims, and that changed Allen's viewpoint completely. She always thought everyone had a chance as long as they found the help of an Exorcist. The Earl could be destroying souls permanently right now, just out of amusement…

Help me!

The scream only Allen in the whole world could hear echoed in her heart and mind. She sobbed and felt more alone than ever.

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"Lenalee, Allen! Are you al…"

Reed's exclamation was cut short when he saw the state of the two exorcists. They both had tattered clothes and looked like they had been through hell, emotionally and physically.

"Hey, girls… what happened?"

He tried to help them, but Lenalee slapped his hand away and stood in a corner, and Allen was mostly unresponsive. Other people had already seen the girls and were already causing a commotion.

"Explain," said Kanda, even as he carefully assessed the two beaten up Exorcists.

There was silence, until it was broken by an angry and, at the same time, sad Lenalee.

"Allen is suicidal."

Allen's head snapped up at that, and she angrily stormed out of the room. She didn't want to talk to Kanda, Lenalee, or anyone else. Going in the direction of her cabin, the Exorcist didn't know what she would do when she got there. It wasn't like she would find any peace of mind any time soon.

Her wounds throbbed, and she reconsidered her course of action. It wouldn't do to be stupid and go to her room while this hurt. She didn't want to think of the lecture she would receive from Kanda if she did so. Turning around, she walked towards the infirmary, hoping Komui wouldn't ask too many questions.

"Allen! What in the world happened?" asked Komui worriedly. He seemed terribly disturbed, and Allen considered her appearance, strange clothes and battered body and all, and couldn't blame him.

"We found Akuma," she said predictably, because what else could leave her in this state? Komui looked horrified, and she knew what he wanted to ask. "Lenalee fought too, but I don't think she is in any danger. She will come here soon."

To his credit, Komui didn't storm from the room to find his sister, though he looked like he wanted to do exactly that. He started tending to her wounds with a pensive expression, while Allen tried to deal with the fact that there were some souls that would be forever beyond salvation.