Thorin stared tired at the rising sun. Two days had passed since Alyssae's departure and since that moment he had not slept a wink. Not only because he was afraid he wouldn't see Fili and her again, but also because increasing doubts were gnawing. How could he take care of a people if he wasn't even able to guide a group of fifteen persons from A to B? The hobbit had died, the wizard was gone – although he never had felt responsible for him – and the hope that Alyssae and Fili would return slipped through his hands.
Besides, the clock was ticking. When they did not reach Erebor before Durin's day, everything was lost and the ones who had passed away, had died in vain. He really loved the son of his sister, but he could not leave his people in misery because he was waiting on a family-member who was probably never coming back. He didn't want to give him up, but if there was someone who could find him, it was Alyssae. Her sight and hearing were much better than that of all of them and when she found him, they would travel to Erebor anyway.
He pushed away the thoughts about the elf, which brought up a pain he rather ignored. He was not sure how he felt about her, but he considered her as a full member of the group, even though it was hard to admit. He didn't know what was holding him back. Unless she proved to care about their wellbeing, she still was an elf and it was hard to put his faith into her hands. He trusted her, but less than every dwarf around him. Furthermore it was also some kind of self-protection. After all, when she would turn her back to them, she would crush many dwarf hearts – and, if he was honest, his own heart probably wasn't an exception. For that reason it was better when he didn't attach much value to her.
It felt like she had a magical effect on the group. Since her departure Bombur and Kili were sitting before the entrance to the woods, staring disheartened into the distance. Once in a while Bombur let go of his tears, which made Thorin feel very uncomfortable. He himself had search the hinterland the last days, looking for a sign of Azog, who was without a doubt still hunting him. Being busy kept his disturbing thoughts away, even though they overwhelmed him as soon as he tried to catch some sleep at night.
Yesterday Gloín had found some fresh footprints and had told him it wouldn't take long before they would be discovered. One more reason to leave in time. He would like to submit his decision to the others soon, but in silence he dreaded their reaction.

'We have to move on,' Thorin spoke when everyone was awake.
Kili looked at him in shock. 'What about my brother? And Alyssae?'
'Time is running out.'
'But we can't leave them behind.' Bofur glanced him upset in the eyes.
'We already did.' Fortunately Dwalin supported him. 'Right now we do nothing but wasting our time.'
'They know where we are heading for,' Thorin insisted. 'We might encounter them on our way.'
'As if we can cross the woods without Alyssae's help,' Kili sniffed.
Thorin stared at his nephew for a long time. It was clear the young dwarf still blamed him for trying to beat down the elf. He didn't really care about Kili's thoughts, since he hadn't experienced the fight that was going on in his head. He had been under a spell and if there was anybody who regretted the fact he had attacked Alyssae, it was him. He wondered if she had forgiven him. Would she have said that when she had whispered to him, right before she disappeared in the Mirkwood? He had thought about it for days, but he knew no elfish words and he hadn't dared to ask Balin. Maybe it turned out to be some kind of insult.
'Can we travel around the woods?' Nori wanted to know.
Balin shook his head. 'We'll never reach the mountain in time.'
Thorin sighed. He didn't look forward to go back into that moody forest, but he believed he had no choice.
'Furthermore there is a chance the enchanted forest will keep the orcs away from us,' Gloin pondered. 'They are close.'
'I rather fight with hundred orcs than going back into that sick forest,' Kili grumbled. 'There the enemy is invisible.'
Thorin glanced shortly at him, while he was torn apart by doubts. They needed the elf. She had been able to bring rest to their minds.
'Let us wait one more day,' Balin proposed.
Thorin stared at the horizon, almost expecting to see the dust-clouds of running wargs. It was just stay of execution. It was a tempting proposal, since he really wanted the two to come back, but he knew the chance was little. Too little.
Nonetheless he admitted to Balin's words. 'One more day.'
After those words he turned around and searched for seclusion. He took the map and stared at the lines, as if he hoped the paper would suddenly reveal a solution.

'Are you jealous?'
Thorin was startled by the sudden words in his head. He had drowsed off a little and looked around alarming. There was no danger to be seen.
The last days it happened more and more that rags of his conversations with Alyssae floated through his mind.
It was a question he was not able to answer. He was hundred and ninety-five years old now, and all those time had had lived in loneliness. Soon he would be on the throne – if that would ever happen – and there would be nobody with who he could share his thoughts. There would be nobody who laughed with him, ate with hem or kept his bed warm at night.
He wasn't jealous at Fili, since Alyssae was engaged to an elven prince and he wondered why she had asked the question. Had she expected an affirmative answer? Had she hoped for it?
His thoughts about her called confusing feelings, which he preferred to push away. Most of the time he succeeded to do so, but when he was confronted with the loneliness, they came back all of a sudden.
He had to admit he was quite shocked when he found out she was engaged, but he didn't want to draw conclusions from that. The idea still caused a strange feeling in his stomach, but he rather did not give it a moment's thought. He stood up and walked back to the others, convinced their voices would chase away his reveries about the elf.