This chapter was fixed by my wonderful beta OTrizy.

Quote: "When you came you cried and everybody smiled with joy; when you go smile and let the world cry for you." - Rabindranath Tagore

'This feels so weird...' I thought, blinking hard to clear my blurred sight. This action didn't help and so I closed my eyes in resignation to use my other other senses.

I became even more confused.

From what I gathered, I was lying on a squashy mat in a pleasantly smelling room; the scent was flower-like. The room was fairly quiet, disturbed only by a melody made ny some kind of music box. However, if I were to concentrate enough I could hear breathing sounds coming from the right. The maker of those was probably the baby I heard crying a few hours ago... and dreadfully enough joined him in his endeavors to destroy eardrums of whoever was present to listen to us.

After that, ehm, episode, I slept for who knows how long and when I next came to, I was lying in this room, wondering if it was possible to die of embarrassment. And I couldn't see shit, what the hell was wrong with my sight?

Additionally I didn't have the slightest idea of what happened with me before - I was rather a quiet crier, making sounds only when I was under the effect of a strong booze and even then I only sniffled. Crying loudly was very out of character for me.

Let's see... at that time there was a mess of thoughts swimming inside of my head, making me feel the mother of every a damn headache I've ever felt and that's counting all those damn hangovers, which wow what a feat. And as if that wasn't enough, my body felt weird. I felt too disoriented and dazed. There was this unbearable ache and feelings of loss... so when I heard cry of the child, I just... joined.

I guess I just overreacted? Geez, so lame.

Uhhh. Okey, I am just gonna forget that and move on more pressing matter.

The main problems is that I was currently in a unknown location, with some random child of uncertain age, and with no damn idea of how the fuck I got here. Oh, and of course I can't forget that there are some creepy giants here also, as if the situation wasn't complicated enough.

What was I doing before I woke up here? I think I was chased by some crazy bastards who didn't know when to give up and then I was cornered. Did they somehow defeated me, made me unconscious and drug me to the point that I was feeling like a human in the giant's care? Was that it? If yes, then... sure, I could work with that.

But what about the baby? It has to be a baby; it's cries were too high for it to be an older child. Did they plan to get information from me using that baby as some kind of bargain piece? Maaaan, that would be really fucked up. The baby was in no relation to me, of that I was pretty certain, but even if I had reputation of a heartless bitch, I still wouldn't be able to just look as they killed it in front of me or something. It was just an innocent baby...

It would be stupid and meaningless as well, considering that I didn't knew a lot of secret stuff. I wasn't a social butterfly – I had a few acquaintances sure, but they weren't too fond of me. I was told repeatedly that I am quite rude and inconsiderate person.
And my profession required of me 'Do not ask more than you need to' rule. If I somehow managed to overheard something I made damn sure to forget it quickly – I was the firm supporter of the opinion 'if it doesn't involve you, don't fucking stick your nose into it'. Oh, and I had bad memory in general too. I had good short memory I guess, but not long.

So yeah, I was useless outside of the driver seat, but I digress.

The confusion was slowly being sipped away by frustration. Thinking about what happened before, lead me to nothing but more questions... and really, my head was starting to hurt just by thinking about all these bizarre explanations for the mess I was in. Better to just observe and gradually unravel the mystery on the run. Winging it was always the best fall back strategy for me.

Nonetheless, there was still a little detail that I seriously wanted to figure out.

And that was... what's wrong with my eyes?! I've never needed glasses before, but now it felt as if I really, really needed some damn strong ones. Everything was blurred badly. It was very uncomfortable feeling, especially because my job heavily depended on my sight. I dearly hoped that they didn't permanently mess up my sight... livid me was not a nice person. Or particularly forgiving.

I glared at the air in front of me. The only thing I could somewhat see were blurred wooden bars surrounding me on all sides. Kind of like a cage... or a crib. The image of my grown-up self-trying to squash into the crib designated for small babies conjured a small, amused smirk on my face. Then I involuntary yawned as sleepiness washed over me.

The last thought floating through my mind before I was lulled into the dreamland by the lullaby-like melody, was: 'How come that I feel so awkward and uncomfortable in my body? Is that really the drug's effect, or so…me…thing…'

xXxXxXx

Okay, this was getting more and more ridiculous as days went on. I already spent there at least a month and I wasn't getting any closer to finding out what the hell was going on. And my situation was gradually getting worse.

The baby, who was still somewhere to my right, was currently happily cooing some nonsense to himself/herself. It was probably meant to be satisfied sounds because the giant-woman fed us moments ago. Yes, fed us.

My vision was still not at its best (small mercy that) but I was starting to see better and… and I wished I didn't. Just, just what the hell?! Was this... the feeding... was that some kind of torture? Because it was indeed mortifying and, and totally appalling! And I am not ever gonna open that can of worms called diapers. If they wanted to make me go crazy then good job, it was working.

And the worst thing was... even as I gradually descended into madness, I was slowly starting to feel comfortable and safe around those two giants. Those calm murmurs in that weird language of theirs... it felt nice.

I can't pinpoint, exactly, when the suspicion and fear changed into these feelings of safety and acceptance, it just happened somewhere between me waking up here and the day I realized I looked towards those daily visits that saved me from the boredom as I wasn't able to do anything except lying in one place all day except of those visit times. It was terrifying realization, because I didn't do trust. And they were my kidnappers as well... Stockholm syndrome, maybe?

Crazy, crazy... I was going crazy.

My nightmares didn't help I bet, true those were normal occurrence before, but just as small inconveniences. However now I spend most of my time sleeping, they were becoming a serious problem. And it wasn't only about those horrid dreams, because I got used to death over the years and so whoever died sure had it bad, but I didn't care much... The worst was waking up. When I woke up from those dreams, I feel intangible pain all over my body accompanied by crippling cold and I felt scared. It was abnormal, that was for certain...

My train of thought was interrupted when the female giant entered. I wanted to glare, I wanted to yell at her to go away, but as always, neither of those wants could be accomplished. Partly because the urges to do so weakened as days went on and also thanks to my inability to speak or even properly focus on one point with my eyes. Thanks inability, my situation is just fabulous.

I narrowed my eyes in the general direction of the woman, mustering my most intimidating grimace while doing so and as if she felt my gaze, she turned towards me. She paused on the spot and just stared at me, standing completely still. Heh, I guess I still could be scary if I-

She gleefully squealed.

Wait, what...?

Gibberish rushed out of her mouth as she ran up to me. I was caught off guard by the fast move and her reaction to my scary face, therefore I didn't register her face few inches from mine until after few seconds passed. And when I finally did, I embarrassingly enough jumped (or more like did a whole body twitch) with a squeak and I tried to run... or hide before she decided to eat me or something. However, instead of eating me the giant squashed me against her chest and babbled some more nonsense in her weird language.

Again, what.

She then ran out with me, only stopping for a bit to look over her shoulder at my baby-friend as if checking if he was alright. To where? I didn't know, but I was excited. This was my chance. I could finally gather some crucial information.

As she stopped in the hall of the house and loudly called for someone I discreetly looked around for clues. Though, I instantly stopped my search when I landed my eyes on a mirror that was few centimeters from me. It was an ordinary mirror that you could see in the hall of every household, but it caught my attention, because I needed to see how I looked after weeks of the imprisonment.

Thus I trained my bad eyesight at the mirror. What I saw in there made my head spin and my thoughts came to a rough halt. The image was blurry, my sight was still bad after all, but it was recognizable enough that I could see two adults talking with each other, standing in the homely decorated hallway. In the arms of the woman was a tiny little bundle. That bundle...

I was somehow distantly aware that the female of the pair stopped talking and was instead looking at me questioningly. Her tone was full of concern as she babbled to me. I didn't pay her any attention as I was too preoccupied with the image in front of me.

That bundle was me... and... and... Why the fuck was I a freaking baby?!

xXxXxXx

I didn't know what happened after that as I proceeded to freak the fuck out in my mind, completely stopping all interactions with the outside world. I usually wasn't one to have mental breakdowns, but surely becoming a baby (that didn't look like me at all, at that) deserved some kind of freak out, right?

If not and there was some kind of calm, default reaction for this... this, then I sure as hell wanted to know what it was. Right about now. Gimme points on how to properly handle suddenly becoming a baby. I will be waiting!

.. And I may be losing it a little in the meantime.

After who knows how long I somehow managed to get my shit together and go out of my head... to the sight of a doctor towering over me and pointing light-stick into my eyes, blinding me. Understandingly I did another body-twitch in shock and then rewarded him with my deadliest glare and angry garble - it was supposed to be something along the lines of 'fuck off' but sadly my mouth's muscles didn't agree with me on this one. Again.

He looked startled for a moment but thankfully took the point and stopped his efforts in completely blinding me. Instead, he turned with a frown to the right and started speaking with somebody.

I stayed silent and listened to them. I could deduce that he was speaking to two people, I couldn't see them in my peripheral vision and turning my head would need too much effort. One of them (male) was actively engaged in a conversation with the doctor., other (female) was making odd muffled sounds that suspiciously resembled sobbing.

Further inspections of the voices made me realize that they belonged to those two giants... who actually weren't giants at all, and it was just me who has shrunk.

Were they... Were they supposed to be caretakers of this body? Parents? Or, or something...? What the fuck happened to my old body?! Was this some kind of an experiment?

Wait. Those nightmares...

Now, I've never been the sharpest crayon in the box, but even I could put two and two together.

If, and only if, what happened in those nightmares was real and if the person who died was me... and now I was in the body of some random child. Did that mean that I died and... and... somehow, in some crazy way, managed to get reincarnated?

Now my beliefs about the 'other side' were sketchy at best. I was realist, bordering on pessimist by nature who didn't believe in an afterlife and gods but... I've probably became a living proof of the theory that there was a life after death and that you only changed body to continue... this was really forcing me to rethink my opinions.

...

I needed more time, alone time, to fully digest this.

Besides I shouldn't be distracted now when I was under the watch of the doctor, who I really didn't want to have prolonged interest in me. I disliked curious doctors who wouldn't mind their damn business and ask useless questions.

Keep your calm. Deep breath. Slooowly release it. Okay. I am and will be okay. I can do this. Just wing it as always.

I tuned my attention back to the conversation in the room. Without my notice, all three of adults moved from their spots to stand around me in a half-circle and were now looking down at me. Because they were leaning so close to me, I took this chance to examine the other two with my blurred sight as I didn't observe them closely before, quite dumb when I think about it now.

The woman, who I saw the most in my time spent in the crib (yeah, I was really sleeping in the crib. Okay. Okay. Great... don't think about it) was of a slim build and was smaller than the other two adults, which was even more pronounced by her leaning onto her husband(?) so much. She was probably quite a beauty with her big green eyes, small nose and her long black hair done in a side bun. Eh, wait, her hair weren't black... but dark green? ... not even commenting on that. This situation was bizarre enough. Totally not surprised by that color. Toootally

The man, on the other hand, looked completely average. He was tall but not overly so and his body structure was more on a thin side. He wore black square glasses that obstructed his brown eyes. His cheeks were adorned by sprays of freckles that stretched even over his nose. His bland face was surrounded by straight light brown hair that ended at his chin.

They immediately noticed that I was giving them my full attention and their grave expressions brightened and turned into relieved ones.

Were they scared of a well being of this body? They were probably this body's... parents. Haaa, this was so complicated. Was I supposed to treat them as my parents now? It wasn't like I wanted to cling to parents of my... previous life. God no, I didn't care about those sorry excuses of parents. It was just.. the thought of complete strangers playing a very big part in my second chance at life and not having a choice in deciding if I let them play... it wasn't very appealing.

I was a very distrustful person. I was like that from a very young age as far as I can remember there was no point in my life where I wasn't. Part of it came from my family and other from the neighborhood I grew up in. And probably something in me as well. I started to be a little more open-minded when I met my best friend but then he died (it still hurt, so, much, even after so many years) and the prison thing happened, then having the lifestyle I had... yeah very distrustful person there.

Don't take me wrong, being overly careful wasn't a bad quality to have, exactly the opposite actually, as it helped me survive as long as I had. However in this situation, where I would need to put my trust into these strangers and to believe that they will take good care of my small body... Well, it was certainly a problem I will have to dealt with if this was a real thing now... this second chance (what did I even did to deserve it? I wonder...)

For now I will try to play a role of ordinary baby to the best of my abilities and in the meantime I will observe and evaluate those two until I'll find every important thing I could and after that... well after that, we will see.

My thoughts may be a little cold but I was giving them a chance at least. Not a lot of people got that from me. And really... I was quite nice now in comparison to all those other times I was cornered. I have a very nasty temper when I feel threatened. I was acting calmer now, probably because I was still in shock from all these revelations... and maybe because I was a little curious about the other child.

He/she was my sibling... right?

My feelings about him/her were an interesting tangle of longing, sadness, and curiosity.

I was an only child in the past, but I had my best friend who took the role of younger sibling very well. He was someone I always had to look after because he was bound to get into trouble without me (not that I didn't get into troubles myself, but I knew how to get out of them). He was a handful, quite exasperating sometimes, but I guess that made our bond so much real and important. Because somebody needed me as a person and not for what I was able to do.

I... maybe I could have that again? I didn't know what gender the child was. And it wasn't like somebody could replace him, but I...

I didn't know what to feel. I didn't know what to do. I didn't know what I was supposed to feel and do.

I knew one thing for sure though; this time I wouldn't let death steal anybody from me.

xXxXxXx

'Sooooo bored...'

After we came back from the hospital, things returned back to normal. I slept. I ate. I... I think I didn't have to say what other thing I did. Bloody hell, diapers were so uncomfortable, especially when they were full. I've even stopped to feel embarrassed for being loud crier after few days because full diapers SUCKED.

My program when I was awake consisted of lying in my crib and looking at the wall, sometimes I managed to flip over and lie on the stomach and then proceeding to glare at the pillow - not entirely throughout I admit.

And that was it.

If somebody ever wondered if it was possible to die of boredom... I think I will soon prove that yes, it was fucking possible.

I didn't even see the other baby yet - okay, that was an exaggeration I saw some of him/her but it was only short glimpses that didn't tell me much about him/her. Or about the gender at the least.

Oh! And before I forget... I had my own toy too. It was a brown plush bear with a yellow ribbon around its neck. I decided to name it Mr. Bear... okay, I have horrendous naming sense, however in my defense I didn't really need it before.

A-anyway! What was I talking about? Boredom! Yeah.

The life of a baby (yes baby, I was a baby, reincarnation was a thing, still not fully over that fact) was mind-numbing. Nothing happened and because of that, I was left alone with my depressive thoughts and boredom. Truly excellent companions... can you feel my sincerity? No? Me neither.

As if summoned by my bored state, a woman entered our room. It was our... mother. Still weird to call her that, but I guess she was starting to rub on me... a little. Her smile was an incredible little thing, so sincere and bright. It felt nice to have something like that directed at me. And her eyes were so expressive and full of love. Actually her whole being expressed just how much joy my pure existence brought to her. And... not gonna lie, it felt fucking good to be wanted. I didn't feel so appreciated in over a decade. She slowly, bit by bit continued to bypass my shields and I didn't even mind.

On the other hand her husband... I still wasn't finished with his evaluation. On one side I knew that he loved his family, that was too easy to see. However over past months, he started to appear less and less and today it was a full week since I last saw him. In his visits, he had a smile on his face too, however it was absentminded and wistful kind. It felt like he was looking at me through the transparent wall, like there was an obstacle between me and him. After his departure from our room, I always felt torn up between this body's instinct to cry when feeling uncomfortable and my own frustration at not being able to read the man fully.

Back to our mother though, like always she went to see my sibling first as he/she was the fussier one out of the two of us. Then after she got the usual happy gurgling sound in response, she reached into the crib to lift him/her into her arms.

I observed her movements with keen eyes. Taking in the way she carefully but firmly held her child, how her smile widened just a tiny bit when she was lightly slapped by the little being in her arms, how she made sure to spoke slowly, even though it was impossible for my sibling to understand her.

Involuntarily I felt the fond feeling in my chest to grow. Did I mind? I couldn't say yes to that... not when I was waiting so eagerly for her to pick me up next. Geez, this was cheating... but you know what? I give up, her cheat-ability was too great.

I hummed a bit to draw attention to myself. I got bright smile as a reward and pat on the head.

She started to speak to both of us now. Still in the same slow pace and calming tone and as I somewhat started to perceive and distinguish words spoken to me during past months I deciphered a little of what she told us.

There was my name for one. Kou-chan. I didn't know what the meaning of the name was but I planned to find out. It sounded quite nice, definitely better than my old one. Other words I was somewhat able to identify were 'sleep', 'play', 'good' and my sibling's name that was Izuku-chan.

Soo... something about playing and being good? As if I always didn't do that. I was good in being a good baby. Scarily good, maybe this was my other talent in this life beside being a drama-queen? Should I become an actor in this life?

Wait, why was she going away?

With me thinking about my new talents and about the ways I could utilize them, I didn't notice her slowly moving away and out of my sight until she nearly slipped from my peripheral vision.

I grunted, confused by her action. This never happened before... But I wasn't about to complain as this was the event I was waiting for, something new was happening to alleviate me of my boredom.

I turned my head to the right to see her when I lost her from my sight completely. She went all the way to the corner of the room and crouched next to some kind of... rubber barricade? Why did I never noticed THAT before? It couldn't be overlooked with its bright green color. Shit, I seriously needed to practice these body's observation ability, it sucked.

After doing there what she wanted (putting my sibling in there) she swiftly rose and with cheerful attitude walked over to me and picked me up. Then she walked over to the barricade and dumped me in there, next to my sibling.

I blinked few times to shook out the shock that came with such a sudden change of scenery. Once done with that I looked around me. We were in some kind of mini playground. There were small plastic balloons, jigsaw puzzles, wooden blocks and similar things. The 'playground' was fenced by thick green rubber walls on all sides.

Suddenly something fell between me and the other child. Further examination of the objects identified them as two plush toys. One of them was my brown bear; the other one was a gray bear with a white-green checkered ribbon around its neck. I frowned, how did their mother get them so fast...

I lifted my eyes from the two toys to land them on the baby sitting next to me... no, we were already nearly toddlers from the looks of it. Was I there for so long already? That was... crazy, stunning and incredible fact. I was seriously awed by my ability to stay alive and not dying of boredom.

We still didn't have our first birthday though, that would truly be my first milestone in this life.

Tilting my head, I started to examine the little person in front of me. Looking at his blue overall, I finally discovered the gender of my sibling. I had a brother.

I felt happy, but at the same time, I did not. Was I even making a sense?

His appearance was similar to our mother's, the only thing that I could see he had from father was little sprays of freckles on his cheeks. Though one thing was certainly a surprising addition to the appearance of my brother. It was a curliness of his green hair and again I will not comment on the color, nothing can surprise me anymore. Those curls.. even though they were still relatively short they were already sticking out into all directions. I was curious from whom he obtained his... interesting hair. It was probably from our grandparents or something.

As if sensing my stare he looked at me too, his green eyes started to assess me with child's curiosity. I tried to send him a small smile, but as it was so long ago since I last tried to smile (and not once in this body) it came out stiffer and probably scarier than I intended. Considering his reaction? Definitely scarier.

His eyes widened with some emotion I couldn't distinguish (children were weird with their emotions) and his chin started to tremble. I quickly recognized signs he was showing and with growing trepidation I clumsily reached for the bear I guessed as his. With it in hand I stretched my limb towards him, the plush holding same importance as a peace offering would.

His gaze traveled from my nervous expression to the toy held in my hand and back at my expression as he took all of me in. He looked unsure for a moment, however in the end he decided to hesitantly reach for the offering.

I was absently aware that our mother somehow obtained a camera without moving away and now was busy taking photos of us and making happy squeals.

As our hands touched, both of us holding the gray toy on the opposite ends, I felt this unusual feeling of familiarity. It strangely reminded me of the moment when I was dying and seeing an illusion of my dead friend. I lifted my gaze from the toy we were clutching and looked at my brother. Really looked at him. I hungrily took in all of those little details on his face from his small nose to freckles that adorned his cheeks.

For what I was not ready and what hit me with a power of moving truck was a moment when smile started to bloom on his face. It lighted his face in a way that I only saw on one person. That smile, that smile was awfully similar as his.

No... it wasn't only the smile... the feelings it gave off were similar too.

I was unprepared. Unprepared to see those resemblances. Unprepared for the onslaught of suppressed memories, both sad and happy.

Because of my unpreparedness, uncontrolled emotions exploded in me. Big chaotic fireworks were blowing in my head creating a nonsensical clump of memories that came from my first and second life. Two smiling faces were entangling into one and creating a new image - however, this process caused face on the image become warped and distorted.

I dropped the plush and instead of it clutched the front of my yellow T-shirt. My insides were clenching painfully and my breaths were coming out in short shallow puffs. I was aware, that I was going into a panic attack, I experienced a good number of them before. But truth be told... I didn't care.

I didn't care that I could die again if I didn't calm down and continued like this.

I didn't care that my mother was anxiously fretting in place, sobbing into her phone and probably on a verge of panic attack herself (the truth is that I cared but not enough to calm down).

I didn't care that I was scaring and probably traumatizing my brother and that-

...

Wait.

...

No, that was wrong. That was so so wrong. He shouldn't be scared of me. He shouldn't. It.. it... he was my brother, wasn't he? He shouldn't.

My breath was still irregular and my heartbeat probably too, but instead of drowning in my thoughts I was now focused on the face in front of me. He looked terrified. His eyes expanded to the largest size possible and his mouth, that was just seconds ago stretched into a beautiful smile, had now collapsed into a tight grimace.

For a second everything was silent. Even our mother's anxious sobbing stopped.

And then we both started bawling. Big pear-like tears were rolling from our clenched eyes, snot running out of our noses and cries sharply rupturing the previous silence in the room.

One cry was that of the scared child calling for his mother. The other was anguished wailing of a confused child-adult.

Aaaand END~!

So... did you like it? Was it too confusing? Too fast? Well, if this was fast/confusing for you, just wait for chapter 10. That is a fast-paced chapter.

OC's name is Kou, with writing like this 光 which means "light, ray,".