'Let's find Fili,' Kili insisted and Alyssae had to agree. His brother was more important than whatever disagreement with Thorin. 'Alyssae found his sword nearby.'
'Let's go in couples,' Bofur proposed, which neither was a bad idea.
'We'll go together,' Alyssae decided. 'Since last time the enchantment had the biggest influence on you.'
Before the dwarf prince could protest, Alyssae's fingers enclosed his wrist and she dragged him along. Her fingers tingled where their skins made contact and she let go of him when he didn't seem to raise protests.
She was surprised, but she was glad he finally behaved wisely.
'Mind the way back!' she yelled over her shoulder to the others. 'When you start to doubt, you have to go back immediately!'
Without saying anything, Alyssae brought Thorin to the place where the young dwarf had fallen down. There were many things she wanted to ask him, but decided this was not the right moment. If he would walk away angry again, he might be gulped down by the magic of the wood.
'How many days have passed since I left?' Alyssae asked softly.
'Almost four days.'
Her heart sunk. That meant Fili was exposed to the sorcery for a long time. Even when they would find him, he wouldn't be the same.
'We have to cross the river.'
Thorin looked pensively at her. Although Alyssae had moved through the trees in the first place, she knew that was impossible now the dwarf was with her. A passage through the water was too dangerous, because there was a heavy stream and the roaring waterfall was close.
'Do you think Fili crossed the water?'
Alyssae avoided eye contact. Actually she didn't dare to say what she was really thinking, because she had suppressed that fear the whole time.
'I am afraid he has fallen into the water and drowned.'
She bit on her lower lip. Now that she had spoken the words, it seemed much more definitive.
'It's just… I couldn't say it when Kili was around. When we search this area and find nothing, we may suggest this option carefully.'
She looked hesitated at Thorin, but to her surprise he didn't seem very affected. She however did see a mournfulness in his eyes which caused goose bumps, but it seemed as if he had accepted Fili's fate a while ago.
'You obviously don't think otherwise,' Alyssae mumbled. 'Is that the reason you left?'
She didn't intend to bring this subject up in the first place, but she felt a little disappointed because the dwarves had left her to die.
'We didn't want to lose more time.'
Alyssae tried to catch his eye, but she got the feeling Thorin tried to let that not happen.
'Lose time?'
'Nevermind.'
Alyssae stared at him in disbelief. It was clear he still kept silent about some things.
'No. I don't want to be treated as an inferior any longer.'
Thorin sighed. 'Do we have to do this now?'
She shrugged. 'There is no point in breaking my neck when I suspect you to leave me behind whenever it suits you.'
He rolled his eyed irritated. 'How much times do I have to tell you I don't hate you?'
Alyssae couldn't help her cheeks turned red. She felt like a little child that was looking for approval the whole time, but she couldn't change her uncertain feelings.
'You don't always behave that way.'
'I was convinced you would find Fili and that you would travel to Erebor together.'
Alyssae looked the other way, not knowing if he was disappointed in her.
'I am sorry I betrayed your trust,' she mumbled.
She did not look at him but pricked uselessly with her sword in the ground.
'I think you had higher expectations of yourself then we had.'
Carefully she glanced at Thorin. He didn't sound angry.
'You never expected me to find him, huh?'
The dwarf shook his shoulders. 'I hoped so, but that hope declined when time passed by. Frankly I hadn't suspected to see you back at all.'
Hopefully Alyssae looked into his eyes, although she didn't know where she was looking for. An immense joy?
His face didn't show the slightest emotion, which shouldn't surprise her.
'I don't understand why you went back into Mirkwood after that attack of the voices the last time.'
'We had no choice if we wanted to maintain lead of the orcs.'
A shiver crept along her spine when she thought back about her dream.
'I dreamed you were all dead,' she whispered while she stared at the ground. Tears itched her orbits. 'I thought it was a vision.'
She looked up hesitating and saw Thorin studied her face distantly. She longed for his arms around her, but she knew she was on the way with the only dwarf who would never do that.
'Well, we're still alive.'
Thorin glanced around, as if he wanted to let her know they were looking for Fili and that there was no room for nightmares.
Alyssae straightened her shoulders, but she still knew he hid something from her, although he probably thought the conversation had led away from the subject.
'The orcs weren't the only reason you left us behind, huh?'
The reactions of the other dwarves had given away that not everyone had stand behind Thorin's decision. Nobody's life had been at stake.
'We have to reach the mountain before Durin's Day,' Thorin let her know while his eyes searched the river bank, although they both knew they wouldn't find Fili. 'Only then we can find the door.'
'And when is that supposed to happen?'
Thorin turned his face away. 'Just a few weeks. We don't know how long the journey will last, so every moment we are detained might stand in the way of our return.'
Alyssae nodded understandable, glad he had trusted her. Still she was eager to know how they wanted to slay a dragon, but that was something for later. First they had to leave this forest.
'Should we go back?' Alyssae proposed.
Thorin was silent for a moment, but then agreed. She felt a lump in her throat when she saw a glittering tear in the corner of his eye, but he winked it away quickly.
'Fili was your successor, wasn't he?' she asked softly.
She suddenly realised he hadn't fathered posterity himself.
The dwarf prince nodded once and sighed. 'Probably.'
She wondered which thoughts had wandered through his mind when he concluded his nephew and successor had feelings for her – an elf. Would he have feared that she would reign his kingdom?
While they turned around she looked at the dwarf from the corners of her eyes. Would he be bothered by the fact he had raised no children? Was that one of the reasons which made him so dreary? For a moment a thought flashed through her head, where his hand was laying on her swollen belly, while he smiled proudly at her. She gasped for breath because of that sudden image and she looked at him shyly, as if he could have heard her thoughts. She felt ashamed and very uncomfortable in his presence again.
'Are you alright?'
Thorin's eyebrows had changed into a seldom, caring frown and she didn't know what to answer. Supposedly it was visible she was battling her own thoughts.
'Yes,' she jabbered confused. 'I just thought about us and -'
In shock she cut off her sentence. Where did those words come from? What had come over her that she said those things loudly?
'You were -'

Alyssae would never know what Thorin thought of her unthinking statement. Suddenly something heavy fell upon her, because of which she lost her balance. Anxious she grasped Thorin and she landed on the dwarf.