Present - LEP Headquarters

"Why don't we start at the beginning?" the officer offered.

"What constitutes a beginning highly depends on your views on causality. Personally, I prefer to start my stories in media res. I wouldn't want to bore you with exposition."

The officer sighed. He had hoped to go home hours ago. While they had drawn straws, agreeing to record an official statement had seemed like a relatively straightforward assignment given the chaos that had enveloped the LEP over the past 48 hours. Then again, that was before he had known he was going to have to take said statement from the Artemis Fowl II. He cracked his neck hoping to hide the slight tremor that had taken hold of his voice.

"Fine, where do you consider the beginning to be Fowl?"

A trace of a smirk appeared around the lips of the frighteningly pale figure seated across from him, and Crisp Pearson, a 125 year vet of LEPIntel shivered. If the height wasn't off-putting enough, the cold mismatched eyes did the trick.

"Would the murder of Chairman Cahartez be amenable to you?"

"Yes, do enlighten us. When did you learn of Cahartez' assassination?"

"Around the time the LEP had decided to have me arrested" Artemis replied, not missing a beat. Crisp merely gulped, as the Irish youth began to outline the events of the past two days, addressing the one-way glass screen, mercifully behind Crisp.

48 hours ago - The Lower Elements Council Building

The building was too old, and it had been far too long since it had been renovated, Cahartez thought silently to himself. The columns, Doric in nature, were the only sign that the center of power in Haven had been affected by recent trends in architecture, above or below ground. Standing slowly, and feeling the weight of his age, he began to put away the grants, appeals, and white papers that troubled the minds of the eldest members of the Council. It was late, he realized, far later than he intended to still be working. The building would be empty, or nearly empty, aside from cursory security. But that was all automated now. Cahartez knew he should thank Foaly; there hadn't been a break-in since the centaur had connected the buildings' security to his network, but Cahartez missed the guards with whom he had spent nearly half a millennia building a rapport. Locking his office, and strolling across the lobby he idly wondered if he had any curry left in his fridge when his attention was suddenly caught by another pair of footsteps. Initially alarmed, he calmed when he recognized the elf accosting him.

"You again. What are you doing here?" asked Cahartez.

"You ought to know"

Suddenly a shot rang out piercing the still Haven air. Cahartez crumpled to the floor. The drafts in the building were certainly getting worse, he thought, as his vision dimmed.

46 hours ago - LEP Headquarters

"D'arvit Trouble, do you know what time it is?" Holly asked.

"Unfortunately I do. I wouldn't have called you here if it wasn't an emergency. " Trouble took a second to scan the windowless fluorescent conference room and observe the weary officers he had managed to gather. "There's been a break in at the Council. Cahartez is dead. Our only lead is that our surveillance of the area mysteriously shut down last night 35 minutes before the incident, allowing our suspect to escape undetected. Otherwise there is no evidence of a security breach. The guards stationed out front reported nothing unusual."

Allowing time for gasps to subside, Trouble continued: "Obviously now would be a good time for our chief technology expert to explain how our perp simply walked into the most secure building in the Lower Elements."

Foaly grunted. He was vexed. "The system is secure. I don't understand this any better than you do. Whoever got in entered with a badge. There's no other way…I would know if my network was that compromised. Nobody in Haven would've been able to execute something of that magnitude."

"And yet, Cahartez is dead. Nobody sure seems to have got the drop on us big time" said Trouble.

"Excuse me sir" Crisp piped up. "You said nobody in Haven. Perhaps it's someone outside of Haven. Someone outside of Haven who has a reputation for routinely getting into LEP surveillance."

Holly's head turned. She had been shocked by the brazenness of the attack and had been paying only intermittent attention to the discussion at hand. Still, she recognized the elder officer's comments for what they were and her stomach suddenly sank.

"Fowl" Trouble said, chewing on the name.

"Several artifacts are missing, many of them solid gold" Grub Kelp added quickly.

Trouble stared at his younger brother, surprised at his input.

"That could establish motive. Thank you Corporal. Cahartez wasn't supposed to be there, he was working late. It could have been a robbery gone wrong. The use of a human gun is making me think the mud whelp might be involved after all"

"It doesn't make sense" Holly interjected, rather heatedly. "Why would Artemis start robbing us after saving our lives."

"Holly." Trouble looked tired. "Why does Artemis do anything. Maybe he's bored." He turned to Foaly, "Is there a chance that Fowl was able to compromise your system?"

"It's…it's possible Commander. I don't think he would, nor do I think it's likely. But it is possible." Foaly looked glum, and Holly couldn't tell if that was from concern for their most difficult mutual friend or from the admission that his network might not be secure after all.

Trouble considered this for a moment.

"Your orders, Captain Short, are to bring Fowl in so we can question him. Tell him a story, tell him we need his help figuring this out. I want him to come quietly. I will see what the Council wants done with him, but until then he's our man. Don't forget, Holly, be careful. I know you and him have been close recently, but he's dangerous." Trouble's tone was at once accusatory and concerned.

"But Artemis is still recovering, there's no way…" Holly started to interject.

"The mud whelp, Captain Short, is a dangerous criminal. Either you bring him in quietly or I send in a full retrieval team ready to wipe him on sight. Cahartez is dead. This isn't a game anymore. You have your orders. Everyone else, keep your communicators on, but until further notice you are all dismissed"

Holly fumed. She knew her commander was wrong, but felt like she had little choice. She steeled herself for the deception that was to come. Still, it was for his own safety she thought, hoping that he would understand while knowing that he would not. She strode out of the room loudly, abruptly passing a guilty looking Centaur and 8 assorted LEP personnel staring at her before slamming the conference door behind her, without so much as uttering a word. After she was out of earshot, a private whistled softly. After all, it wasn't every night that you arrested Artemis Fowl.

Present - LEP Headquarters

"How am I doing?" Artemis asked, cooly.

"A little dramatic" Trouble interjected over the intercom. Artemis smirked. He had figured the commander had been listening in. Along with half of the LEP.

"But not wrong" Artemis countered. Crisp rolled his eyes, then gulped as Artemis' focus returned to him.

"One more thing about that night Fowl, how did you know that Holly was coming to arrest you?"

Artemis leaned back contemplating the direction he wanted the story to go. He had always been fond of the epitasis in Aristotle. In other words, he was just getting to the good parts.

to be continued...