Alyssae cried the most crude curses while she cut warg flesh and stripped the orcs from their arms and legs. From head to toe she was covered with blood and it was even in her eyes and mouth. Her arm was stunned by the lashing of her sword, but there was no way she would lower it. This time she wouldn't stop before she was dead. She was ready to die with the dwarves if that was required.
Now and then she was still weeping and she tried to avoid the sight of the mutilated bodies. She was staggered by their departure, although they both had family members who had a greater right to weep. The injustice that had happened to these dwarves was too much to comprehend. They had been chased away from their homeland and they had left behind their families to take back what belonged to them. And now they were overrun by a pack of orcs, who didn't even know why they were attacking dwarves.
Even when the last orcs had fled or killed, she clutched her sword with a visceral hatred. The tears kept running down her face while she kept repeating her curses. Her breathe resembled hyperventilation and she was afraid she would pass out again, but she felt so empty inside that even rampage was very welcome.
Finally she fell on her knees and she stared staggered forward. To the dead body of Bifur, whom was held by a sobbing Bombur. To the motionless body of Dwalin, next to whom the old wise dwarf had kneeled down. Alyssae bended her head and her tears disappeared between the dead leaves. With her bloody hands she clawed through her hair, while she inhaled screeching. They hadn't been her best friends, but they had been part of the group. Part of her.
Maybe she would have felt less depressed if she hadn't been searching for Fili for five days, or wasn't almost used as a spider meal or hadn't been stuck in an enchanted forest, but everything seemed lost now and she wondered what the point was of all this.
Alyssae heard someone cleared his throat and she turned her face aside. Thorin had kneeled next to her, but as soon as she saw his red eyes, she started to cry again, knowing they could have been here in time when they had left as soon as Lotus had patched her up. Thorin however blamed her for so many things that this must haunt him as well.
'I know this is my fault, but please, don't be angry,' she whispered. 'I – can't handle it now.'
Her shoulders hung and she tried to fight the tears again, but she didn't succeed.
'Calm down,' his voice sounded in her ear. 'This isn't your fault.'
She closed her eyes when he wrapped his arms around her. Alyssae clutched at him and she leaned with her head against his chest, for the first time glad he was so small she could lean against him while sitting.
Hesitant Thorin caressed her hair, although his fingers got entangled in one of the many knots. Now and then a warm tear dropped on her auricle, whereby she knew she wasn't the only one who was stung to the quick by this terrible event.
When Alyssae had become a little calmer Thorin let go of her. His concerning eyes met hers and for a short moment she had the feeling she was somewhere else. The feeling disappeared however when she heard Bombur's horrible sieves.
'Thanks,' Alyssae whispered, although he would never understand how much this gesture meant to her. She raised and ignored her demonstrating muscles.
She walked to Bombur and led him away from his cousin. She took over Thorin's role while she tried to calm down the dwarf.
Bombur seemed to get a little calmer by her presence, but she would never be able to take away the grief.
For a long time they cried together in silence, until turmoil arose because Dori discovered a respiration by Dwalin.
Alyssae left Bombur with his brother and she ran to Dori. She kneeled down next to Balin and leant over Dwalin's face, which was fully covered with blood because someone had cut off his ear. She found indeed a weak breath that filled her heart with hope. Dwalin however looked so battered she was afraid it wouldn't take long before he would breathe out his last breath.
'Can you heal him?' Kili asked in despair.
Alyssae shook her head. She felt terrible – she was probably the worst elf ever, but she had no idea how she had to treat an injury like this and she wished she had paid more attention during her education.
The gift didn't suit her, but she knew for sure she could have saved the dwarf if she had had more persistence.
'We have to find the elves,' she said to Thorin, who didn't disagree now his friend was near death and he had witnessed Lotus's healing powers.
'The elves?' Kili repeated with a frown.
Alyssae nodded at the body of the elf. 'She was looking for us. Fili – Fili has sent her.'
All dwarves seemed surprised and hope flashed in their eyes. Even Thorin stared at her with open mouth, but she shrugged and hoped Fili was awake when they arrived. If that would ever happen…