A day had passed by since Alyssae had awakened, but she still hadn't seen anybody but the doctors and Thranduin. He was really sweet, but she couldn't help to feel a little oppressive. She had asked for the dwarves so that she knew they were all right and that Dwalin had awakened in the meantime as well. It made her doubt nobody had visited her and when she heard the umpteenth dwarf voice, she threw away the blankets and opened the door.

Fili and Gloin stared at her, but none of them walked towards her. Fili even turned around and descended the stairs. Alyssae stared staggered at him.

'What's going on?' she asked the other dwarf baffled, who ignored her bluntly and stepped into Dwalin's room.

Alyssae hesitated. Was it better to follow his lead or would it be more helpful to go after Fili? She hadn't seen him in days and she didn't understand why he had walked away.

She choose the last option and ran down the stairs. It didn't take long before she was out of breath and she had to grasp the railing.

'Fili!' she yelled.

He stood still when he heard her calling, but he didn't return. She moved on hobbling, but when she approached him he turned his face away.

'What's going on?'

'You better tell me.'

His voice sounded so embittered she shrunk. A few elves looked suspiciously at them, as if they wanted to let her know she should still be in bed.

'I don't get it! Aren't you happy to see me?'

Tears had jumped into her eyes. She really wanted to embrace him, but she was certain he would push her away.

'If I wanted to see you, I had came to you, don't you think?'

His voice sounded cold as ice, but he avoided her eyes, making her doubt that was really true.

'But why didn't you?' she whispered desperately. 'I wished for days to find you and I've been scared to death when I found your sword!'

Fili moved with his feet uneasily and Alyssae realized she'd created an opening to talk – although not here on the stairs.

'Come with me.' She grabbed his wrist and dragged him along, until they found a quiet place between the trees, where they wouldn't be disturbed by others. 'Well, what happened? Why did nobody come for me?'

'Thorin prohibited us to do so,' Fili muttered.

Those words needed some time to reach her. Since the dream she'd had yesterday she already felt ashamed by even hearing Thorin's name, but this hurt her really deep. Would it always be this way?

She glanced awaiting at Fili, supposing he would tell her more, but he kept looking surly in another direction.

Just when she wanted to insist, he looked emotionally into her eyes. 'We know everything,' he burst out. 'That you are engaged. That you are a princess. Why have you kept those things secret? I thought we were friends!'

Now it was her turn to look away. She had known this moment would come.

'Because I didn't trust Thorin. I was afraid he would hurt me if he found out!'

At least that feeling had been there until they were chased away from Beorn's house.

'But I am not Thorin!' Fili snarled.

'I didn't want you to keep secrets from him! Just because I did trust you, I told you nothing!'

Fili shook his head. 'Everything was one big lie. How do you think I felt when I found out you are going to marry? I woke up and stared right into the face of an elf who claimed he was engaged to you! While I was flirting with you the day before! I am so ashamed I mumbled your name while I was sleeping.' He shook his head again and Alyssae saw he was fighting his tears.

She swallowed and thought about her own dream, by which she felt embarrassed as well.

'I didn't know,' she whispered. 'Thorin told me when you were already gone.'

'Thorin told you?' Fili screamed in disbelief and his cheeks turned even redder. 'You have chattered about my feelings while I was fighting for my life?'

Alyssae knew it sounded ridiculous, but that was the way things were. 'He warned me not to play with your feelings since he knew I was engaged.'

Fili looked up, even more hurt than before. 'Of all people Thorin knew you was engaged? While Kili and I did not? You are such an ... elf! A lying elf!'

He wanted to turn around, but Alyssae grabbed his arm. She couldn't keep her eyes dry any longer. 'Please Fili! I never meant to hurt you! Thorin found out when he intercepted my letter to my parents!'

He squeezed his eyes. 'Oh, and now I have to believe you are telling the truth?'

'I never lied!' Alyssae protested. 'Yes, I have been silent about certain things because I believed that was better for everyone, but I never lied!'

She got the feeling she didn't reach Fili. It cut her soul he stood next to her so defeated, as if she had stepped on his heart and crushed it without remorse before his eyes.

'I never wanted to hurt you,' she whispered, while trying to find his eyes through her haze of tears. 'Never.'

'You should have thought about that before all this!' he snarled. 'You betrayed all of us. We almost exposed our secrets to an elf princess who doesn't dare to share her own secrets! I never loved a woman so much and now it turns out she doesn't even exist!' He shook his head and his cheeks were just as wet as hers. 'I should have known an elf can't be trusted! They watched our home burn to the ground. They did nothing!'

His insults weren't over, since he kept screaming in Khuzdul and even though she could not understand, his words did explain the anger and the distress of the young dwarf.

Alyssae could hear it no longer. She wanted him to quit his accusations, since she neither liked the way things were now. In the middle of a curse she bowed forward and kissed his lips so he would shut up. She succeeded immediately. His words silenced and his anger seemed to flow away.

Alyssae did not think about the consequences. She opened her mouth to welcome his tongue, that no longer spit out cursing words.

He was the first one with who she shared a kiss and despite her cheeks that were wet of sadness and self-reproach she felt remarkable gifted.