Although it was not Thorin who kissed her, she still enjoyed it. Fili had laid a hand on her hip and seemed to have abandoned his anger. Her neck hurt a little because she had to bend her head deeply to touch his lips, but that was a small sacrifice now she no longer needed to hear his flood of accusations.

His moustache tickled, making her giggle nervously. Fili pulled his face back and looked at her so insecure that she threw her arms around him and pulled him closer.

'I was so afraid I would never see you again.'

A warm tear ran down her cheek. She could still not comprehend that she held him in her arms.

She released him and looked straight into his eyes. There were many things she wanted to tell him, but she could not find the right words. She was not sure she regretted the fact that she had just kissed him. She had liked to kiss him, but she knew it was not fair. If he felt for her what she felt for Thorin... then his lips would still be burning after a week.

'I - you gonna tell this to your fiancé?'

Alyssae shrugged and sighed. 'I am only hurting people who are too good for me.' She let go of him again and looked past him. 'I'm sorry that I kissed you.'

'I did not mind,' he replied with red cheeks.

'But I do not help you to get rid of your feelings.'

Fili stared at the ground. 'I make no chance?'

Alyssae bit her lip. 'I did not choose to marry Thranduin. Every time he tries to kiss me, I turn my face away. I know I'm not in love with you, Fili, but you do more to me than my fiancé. I've never kissed a man.'

Fili stared at her incredulously. 'Are you serious?'

From his surprise she could conclude that didn't go for him, but she was not amazed. His flirting was so natural that she never would have noticed when Thorin hadn't spoken about it.

'Maybe that's the reason I did it,' she admitted reluctantly. 'Because I was curious.' She looked at him carefully. 'And because I no longer wanted to hear you screaming.'

A stupid smile adorned his lips. 'Maybe I should scream more often.'

Alyssae chuckled at his audacity, but her look became then serious again. He deserved the truth. 'My thoughts are occupied by someone else,' she admitted with red cheeks.

'Who? One of the elves?'

'No,' muttered Alyssae. 'One of you.'

As soon as she had spoken these words, she knew she could not reveal her secret. Thorin was not only his king, he was also his uncle. There was no doubt that he wanted to keep her secret, but she wondered whether he would succeed in the end. In some ways he was just like Thorin and one of the things they shared was their fury when they were angry. They both could burst out in angry words, revealing things that sometimes can better be left unsaid.

'One of us?'

Fili looked at her curiously and Alyssae was surprised there was no jealousy on his face.

'Who then, Kili?'

Alyssae shook her head hastily. She didn't want to interfere in their relationship.

'Bofur?'

She looked down and took a decision. Probably nobody would be happy about it, but she thought it was the safest decision. She didn't dare to admit that she had fallen in love with Thorin. She wanted to, but she was afraid what he would do if found out. Bofur however was easier to deal with and she did not believe the dwarf saw something in her. Eventually the truth was just a little twisted.

'Yes,' she murmured, her cheeks now red from embarrassment. 'Bofur.'

She didn't dare to look at Fili, knowing she indeed deserved at all the curses he had screamed at her.