Alyssae was very confused by everything that had happened today. She wanted to sleep, but there were several thoughts that kept her awake. The marks on her throat were still burning, but it was especially Thorin's remark that gave her a strange feeling in her stomach. He knew.

She had repeatedly wondered how he would react if he found out what the words meant and she had come to different conclusions – from tantrums to passionate kissing, but she never expected he would do nothing. He seemed to accept her love. He was not implying that he liked her too, but he neither seemed to have a problem with it.

She sighed, closed her eyes and thought of the embrace. She could still feel his hands on her shoulders and she decided, how childish it might sound, not to wash this dress anymore. The smirk that played on his lips still made her heart beat faster, just like the reddening of his cheeks when he'd admitted that he knew what she had said. She wanted to think about these beautiful moments, but she couldn't forget his terrifying face and clawing fingers around her throat. He had almost killed her.

It was more than special that he had embraced her, but that did not compensate the fact that he had tried to take her life. She had seen in his eyes that he had repented, but how long would that last? She realized she was still afraid of him, even though she loved him dearly, and it would probably endure a while before that feeling would fade away.

Alyssae slipped into a deep sleep with vague dreams, but woke up when she heard the door open. Her heart pounded frantically in her throat and a little embarrassed she saw that it was the red-haired elf again. She was relieved.

"How do you feel?"

Alyssae shrugged. "I don't know."

"You will feel a lot better when you go outside. You've slept for almost twelve hours."

She nodded a little blankly and became aware of her rumbling stomach. Her legs shook as she put her feet on the ground.

"I saw you let the dwarf go?" the elf asked with an inquisitive look.

"Yes. We've talked about it."

The woman said nothing, but her eyes told her she would have acted differently. Maybe she was right and it was absurd indeed how she had reacted, but she had no regret.

"Who are you?" Alyssae wanted to know.

"Tauriel," the elf replied as she kept the door open for her. "I was helping Thranduin to find you."

Alyssae hoped she wouldn't bring her to her fiancé, because her mind was occupied by other things. Fortunately the elf seemed to feel her thoughts, for she first brought her to a room where some others were eating. Tauriel took some fruits and lembas bread and sat next to her at the table. Hopefully Alyssae looked around. She would like to see the dwarves and believed the worst lay behind her now she had made things up with Fili and Thorin. Unfortunately the dwarves were nowhere to be seen.

"What did you see?" Tauriel asked with a shimmering look in her eyes when she also had taken some food for herself. "During the journey?"

Alyssae smiled and started to tell about the events. Her voice was alive when she narrated how Kili and Bofur had freed her from the dungeons. Then she described how they fled the wargs, which had been fatal for the dear hobbit. She spoke about her injuries and those of Thorin and after a brief hesitation she told Tauriel also about the uncertainties that they had experienced and how difficult it had been to find access to the dwarf hearts. It was a relief to tell her story to someone, because she got the feeling that she had kept things to herself way too long.

"We have spent a few days in the house of Beorn, a skin changer. There Thorin and I convalesced and I took the time to get the dwarves to know, since besides Fili, Kili and Bofur I had not really succeeded. It was a great time and we felt so good that we decided to celebrate our progress. At the time we were tipsy dancing, the orcs invaded."

She recalled the helplessness she had experienced when she was under the table, so drunk that she was talking to herself while she was invisible - something she did not tell Tauriel.
"Thorin, Kili and Fili came back for me," she said, "and they helped me out." She remembered the long journey that followed thereafter. "I was very sick and saw something terrifying in every shade. I even vomited on Thorin's royal shoes," She chuckled, "I was terrified that he would chop off my head."

Tauriel grinned, shaking her head. She hung onto every word Alyssae said, which encouraged her to continue.

"When I saw Mirkwood, I didn't want to go further. Fili and Kili stayed with me and we hid among the rocks, while the rest went into the woods, hoping to lure the orcs away from us."

Then the tone of her voice became bloomy. The memories of that trip were not nice: Fili's disappearance, the forest that drove Thorin mad, her lonely quest for Fili, Thorin and she who were caught by a giant spider, the death of Bifur and the injuries of Dwalin. She talked about her choice to make Dwalin asleep and the fact that Thorin accidentally pushed her out of the barge.

While Alyssae reported the events, she could hardly imagine that this had happened in such a short time. After she had finished her last words, Tauriel looked at her silently. She seemed to understand why she couldn't lock up Thorin, especially when she admitted she had not told the dwarves about her origins.

"What are you going to do now?" Tauriel wanted to know as she slid off her empty plate.

Alyssae stared at the tabletop. "I want to go with them to their mountain and defeat the beast. That's what I promised them after Bilbo died and I do not like to break my promises." She sighed softly. "Thranduin will not understand me, but they are part of me. We have been through so much that I cannot just put an end to it."

Tauriel seemed to empathize with her. "I think he will understand it," she said hesitantly, "but I am sure he will not let you alone again."

Alyssae suspected she was right, but she did not know how Thorin would react. Did he want to show Erebor to another elf or would he rather leave her behind here, where she belonged after all?

She couldn't imagine the first option. His pride would stand in his way. It had taken days to win his confidence and although Thranduin was somewhat gentler than she was, he was also less persistent. The last option... that would make her very sad. She wanted to see their faces when they reached Erebor. She wanted to shout with them when they had chased away the dragon and she wanted to weep with them when they would fail to do that. It would break her heart when Thorin forced her to stay behind, but there was only one person who would make choice. He was also the only one who had the right to make that choice, and in the end she could do nothing but obey the command of a king who spoke about his own kingdom.