After Alyssae and Tauriel had eaten enough, they left the room and walked through the realm of Thranduil. Alyssae enjoyed Tauriels company: they discovered they had many things in common. They had experienced about the same amount of summers, were very fond of their freedom and wanted to see something of the world before they were bound to a family.
"When will you marry Thranduin?" Tauriel asked curiously after they had both hoisted on a high branch and looked out over the hundreds of steps that formed the streets of the city.
"When I'm ready," Alyssae muttered. "It will also depend on Thorin's decision whether we could accompany him or not."
She stared at her feet that wobbled in emptiness and thought about the dwarf. Where would he be? What would he do? And how would he feel about yesterday? Those were questions she probably would never get an answer on.
"As far as I can judge, Thranduin is a fine suitor."
Alyssae sighed, not sure if she could share her secret with an elf she just met. She could however not imagine she would tell it to someone else.
"It's a wonderful man, and I was quite happy when my father consented to the marriage, but I have changed the last weeks." She stared into the distance. "I lost my heart to someone else."
She looked from the corner of her eyes to Tauriel, a little afraid of her reaction.
"A dwarf?" she asked with an amused smile on her lips.
Alyssae's cheeks turned red and she played with the hem of her dress. "It is a shame, I know."
"Don't be silly," Tauriel responded with raised eyebrows. "Love is never a shame. Nobody decides in advance to whom he gives his or her heart. "
Alyssae sighed softly. It was sweet Tauriel said that, but it didn't solve the problem.
"Who is it?" the elf woman asked curiously. "If I may ask? I've studied them a little those last days ..."
She didn't answer immediately. It would be the first time she admitted her feelings to someone and somehow it felt as a betrayal of Fili and Kili, who she knew much longer. Of course it was much easier to share it with Tauriel, because she was not related to Thorin, but she knew the brothers would not be happy with her.
"Say nothing," Tauriel smiled. "It's none of my business."
"I haven't told anyone," Alyssae replied. "Except him."
"And he did nothing with it?"
She laughed at the very idea that Thorin would do something with it, except becoming angry.
"No. I don't think he has any idea what to do with it."
Alyssae knew deep down she didn't know if she wanted him to do anything. Of course she longed with her whole being for him, but they were not meant to be and a relationship would get them nowhere.
Her own thoughts were ridiculous. Thorin had tried to murder her yesterday. Despite his erratic moods he perhaps liked her a little bit in all his secrecy, but more than an acquaintance she would never be. It made no sense to hold on to illusions and wild fantasies.