Chapter 8

Edward was pretty sure that he'd never been more nervous than he was while making his way across town to the address Bella had given him. She had assured him that she would take care of everything and be waiting for his arrival to save him from having to explain anything, but that didn't change the fact that he was about to pick her up from her parents' house, home of the mayor.

Was he going to be invited inside? Would he have to meet her folks? And how exactly was one expected to dress, much less behave, if they were visiting the home and family of a politician? Edward had been asking himself all of that and more since he'd decided it was time to get ready for his outing with Bella.

Prior to that moment he had kept himself busy and therefore unable to worry. He'd reasoned all along that this wasn't really a date after all, so what was there to be nervous about. They'd already been to the bookstore together and he'd had a great time. In fact, given the reason for their first meeting, this time should be even better. They'd already established a friendship and had talked at length about many of Edward's original concerns. It meant that this time around they could just relax and enjoy each other's company, get to know one another better without having to share their attention with others.

That line of thinking had been fine while he spent some time earlier in the day catching up on sleep and then some homework. It wasn't until he went upstairs to shower and he'd started to wonder about what to wear that the reality of what he was about to do hit him.
He was going to pick Bella up from her place, in his old beat up car, wearing some combination of clothes she'd probably already seen him in before, even though she'd only known him for a week. They were going to ride over to the bookstore they'd visited once before and sit and talk, perhaps have some coffee that Bella would feel obligated to pay for. When it was all said and done he'd take her home and say goodnight, hoping for a smile and maybe another kiss, and then they could make plans to do it again sometime. With that in mind it had started to sound more and more like a date, and a pretty miserable excuse for one in Edward's opinion.

He felt like Bella should be able to ride around in a car that was at least equal to the one she owned, with a guy who could afford to buy her something as simple as a coffee. That guy should be able to put on a nice shirt and comb his hair and say hello to her mother without being terrified that she'd be able to tell what his parents' bank account looked like. It was enough to make him once again question what the hell he thought he was doing. No matter how well they got along with one another and how much they had in common outside of their family dynamics, there was more than enough to make any sane person wonder how this was ever supposed to work.

But then again, there was that kiss.

Edward was still having a hard time, trying to figure out what had come over him. He'd only wanted Bella to know that he was willing, that he'd developed feelings for her that he hoped she might return. It was just supposed to be a simple gesture of affection between friends, but Bella's willingness had caught him off guard. Thankful after the fact that he hadn't offended or frightened her off by his enthusiasm, he'd been little more than a bumbling idiot for the rest of the evening, distractedly daydreaming and grinning about nothing.

But it wasn't nothing.

Just the thought of her smile and the memory of her kissing him back was enough to make his heart flip. He wanted it to mean something. For it to be some sort of proof that they could be together and that nothing else mattered. And as he watched her skip down the impressive front steps of her house and let herself into his car without a second's hesitation, he believed for a moment that nothing else did.

"Thank you for being early," she enthused, flopping into his passenger seat and leaning over to lightly kiss his cheek in greeting. "I can't wait to get out of here and relax for a while."

Edward was mildly dumbfounded as he watched Bella adjust her seatbelt and straighten her hair, tucking a few strands of it behind her ear, as he'd come to know she often did. It would appear that he'd been worrying himself unnecessarily, obsessing over things he should have known would ever matter to her.

"Have any trouble finding the place?" She continued conversationally as he pulled away and headed towards the opposite end of the long horseshoe-shaped driveway. Her cheeks were pink and by the feel of it so were his. It made him appreciate her ability and willingness to ignore what had just happened and the fact that he'd been unable to even say hello so far.

"No, it was easy enough." When his voice didn't break over his words he felt comfortable enough to say more and somehow all of his nerves managed to disappear.

"You look nice, by the way." She was wearing another pair of shorts, comparable to the ones that Emmett had been so impressed by the first time they had met, and a light shirt that was far more feminine looking than the usual t-shirts she often wore. It made him wonder if she hadn't been giving this outing just as much thought as he had.

"See this is what my mom doesn't understand. It's way easier to get compliments if you don't usually try and look like a movie star."

Edward laughed at her acknowledgement of the compliment and how she went on to notice that he looked slightly different than usual as well.

"Just a tip from a friend though, I wouldn't wear this shirt to school anytime soon unless you're looking to gain even more of a fan following than you have already."

"What are you talking about?" He chuckled.
He had opted to put on a plaid button down, which was one of his nicer shirts but not one he'd thought to wear recently since it was long sleeved. With the sleeves cuffed to his elbows however it was still light enough to be comfortable, and he didn't mind at all that Bella had noticed the one thing that Alice always said about this shirt.

"These colors make your eyes stand out even more than they usually do. Not that they ever needed any help."

He'd had dozens of girls mention how pretty his eyes were before. So bright and green, like emeralds, they would say. Always staring uncomfortably at him as they'd gush about how jealous they were that a boy would have such beautiful eyes. Bella on the other hand never made such mundane or annoying observations. Instead she made him feel like it was just another something she'd noticed and liked about him without making a big deal about it.

"Thanks for the suggestion, I'll just wear it when we're alone in that case." He gave her a little wink that brought out her smile and renewed the color in her cheeks. It made Edward wonder again what it was that had him feeling so nervous before. Maybe it was just fear of the unknown. With all that they had talked about and discovered during this brief relationship things were still progressing beyond what Edward had imagined possible, and at a much faster pace than he'd anticipated. Still, when he was with her everything seemed effortless.

"So what are you trying to escape this afternoon that was so horrible." He questioned, remembering her exasperated greeting just moments ago.

"My life in general is probably too broad of a description, so I'll just say my mother today." Her tone let him know that she was mostly joking but he still wondered if there wasn't something else to it. Bella never seemed like the type to drag other people into whatever was bothering her, but if she needed someone to talk to Edward was more than happy to listen.

"Well, unless your mom has some business at the bookstore this afternoon we can hide out there as long as you want to." He promised, going on to tell her about a few new books he'd heard of recently that sounded interesting. He was hoping that the store might hold onto a few copies so that he could come by for an hour or so when he had the time to read them without having to worry about the cost until he got a little money saved up. He didn't know exactly why he felt like sharing so much detail with Bella, especially when it included talk about money, but she didn't disappoint. If anyone could put a positive spin on something and find a way to relate it was Bella.

"My mom got sick of how many books I use to collect as a kid, said they always made a room feel so cluttered. It's one of the main reasons I fell in love with this place once I found it. It's the perfect place to grab a book and a comfy couch and read. It keeps me from feeling the need to buy so many and bring them home."

"Well my reasons are slightly different, but I know what you mean. A good bookstore with a good atmosphere is priceless."

Their conversation comfortably continued for the rest of the short drive it took to get to their destination. Taking the initiative this time, Edward met Bella on the opposite side of the car after he'd parked against the curb and took hold of her hand as they walked towards the entrance. He'd been looking to reciprocate her affection in some small way after she'd silenced all of his worries with that unexpected kiss, and he also wanted her to know that he was perfectly comfortable with where things seemed to be headed. The smile that greeted his gesture and the way she immediately laced her fingers with his gave him a wonderful jolt of satisfaction.

"Cappuccino first, then upstairs to pick up where we left off?" Bella suggested as much as directed, steering them towards the coffee shop at the back as soon as they were through the door.

"You know I still don't have that first paycheck, right?" Edward mentioned, making sure to keep his voice light. He didn't want to ruin their plans or make Bella feel bad for wanting something he was unable to pay for.

"I'm really hoping this becomes a regular thing for us, so there will be plenty of opportunities to buy your share." She assured him. "In the meantime you can learn what I like to order, in case you want to surprise me sometime."

"Hey, Bella. The usual?" The girl behind the counter was perfectly polite but Edward didn't miss the way she looked him over standing there next to Bella, their hands still joined together.

"Two please, and go ahead and put them in to-go cups so we can head upstairs." Bella cheerfully requested, turning slightly towards Edward now to ask if he wanted anything else, something to eat maybe.

"Maybe later. With your addiction you know you're gonna want a refill before we leave." He teased making Bella chuckle and determine that he might already know her just a little too well.

With coffees now in hand, Bella started up the spiral staircase in the corner encouraging Edward to follow along much the same way she'd done on their previous visit. This time however she kept hold of his hand while leading the way.

"Did you get much beyond Bronte after I had to leave last time?" Edward inquired as he took a cautious sip of the hot beverage, savoring how delicious it was, before directing them towards where he'd reluctantly said goodbye that day. They'd just arrived and Edward wanted to take things slow and enjoy their time together, but he'd recently realized that he was dying to address something that remained unsaid between them.

"Not really. I was sort of...distracted afterwards." Something about her answer made him glance towards her. "Not too many guys make me daydream, but you certainly did." She boldly responded to his inquisitive look, providing him with the perfect opportunity.

"And there I was, scared that I might frighten you away." He chuckled.

"I'm the one who usually scares people."

"And why is that? You don't frighten me at all." Edward knew he was lying and somehow he could see that Bella knew it as well, but he didn't care. He was scared, but only of how much he wanted to be with her.

"Not even a little?" she played along.

Edward couldn't help himself this time anymore than he'd been able to before, but at least now he was confident that she's play along and maybe even appreciate his advance. Without speaking he set his coffee down and with his free hand he adjusted her position until she was facing the bookcase, recreating the intimate position they'd once shared as he stood behind her. This time he wasn't afraid to touch her, and after encouraging her to set her coffee aside as well, he took hold of both of her hands before wrapping her in a hug from behind.

"Why would I be afraid of someone so kind, and gentle, and...little?" He whispered next to her ear, his voice rumbling slightly.
He was rewarded by the feel of her leaning into him as he'd once imagined.

"Because I don't know what to do with you, Edward. I don't know how to be with someone like you, but I want to."

"That doesn't scare me, Bella. What scares me is how much I've wanted to hear you say that." He confessed honestly and easily.

When Bella went to turn within his embrace Edward encouraged her movement and found himself standing face to face with her now, their bodies just as close. She tasted like sweet cream and espresso, her lips warm and inviting beneath his. Edward was convinced for a moment that he'd fallen into a dream. Her hands had long freed themselves from his own and were now buried in his hair, urging him closer, and it was encouragement that he didn't need.
Lost as he'd become he didn't realize until it was too late and Bella was pulling away that he'd wrapped her so securely to him, lifting her off of her feet to accommodate his height.

"Slowly, Edward. I don't want anyone to throw us out when we've only just gotten here." Bella kissed him lightly as a sign of forgiveness as he lowered her, carefully releasing her from his hold.

Idiot.

"I don't know what got into me. Are you okay?"

"I'm actually better than okay." She grinned for him. "Just the next time you decide to kiss me like that, it would probably be better if we weren't in a public place."

"Sorry about that." Edward embarrassingly scratched at the back of his neck and confessed that he'd imagined doing that ever since he'd left her standing here so many days ago now. He couldn't believe he was willing to tell her so much, but he had no other way of explaining his behavior.

"You're everything I'm not suppose to want. I'm not going to lie and say that my parents are going to be as happy as yours were when you come around and hang out. They certainly won't want to hear that we're..." The hesitation was her way of asking permission, and though it was hard for Edward to hear her say exactly what he'd always dreaded, he gave her a smile and an encouraging nod. He wanted to hear her acknowledge what was happening between them. "That we mean something to each other. They won't want to know that I'm out with you, or like seeing me hold your hand...but I don't care. You're the first guy I've ever met that I can't stop thinking about."

Edward gave Bella a very comforting hug to let her know how much he understood. Everything she'd just confirmed had been on his mind from the moment he'd recognized his attraction to her. In her parents' eyes he would never be good enough for her, his status not elevated enough. But here she was, telling him in no uncertain terms that she wanted to be with him, that she couldn't stop thinking about him.

"Come on, let's go find a couch to crash on for a while and enjoy our drinks. The books aren't going anywhere." His offer was the best he could come up with at the moment. He didn't have any answers for the potential dilemma that they could be facing sooner rather than later with her family, and he didn't want to continue standing there awkwardly not knowing what he might say in order to reassure Bella that they would figure out a way to make this work. Instead he wanted to sit with her, hold her hand and say something that would make her smile, hoping to make up for the less than subtle way he'd chosen to reopen the topic of this pending relationship.

"Mike Newton's gonna be pissed, you know."

"Why do you say that?" Bella asked before taking a sip of her drink, now seated next to Edward on a cozy little sofa made for two.

"That little punk is far too observant for his own good, but he sort of picked up on the fact that I can't stop staring at you whenever we're in the same room. He's been speculating since day one, and I've been denying it left and right."

"Denying what exactly?" There was that smile, and the playfulness in her voice that he'd started to miss. Although he was embarrassed to say, he knew that she'd never hold it against him.

"That I'm falling for you. That I want to ask you out..." He stopped himself before he could add that he wasn't good enough for her. "He'll think that I've been withholding information if we suddenly start acting more friendly towards one another at school."

Bella was turned slightly so that she was partly facing Edward, which made it easy for her to reach out and place her hand on his knee. When he reached to cover her hand with his own she began telling him about the time Mike had asked her to a school dance when they were both in the sixth grade. He had convinced everyone that Bella liked him and that she wanted him to ask her. Bella however wasn't interested in going to the dance at all. Most school functions felt more like obligations to her, even at that age, since it was just another excuse for people to judge her. They wanted to see what she'd wear and who she'd dance with. She knew that's what Mike had been up to all along. If he could say that he was taking Bella, that she'd agreed to be his date then it would somehow improve his status as far as he was concerned.
Weeks went by after she'd initially heard about his plans before he eventually got up the nerve to ask her, and no matter what he said he'd been a stuttering mess when he'd done it. Bella had tried to make her excuses but Mike wasn't so easily swayed. He went about telling their classmates that she was trying to play shy and hard to get, but he wasn't going to give up that easily. She'd always assumed that he had something to prove. That he didn't necessarily like her, but the idea of her, the girl that never got too friendly with the boys, that never hung out with anyone from school outside of class. It was as if the decision she'd made a few years before to keep her time away from school to herself had somehow made her even more desirable.

"So what changed your mind? I mean I'm not complaining, but why me? Why Alice? Why take a chance on friendship after all this time, with people like us?"

"Stop being so negative, Edward. When you say 'people like us,' it makes it sound like you think there's something wrong with you." Bella gently admonished.

"Still, you know what I mean." Edward pressed. This was the one thing he'd wondered about most.

"Well with Alice it was simple. She's this incredible little bundle of energy, and I don't think I've ever met someone who is even more optimistic than I try to be."

Edward loved the way her eyes softened and her smile was so genuine as she spoke of his sister. He listened as she recounted how they'd actually met that first day, as she was racing to make it to first period on time after getting stuck in the computer lab for longer than she'd anticipated. Alice had been hesitating outside the classroom door studying her schedule and noticed Bella coming her way just as the bell had sounded. Bella was officially late, and said so out loud thanks to her frustration. Alice on the other hand politely introduced herself and informed her that she had made them late waiting for her schedule and that Bella was kind enough to escort her to first period, since she was the new kid and obviously lost.

"Show me a teacher who is going to punish someone for an act of kindness and I'll show you one who is begging to be fired"

"Sounds like Alice." Edward had chuckled at the story.

"I thanked her for helping me out and she just started talking my ears off. I've never met someone so open and honest and willing to talk to me like just another kid at school. I knew she probably didn't know about my dad at that point, but I could also see that it probably wouldn't matter to her."

"So, what about me?" Edward cautiously asked after Bella had fondly praised Alice for several more minutes.

"I'm still trying to figure that one out." She shyly acknowledged.

"All of that about Alice and nothing about me?" He teased her now.
Although he was undoubtedly curious, he didn't care if she'd be willing to share a million reasons why she'd chosen him, or none at all. What mattered was she was here, and she wanted to be. She knew that her parents probably wouldn't approve and that their peers would notice the differences between them. Still, she was prepared give him a chance, and that was more than he'd ever dared to hope for.

"Can you tell me why you think I'm worth the effort? It's obvious that you could have any girl, so why me?"
She'd turned the tables, but he didn't mind. The nervous feelings he'd been dealing with as he'd prepared to pick her up this afternoon were nowhere in sight and he knew if he wanted them to stay that way there were things to say and questions to ask.

"I don't know why girls act the way they do around me. I wonder sometimes if its not like you said before, maybe you do become more desirable if you don't seek the attention. Either way you're not like all those other girls. You're smart, and kind, and funny without trying so hard to seem that way." Edward grinned at the blush beginning to color her cheeks once more.
"And you don't even seem to realize that about yourself.
"With most girls I get annoyed pretty easily and I find myself trying hard not to run away, but with you I want to stick around, to talk and to listen. I want to hear about what you did last night, and what your plans are for later, and find myself thinking about you whenever I'm alone."

Edward hesitated briefly wondering if he should say more. Bella already knew that he'd worried about their differences and that he'd assumed the worst, fearing she'd find his family's situation too difficult to ignore.

"Bella, I've struggled a lot with everything that's happened with my family the past few years, and it made me forget that there are good people in the world, people who are caring and compassionate just for the sake of being nice. I'm not going to deny that I was already...attracted to you in some way, but after really sitting and talking with you the other day you made me realize that I'd given up too soon."

He suddenly felt her hand against the side of his face, but he hadn't seen her move. Before he could make much sense of what was happening she leaned in and kissed him gently on the lips. It was a simple kiss, innocent but loving, and when she pulled away she took a moment to clear her throat before speaking.

"I've never dated anyone before, never brought anyone home to meet my parents. I've always been too afraid of their expectations, since I know the kind of guys they would prefer I be interested in. Someone older and ambitious, someone destined to be politics. Which usually translates into the son of a friend or colleague, who would only pretend to like me because of what my name and association could do for their future career.
"When I first met you, I was hoping for another friend. I could tell we had a few things in common and with Alice being your sister I knew you couldn't be all bad."

Edward chuckled again and Bella smiled.

"What I didn't count on was how incredibly passionate you are. You're smart and honest and sensitive, and I can tell how much you love your family. I decided a while ago that if I was going to be open to the idea of dating, if I was going to feel confident announcing to my parents that I'd met someone, it would have to be someone like you. I just never imagined that you'd really exist or that I'd be able to find you if you did."

Edward knew that he was blushing now, partly because of her praise but also because of the meaning behind her words.
They had spoken in a roundabout way in his room the day before about their feelings. He had taken it as a positive step and knew that they would speak again, but he'd not counted on things moving so quickly. One moment they were discussing a mutual admiration for one another, the next they'd already moved on to physical affection, and now here they were talking about all of the reasons they wanted to be together.

Ask her, tell her, say something!

Seizing the moment, Edward attempted to start out slowly, choosing his words carefully. "Bella, I know that we're still getting to know each other, but I really like you..."

"Don't."

"Don't what?" Edward hadn't expected the interruption, even if he wasn't exactly sure how he was going to get through addressing the issue. And he certainly hadn't anticipated her thoughtful reasoning.

"I don't feel like we need labels or formalities. This already feels almost too good to be true, so just know that if you ask me to go somewhere or to meet you, I will. If you want to see me between classes or even ride to school together occasionally, I'm all for it. And if you want to hold my hand or kiss me sometimes, I'd like that."

He could see what Bella was starting to get at. He didn't have to ask her out, or question whether they were boyfriend and girlfriend. Enough had already been said to make that point clear. Instead she was suggesting that they continue to allow this relationship grow and evolve at its own pace, while letting him know that she was up for whatever came next.

"Me too." He decided to agree while leaning in to take advantage of that final offer.