A/N: So I'm kind of just getting back into writing - forgive me if there's any mistakes or things that don't make sense. I'm trying my best to write in character, but I feel like some of it is OOC. Any constructive criticism is more than welcomed! Also, a warning: that mature rating comes into play in this chapter, so just in case you weren't aware. Enjoy!
Connie didn't sleep much that night. She tossed and turned, replaying the entire evening in her head, and being in her old room for the first time in a long time wasn't helping her be at ease. She rolled over, facing the single window displaying dim stars, no more moonlight in sight. Stuck in the place between the night turning into pale dawn, it was hard to decide whether to force herself to sleep or just lay there. Her hand kept gently touching her lips, afraid that if she fell asleep she would wake up to find out this had only been a dream.
The window itself was a reminder of the things she had hidden away for the years she'd been away. It had been a gateway for many teenage nights spent lying together with Steven, exploring one another, scared that her parents could walk in at any second, but too happy to care. She mentally interrupted the ripples of memories, reminding herself that this isn't what she came back for.
"You came back here to make amends. Don't get your hopes up. This isn't going to work out... you're leaving again in the spring. You're not off the hook, either."
Mentally talking herself into rationalizing the gravity of situations was starting to become a habit she was well acquainted with. She imagined meeting up with Steven again tomorrow, going over what she would say if she were to blurt out the truth. "It's so great to see you again, and I came here to let you know that I messed up. By the way, I was an idiot and forgot to mention the fact that I'm seeing someone. By the way, I love you. By the way, I'm leaving again. Hope you're ok with that." Cringing at her dialogue, she draped an arm over her eyes.
Her phone buzzed in the silence of her dark room with a text notification. "Speak of the devil."
-Did you make it? I never heard from you. Nice of you to let me know.-
She grimaced as she read the message, the contact at the top labeled "Adam." Her cheeks flushed with anger for a moment before deciding to message him back.
-Sorry. I made it. It was a long day. I told you I'd be with my family when I got here. Don't be an asshole.-
-Excuse me for caring. If you wanted to take a break from us, you could have just said so. I'm so sick of you dodging me. Go be with your family and call me when you're done being a bitch.-
Adam had been on and off with Connie throughout her time at law school. When she decided not to mention the fact that she'd be taking the next semester off until the day before she left, it was out of a necessity she couldn't quite explain. His angled, pointy face always stuck with a scowl, and his touch always left her feeling less than she was. The thought of leaving him for good made her nervous. When she returned, they would be stuck together on the same class team for her final semester.
"You know you'd enjoy school a little more if you just relaxed," he said to her one day as they sat in a busy coffee shop, her text books surrounding her.
"Sorry, I just really have to work at this right now. I'll meet up with you later, I promise!" A smile spread across her face to add to it.
He gripped her wrist a little too hard. "Don't forget."
She touched her wrist, the memory burning in her skin like a fire.
"No. No more of this. You used to be so brave. What happened?" She sucked in a giant breath and started to furiously text back.
-I'll call you when I want to. Fuck off for awhile.-
It wasn't quite a breakup, or even good, but it was a start. Her heart was pounding as she watched the message deliver, the anxiety of regret falling into her stomach like a rock. Almost immediately, her phone started buzzing with a call. Laying there watching it ring without picking it up gave her a satisfied sense of accomplishment, chasing her anxiety away - even more so when she turned her phone completely off. The feeling satisfied her enough to finally fall asleep.
Dodging the nosy questions of her parents was a feat that Connie wasn't sure how she'd overcome, but somehow she found herself out of the house and into the day. Her phone was still off, and she put off turning it back on for awhile.
The day quickly faded into late afternoon, and she was soon parked at the Beach City main strip, her sneakers trudging up the sidewalk the same as last night. Stopping at an older looking store, Bargain Books, she was happy to finally find a place that wouldn't put her on edge. When she had mentioned to Steven that she had some things to do, the truth was she just needed time to gather her courage to face him again.
Browsing aisles of books always felt comfortable, no matter what was troubling her. She reached for a thick book titled "The Laws of Law School," amusedly. She stood and flipped through its pages and casually glanced out the store window, and quickly stopped. Her eyes spotted Steven across the street, heading into a cafe.
"Shit." She whipped her phone out to check the time, forgetting the fact that as she was trying to shut out Adam, she was blocking any way of Steven contacting her. "A lot of good that did you, idiot! He's probably waiting for you. You didn't even let him know what time you'd planned on meeting him. And your phone is off. Fantastic."
She adjusted her beanie, combing the hair that spilled out of it with her fingers, hands starting to shake.
"If you did it yesterday, you can do it again. Come on, Mahaeshwaran. You've been through worse. Don't bother using your phone. Just go over there."
She straightened her shoulders took a couple of deep breaths before walking across the street into the cafe, only to have them deflate into a slouch when she didn't see him inside. "Guess I missed him?" Deciding to grab coffee while she was there, she was right back where she started out on the sidewalk. Her feet took off towards the end of the strip and onto the pier.
Sitting at the edge of the pier had always been one of her favorite spots in Beach City. It wasn't summer, but the sea was just as beautiful in the fall, with low hues of blue and grey against a dark, cloudy sky. A perfect place to gather her thoughts, and in this case, the perfect place to cautiously turn her phone on. She bit her lip, watching text after angry text come through, along with three voicemails.
"Hey! There you are," Steven's voice made her jump, spilling her coffee onto her lap. "Wow, maybe I should think about things before I do them! I'm so sorry!"
"Steven!" She stood up, using the bottom of her sweater to try and wipe the coffee stain splashed down her leg. "Don't even worry about it. It's just..." Her words trailed off as they made eye contact. "...coffee. It's just coffee!" A nervous laugh escaped her lips.
He smiled in relief. His good mood seemed infectious as she found herself smiling as well. "You probably don't want more coffee at this point, but I can get you a new one. Or you could have mine! I just got it. Well, it's not coffee, but it's chai."
"Nah, coffee's for chumps anyways," she faked an eye roll and they shared a laugh. "You know, though, I could use something to eat, though. If you want. I understand if you're busy... I didn't even let you know what my plans were."
"Let's do it!" He held out his hand. "My treat."
She shoved her phone in her back pocket, which hadn't stopped lighting up with notifications. "Deal," she said, before placing her hand in his.
Steven and Connie sat on the beach a ways down from the temple, watching the ocean waves come in and slowly reel out. A dim sunset could be seen behind the clouds, and the only thing left out of their small take-out feast were the small tapioca balls at the bottoms of their boba teas.
She spent time telling him about law school, taking liberties to leave Adam out, and being on a fencing team, and what life was like hundreds of miles away from home. He traded stories of things that had happened around Beach City in her absence, good and bad. The evening was littered with many laughs, and even a few tears.
"I can't believe how much has changed. I feel like I missed so much." Connie stood up and looked out over the water, trying to spot the last speck of glowing sun behind the overcast disappearing below the horizon.
"Well, I can't believe so much has happened over the years, now that I'm telling you about it. Honestly, I feel like it was yesterday that..."
"...that we were just kids?"
"Yeah, exactly." He chuckled. "Connie, I'm so glad I got to talk to you again. I'm so sorry about what happened. I feel like it was all my fault."
She walked back over and sat down again, placing her hand over his. "It wasn't your fault. It was mine. I was the one who left, remember?"
"I could have been around more. I was too busy being worried about things that weren't..."
"Important? Steven, we went through a lot as kids. YOU went through a lot. You finding out about your mom was important! And what happened to you... That was a lot to handle, much less the fact that you had to hang onto that while trying to grow up." He turned to face her, a serious look on her face that she hadn't seen but only a few times throughout the entire time she'd known him. "I was too stupid to realize what I had. Too worried about the stupid expectations my parents put on me and what I was supposed to do with my life," she said as she pulled her hand away and made fists in her lap.
"You didn't want to go away to school?"
"No... yes...?" She sighed. "I don't know." She felt her phone buzz in her back pocket again. "There are a lot of things I regret."
"It's ok," he said calmly. "You're here now, at least. I'm glad for that."
An awful pang surged through her chest, good and bad at the same time. "I'm glad too, but..." She felt a raindrop on her forehead.
"But?"
In an instant, rain decided to dump on them. "But rain!" she cried, then laughed. They ran down the beach and into his house, both drenched.
Shivering and water dripping from the ends of her hair, she took off her sweater and shoes. The house was dark and silent as they tried their best to dry themselves.
"I guess I didn't think about bringing a raincoat. I should probably go home... I don't think to bring a change of clothes either!" That nervous laugh was back again.
Steven was quiet for a moment. "...I've got towels. If you wanted to dry off and warm up first." He caught her gaze with a smile. "Only if you want to. You can go home if you need to!"
It was refreshing to not feel pressured. "It's probably not a good idea to walk to the car in the rain..." She exaggeratedly held her chin as if she were trying to figure out a serious problem. "I could get sick... swept away by a flash flood... attacked by-"
"Water monsters?" He asked, grinning now.
"Oh, yeah, that sounds pretty bad. Better not risk it!" She threw her hands in the air to solidify the point. They shared a laugh, and he took her hand to lead her down a hallway.
"I feel like this is different. You used to have all your things up on the loft in the main room... right? Am I losing it?"
"No, we did a little 'remodeling' a couple of years ago. I have like... an actual room now. Well, you've seen it before, but I learned to actually use it as a room."
They stopped in front of what seemed like an empty wall until a glowing pink doorway faded into existence. Inside, there was a large, open bedroom, filled with things that were unmistakably Steven. Dark gray shelves lined the soft pink walls, filled with pictures, keepsake action figures, and things he'd collected over the years. Several plants hung in the air from the ceiling, all with beautiful foliage spilling out of their pots. A small gasp escaped Connie's lips. "Wow... this is beautiful!"
"Thanks... it's way better than the loft, trust me." He laughed, and walked over to a giant dresser. "I don't have much that would fit, but if you want, I can give you a shirt to put on while your clothes dry." He tossed her a familiar looking t-shirt, adorned with a star. "I'll be back in a second."
He disappeared down a hallway she could have sworn wasn't there when they first walked in. She quickly out her phone and switch it off, trying not to pay attention to the notifications. At a quick glance, she was sure there were at least 50.
"Not important right now," she thought, shoving any thought of Adam out of her mind.
She then tugged off her soaked shirt and jeans, and slipped into the clean shirt. With it falling almost to her knees, it was comfortable to her as she quietly walked around the massive room. She stopped to look out of a giant window that was actually a doorway to a large balcony, overlooking the vast pink field and dusky sky she now recognized.
"Here." Steven came up behind her and draped a large towel over her shoulders. A fresh strawberry smell, mixed with sandalwood, entered her nose as she inhaled and pulled the towel closer.
"Damn... why is everything he does perfect?"
"Thanks," she said. "I was actually freezing."
He smiled again, and they made themselves comfortable on his couch. They easily fell into an old habit from long ago - Connie sat with her back resting on the arm of the couch, her feet resting in Steven's lap. The sky outside had faded into an almost purple shade, making his room dim.
"Tonight's been great. I can't remember the last time I actually felt... normal," he said.
"Yeah, tell me about it. Just coming back home has been a huge relief from..." she started to trail off.
"School?"
"Yes! School. Exactly. Law school." She laughed nervously again, leaning back into the towel. Silence caught up with them and she fiddled with the hem of the shirt.
"What's that?"
She snapped her head up. "What's what?"
"On your leg. Do you have a scar?" He gently touched a scar that started at the bottom of her left knee.
"What? Oh..." She pushed the hem of the shirt down, her cheeks flushing. "Fencing, remember?"
His face faltered into that serious look. "Is that from before you left?"
"No! It's... it's nothing."
"So not fencing?"
She looked away from him. That scar was from her second year, when she wrestled a bottle away from a very drunk Adam, who was supposed to be the one taking her home from the house party they were at. They both fell over, and the bottle broke, slicing her leg. Still bleeding, she helped him up instead of leaving him there like she should have. The memory came and she shooed it away.
"No one did that to you... did they?" he asked.
"What? Steven, don't be ridiculous. I can take care of myself. You know that."
"It's none of my business, I'm sorry. I just care about you... a lot." His fingers traced the scar, stopping at the top of her knee.
His touch gave her chills. "I... I still care about you too." Her words were small, almost a whisper. She had wanted to end the statement with a "but," and then they'd be back to square one.
"Do you want me to fix it?"
"What, my scar?"
He looked at the scar, then into her eyes. Her breath stopped and she felt like her chest might explode. "Yeah," he said. "If you want me to."
"I... I mean... You don't have to. I'm ok, really." Her heart was pounding.
"You shouldn't have to walk around with scars like that. But it's up to you."
She took a deep breath, trying not to blurt out the answer she really wanted to give. "...ok, then. Yes. Please."
He leaned over, gently placing his lips at the bottom of her knee. An intense warmth spread from the scar all the way up her back as goosebumps trailed up her body. The scar slowly faded into new, soft flesh. He sat back up, checking on her.
Unable to hold back any longer, she let the towel drop off her shoulders and she moved forward to press her lips into his.
He pulled back, "Connie, I-"
"No, it's fine... I want this." She kissed him again, and he didn't pull back. As she entangled her hands behind his head, he slipped his arms around her waist.
He trailed off down to her neck, reaching up the shirt to unhook her bra. Quickly, almost desperately, she threw the shirt and bra off and started unbuttoning his jeans. Kissing her again, he picked her up and carried her over to the bed. They became lost to anything else around them as they rapidly became entangled in one another. She felt his hands all over her body, leaving trails of electric warmth that made her unsure if any of it was even real.
What she also couldn't believe was how much Steven had changed. The last time they were intimate was the product of two fumbling teenagers, nervous and unsure. Now he was confident and strong, taking the lead in what they were doing, yet considerate of every touch. A moan escaped her lips as she felt him kiss down her stomach while slowly peeling off the last bit of her clothing.
Her heart pounded faster as she felt him tease the inside of her thighs with small kisses, her fingers gripping the sheets. After taking the time to give both thighs attention, she felt him taste her and a low moan that vibrated up her pelvis. She sighed deeply and ran her hands through his hair as her hips involuntarily moved against his mouth. Her entire body felt like it was on fire.
He gently kissed his way back up her body as she rubbed her hands down his back. They took a moment to look each other in the eyes, both breathing heavily.
"You're so beautiful," he said. She smiled and pressed her lips into his, letting his tongue explore hers as their bodies pressed closer together, and he interlaced a hand with hers. Mapping her body with his, she felt him enter her slowly as she arched her back. She felt the brutal strength of his passion throughout her body as she relentlessly moved her hips against his. Reason tumbled into oblivion as ripples of pleasure engulfed them, and when she was sure her body couldn't handle any more, climax came at her in drugging waves. Eyes closed, breath heavy, and body shaking, she pressed her forehead against his.
Spent and exhausted, they laid together under the sheets in a comfortable silence, their breathing being the only thing filling it. She had her head on his chest, listening to his heartbeat as she lazily stroked her fingers across it. His hands softly played with her hair, and they soon fell into a sleep, dark and dreamless.